I have found that people will say this is a deal breaker or that is a deal breaker but when it comes right down to it. If you aren't willing to compromise on some things you may end up alone for a very long time. I say this because nobody's perfect and those people with imperfections have deal breakers too and you may fit into their deal breaker category. Just don't rush to judge people because they smoke or aren't a christian, people can and will change if given the opportunity and you could miss out on something very special if you let your deal breakers get in the way.

JT

I've had deal breaker things that I've 'let go of' in past relationships...mostly things in the physical traits category, my own personal preferences. Though none of those relationships resulted in marriage, I can't say that I have regrets...one of those people has become a life-long friend, another has changed who I am today (for the better). Had I have been so rigid neither of those people would have made an impact on my life. I'm one of those people that believe that others come into your life for a reason or a season.

Of course, there are obvious deal breakers - cruelty, liars, substance abuse, ANY kind of abuse...things of that nature.

I'm amazed on how many people said smokers...up until recently (1-3-12) I've been a smoker. I started when I was 15 and I'll be 45 next month. The majority of the people I've dated or have been in relationships with were non smokers...they all took a chance on me which I find amazing because I really would not want to be with a smoker now.

It's nice to know what you do not want, but try to keep it somewhat flexible...you just never know. :flowerforyou:

As a representative of short guys at 5'6", I am happy to see that jobless is winning over height, lol.

Damn, you are tall! (I'm only 5'4")

Mine are smoking, drug-use and general illegal activity.

I'm amazed on how many people said smokers...up until recently (1-3-12) I've been a smoker. I started when I was 15 and I'll be 45 next month. The majority of the people I've dated or have been in relationships with were non smokers...they all took a chance on me which I find amazing because I really would not want to be with a smoker now.

For me at least, it's because cigarette smoke royally screws up my immune system and I often find myself sick after being exposed to cigarette smoke for too long. Too long being as short as 20-30 minutes.

My friends and I have this conversation all the time. Well, they are usually grilling me as I'm usually the only single one in the room : ) The older I get, the less deal breakers I have, but I'd say I have three considerations:

1) I have very little respect for joblessness due to laziness or lack of work ethic (in these times, many people don't have jobs due to the economy, so I'm willing to be supportive as long as I know he WANTS a job);

2) I will always have a dog. He doesn't need to love dogs, he just needs to accept that he will be living with one;

3) This one is weird but it stems from someone I knew who had this happen so I put it on the list. I do not want to pee (or worse) on you, nor do I want to be peed (or worse) upon.

A girl's got to have standards, no matter how old she's getting : )

I'm not too sure what my deal breakers are. I did come across one this past weekend. If you say you're going to go work out with me or join me in something active, which is very important to me, don't back out at the last minute i.e. I'm already at your house and you decide you were too tired to go. Damn that.

I try to keep an open mind when it comes to dating. However, I cannot date a guy without ambitions (no job, lives with mom, lazy, ect). Also, like others said….drug use is an absolute deal breaker. Lastly, I need someone who likes to have fun, enjoys life, and takes pleasure in being social once in a while!

1. Toothless
2. Jobless
3. doesn't like kids or dogs
4. does drugs
5. is shorter than 5'7
6. someone with no goals in life or no ambition to work towards them
7. liars/cheaters



sorry been single a long time so you find lots of deal breakers :laugh:

Height is not a deal breaker for me. I've dated and crushed on shorter guys than me and I'm not that tall (5'6).

I do want someone who is smart and can discuss politics, literature, philosophy... I've tried dating guys who were not that educated and found them boring. They don't have to be college educated, but do have to value knowledge and learning and all that awesome stuff, b/c I'm a bit of a nerd.

ladies...just out of curiosity....is there too tall?

No! I'm 5'4" and have yet to meet someone who was too tall. lol!! That said, I like short guys, especially if they're stocky.

What did I learn from that? Well, I still won't marry someone who smokes (because I react badly to smoke) but I *will* go out with someone who may, at first glance, appears to have a deal breaker, and withhold judgment after I've gotten to know him a little bit.

Very wise. :flowerforyou:

-negative ALL the time
-drugs/smokers <-- I just can't tolerate it personally
-non-communicators
-guys who aren't gentlemen like at all
-racists/very very stereotypical to the extreme
-lustful at first sight kind of guys <-- makes me sad how most guys like that always try to talk to me. I love classy, smart, gentlemen guys who see beauty and intelligence, not just my body.
-men who have the mindset of a boy

you could miss out on something very special if you let your deal breakers get in the way.

One of my favorite boyfriends was a guy who smoked (deal breaker), non-Christian (deal breaker), and had a tainted past (deal beaker). It only lasted a couple months, but when we entered the friend zone he taught me SO much about dating and tricks guys use, and even evaluated guys for me ;-)

Why did I even go out with him in the first place? Because he was h-o-t, he heavily pursued, and my friends reminded me that one date doesn't equal marriage: "You don't have to marry the guy, just let him treat you to a nice night out."

What did I learn from that? Well, I still won't marry someone who smokes (because I react badly to smoke) but I *will* go out with someone who may, at first glance, appears to have a deal breaker, and withhold judgment after I've gotten to know him a little bit.

very well said.

What is the one characteristic that you just can't overlook in potential dates.?

............for me I can't date a guy shorter than me........same height is reallllly pushing it

Same, but since I'm only 5'1 it's easy enough to avoid.:laugh:
Though they can't be hyper, and no meanies!:ohwell:

It might be worthy of its own thread but am curious if anyone has ever explored the psychological reasons that so many ladies have such an issue with a man being shorter then they are to the point they would forgo possible happiness with him.

I think they want their man to be "strong", "dominating", a "shoulder to rest on", etc. All that bullcrap. And height is perceived as being an attribute of this (and is, probably).
If you are a shorter guy, strong and muscular and you break someone neck in front of her to protect her, chances are she'll find you suddenly very attractive. :noway: (don't direct your violence against her, that is all)
If guy is attractive, funny, confident, millionaire etc but slightly shorter than the girl (say she says size<5'8'' = deal breaker and guy is in fact 5'7''), she will still accept the whole package. That how Nicolas Sarkozy found his hot wife, he is a short but very powerful man.

To me, one of the massive deal breaker is hygiene (kills my desire), another one is I want a girl to be "feminine" to a certain extent (no tomboy).