Tueday Joke 2
BIG_Lew
Posts: 513 Member
There are only eleven times in history where the "F" word has been considered acceptable for use:
11.What the **** do you mean we're sinking? - Capt. E.J Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912 10.What the **** was that? - Mayor of Hiroshima, 1945
9. Where did all these ****ing Indians come from? - Custer, 1877 8. Any ****ing idiot could understand that. - Einstein, 1938 7. It does so ****ing look like her! - Picasso, 1926 6. How the **** did you work that out? - Pythagoras, 126 BC 5. You want WHAT on the ****ing ceiling? - Michelangelo, 1566 4. Scattered ****ing showers, my *kitten*! - Noah, 4314 BC 3. Aw c'mon. Who the **** is going to find out? - Bill Clinton, 1999 2. Geez, I didn't think they'd get this ****ing mad. - Saddam Hussein, 2003 1. "Who the **** is at the door?" -Osama Bin Laden, 2011
11.What the **** do you mean we're sinking? - Capt. E.J Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912 10.What the **** was that? - Mayor of Hiroshima, 1945
9. Where did all these ****ing Indians come from? - Custer, 1877 8. Any ****ing idiot could understand that. - Einstein, 1938 7. It does so ****ing look like her! - Picasso, 1926 6. How the **** did you work that out? - Pythagoras, 126 BC 5. You want WHAT on the ****ing ceiling? - Michelangelo, 1566 4. Scattered ****ing showers, my *kitten*! - Noah, 4314 BC 3. Aw c'mon. Who the **** is going to find out? - Bill Clinton, 1999 2. Geez, I didn't think they'd get this ****ing mad. - Saddam Hussein, 2003 1. "Who the **** is at the door?" -Osama Bin Laden, 2011
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Good one!!!
Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest!?" Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.
Johnny didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, "Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to heaven." Johnny thinks that's neat and asks no more questions.
A few weeks later, Johnnys' dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's dying!!" His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?" "Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommys' balloons and she's screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!"0 -
There u go, post more jokesGood one!!!
Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest!?" Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.
Johnny didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, "Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to heaven." Johnny thinks that's neat and asks no more questions.
A few weeks later, Johnnys' dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's dying!!" His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?" "Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommys' balloons and she's screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!"0 -
A Blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, "Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident."
The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing, "That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!"
Confused, he says, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving and there is always that risk involved."
After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing asks, "How many is a Brazilian?"0 -
LmfaoA Blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, "Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident."
The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing, "That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!"
Confused, he says, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving and there is always that risk involved."
After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing asks, "How many is a Brazilian?"0
