Media Influence
Replies
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I've heard that statistically teen births are at their lowest point in about 30 years due in part to shows like this that portray how hard the situation actually is.
Media influence is probably a very small part of the why this is happening. Birth rates are down in most age groups, except for 40+ women. The real reason is the economy, which has disproportionately affected those 16-early 30s, the prime child bearing years. Fewer people can afford to have children with so much economic uncertainty. Economic downturns have a way of lowering birth rates. The Great Depression of the 1930s was known for producing the Silent Generation, a smaller cohort of child births. During the economic malaise of the late 1960s and 1970s, there was also a noticeable drop in birth rates as well.0 -
I love the idea of romance but unfortunately don't have any idea what it looks like in real life. I do the same thing as buff and think about all these wonderful romantic scenarios that I have seen, read, or heard about and become hopeful that the guy I am dating will do them. With my ex, romance was, Hey babe, I took out the trash. Or, Come here baby, wanna hump? lol Sexy!
When things are overwhelming in my normal life I read hot fudge sundae books because I don't have to think. Then I covet of the all consuming love the main characters have for each other and begin to wonder if that will ever happen to me.
But, I am ever hopeful that I will find the man who makes my heart beat fast, gives me butterflies, and makes my lady parts tingle. bahahaha Sorry for that.
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Wrong.So we turn to romantic comedies. Ok, so the guy and the girl got into a huge fight and didn't talk to each other for weeks or months. But you know that they just HAVE to be together, so one day, something happens. They run into each other on the street. Some well-meaning friend chases them down and forces them to talk. They both get over their stubborn ways and fall into each others arms and promise to have open, clear communication for the rest of eternity. Right. I think it's pretty safe to say that almost never happens in real life.
Sometimes, when things would get tough with my ex (= she is getting on my nerves), I would sit and with a deep male voice/theatrical voice, look at her in the eyes, take her hands and start talking like they do in these romantic comedies:
Me: "There is something I need to tell you. Something important."
Her: "Give me a break"
(let her hands go, stand up)
Me: "WE ARE NOT COMMUNICATING ANYMORE! What happened? What happened to us?"
(hold your face in your hands, turn around so that she sees your back)
Her: "AH AH. So funny."
Me: "You see? You keep ignoring me. This is..."
(Pointing finger at her)
"Who is he?"
Her: "X your best friend"
Me: "NooooooooOOOOOooooOOOOO!"
(Run out slam door)
Then come back and resume normal activities.
Seriously guys, just do it - this is awesome to bring those chick flicks in the real world.0 -
I've heard that statistically teen births are at their lowest point in about 30 years due in part to shows like this that portray how hard the situation actually is.
Media influence is probably a very small part of the why this is happening. Birth rates are down in most age groups, except for 40+ women. The real reason is the economy, which has disproportionately affected those 16-early 30s, the prime child bearing years. Fewer people can afford to have children with so much economic uncertainty. Economic downturns have a way of lowering birth rates. The Great Depression of the 1930s was known for producing the Silent Generation, a smaller cohort of child births. During the economic malaise of the late 1960s and 1970s, there was also a noticeable drop in birth rates as well.
Birth rates might be down for economic reasons. My guess is still that teen pregnancy rates are steady to declining because kids see the harsh reality and might wait a little longer...otherwise, do you know any 16 years olds who in the heat of the moment are going to stop what they are doing to discuss the economic impact a pregnancy could cause? :laugh:0 -
Wrong.So we turn to romantic comedies. Ok, so the guy and the girl got into a huge fight and didn't talk to each other for weeks or months. But you know that they just HAVE to be together, so one day, something happens. They run into each other on the street. Some well-meaning friend chases them down and forces them to talk. They both get over their stubborn ways and fall into each others arms and promise to have open, clear communication for the rest of eternity. Right. I think it's pretty safe to say that almost never happens in real life.
Sometimes, when things would get tough with my ex (= she is getting on my nerves), I would sit and with a deep male voice/theatrical voice, look at her in the eyes, take her hands and start talking like they do in these romantic comedies:
Me: "There is something I need to tell you. Something important."
Her: "Give me a break"
(let her hands go, stand up)
Me: "WE ARE NOT COMMUNICATING ANYMORE! What happened? What happened to us?"
(hold your face in your hands, turn around so that she sees your back)
Her: "AH AH. So funny."
Me: "You see? You keep ignoring me. This is..."
(Pointing finger at her)
"Who is he?"
Her: "X your best friend"
Me: "NooooooooOOOOOooooOOOOO!"
(Run out slam door)
Then come back and resume normal activities.
Seriously guys, just do it - this is awesome to bring those chick flicks in the real world.
You're so strange.
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Birth rates might be down for economic reasons. My guess is still that teen pregnancy rates are steady to declining because kids see the harsh reality and might wait a little longer...otherwise, do you know any 16 years olds who in the heat of the moment are going to stop what they are doing to discuss the economic impact a pregnancy could cause? :laugh:
Point taken about the heat of the moment.
Recent article about teen birth rates.....http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2012-04-11/news/sns-201204111215usnewsusnwr201204100410teenbirthsapr11_1_stephanie-ventura-white-teens-teen-girls
Perhaps teens-early 30s individuals are also using birth control methods more effectively. It could be that the teens-early 30s age group are addressing the issue before the heat of the moment. Maybe the economic pressures are making people take the contraception process more seriously. For example, a missed birth control pill can leave a woman susceptible to pregnancy. Kourtney Kardashian attributed her first pregnancy to forgetting to take her birth control pills as directed.0 -
I'm sure you're right. I can't speak from personal experience, having never been married, and I think a lot of trouble these days comes from a total lack of respect for the other person's point of view. I would put gaining weight in that category, and I will be castigated by most women for it, but this is how I look at it: your husband was obviously attracted to you when he married you. You cannot gain 70 lbs in 7 months and expect it to not be a problem. If you allow it to become a problem and your solution is to call your husband a superficial pig, you are the one being selfish, not him.
But, as I have probably made obvious through my stances on various issues, I come from a different place than most women. My parents have been happily married for 35 years, and I grew up next door to my grandparents, who will be married 65 years next year. I have never seen more functional marriages than those two, so everything I know about successful relationships, I learned from them, and one thing I learned is that if you get married thinking it's okay for you to substantially change or expecting your husband to substantially change, you're going to fail.
I'm sure relationships do work out better when you are honest with a woman and she is honest with you, and I would guess that's why you had the experiences you did with women when you said you wouldn't marry them. With honesty comes the freedom to act or to not act with the full range of information you need to make the best decision for you, and that takes the guesswork out of the equation.
Why get married? Well, I'm a Christian, and I want to make that commitment to a man before God and the people who mean the most to us. I also want to have kids someday, and I will not do that outside of marriage. I know that doesn't matter to a lot of people, and that's fine, but it does matter to me.
^^^This!!!0 -
Birth rates might be down for economic reasons. My guess is still that teen pregnancy rates are steady to declining because kids see the harsh reality and might wait a little longer...otherwise, do you know any 16 years olds who in the heat of the moment are going to stop what they are doing to discuss the economic impact a pregnancy could cause? :laugh:
Point taken about the heat of the moment.
Recent article about teen birth rates.....http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2012-04-11/news/sns-201204111215usnewsusnwr201204100410teenbirthsapr11_1_stephanie-ventura-white-teens-teen-girls
Perhaps teens-early 30s individuals are also using birth control methods more effectively. It could be that the teens-early 30s age group are addressing the issue before the heat of the moment. Maybe the economic pressures are making people take the contraception process more seriously. For example, a missed birth control pill can leave a woman susceptible to pregnancy. Kourtney Kardashian attributed her first pregnancy to forgetting to take her birth control pills as directed.
Teens-early 30's seems like a very big age-group to lump together, and VERY different life-stages. More to say, but brain has turned to mush, and it's just about time for me to log off and go home anyway. Will be back tomorrow.0 -
Media and movies made it hard for me to believe in love. You had the cute perky Meg Ryan, and Reese Witherspoon and all these hot guys, while I was a young fat brunette child. I just thought love wasnt meant for me because I was not a beautiful skinny blonde. I wanted it (still do) but thought it was unattainable.
It sets people up for failure and unrealistic expectations - well at least me!
I do sometimes use it as an escape from my reality lol so it can be a perk of some sort.0 -
I'm sure you're right. I can't speak from personal experience, having never been married, and I think a lot of trouble these days comes from a total lack of respect for the other person's point of view. I would put gaining weight in that category, and I will be castigated by most women for it, but this is how I look at it: your husband was obviously attracted to you when he married you. You cannot gain 70 lbs in 7 months and expect it to not be a problem. If you allow it to become a problem and your solution is to call your husband a superficial pig, you are the one being selfish, not him.
But, as I have probably made obvious through my stances on various issues, I come from a different place than most women. My parents have been happily married for 35 years, and I grew up next door to my grandparents, who will be married 65 years next year. I have never seen more functional marriages than those two, so everything I know about successful relationships, I learned from them, and one thing I learned is that if you get married thinking it's okay for you to substantially change or expecting your husband to substantially change, you're going to fail.
I'm sure relationships do work out better when you are honest with a woman and she is honest with you, and I would guess that's why you had the experiences you did with women when you said you wouldn't marry them. With honesty comes the freedom to act or to not act with the full range of information you need to make the best decision for you, and that takes the guesswork out of the equation.
Why get married? Well, I'm a Christian, and I want to make that commitment to a man before God and the people who mean the most to us. I also want to have kids someday, and I will not do that outside of marriage. I know that doesn't matter to a lot of people, and that's fine, but it does matter to me.
^^^This!!!
This is the greatest answer ever and I'm sorry but if everyone thought this way, life would be a much better place. Love ISN'T a mushy feeling you get in your belly. It's a choice and an action that you choose every single day upon marrying someone. Obvioulsy, there are limits (adultery) but the fairytale wears off after a while. You have to be in it for the long run.0 -
I blame Kathy Seldon from Singin' in the Rain, along with any other woman who comes off like a smart-a$s or holds her own in movies and TV. I've always been a bit of an independent thinker since I was little and would see women who were like that being chased and think that I would have a chance. Same goes for Miranda in Sex and the City.
I'm pretty realistic about life, but at the same time, I keep my passport in my wallet - just in case :blushing:0 -
Media and movies made it hard for me to believe in love. You had the cute perky Meg Ryan, and Reese Witherspoon and all these hot guys, while I was a young fat brunette child. I just thought love wasnt meant for me because I was not a beautiful skinny blonde. I wanted it (still do) but thought it was unattainable.
It sets people up for failure and unrealistic expectations - well at least me!
I do sometimes use it as an escape from my reality lol so it can be a perk of some sort.
I can understand your point of view. When I was young I could never relate to the heroines. I thought that there was something wrong with me and that I would die alone with a bunch of cats. But, part of me still thought that if I changed, I could have my fairy tale ending. I guess I'm still operating under this assumption, but I have amended by definition of a 'fairy tale' ending.
I always tried to portray myself as the cynic, as the girl who is grounded in reality, kinda like Miranda. But, it's all a front. I am a romantic, who wants passion and love. I think part of that desire comes from the media, but I have also seen it in the relationships of those around me. It's just not always that obvious or overt as the way love is portrayed in movies. It can be found in small gestures...0 -
The media makes me feel like all marriages are doomed to fail, so why worry myself with the train wreck that is bound to happen? I already have one divorce under my belt, that's enough for me.
I know deep down I should not think like that...!!!0 -
I was also thinking that the media portrays sex as absolutely perfect when in actuality, I've heard it's really awkward in the beginning!0
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I was also thinking that the media portrays sex as absolutely perfect when in actuality, I've heard it's really awkward in the beginning!
I agree. I think it also depends on who you're with. If you're with someone you're not into/passionate about it's not going to be like anything movies portray. Again movies are a bit unrealistic, but when you're with someone you care about I think it's better. That's just an assumption though, I've never been with someone I've been passionate about, though that sounds kind of bad on my part but its true.
I think the same thing goes for kissing too. In movies/TV kissing seems like some big awesome defining moment sometimes. For me I've never had that moment of wow that kiss was great! It's just kind of meh and I don't really like kissing all that much. I prefer other things. Then again that could be because I've never been with anyone who I've been that passionate about. Or I just get lucky kissing people who think eating my face is sexy. Maybe its that.0 -
I was also thinking that the media portrays sex as absolutely perfect when in actuality, I've heard it's really awkward in the beginning!
I've never thought it was awkward. If you have sex with someone that you want, and they want you, its the most natural thing in the world. My first time was wonderful. Its not like we just had intercourse out the blue, we spent a good few months progressing from kissing to touching to.........erm....other things!! :blushing: By the time we decided the time was right to go the whole way we felt very comfortable with each other. Sure I was nervous, and anxious, but excited too. It was a lovely moment that I'll never forget :flowerforyou:0 -
sappy and romantic movies make me roll my eyes. it's rarely ever like that.0
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Maybe I'm a little overly sensitive but as far as media influence goes it seems that average looking men don't have a shot in hell anymore. That's what I see. If you aren't tall, thin, don't have washboard abs, a lantern jaw with a shade of manly scruff, you aren't worth the time of day.0
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Maybe I'm a little overly sensitive but as far as media influence goes it seems that average looking men don't have a shot in hell anymore. That's what I see. If you aren't tall, thin, don't have washboard abs, a lantern jaw with a shade of manly scruff, you aren't worth the time of day.
Very few real life women look like the women that the media portrays.0 -
If you aren't tall, thin, don't have washboard abs, a lantern jaw with a shade of manly scruff, you aren't worth the time of day.
Very few real life women look like the women that the media portrays.
Me and my girlfriends tend to fall for guys based on their personality, not looks. Though smokin' hot looks helps with attraction, believe it or not, that also brings greater insecurity in the relationship.0 -
Me and my girlfriends tend to fall for guys based on their personality, not looks. Though smokin' hot looks helps with attraction, believe it or not, that also brings greater insecurity in the relationship.
That may be true, but the initial perception is based on outward appearances. Consciously or not, we form perceptions on outside appearance.0 -
That may be true, but the initial perception is based on outward appearances. Consciously or not, we form perceptions on outside appearance.
tru dat.
Keep in mind, my crowd is full of people looking to settle down and get married in an average, middle class, environment. They aren't looking to party, hook up, or marry a millionare so they can live the life of the rich and famous. Though none of us will turn down a fun-loving, hot, millionaire who wantst o settle down and have kids. lol.0 -
The media has actually backed up most of what my parents taught me when I was sixteen and they sat me down and said this is what you need to know about dating. Some things Ive learned from the media/society:
♥ dont try to have a serious or thought-provoking conversation with a guy as soon as he gets home from work. Give him a couple hours to get out of work mode, shower, pee, eat, do nothing for awhile, change, fart, relax, forget about his boss, check sportscenter - just leave him be. Relax, dont be so selfish.
♥ also- if you try to talk to him during the game- youre going to be disappointed. It would be like if he was trying to have a serious conversation with you 3 minutes after your BFFs showed up at the house and one had on an engagement ring and the other was waving plane tickets... he's just not going to have your needed attention at the moment. Dont expect his. And dont try to cram it all in during the commercials, he's either going to be answering texts, talking to his buds about the game or he's all wound up wanting to know what happens next, or its a new beer commercial. Relax, dont be so selfish.
♥ Calling names and cursing during an argument means you've lost, your point's been proven wrong, are a sore loser, and you dont have that much respect for the person that holds your heart.
♥ Be careful what you say in the heat of th moment, even if it was awful terrible and too far and he doesnt react- about 2 am- he'll be laying in bed stewing over what you said- it plants a seed that haunts him later. Dont haunt your man.
♥ Guys get sad and cranky and moody when they are lacking the essentials that babies need - not that they are babies- just that you know these are their basic needs still.. needs food, needs a poo, needs sleep, needs human contact, or is sick. If any of these things are happening and he's grumpy as **** and doesnt realise why... for goodness sake, take care of your man.
♥ You gotta have play time. Finding ways to turn chores into fun games, like jumping from sofa to sofa having a sock and towel war while folding laundry and avoiding the hot lava floor is awesome fun, but its also chores. Keep dating.
♥ Try to be the first one ready 50% of the time.
♥ Come up with a code phrase to signal to your man that you're totally over this party and want to jump in the car and give him a *kitten* asap
♥ Guys need compliments, reassurance and to be flirted with just as much as you do. Dont be the girl taht sits there and soaks up their affection - giving and taking makes it so much better... and far more genuine.
♥ NEVER CORRECT OR BELITTLE YOUR MAN IN PUBLIC, whether its your friends, his friends or the general strange public or even the interwebs. YOURE SUPPOSED TO HAVE HIS BACK. Thats no way to treat your #1. They dont have the same exact thinking patterns as we do, if you cut him down or act condescendingly toward him in public, he's going to question whether or not he can count on you. Dont be that b!tch.
♥ If you have a list that says you want someone who is financially stble, in good shape, loves beng active, loves traveling and continually tries to better themselves, is socially healthy and always fun at a party... then you better make damn sure that you are everything on that list as well... how sad would it be to meet that person and know that they are getting the short end of the stick cause all you were concentrating on was what you wanted... not what they might be looking for?
♥♥♥ i could go on and on with what Ive learned and how the media (combined with my parents' no-nonsense approach to the whole deal) has shaped how I see dating and love. I realize that I am affected by my own perception of what comes through my senses, but Im responsible for that.0 -
Me and my girlfriends tend to fall for guys based on their personality, not looks. Though smokin' hot looks helps with attraction, believe it or not, that also brings greater insecurity in the relationship.
That may be true, but the initial perception is based on outward appearances. Consciously or not, we form perceptions on outside appearance.
I remember the last time that someone's first impression (the purely physical first impression across a crowded room type) and I just about got knocked off my feet and all I could say was... 'oh Im ****ed'.0 -
The media has actually backed up most of what my parents taught me when I was sixteen and they sat me down and said this is what you need to know about dating. Some things Ive learned from the media/society:
♥ dont try to have a serious or thought-provoking conversation with a guy as soon as he gets home from work. Give him a couple hours to get out of work mode, shower, pee, eat, do nothing for awhile, change, fart, relax, forget about his boss, check sportscenter - just leave him be. Relax, dont be so selfish.
♥ also- if you try to talk to him during the game- youre going to be disappointed. It would be like if he was trying to have a serious conversation with you 3 minutes after your BFFs showed up at the house and one had on an engagement ring and the other was waving plane tickets... he's just not going to have your needed attention at the moment. Dont expect his. And dont try to cram it all in during the commercials, he's either going to be answering texts, talking to his buds about the game or he's all wound up wanting to know what happens next, or its a new beer commercial. Relax, dont be so selfish.
♥ Be careful what you say in the heat of th moment, even if it was awful terrible and too far and he doesnt react- about 2 am- he'll be laying in bed stewing over what you said- it plants a seed that haunts him later. Dont haunt your man.
♥ Guys get sad and cranky and moody when they are lacking the essentials that babies need - not that they are babies- just that you know these are their basic needs still.. needs food, needs a poo, needs sleep, needs human contact, or is sick. If any of these things are happening and he's grumpy as **** and doesnt realise why... for goodness sake, take care of your man.
♥ You gotta have play time. Finding ways to turn chores into fun games, like jumping from sofa to sofa having a sock and towel war while folding laundry and avoiding the hot lava floor is awesome fun, but its also chores. Keep dating.
♥ Try to be the first one ready 50% of the time.
Thanks Yoovie for this great contribution. I am quoting the ones from that list that most resonated with me, though they are all true. The unwinding after work part is really true (especially if he doesn't really like his job) as well as with the basic needs stuff.0 -
I remember the last time that someone's first impression (the purely physical first impression across a crowded room type) and I just about got knocked off my feet and all I could say was... 'oh Im ****ed'.
Very interested to know more about this.0 -
Not a -single- one of my boyfriends was Batman
Some lessons are harder to learn than others. 0 -
This is one of those common Guys' Rules for Women lists rolling around the Internet...
http://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=35526
One of the items has to do with media influence directly....
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
Thoughts on that one?0 -
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
Thoughts on that one?
Don't want a sopa opera guy, so pbbbbt!
That said, I firmly believe in dressing hawt at home and, when I was married, everything I wore had to at least be "half hot" ( if the whole outfit wasn't slammin, then either the top had to be tight and revealing or the bottom had to show off my bottom). But then again, I was married to a minister who spent much of the day closing himself off from the sinful world, so I think he kinda needed to have that hottie at home in order to deal with it.0 -
This is one of those common Guys' Rules for Women lists rolling around the Internet...
http://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=35526
One of the items has to do with media influence directly....
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
Thoughts on that one?
Soap opera guys cry too much, that's weird.
That list is pretty much what I have to explain to my friends.0
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