My second year anniversary thread
NovusDies
Posts: 8,940 Member
Late as usual since my 2nd year ended in February but at least I am consistently late. I posted it in the main MFP and shamelessly promoted our group in it.
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10791606/2-years-over-200-pounds-lost-lessons-learned-and-life-changed
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10791606/2-years-over-200-pounds-lost-lessons-learned-and-life-changed
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Great post!
I struggle with a lot of the same things you did, though one of the biggest, I think, is unrealistic expectations. And I"m not necessarily talking about losing at 2 lbs/wk; I'm talking about comparing myself to others and expecting myself to be doing as well as them; using highly successful people as the bar to which I must attain, and if I don't meet their level, whether in speed, lbs lost, exercise ability, whatever, then my brain wants to label me a failure, no matter how far I have come.
Of course, that's something I struggle with in most areas of my life, and not just weight loss.
The aerobics videos that I've been using comes from a group called body project. I usually work with their beginner low impact cardio videos, and during those sessions, the gentleman leading them constantly reminds the viewer that it isn't about how fast or how slow we go, it isn't about whether we have to take breaks, it isn't comparing ourselves to anyone else - its our own journey, and its getting to the end in our own way that counts. He says if you have to pause a dozen times, but make it to the end? great!
I struggle with constantly holding myself up to those who my head considers the role models - the only problem is, my head constantly picks those who are so much more advanced than I am and then condemns me for not reaching that level. Or it holds up some sort of expectation that I can't hope to achieve, then castigates me for failing to achieve it. OR better yet, when I actually start to get close to the goal, my head moves the goal posts! For instance: it doesn't matter that I'm down 117 lbs; my brain wants to pound me with guilt if I slow down a week or two, or fall back. It doesn't matter that I'm down 4 clothing sizes; my head expects me to be down 6. And when I get down 6? well then my head will expect me to be down 8. If I get from obese to overweight, I already know my head won't be happy; it will tell me that it doesn't matter that I dropped 200 lbs; I"m still not "healthy" because I'm "overweight". And should I get into the "healthy" range? My head will still guilt trip me because "I should have never gotten that heavy to begin with."
Rationally, I know these are lies; I know I should be happy with what I have achieved, that's it okay to celebrate and be proud of myself for working through. But that self-critical side of me is very difficult to overcome!
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You are not alone. I am finding it a common thing now that people in my everyday life who are beginning are trying to mimic me now. I hate it. I keep reminding them that I started 2 years ago and it was a slow road to get to where I am now. It seems to fall on deaf ears. I did the same thing though. I would try to follow people who were far more advanced than I was and I failed because I could not just jump into doing what they were doing.
One of my biggest changes was forgiving myself and training myself not to think about weight loss at all. After I forgave myself I was able to be kinder and gentler in my approach. By pushing thoughts of weight loss out of my head, as much as possible, I kept my focus on the process. I considered the downward scale action as a surprise benefit of just eating the right number of calories each day.
The one thing I did not post at MFP is that my total weight loss is now 271 pounds. That is very often still a surreal notion. On one hand that I am sitting here saying it instead of hoping for a genie in a bottle to make it happen on the other I feel myself coming out from under the shadow of my very large self. He is starting to fade. It is kind of like I am still really heavy having a dream about being thinner or I am thinner finally waking up from an unsettling dream about being that large. I am not quite present in... well... my present state.3 -
I am very looking forward to some of the anniversary threads from some of our members here. This group started back in July so it won't be too long for even some of the people who joined at the beginning of their effort.1
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I didn't realise just how much you've lost, I knew it was a lot but that is incredible.
Very inspiring.0 -
I;m coming back to My Fitness Pal. I'm 67 years old and have to lose 200 lbs. I just need encouragement from people who have actually lost weight counting calories. I tried WW again and worked for a while but had to quit because of this virus. I'm just more comfortable counting calories. Please anyone, let me know that this is doable with counting calories. Thanks for any encouragement.1
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@nordukes Hi! I can tell you absolutely that counting calories is a very doable way to maintain a deficit and lose weight. I've lost 120 lbs so far and all but the last 10 or so was lost solely by counting calories. No limits to any foods; I don't deem some foods off limits, I don't count carbs or try for "whole" foods or whatever, I just make sure I'm in a calorie deficit. Not that counting carbs is bad, or trying to eat more healthier foods than others, just that if it works for you to help, great; but its not required to lose weight.
I needed that freedom in eating what I wanted; restriction and trying to cut out food groups always led to failure in the past. So if I want a hamburger from McDonald's, I get a hamburger. But along the way, I've also learned to make healthier choices because I know that while I can fit into my daily deficit whatever I want, some foods are much more filling than others, and the more I can eat, the better. So instead of getting a quarter pounder, I get a happy meal hamburger. Instead of a small fry, I get a happy meal fry. I take cheese off my tacos, take mayo off my grilled chicken sandwiches, pitch half the bun, share my little debbie fudge round with someone else, get 1 cookie from McDonald's, or just pass the donut up completely. The difference for me is that I'm not depriving myself of those things by telling myself I can't have them; I'm telling myself that yeah, I could, but if I pass it up, I'll have more calories left for something else I might want!3 -
@nordukes, in my opinion, counting calories is the simplest way to lose weight! It's still not easy, but it works when you stick to it. I have around 200 to lose, and I'm at 85 lbs lost. The last 55 was all from counting calories. Just like bmeadows said, I don't deem anything off limits, but the longer I go, I do find myself making healthier food choices.
If you're just starting out, I recommend taking it one day at a time and not focusing on the total amount you have to lose.1 -
I;m coming back to My Fitness Pal. I'm 67 years old and have to lose 200 lbs. I just need encouragement from people who have actually lost weight counting calories. I tried WW again and worked for a while but had to quit because of this virus. I'm just more comfortable counting calories. Please anyone, let me know that this is doable with counting calories. Thanks for any encouragement.
@nordukes
Like the others the overwhelming bulk of my weight was lost via calorie counting and being in a calorie deficit most days. If you read the linked thread above and follow it back to my first year thread you will see some of the things I have found to be true, at least for me.
The mechanics of weight loss is always the same. It requires a calorie deficit. WW does this through a point system but if you logged your week in MFP alongside counting points you would see that you would be below your maintenance calories which means you were in a deficit.3 -
Thank you all for your responses. I feel encouraged just reading your comments. I've been trying to lose this weight for 42 years. It's such a struggle, but I do prefer counting calories over anything else I've tried. Congratulations to you for your weight loss and I am hoping I can do the same.2
