Looking for friends for motivation!

I am looking for some friends in weight loss for motivation and support. I am reposting from another thread :)

I am a married mom of two girls, and I travel about 600 kms a week for work. My starting weight about 12 years ago was 350+ lbs. When my oldest child was 9 months old my husband was killed in a car accident and my life completely changed. I went from stay-at-home mom to "oh my goodness what now." I knew that I needed to lose weight for so many reasons: so that I could play outside, go for walks, and swim at the beach with my little girl. I needed to be healthier for her and for me. I worked really hard for about 3 years to take off the weight and finally made it to 175 lbs. I gained/lost some weight each year but was very happy at 185-190 lbs.

Fast forward to today. I am remarried, I have a job I love, and have had the blessing of another child. While pregnant I gained weight, and I continued gaining. I am trying to be kind to myself - I grew a small human and kept her alive through complications. Weight gain does NOT mean I am less worthy, less beautiful, less important etc. But the time has come to take back some control and to take the weight off!!

Today I weigh 240.2 lbs. I am making small goals to start - 5 lbs a month. I would love to get back to my happy 185 lbs and then reevaluate if I can maintain a lower weight. I know that slow and steady is best for me. I have been tracking 20 days and feel good.

Being outside is my happy place. Even if I am just reading a book, I feel my anxieties slowly melt when I am outside. Although I have never been athletic, my husband has introduced me to many different outdoor activities that I can truly say I love - but I am definitely an amateur. I adore water - namely swimming and canoeing - but being a resident of northern Canada watersport season is quite short. This year I am learning to skate-ski and while I am absolutely the largest and slowest person on the track it is beautiful and fun. We managed 2 kms last week, the best we have done so far. I am lucky to have a home gym and workout about 3-4 days a week doing strength training and youtube yoga/exercise videos. Slow and steady progress toward being more fit so that I can enjoy being active with my kids.

Because I travel 3-4 days a week for work - this started when I was pregnant, as did the big weight gain - I have found it difficult to move my body everyday. And I struggle with avoiding take-out food while on the road at meal times. I have a plan and it seems to be working, now I need to stick with it!

If my story sounds even a bit like yours please send me a message/friend request! I know this journey will be easier with a few good friends to share the good, bad, and ugly of weight loss with.

Sara

Replies

  • secretgirl29
    secretgirl29 Posts: 19 Member
    I'm thinking my post was too long... sigh. Oh well. :D
  • conniewilkins56
    conniewilkins56 Posts: 3,391 Member
    I'm thinking my post was too long... sigh. Oh well. :D

    Posts are never too long....this group is here to support and motivate you....you can whine or vent or cry and no one judges you!...welcome to Larger Losers!...we are all here to lose weight and get healthy....each of us has a story to tell...you can share the good, bad and ugly....many are only beginning and some have lost a good amount of weight but some days all of us struggle....feel free to share as much as you like...there is a lot of good information in other posts so read thru some and comment wherever you want!

    Have a great day!
  • cremorna1
    cremorna1 Posts: 133 Member
    edited January 2021
    Welcome! Wow, your story is impressive. You are very strong to have gone through everything you mention. And traveling 600 km for work is A LOT. In my previous job I used to to 60 km a day (with traffic!) and I was just miserable, it left so little time for anything else. But it is what it is and you have the advantage that it's "just" 3-4 days a week, I can imagine that frees up some time.

    Your approach sounds great, slow and steady does it. I also started my WL at 230, so I am very close to you. My dh is not very athletic, nor am I, but we manage to get our steps in most days and call that a win. We try to focus on less sugar and white carbs (bread, pasta) and more veggies and (for me) more protein.

    Edit: Limiting carbs or sugar or getting more protein are not required for weight loss. Weight loss is just about calories in vs calories out.

    At the beginning, I also read books to change my mindset around eating. I used to be an "all or nothing" person: I am either "on a diet", or I would eat anything at any moment. Now I am more balanced, and realize I can have better and worse days, but try to be mindful of my eating most days.

    Looking forward to reading more about your journey!
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,981 Member
    oh honey, you havent' seen a long post until you see what I am capable of lol I've just been very distracted the last couple of months so I have been lurking more than anything. But get me wound up and I'll post a book! Connie will tell ya! lol :grin:

    being outside is good for me too, and I've found the only exercise I can keep up with continously is walking outside. which isn't possible this time of year......Cremora is right - the secret to losing weight is just eating less than your body needs - calories in versus calories out. Course, since our bodies are dymanic machines the factors that make up both sides of that equation are constantly varying, but the good news is you don't have to hit it perfect. From the advice I've gleaned from those most successful in losing a lot of weight, the best method is what works for you to keep that equation where you want it. If low carb helps keep you satiated and feel full and full better, than that's teh diet for you, but if you find it leaves you restricted, hungry, cranky, and tired, then don't force yourself to stick to it; forcing ourselves to do something we don't want to do or that makes us miserable is a surefire recipe for failure every time.

    My best advice is don't listen to the diet gurus and be patient and forgiving and less exacting. If restaurant and fast food is what is most convinient for your lifestyle, its okay to eat it and don't let guilt consume you. Factor it into your daily budget and enjoy that hamburger and fries! Want your full fat condiments? That's great! Factor it in and enjoy that slab of mayonaise! Want sugar and cream in your coffee? yup; its all okay; the key is moderation.

    I've learned that my head is my worst enemy in dieting and that the only way to win the battle with my mind is to look for ways to compromise. I don't tell myself "you can't have that; you're on a diet". I tell myself "yeah, you could have that donut, but it's 400 calories. Is it really worth it?" Over time, the decision that no, I could do way more with that 400 calories if I stick to a banana or even a smaller sweet cake that is half the calorie count has led to less cravings for the donuts. Other things I look for ways to shave calories off, such as no mayonaise or putting it on the side so I can control the amount, taking the cheese off salads, croutons off, getting a lower fat dressing or just using less, getting a happy meal sized fry instead of a medium, using unsweetened cashew milk in my coffee, learning to use the zero version of soft drinks when i want them, etc. Finding the work arounds so I can have what I'm craving and still save calories has been the biggest tactic in my successful weight loss.

    Now, though, I'm down to the point where I'm needing to eat less than the level that I find naturally satiating, which is necessitating the exercise. I lost over 100 lbs through diet alone, which was find until I hit that lower limit; now I need the exercise to earn back an extra couple hundred calories a day and am finding its amazing to me how much that makes a difference - especially since I'm in the time of year where I'm not getting that exercise in! Much hard to stick to my deficit alone.

    But feel free to jump in - long posts, short posts, lurking, posting every day - we're here and we understand :) Bad news, good news, successes, pit falls, most of us have been there and are still going there. Your body is tricky and just when you think you've got it down pat, it will surprise you, so it is nice to have people who understand our unique challenges and to bounce ideas off of!
  • conniewilkins56
    conniewilkins56 Posts: 3,391 Member
    I love your posts Bmeadows....so glad you jumped in here today!.....instead of “ Where’s Waldo “, where in the heck is “ Novus” lol
  • gewel321
    gewel321 Posts: 718 Member
    Let me say I have lost all my weight eating convince foods for the most part. We do lots of take out. And if it isn’t take out then it’s super easy meals that I throw in the oven out of the freezer section. If it fits then so be it!
  • joone_9
    joone_9 Posts: 152 Member
    @secretgirl29 - I actually love long posts and details. I’m usually more of a lurker so I read practically everything but trying to share more as it pushes me to be on here more and be more accountable to myself. I’m sending you a friend request..us northerners need to stick together!:) and @bmeadows380 ..love reading your posts...your thoughts seem so eloquently put!
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,981 Member
    @joone_9
    Thank you! Though I've really dropped off in recent months - too many distractions lately, or rather one big, lovely, wonderful distraction ;)
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,774 Member
    ... one big, lovely, wonderful distraction ;)

    So wonderful to read this!!!!!!! <3

  • FitByFifty1970
    FitByFifty1970 Posts: 127 Member
    I have been around this page for over 18 months though I fade in and out I'm making an effort to be more engaged here.
    I read your post and only can say you've done this before successfully so you know you can do it. Keep remembering that!