Bad Pick-Up Attempts
jill92787
Posts: 158 Member
Okay, so I will always give a guy or girl props for trying and going out on a limb at making a move on someone you're interested in, but let's face it, some people are just oh-so-bad at it...
I know I have some ridiculous stories!! It always seems to be the extremely awkward, absolutely hopeless guys that hit on me if/when I do get asked out, which is so depressing lol. I just want it to be a cute guy, just once...
The worst offenders:
Blind date that I was forced to go on: We listened to a Russian Marching band on the way to the show, then we arrived and it turned out it was a 4 hour opera of the Grapes of Wrath (which I was not aware of), and then he tried all the way home to convince me that Communism is the way to go and that Fidel Castro is the best leader the world has seen in the 20th century.
"I know you're my best friend's ex-girlfriend, but...I'm so much prettier than him, you should come over and hook up with me!"
"Do you work with EOD? (bomb squad-type job)..."
"No, why?"
"...cuz you da bomb!" Not joking, he actually said that, in a serious attempt.
Second date: "I love you baby tell me you love me." Negative ghost rider. Then it continued to spiral out of control from there into "I want to get you pregnant" and "You shouldn't have any male friends, I don't want you talking to any guys but me."
...and then today a guy asked for my number, but he was literally 4'10''. I give him props, I was polite, and I gently declined, but he just couldn't get the hint and later walked right up to my window (I live on the first floor) and started trying to talk to me again and asked me out for a beer.
I think I was born with a built in creeper magnet.
What are some of your stories?
I know I have some ridiculous stories!! It always seems to be the extremely awkward, absolutely hopeless guys that hit on me if/when I do get asked out, which is so depressing lol. I just want it to be a cute guy, just once...
The worst offenders:
Blind date that I was forced to go on: We listened to a Russian Marching band on the way to the show, then we arrived and it turned out it was a 4 hour opera of the Grapes of Wrath (which I was not aware of), and then he tried all the way home to convince me that Communism is the way to go and that Fidel Castro is the best leader the world has seen in the 20th century.
"I know you're my best friend's ex-girlfriend, but...I'm so much prettier than him, you should come over and hook up with me!"
"Do you work with EOD? (bomb squad-type job)..."
"No, why?"
"...cuz you da bomb!" Not joking, he actually said that, in a serious attempt.
Second date: "I love you baby tell me you love me." Negative ghost rider. Then it continued to spiral out of control from there into "I want to get you pregnant" and "You shouldn't have any male friends, I don't want you talking to any guys but me."
...and then today a guy asked for my number, but he was literally 4'10''. I give him props, I was polite, and I gently declined, but he just couldn't get the hint and later walked right up to my window (I live on the first floor) and started trying to talk to me again and asked me out for a beer.
I think I was born with a built in creeper magnet.
What are some of your stories?
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One guy told me he wanted to crawl up inside me to feel my love from the inside out
UH WHAT?!?!??!0 -
And women get annoyed with me when I say they must have a mirror in their pocket because I can see myself in their pants.0
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then he tried all the way home to convince me that Communism is the way to go and that Fidel Castro is the best leader the world has seen in the 20th century.
I had no idea you had a date with Ozzie Guillen. He was just overcompensating for his PR problem.0 -
haha.
All I can say is I'd ask you out.0 -
I don't think I have any stories but
LOL @ creeper magnet0 -
then he tried all the way home to convince me that Communism is the way to go and that Fidel Castro is the best leader the world has seen in the 20th century.
I had no idea you had a date with Ozzie Guillen. He was just overcompensating for his PR problem.
Nice comment!!!! :bigsmile:0 -
Second date: "I love you baby tell me you love me." Negative ghost rider. Then it continued to spiral out of control from there into "I want to get you pregnant" and "You shouldn't have any male friends, I don't want you talking to any guys but me."
...and then today a guy asked for my number, but he was literally 4'10''. I give him props, I was polite, and I gently declined, but he just couldn't get the hint and later walked right up to my window (I live on the first floor) and started trying to talk to me again and asked me out for a beer.
Why talk about getting your date pregnant on the 2nd date? That's a little inappropriate.
How tall are you? Life must be difficult for short men.0 -
Second date: "I love you baby tell me you love me." Negative ghost rider. Then it continued to spiral out of control from there into "I want to get you pregnant" and "You shouldn't have any male friends, I don't want you talking to any guys but me."
...and then today a guy asked for my number, but he was literally 4'10''. I give him props, I was polite, and I gently declined, but he just couldn't get the hint and later walked right up to my window (I live on the first floor) and started trying to talk to me again and asked me out for a beer.
Why talk about getting your date pregnant on the 2nd date? That's a little inappropriate.
How tall are you? Life must be difficult for short men, though I know a guy who is like 5'5" or 5'6" that does quite well with the ladies.0 -
As a waitress....
"I'd like YOU on a platter."
"I'd like the blonde buffet."0 -
Second date: "I love you baby tell me you love me." Negative ghost rider. Then it continued to spiral out of control from there into "I want to get you pregnant" and "You shouldn't have any male friends, I don't want you talking to any guys but me."
...and then today a guy asked for my number, but he was literally 4'10''. I give him props, I was polite, and I gently declined, but he just couldn't get the hint and later walked right up to my window (I live on the first floor) and started trying to talk to me again and asked me out for a beer.
Why talk about getting your date pregnant on the 2nd date? That's a little inappropriate.
How tall are you? Life must be difficult for short men, though I know a guy who is like 5'5" or 5'6" that does quite well with the ladies.
haha yes, my point exactly...he was super inappropriate!! I'm 5'8'' so a 4'10'' guy is almost a full foot shorter than me, and I'm sorry but I just couldn't take him seriously. He also seems to have some boundary issues (window creeping lol)...0 -
Second date: "I love you baby tell me you love me." Negative ghost rider. Then it continued to spiral out of control from there into "I want to get you pregnant" and "You shouldn't have any male friends, I don't want you talking to any guys but me."
I have no story to share. but wow the pregnant line?0 -
Nice one! :laugh: I'll use it all the time.And women get annoyed with me when I say they must have a mirror in their pocket because I can see myself in their pants.
1) Pokemon strategy
2) this joke
= instant WIN
OP: You realise you are stigmatising half the community (the males) with this - we obviously are oblivious to our bad pick up attempts. :sad:0 -
So some friends of my family own a bar in my hometown. When my brother, his fiancee and I come into town, we usually go there for a few drinks. Well, we were at the bar one night when this happened.
I am standing talking to my brother's fiancee when guy walks up to us.
He looks at me and says: "I just want to tell you that you are very attractive"
Me: "Thank you"
Him: "Do you have any kids?"
Me: "No"
Him: "Want some? My boys can swim!"
This led to us girls cracking up and the owner (our friend) telling him to get the F**k away from us. Ha ha.0 -
I was at a sports bar last night watching the celtics and sox play. One guy asked to see my hand and said .... I'm going to read your palm, yep I see it, your going to be lip-locked with me later ...... Yeah that was an incorrect reading0
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I was at a sports bar last night watching the celtics and sox play. One guy asked to see my hand and said .... I'm going to read your palm, yep I see it, your going to be lip-locked with me later ...... Yeah that was an incorrect reading
The palm reading is a decent maneuver, what was said isn't easy to do correctly. It's not necessarily what you say, it is how you say it, though some things would be really hard to say (like the pregnant line above).0 -
I don't get the really cheesy pick-up lines much. I think my "F off" face helps with that. The last really bad one I can remember was when I was at Starbucks one day. I was in a business suit because it was the middle of a workday, and I the following exchange with a guy in front of me:
Him: You should take your jacket off.
Me: Excuse me?
Him: You don't need it. It's hot outside.
Me: Thanks, but I'm fine.
Him: Hey, I'm just trying to look out for your well-being.
One guy did say to me once "I'm not saying this to impress you ... but I'm Batman." It would've been funny if I hadn't just seen the exact same line on Facebook the day before.0 -
I don't get the really cheesy pick-up lines much. I think my "F off" face helps with that. The last really bad one I can remember was when I was at Starbucks one day. I was in a business suit because it was the middle of a workday, and I the following exchange with a guy in front of me:
Him: You should take your jacket off.
Me: Excuse me?
Him: You don't need it. It's hot outside.
Me: Thanks, but I'm fine.
Him: Hey, I'm just trying to look out for your well-being.
One guy did say to me once "I'm not saying this to impress you ... but I'm Batman." It would've been funny if I hadn't just seen the exact same line on Facebook the day before.
Grown women don't need to have their well being looked out for. Not romantic.0 -
Hmmmm not really a pick up line. However while I was in the gas station yesterday I had a guy basically try to sniff me and then he tells me oh you smell nice.......0
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I don't get the really cheesy pick-up lines much. I think my "F off" face helps with that.
Hahaha! F off face! Priceless! I don't have any pick up lines other than hi my name is Bill and you are.
After hearing some of these winning lines though I will be sure to rush out tonight and try all of them!0 -
I don't have any cheesy lines, but last night at the bar, this older man was hardcore hitting on my roommate and me. For the men and women here - hit on people your own age! Or near your own age!0
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everyone can have a bad day from time to time, a good hitter might strikes out with the bases loaded, a great basket player can miss the last shot and sometimes a pickup line just does come accross right, the timing could be off, or it is just not received well.
Best to just take a deep breathe, have a cold beer, think of what went wrong and then stay true to who you are. (from someone who has failed with a first impression).0 -
I don't have any cheesy lines, but last night at the bar, this older man was hardcore hitting on my roommate and me. For the men and women here - hit on people your own age! Or near your own age!
How old is "older"? I was talking to a girl in bar about a year ago and it turns out she was attending the same college I did (uncommon because the school is on the other side of the state). I told her I graduated from that college and she said "What year did you graduate? And please don't say 2007 because thats the year I graduated high school."
Nope it wasn't 2007, it was 2 years earlier than that... ouch.0 -
I don't have any cheesy lines, but last night at the bar, this older man was hardcore hitting on my roommate and me. For the men and women here - hit on people your own age! Or near your own age!
How old is "older"? I was talking to a girl in bar about a year ago and it turns out she was attending the same college I did (uncommon because the school is on the other side of the state). I told her I graduated from that college and she said "What year did you graduate? And please don't say 2007 because thats the year I graduated high school."
Nope it wasn't 2007, it was 2 years earlier than that... ouch.
That's not too bad! My roommate graduated high school in 2008, and her boyfriend graduated college in 2007, so they're a few years apart. This guy at the bar was mid-forties, early-fifties. I'm 21.0 -
My worst:
Do you have any Italian in you. No. Would you like some?
Another I am actually too shy to type :blushing: . For you British single peeps, I'll just say the guy shared HRH's fantasy as revealed in the Camillagate sex scandal :laugh:
Another was difficult as I was in work mode. I do a job where there is often a genuine mutual attachment and sometimes this confuses people and they attempt a pick up. It comes with the nature of the work and usually is expressed in such a way that I am used to dealing with. Once a guy said "actuallly I find you very attractive, is there any chance that we could have sex?" I don't know why I found it so shocking, possibly because it was just so direct, or maybe because I was 27 years older than him.0 -
One guy told me he wanted to crawl up inside me to feel my love from the inside out
UH WHAT?!?!??!
Actually an ex bf once told me that and I thought it was kind of hot. Is that wrong? :laugh:
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Nice one! :laugh: I'll use it all the time.And women get annoyed with me when I say they must have a mirror in their pocket because I can see myself in their pants.
1) Pokemon strategy
2) this joke
= instant WIN
OP: You realise you are stigmatising half the community (the males) with this - we obviously are oblivious to our bad pick up attempts. :sad:
Maybe we can turn this into a learning experience for ya then hahahaha0 -
When I was in high school I used to take a couple of screws from shop class and put them in my pocket. Later in the day I would walk up to cute girls, extend one of them and ask "Wanna screw?"0
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Well at the end of the night I was sitting in a chair waiting for my friends while holding my shoes. A guy sat down by me took one of my shoes and smelled it. Said "I was just checking to see if they smelled since I like a girl with clean feet."0
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I am amazed at some ice breakers or pick up lines that have worked. In college I worked as a bouncer. At closing time, if a girl said No when I was trying to get everyone out the door. Sometimes I would say
Come on now. Don't make me the only guy you've ever said no to in your whole life. My ego just can't take that. (somehow that got enough laughs to be a good ice breaker. Not necessarily by the girl who I said it to but often by one of her friends).
Another one that I couldn't believe worked was asking a girl at closing time if she wanted to go home with me. When she said no. I would say Come on baby it's 2:00am. Lower your standards. God knows I am. (obviously delivery matters and I would say it to a girl in a group and usually one of them liked it.)0 -
One guy did say to me once "I'm not saying this to impress you ... but I'm Batman." It would've been funny if I hadn't just seen the exact same line on Facebook the day before.
This would work on me. I'd tell him I was a Green Lantern and we should start our own Justice League
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