Name: Ashley
Age: 29
Pronouns: she/her
Location: Ohio, USA
Occupation: Chemical Engineer and Certified Personal Trainer (since November 2023!)
Height: 5'7"
Highest Weight: 234lbs
Current Weight: 183lbs
Lowest Weight: 6lb 10oz (August 28th, 1995)
Lowest Non-Infant Weight: 155lbs (although there were some heavy ED vibes, so I wouldn't romanticize that time of my life too much)
Medical Diagnosis: Multiple Sclerosis

I grew up in a Clean Plates Club™ household, with the idea that food could stuff down any emotion and mask any discomfort. This led to being bullied as a child, expecting people to be mean to me in middle and high school (and then being mean to people first so they didn't have the chance), having an identity crisis in college, and being scared (ahem) poopless after a doctor told me I was on the edge of being pre-diabetic.

I used this fear to catapult me into fitness, starting with indoor cycling classes. I expanded into trying out OrangeTheory, Barry's Bootcamp, F45, and numerous smaller boutique fitness studios. Eventually, I landed on a nice gym that offers group fitness but also allows you to use their equipment for your own personal use. That, combined with having a personal training session once a week, leading three group fitness classes a week, and dropping into group fitness studios from time to time, has led me to have a balanced fitness routine.

In the middle of me getting my (ahem) stuff together, November 2019, I had my first major Multiple Sclerosis relapse and could not feel half of my body. At the time, I had no diagnosis and did not know what was going on outside of the sensation of pins and needles on my left side. After playing a rousing game of Musical Neurologists™, I found a doctor who did not believe my condition to be severe anxiety. He ordered an MRI and a spinal tap, and I was on my way. 14 vials of blood, 2 MRIs, and one spinal tap later, I had a diagnosis. My symptoms are mostly manageable, and my active lifestyle along with reasonably healthy eating has allowed me to continue on with my life without much interruption. My next MRI is in a week, and I hope it shows no further deterioration, as there is currently no cure for MS.

And now? Now I'm focused on building muscle, maintaining my cardiovascular health, and holding back the icky side effects of the autoimmune disorder. Losing weight would be fantastic, but it's not my focus anymore. I've also become a certified personal trainer, with the intent to make fitness more accessible for those with chronic illness. Oh boy, do I have some new fun facts bouncing around in my brain.

APRIL - The plan for this month is to find somewhere to take my personal training certification. My original lead did not pan out, for a myriad of reasons, so I am back to the drawing board.

MAY - I reached out to a local group fitness studio and threw my hat into the ring for becoming an instructor. Formal training won't start until the end of May, so I have the rest of the month to take classes and observe where I can to learn the basics.

JUNE - I edited this intro while going through instructor training, stay tuned for updates!

JULY - My instructor audition is July 6th! Wish me luck!

AUGUST - I have officially passed my audition and began teaching classes last week. It's going to be a fun new adventure for me.

NOVEMBER - I have been leading classes for several months now, and have a newfound appreciation for yoga classes. These classes have boosted my confidence in myself and challenged me to modify exercises for a large variety of different folks. I am really glad I bet on myself and took the risk to audition, and I can't wait to see where it takes me next.

Number of Spin Classes Attended: 1200
Deadlift Personal Best: 185 lbs
Squat Personal Best: 160 lbs
Fastest Mile Run: 6m 11s
Percent Body Fat: 28%
Times "Started Over": Too High to Count

• I am a moderator for F2F, so if something doesn't look right, you can let me know and I'll take care of it.
• As a chemical engineer and certified personal trainer, I am VERY familiar with a lot of the chemicals we put into our bodies, and numbers are my friends. I also do research for a living. You want facts? I'm your girl. I am always (ALWAYS) happy to explain the science behind something.
• I used to have a blog on MFP before they removed the blog feature. I didn't save everything I ever wrote, but you can find some of it here: LINK
• I am an open book. You want to know about life with MS? Just ask. You want to know when my last bowel movement was? Just ask. You want my maple donut cookie recipe? Just ask. There is not a single topic I am unwilling to chat about - all it takes is asking the right questions.

My weight has been slowly increasing over the past year. And even though I know there's been quite a bit of muscle growth, and plenty of sources of water retention, it's getting to me.

In an attempt to quell my anxieties, I ordered a new scale.

I know what you're thinking. Obsessing over my weight even more will not help.

But that's not why I ordered a new scale. This new scale has a couple built in features I'm excited to try out, tracking a dozen more metrics than a standard scale, including BMI, body fat percentages, muscle mass, etc. I am hoping (HOPING) that these new numbers will help me re-center myself and trust that this slow process is working for me, that my plan to build muscle to increase my basal metabolic rate (BMR) while losing fat from a slight caloric deficit has been benefitting me.

Because sure, my BMI claims I'm overweight. It's been decades since I haven't been overweight. But I know I'm more muscular than I've ever been at 180lbs, and I've been here several times before. And I know I can do far more than I ever could previously.

So, it's going to be okay. But my brain needs a few more numbers, just a little more data, before it believes that.

UPDATE - OCTOBER 2023: The new scale was incredibly helpful. Here's what I posted soon after testing it out:

UPDATE - November 2023: I still have a couple issues with the numbers I've been seeing, but the slight shifts from day to day have aligned reasonably well with my eating/exercise habits, so I can't complain too much.

UPDATE - December 2023: I've been out of control with my eating recently, but I think I've discovered several of my triggers to overeat, and I have a plan to regain control. It's just a matter of doing the damn thing.

UPDATE - February 2024: My weight has mostly stabilized, so now I'm focusing on the little details and paying attention to their impact on my weight, essentially treating my body like a science experiment. Stay tuned.

UPDATE - November 2024: It's been a while, but my weight has not shifted much in a while. My proportions, however, absolutely have. My personal trainer and I took progress photos yesterday and it is clear I have put on a bit of muscle and lost a similar amount of fat. Consider this a friendly reminder that the number on the scale is not the whole picture, and there are a million different metrics to track progress through.