the passion is in the anticipation of the touch, the kiss, the lick, the look, it builds to an extreme crescendo of desire, lust and intimacy

Stop!!! I'm trying to work here lol

To get even deeper into it (yeah,bad pun intended) do ladies really care if they "get there".
Or to be blunt about it do many of you enjoy the act(s),the emotion,the atmosphere and if orgasm happens then great but if not still can be awesome.

Personally I tend to feel I have failed in a way if a lady does not climax...should I?

I would agree with the whole emotion, atmosphere part of your statement. It is different for women .. at least me anyway. Certainly wouldn't feel like you failed if it "doesn't happen" .. but you can generally tell if she is having a good time or not. If she is really in the mood .. it will happen without you doing a whole lot anyway .. lol. Sometimes there are lots of little ones and sometimes there is just one giant one .. lol. Either way if she is enjoying herself .. get it Carl! lol.

What pisses me off the most though is women who fake it. Fundamentally, I don't really give a **** whether you have an orgasm or not (if I can still have mine!), but surely it's better to actually let the other know that he failed and what he could do to improve so that ultimately you won't have to fake it.

I was gonna stay out of this convo... until I read this. I remember early in my marriage things just weren't working for me but everything happened naturally (and quick, lol), for him . We were each other's first, so we didn't know back then that women take a little more effort. He asked me to fake it so he could have a good time. I threw back at him I can't fake something I've never had. Not my best moment, admittedly, but my point is:

He didn't care about the woman getting hers, unless it impacted getting his.

I'm not gonna generalized to all men, but I've heard many moms opine that unless they insisted "momma first" their partner wouldn't take care of their needs. I've also heard a lot of women say that "faking it" is one of their most important relationship tools.

What pisses me off the most though is women who fake it. Fundamentally, I don't really give a **** whether you have an orgasm or not (if I can still have mine!), but surely it's better to actually let the other know that he failed and what he could do to improve so that ultimately you won't have to fake it.

I was gonna stay out of this convo... until I read this. I remember early in my marriage things just weren't working for me but everything happened naturally (and quick, lol), for him . We were each other's first, so we didn't know back then that women take a little more effort. He asked me to fake it so he could have a good time. I threw back at him I can't fake something I've never had. Not my best moment, admittedly, but my point is:

He didn't care about the woman getting hers, unless it impacted getting his.

I'm not gonna generalized to all men, but I've heard many moms opine that unless they insisted "momma first" their partner wouldn't take care of their needs. I've also heard a lot of women say that "faking it" is one of their most important relationship tools.

I'm sorry you had to go through that because all guys are not so selfish. I know what you mean by things not really happening easily (assuming early to mid 20s here), but I had an ex that worked tirelessly in the beginning until things became more natural. It actually made me feel like there was something wrong with me at first, but in hindsight I realize it was the age. Now, I have a lasting impression of someone who was an equal partner mentally, emotionally and physically, so that's what I hope to find again.

I will be blunt too. Forgive me when I say this..

But sometimes I just want a good pounding. Forget foreplay and orgasm isn't necessary. I have been very very satisfied with just some awesome intercourse even w/o orgasm. I do physically need release so it couldn't be like that all the time.. just sometimes.

Men appreciate blunt and straightforward, no need for forgiveness we prefer straight answers and of course doing our part in a good pounding!! hahahaha

I had an ex that worked tirelessly in the beginning until things became more natural. It actually made me feel like there was something wrong with me at first, but in hindsight I realize it was the age. Now, I have a lasting impression of someone who was an equal partner mentally, emotionally and physically, so that's what I hope to find again.

That's awesome! Don't settle for anything less!

To get even deeper into it (yeah,bad pun intended) do ladies really care if they "get there".
Or to be blunt about it do many of you enjoy the act(s),the emotion,the atmosphere and if orgasm happens then great but if not still can be awesome.

Personally I tend to feel I have failed in a way if a lady does not climax...should I?

I think it's a give and take thing. Sometimes it's ok if it's all about one person, so long as it eventually kind of evens itself out. I don't think you should feel you've failed if a lady doesn't "get there" every single time. Lots of variables involved in that. Unless you were lazy and didn't do a darn thing to help out, then no you shouldn't feel as if you failed. For most women, it's not simply a physical thing - there's a lot of mental/emotional aspects to getting there, as well.

As for talking - it's a necessity. If you can't openly discuss what's working, what's not working - then things will never really grow (haha) to a place that's mutually enjoyable for both. If you can't talk about it with your partner - then you probably shouldn't be doing the deed together in the first place. I certainly hope a guy will tell me what he likes and what works for him. But, there's a right way and a wrong way to do that. If he starts off on the first (or second) encounter saying "Do this, do that" then that's not cool. I think you need to give it a few tries to see if you naturally figure out what works together for the two of you. THEN if things aren't happening, it's time to thoughtfully express what your needs/wants are.

Both..

Har har!

No prob taking the intiative here!

Actually the last time I took a good pounding I was quite offended. So I think I've gone off them :laugh: