"SOBER OCTOBER"...and beyond?

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  • SunnyDays930
    SunnyDays930 Posts: 1,577 Member
    Happy Halloween!

    Ruby Red that was beautifully said.

    I'm proud of all of us. We continue to show up. We care about our health and well being. We are doing our best.
  • globalhiker
    globalhiker Posts: 1,730 Member
    I'm super proud of everyone and thankful also. We are wonderful. Another NA day today for me.
    My goal is to grow stronger mentally and not discount the huge impacts that blood sugar and diet and work-life balance and hormonal imbalances and sleep and cortisol levels all have on mood. I want to laugh more, stress less.

    Happy Halloween!
  • renae149
    renae149 Posts: 591 Member
    @RubyRed427 on your first post, keep doing what you are doing because it is working for you! You are doing great! As for your second post, I agree, you can't hold onto the past. Learn from it and move on. Make your amends now, you never know what tomorrow brings. Life's too short!

    @globalhiker can't totally relate to your post! I am ready to be happy more days than not. Or just caring about things in general. We will get there!

    A goal for me is to "stack" my healthy habits. When I hit retirement (still have a few years), I want to be able to travel and be active on those trips. I have worked hard for many years. I deserve to enjoy the spoils.

    So proud of everyone here continuing down this path! We are making better lives for ourselves!

    Happy Friday!
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,410 Member
    Day 40 AF

    Next goal: AF until my blood work will be on Nov. 8th.
    On Halloween, I typically drank a bunch to celebrate the occasion.
    I don't know what I was celebrating!?
    This year, I drank a 00 Heineken and watched Charlie Brown. We had more children this year come to our door. It was a pleasant evening.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,410 Member
    @renae149 Happy Friday! Yes, we are stacking. When you're AF, your eating habits improve. You are able to exercise more without a hangover. So many positives.

    @globalhiker Laugh more, stress less!! That's what I want too.
    @SunnyDays930 Have a great weekend!
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,410 Member
    @Walela617 How was Halloween? Did you get a lot of trick or treaters?

    @xbowhunter I know you said you stopped counting the days. That is a relief, right? Wishing you a productive weekend!
  • xbowhunter
    xbowhunter Posts: 1,309 Member
    TGIF my friends.

    Have a wedding to attend tomorrow. I will have fun watching everyone poison themselves then drive home sober and alert. Good times ahead! lol :)

    have a great weekend. Stay strong and prosper! :)
  • Walela617
    Walela617 Posts: 764 Member
    edited November 1
    @RubyRed427, Sorry to hear you're having cold symptoms! I hope you are feeling better today and that you recover quickly so you can enjoy your weekend and get lots of healing rest!

    Love those healthy benefits @renae149! I hope that happens for me, but first, I've got to avoid the lapses and become consistent!

    Hi everyone, ~HAPPY NOVEMBER!~

    I must confess that I did NOT arrive "safe at home base" yesterday! 😔 I foolishly decided to drop in on a friend who is a bartender at one of my favorite "haunts" because she always dresses up for Halloween and it's really fun how this place decorates every year. I explained that I was just popping in but wasn't budgeted to have my former "usual", 'Gin Martini Service' with three, blue cheese stuffed olives (equal to two+ drinks); so of course she insisted on "comping me" (on the house) and then...another friend who works there brought out an order of shoestring fries. THEN another friend came in and bought me a beer... YOU get the picture! I had one more (16 oz.) beer after that before I took myself home, rather disappointed in myself although I had a good time overall.

    Soooo... Here I am at Day 001 (again). >Sigh< I must keep trying until I get it right. (In my case I have to count the days; at least until in confident that I have a secure handle on the situation.) Even though today is "Give up your Shoulds Day, I an aware that this is one "should" I cannot give up! I should stop consumption of ALL alcoholic beverages. I must keep going! So for today, I am:

    Safe at home base! 💗

    11/01: Day 001 AF

    Have a nice weekend everyone!

    💕Carole
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,410 Member
    @Walela617 I've done that before, too. You had good intentions, stopped to say hi, and wanted to feel a bit festive on the holiday. Dust yourself off and have a great AF weekend. <3
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,410 Member
    globalhiker wrote: »
    I read some Rachel Hart article about counting AF days vs not counting. I really like what she writes in general but my take-away is to follow what works. I may transition to counting months and track mastering special events AF, but I still want to count "something" and the act of counting gives me motivation.

    I was AF for many months to a point I decided I didn't need to check into MFP anymore. That lasted a month, maybe 6 weeks and pretty quickly was a disaster and I found myself in the bad habit again. Everyone is different but I know based on my own experiences what I need to be successful.

    The best plan is your plan.

    I like the dopamine kick I feel when I check my AF count on my app. I like "checking in" on the app and reading or writing in my journal. I will keep counting. As the days add up, it makes me happy when I see if I "earned" any medals on the app. But sometimes I feel counting days can be daunting and even stressful. But for me, the positives are greater than the negatives.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,410 Member
    @xbowhunter
    @sunndays930
    Both of you are going to a wedding this weekend sober.

    Sunday morning will be sweet!
  • renae149
    renae149 Posts: 591 Member
    @Walela617 I keep thinking of "the little engine that could" when I think of you! Every day that you are AF is better than drinking every day. You will get there!!

    @globalhiker you wrote that you you quit checking in on MFP, I did that with the food thing and now I am 90lbs heavier than my lowest point. I got back on MFP in January, even paying for the premium. i have stuck with checking in, just not to log food. That will be my next goal! I am logging food at least for the first 3 days for the week. The McDonald's trips have slowed down, still need that fix about once a week, but it's mental not physical now. The bag of plain Lay's that was daily, I couldn't tell you the last time I did that. I have started meal prep for myself again. I just have to stick with what I bring and not think I need to get something sweet from the vending area. It's all habits that I have to break. Again, one thing, one day at a time!

    Enjoy your weddings @xbowhunter and @SunnyDays930 !! And your Sundays after!! Here's to another productive Saturday to all!
  • SunnyDays930
    SunnyDays930 Posts: 1,577 Member
    @renae149 I totally agree about checking in on MFP. I lost a bunch of weight then stopped logging it under "check-in" and it slowly has crept back up.I am now writing it all down again, the food, the weight, etc. I think with the no alcohol I should at least be able to lose a couple of lbs. If I pair that with actually trying portion control and mindfully watching my sweets, it should help tremendously.
  • globalhiker
    globalhiker Posts: 1,730 Member
    edited November 2
    62 days AF done :)

    Having a party today. I stocked up on my favorite AF drinks. I let the guests know I am not drinking and let them know "don't bring anything", I have lots of drinks. There's over 100 of various beers for them if they wish to help themselves (I don't like beer). In other words, I made sure all temptations are not in my house or backyard.

    I am proud of you guys going to weddings! I still have some sensitivity to "triggers", so it may take me a few more months of AF to get to the point where triggers are no longer triggers anymore. But today they still are, so I have to plan very carefully.

    @Walea617 I can relate to your story about your friends just bringing you french fries and drinks, I get a similar treatment x100 when visiting relatives, like the pressure is really on! I think we need to re-play the story to how we would have liked for it to be. In other words, we envision it how we want it, mentally agree that is how it will be, and follow it. In other words, own the plan & own the outcome, and be in charge. I am sorta following this mental game with my party today.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,410 Member
    I was on some website and it read just how aging drinking can be. In the last 41 days AF, I've noticed dramatic improvement in my nails. They were always splitting. Now, they're strong and those "half moons" are really noticeable. I have a friend who invests in face lifts, botox, and lots of other expensive skin treatments. She also exercises daily (has a personal trainer, too) and eats well. But she drinks a lot, and I've observed over the last few years, her face and neck are showing that.If just for vanity sake, I am happy I don't have my usual swollen eyes, puffy face, bloated belly, and dull eyes anymore.

  • globalhiker
    globalhiker Posts: 1,730 Member
    2 months AF, 2 days. I agreed with myself I'll start counting the month and the days. My goal now is to rack up months under my belt. Long term, I'd like to stretch AF to summer of 2025. At least this gives a longer range goal and I can then re-assess at that time.

    I like the mental strength AF life gives me. And, the skin on my neck looks the same as it did 30 years ago and I put nothing on it.

    So very true: especially after 55, whatever we eat or drink or do, and how much, TOTALLY shows up on our bodies.

    AF= Beauty, Wealth, Health, Happiness and it's all true.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,410 Member
    I'd like to get to two months AF and then just count months. I have been tempted a few times at various events this past week. But I know alcohol adds no value to a perfectly nice time. I still had a very enjoyable time at a party last night.

    Husband misses that I am not drinking with him. I was his drinking buddy. That's what we like to do- meet after work for drinks and appetizers. Our credit card bill was lower this month. I have been cooking instead of going out for happy hours or dinner. No afternoons at a bar watching football. No happy hours with wine and cocktails. All adds up.

    Day 42 AF
  • Walela617
    Walela617 Posts: 764 Member
    edited November 3
    Good morning everyone,

    @SunnyDays930, I have been there - just plan to have one and then, "Oh, well..." For me, there is no such thing as "just one". That's okay; You've.been doing great! Just pick up where you left off. You GOT this, and you're never alone!

    @RubyRed427 and @globalhiker, I like the idea of counting months, once I get a handle on things. In my case, I think I'll wait until I have the first year under my belt, because I still feel very vulnerable right now.

    I will post now, since I'm not going out today and I never have alcohol at home:

    11/03: Day 003 AF

    Enjoy your day, I will check back in tomorrow once I get home.

    💗Carole
  • Walela617
    Walela617 Posts: 764 Member
    @SunnyDays930, that's wonderful! It's so nice that you're husband and his friend were so supportive💕👍
  • globalhiker
    globalhiker Posts: 1,730 Member
    Month 2, Day 3 AF done. I like to read reddit posts from people who have made it past year 1 AF and what happened in the months before it. Curious to know how the successful ones did it. Lots of recurring themes - those with over a year really expressed huge satisfaction with their better quality of life and happiness yet agreed with others that the months in that first year were "up and down" with adjusting as their minds improved. While the journey was similar for many, each month progression was different. Many admitted to multiple attempts at AF in their earlier years with a few lapses and relapses being part of the typical journey. Many concluded the problem being not the alcohol but the illogical way they thought about it, the romanticization, that really needed to be addressed.


    AF= Beauty, Wealth, Health, Happiness and it's all true.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,410 Member
    Congrats on two months + 2 days! @globalhiker

    I like your comments. I read Reddit, too.
    I am always saddened when I read a post that says I was sober for ten or fifteen years and went back to drinking and now am trying to be sober again. I feel so sorry for that person; it is truly a struggle to get back to sobriety in those cases.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,410 Member
    43AF but time is dragging.
    I have blood tests this Friday, and I think my husband thinks I'll go back to drinking. But I really don't want to break this streak. It's my longest in four years. I feel so good in the mornings! I don't want to go back, drink, and then try to quit again. It's triple times harder to get traction again.

    I also read when you go back to drinking, you pick up right where you left off. Nothing has changed. Happy Monday, friends!
  • globalhiker
    globalhiker Posts: 1,730 Member
    @RubyRed427 from what you are writing, sounds like there is zero reason to go back to drinking, for you and me both. Like really zero. We need to keep challenging our thoughts. What can we do that is really fun with that dragging time so it just doesn't drag anymore?
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,410 Member
    @globalhiker You're right! Alcohol has zero benefits to my life.

    I did bring up some craft items from my basement. I will get back to what I used to enjoy as a kid. Painting, crafting, scrapbooking, journaling......
  • renae149
    renae149 Posts: 591 Member
    @RubyRed427 and @globalhiker keep going! You are both great inspiration to me and I'm sure the others on here. At the very least, you want to see how the effects of AF has on your body! You got this!!

    I am not a good housekeeper at all! Never have been. I figured once the kids were done with sports I would have time to clean more. But then we started drinking...

    Not that it's fun, but I do clean a little every night now. My house is still not spotless, but it is much more picked up and kept up than it has ever been. I used to be an avid quilter. I have brought up a couple that just need finished as well. If I can get my sleeping pattern into a more "normal" routine I may make it up past 8pm! :) I also spent the weekend working on my son's house with him. It was great to have the energy to help him out when he asked as he doesn't ask much.

    I keep going. One day at a time. The weekdays are a breeze. Just waiting for the day that the weekends are just as easy...

    Happy day to all!

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