Does it matter? Race?

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Replies

  • MiaOrange
    MiaOrange Posts: 151 Member
    My mom's grandma was Irish, my kids are mixed. I grew up in a small town up north in Michigan. I was usually the only person of color from Kindergarten - 12th grade. No one would date me at all. Now, I live in Pacific NW. There's a lot of racism and prejudice here. I also attend med school. People make a lot of rude comments to me, even strangers in stores make comments about me and my kids. It sucks! Even outside of my kids school where I park when I drop them off I've seen the police come up behind me multiple times and wonder if someone called because they were scared. I've even had a lady come out of her house down the driveway and down the street, knock on the car window and ask what I'm doing here? People can be so weird.

    Other people I've know for years will come up to me and start talking ghetto to me and I look at them like, "What did you say to me?" One friend was using all this slang on my facebook page and when I saw her later she said I'm cool, I had a boyfriend that was black 20 years ago... I'm thinking why in the world is she saying this to me?

    I have not dated much at all my whole life, but it is usually someone outside my race, because of the environment I'm in. I wish people could just look at everyone as an individual not just the color of our skin :(

    Actually, I was also in a black neighborhood and a lady did the same thing, knocked on my window told me to move my car away from her house...
  • Lozze
    Lozze Posts: 1,917 Member
    "Your so pretty for a black girl" or "Your complexion is pretty for a dark skinned girl"

    People said that on MFP? But that's just so blatantly racist, why weren't they reported?
  • freezee2010
    freezee2010 Posts: 16 Member
    Whoa!!! Pretty for a black girl? Seriously? I've heard of that being said before but nobody has ever said that to me. That's CRAZY!!!
  • freezee2010
    freezee2010 Posts: 16 Member
    Oh btw I was in an interracial marriage for over 10 years. Seriously doubt that I'll ever do that again.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    This thread gets sadder and sadder. People should just be able to like who they like and not have to worry about race but I guess it still matters too much in our society to make that possible. Adding this to my checklist for why I plan to move to another country someday. Maybe there's one out there somewhere where everybody can just get along.
  • mona24523
    mona24523 Posts: 100
    I was raised to beleive you shouldn't date outside of your race. It has taken me along time but I do not beleive this. People should date whoever makes them happy. Aslong as it is a heathy relationship it shouldn't matter about race. I have not dated outside of my race (actually haven't dated anyone for a couple of years), but I wouldn't hesitate to date outside of my race if I found someone I clicked with.
    I have two teenagers who I have always told it didn't matter what race someone was as long as they treated them with respect and made them happy. My son actually likes hispanic girls, which is fine with me as long as he is happy.
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
    "Your so pretty for a black girl" or "Your complexion is pretty for a dark skinned girl"

    People said that on MFP? But that's just so blatantly racist, why weren't they reported?

    No one has never said that on MFP to me. I was saying that people has said that to me. If anything people on MFP has been real kind to me and say nice things to me.
  • Race does matter.

    However, let me qualify that. I live in Northern Arkansas. The town I live in is 98% white. I was raised in southern California- in a very racially mixed area. I didn't even notice color until moving here. I don't notice color when I fall in love or am attracted to someone. However- I see how my racially mixed students are treated, and my heart breaks for them. I don't want my child to have to go through that. Therefore- IF I was to marry someone of another race- I would insist that we move to a less racist area first. And I am extreamly close to my family and really do love the area I'm in (with that one glaring exception of course)- so I'd have to be 100% sure this guy was the one and only guy I could never live with out.
  • melg126
    melg126 Posts: 378
    Personally I don't think race matters. I have dated latinos, caucasian, African American, Asian... a mix!!! haha

    I'm equal opportunity... but I tend to be more attracted to men who are lighten than me. :wink:
  • Begood03
    Begood03 Posts: 1,259 Member
    Race is not an issue to me, as long as you are attracted to each other.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    I think it can matter culturally and/or religiously, some differences are too big! However, opposites can attract so if those differences dont matter and you just click then race isnt an issue. And obviously there need to be attraction :bigsmile:
  • jenlb99
    jenlb99 Posts: 213 Member
    To me, race does matter for dating purposes, simply because I only find myself sexually attracted to white men. Would I consider dating a man who didn't fit that criteria? Absolutely -- if I felt those "tingles" for him...I just haven't yet.

    I've ALWAYS had a preference for blue-eyed men, and up until recently, I've also had a preference for light-coloured hair. Flip through my sketch and colouring books from the time I was 3 and up, and you'll see a very specific pattern -- short little me with dark curly hair, and a big boy with light hair and bright blue eyes.

    I've been called full-out racist because I'm not attracted to non-white men, which I think is absurd. I'm no more racist than my half Asian / half black sister (I'm white, she's adopted) who will only date white men, or my half black / half white sister (she's adopted) who will only date black men.

    If I'm racist for only dating white men, then heterosexuals are sexist for only dating the opposite sex...and homosexuals are sexist for only dating their own. lol
  • jenlb99
    jenlb99 Posts: 213 Member
    "You're so pretty for a black girl." LMAO What a ridiculous statement. OP, you're beautiful, period. Lovely skin, pretty smile, etc.
  • BlondeLisa1
    BlondeLisa1 Posts: 106 Member
    You are lovely, no qualifiers!

    I've had a few casual romantic relationships where cultural differences got in the way of it developing into something more. These guys also were of a different race than me. It's made me gun shy about those races but I would never turn someone away I was attracted to or loved because of the color of his skin.
  • missbethea
    missbethea Posts: 280 Member
    I think it depends on who/what you are attracted to.

    I don't set out thinking "man I'm totally going to go after some gorgeous white dude" or "I feel like a black guy today".

    Some guys are just attractive, and some aren't. I generally find myself attracted to more white men than I do men of other races, but I've found men of all races good looking or attractive at one point in time or another.

    I don't mind if different races date/marry/etc. I have a lot of different races in my family, via marriage, and I love them all dearly. It is harder, I think, to be able to date someone of a different race if you're getting a lot of opposition- but if you love each other, that's what matters.
  • Myslissa
    Myslissa Posts: 760 Member
    It says love they neighbor (not depending on color)

    Love all People. Sometimes find it hard to like the dumb one that say things like " you are pretty for a black girl"

    Other peoples children.
  • AmberMagdalena
    AmberMagdalena Posts: 461 Member
    I think it depends on who/what you are attracted to.

    I don't set out thinking "man I'm totally going to go after some gorgeous white dude" or "I feel like a black guy today".

    Some guys are just attractive, and some aren't. I generally find myself attracted to more white men than I do men of other races, but I've found men of all races good looking or attractive at one point in time or another.

    I do not discriminate, when it comes to a date! I have literally dated pretty much every ethnicity of men. I am attracted to, what I am attracted to; similar interests, a nice smile, and intelligence. I have been in relationships with all white men (I am biracial), but I have dated all kinds of men.


    P.s. dated, like hung out with with the intention of an eventual relationship. I don't sleep around.
  • AmberMagdalena
    AmberMagdalena Posts: 461 Member
    My mom's grandma was Irish, my kids are mixed. I grew up in a small town up north in Michigan. I was usually the only person of color from Kindergarten - 12th grade. No one would date me at all. Now, I live in Pacific NW. There's a lot of racism and prejudice here. I also attend med school. People make a lot of rude comments to me, even strangers in stores make comments about me and my kids. It sucks! Even outside of my kids school where I park when I drop them off I've seen the police come up behind me multiple times and wonder if someone called because they were scared. I've even had a lady come out of her house down the driveway and down the street, knock on the car window and ask what I'm doing here? People can be so weird.

    Other people I've know for years will come up to me and start talking ghetto to me and I look at them like, "What did you say to me?" One friend was using all this slang on my facebook page and when I saw her later she said I'm cool, I had a boyfriend that was black 20 years ago... I'm thinking why in the world is she saying this to me?

    I have not dated much at all my whole life, but it is usually someone outside my race, because of the environment I'm in. I wish people could just look at everyone as an individual not just the color of our skin :(


    I don't know how you do it, lady. I would've left that place long ago! We have a lot of racism in the town where I live now,in western Pennsylvania but it's not THAT bad!!!
  • hope516
    hope516 Posts: 1,133 Member
    I don't care what color you are or anything as long as you cook me dinner and wash my clothes you have my :heart: ...:tongue:

    just kidding!!

    I really don't care though. I generally am attracted to Hispanic men...or tall, with dark hair (I have never been a fan of blondies)

    But I would never make race be a reason not to date someone...
  • Nope. Although honestly I'm not that attracted to Asian men but it doesn't mean that I'm not open for them because after all there's more than just the physical. Personality is what matters most for me.
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