Feeling bad about my body
adrianaflowers1999
Posts: 5 Member
So, I am a female, 22, 5'1, and 142 pounds. I am supposedly overweight but not like at risk, but I am not where I want to be either. I have been slowly trying to lose the weight and get to around 125-130. I succeed for a bit, but went back to 142. I have body image issues and I feel like I am fat. I feel like I can't do much. I slip up sometimes. But I am generally healthy. COVID hasn't helped.
How do I not lose motivation and not feel bad about myself
How do I not lose motivation and not feel bad about myself
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Replies
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You need to not rely on motivation, mostly. Just do small changes and see what small things you can change. Pick one thing that is better and feels fairly easy. Add nothing else until you've got that one thing down. Often when we feel bad about ourselves we want all the changes RIGHT NOW. So we do a total diet overhaul, add a lot of exercise, try to get enough water, cut out all the sugar - whatever, we do lots of very big things. That danged near 100% of the time will fall apart.
As for not feeling bad about yourself... probably setting yourself up for success with small changes will help some. because you'll succeed instead of being caught in a cycle of trying to do way more than anyone could all at once, and then predictably failing to do all the things, and feeling bad about yourself for... failing at doing all the things at once.
Just... dial it back. Make one small change. ONE. Add 100 steps to your day or sub a calorie heavy condiment for a lighter calorie one, or decide you're going to get enough protein every day (without restricting other things). reduce your calories by ONE hundred (not 100 on top of MFP deficit, but 100 calories off maintaining). ONE THING. Celebrate doing that every day you do it. Once you've done it without effort and that's habit you don't have to work at, pick something else.13 -
^^QFT. I'm a big believer in small things done consistently. I truly believe it is the only way we ever change something big.4
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@wunderkindking - these are very wise words.
@ adrianaflowers1999 - you can do this! Just the fact you are signed up for MFP and speaking up here is a victory! We are all just doing little things over and over with good intentions....5 -
My therapist had me practice just sitting with the emotion I’m feeling and focusing on it and breathing into it to (to release it) to learn how to physically process emotions instead of reacting to them.
Let me tell you it’s not easy, but sometimes taking the meaning we embed in the emotion away is all we need to do for it to lose power.
It’s also helpful to know there’s a mind body connection. So if you take care of yourself physically it can often make an impact on the thoughts you’re having.
If I feel tired or depressed my go to is to walk or stretch, or even watch a sad movie which makes me cry a lot of that pain away. Be careful with that though cause it’s better to learn how to manage your emotions without intensifying them first. That’s my last resort if I’m feeling awful and just need some pain relief from my emotions.
Oh and don’t forget coming on this community to give advice!! That can make you feel great and help you relate to people to fill up the hole that comes from self beat up.
Finally the last thing I like to add is faking a habit. This is my technique I use when I’m like in the pits and want to make sure I don’t stay there. A lot of my bad mental cycles when I was younger came from being mean to myself for not exercising or from eating poorly. The way I mitigated that was writing a very small but achieveable activity that I could muster to count for that day. It could be minute, like ten push-ups, but that would count as my exercise and I could then check it off.
That would help me to fight against my mean old brain to say, hey I did it beyotch. You can’t yell at me anymore.
At the end of the day, you know this is a life long journey and since you don’t have any major health issues you can take your time!8 -
Lots of good advice here for the how part of the question, as in 'How do I stop hating my body?' I don't have much to add, but can speak to the 'why?' of it: You DON'T want to be 40 and realize how much time and energy you spent feeling bad about your body. Few things can sap your energy or enjoyment of the best things in life like a low body image. It's hard to accept oneself, I know, but find a way to do it sooner rather than later so you don't look back and realize how much time you wasted because you couldn't see that you were good enough all along. You'll get there--I have faith in you!6
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Just recently it was the final in football over here. I had planned pizzas, so much flatbread, dessert, and lots of beer. Sounds great but I was dreading it because of the calories.
Out of curiosity, I put the calories into my diary ahead of time and I could see I was going to clock 2500. My daily goal is 1400 to lose a measly 0.25 of a pound a week! I looked down at my cellulite covered muffin top stomach, and my textured thighs and thought "Its just one day, I'll be ok"
Up until this point, I've spent the entire year trying to diet after rapid weight gain from quitting smoking, and I've never been hungrier in my life! Rapid weight gain also covered me in cellulite and I'd never had it in those places before, and I'm not adjusting to it well at all.
With the calories in mind, I got some weed instead of beer and smoked it with a pipe. I know I shouldn't have but I didn't want to be sober for the match and bonus, I got to save calories. I also decided to cook half a pizza and if I was hungry at halftime I'd cook the other half with the flatbread. When half time comes I just ate the dessert and it was EASY for me. Not the strain of feeling deprived that I normally feel. (That shows how much I hate the cellulite)
Since then I have been filling in the food diary with what I think I'm going to eat during the day and night, and it keeps having the same effect! The past few days, I've found exercising so much easier because I'm motivated to work for earning those calories back. Seeing them in advance has done that. It doesn't feel like an effort now, it feels like an achievement that is actually in reach.
Not only have I worked out more I've also eaten less and I can feel the weight dropping off of me. I've lost that constantly starving thing I was worried might be a medical condition just a week ago. I've been working out so much, last night I couldn't stay awake long enough to eat dinner. That is motivation on a scale I've never seen! I need to eat earlier if I do that much again, lesson learned. Don't want to lose muscle mass and feel weak. But still.. wow at me, who even am I?
It just amazes me how one simple change to the way I write up my calorie intake, completely changed my psychological reaction to eating and exercising. I've gone from hungry all the time, a constant sense of guilt and dread around food, and too tired to move, to absolutely fine on both scores. Worth a try?
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Thank you for sharing . Your honesty and openness is inspiring . We are all in this together . Sometimes we all can get pretty down on ourselves for not meeting our goals or for slipping or simply for choosing to be still . There is success in all those things . We learn from our mistakes . When you "slip" as you state give yourself grace and get back on track when you feel ready. Being still allows us to calm our nervous system, self- soothe and empower ourseleves to reflect on what we are working through. You are doing the best you can and that will always be enough . You are beautiful and enough. Body issues , image can stem from so many different factors. Sometimes we can benefit from speaking to a health professional to get to the root cause. When I was very young , maybe 10-13 my parents would restrict food to ensure we (as children) didn't put on excess weight . This was so very wrong of them . This caused me to fear eating too much , made me worry about weight at such an early tender age . It brought on insecurities over the way I looked through my high school years. Over the years, I learned to be kind, gentle and patient with myself as I learned to embrace different aspects of myself that at one point brought me insecurities . I did this by making healthy choices and working with a counselor to understand "Cognitive behavior therapy". Continue to make healthy choices in your life, journal your thoughts and feeling and reflect on them . Celebrate all your small and big successes . Try writing positive affirmations daily about yourself and your goals . If you have to say them out loud. As you begin to develop a consistent healthy mindset , you will begin to let go of the negative self talk . Hope this helps ..
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At the moment I do not have anything to add except that reading all of your thoughts and ideas on how to handle "feeling bad about my body" has really put things into perspective for me. Ya'll just keep doing what you're doing. I will definitely try some of these out. Keep the positive vibes coming!!2
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I think you need to change your thought processes. Focus on what is good about you. Every one of us has something special or exceptional about us. Is your body strong? Is your mind strong? I had Vida for a year. We learned about nutrition. When you get up in the morning, say Good Morning to yourself. Then think about what you intend to eat for the day. Don't think about weighing 142. Think about eating proper for that day. Then tomorrow do it again. Logging in your food every day will be an eye opener.2
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Agreed with the other thoughts here. Consistency is THE single most helpful thing! What is one thing you can work on changing? Then nail that. For me, I started with developing an awareness of how much protein I was (or really wasn't!) eating and then increasing that dramatically. I then started just committing to going to the gym. I did cardio for a long time because I was intimidated to walk into the "bro" space but once I forced myself to just start lifting, the changes really started happening and honestly, it was a mental challenge for me more than a physical challenge. Cultivating the belief that I belong there and I can do this and loving myself even the tiniest bit to work towards small changes that have resulted in BIG changes over the years. Thinking of this as a new way of life and cutting out people who did not serve me or who had habits that didn't align with the direction I wanted to go in. I still struggle with loving my self---my dad was addicted to porn and I still feel like I need to look perfect...it's a mind f**k because noone is perfect! Just some people have airbrushing and perfect lighting and extreme diets and such to help. Stay here in this community and know you are supported! Do one thing! One thing and keep building! YOU GOT THIS! 1
