I FINALLY found a solution to online dating!!!!!
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I shut my (not)OKC down because I didn't like the kind of person it was turning me into. I get lots of views but rarely respond to the few messages I receive - there is no physical attraction whatsoever to the men who contact me. And they all seem to be really sweet, smart & brave - we would be very well matched as dear friends. But I am looking for romance and a deeper companionship than friendship. And yes - sex would be part of the deal, but not the whole deal. I am grateful to the men who messaged me for never ONCE assuming that I was booty call material. I just found that I was becoming cruel without intending to be and I just can't live with that.
Well, you can't have a physical attraction with a computer screen. It requires you to meet them. talk to them. Go from there.0 -
Honestly you just sound bitter.
I just can't believe someone would invest so much emotionally (ego) onto something for the internet. Hell, I browse around and send message to guys that I might be interested in and sometimes they don't respond. Sometimes by the time they've responded I've forgotten that I've even messaged them.
You mention that you found a girl so stupid you had to leave a restaurant because there were no pictures on the menu - how did you not figure out she was that stupid by messaging her? That's your fault dude, that kind of stupid doesn't hide easily. On top of that - she doesn't exist on the internet, it's not the fault of some fake world that this girl is on it. She's a real person with a real life IN THE REAL WORLD. If anything, online dating presented the opportunity for you to weed her out, and you managed not to.
Maybe your problem is the girls you're chasing - ever think about that?
Just because they don't respond to a message doesn't mean that they're an *kitten*. Finally, just because someone isn't interested doesn't make them a bad person. It just means get over it and move on.0 -
My point is ... Online dating is stupid ! It's whole purpose is to give women the ability to reject men easier and build THEIR ego. So **** that I'm better than that ! I'm not gonna be a bulleye for 20 year old BORES that I probably couldn't even hold a conversation with. The last girl that I dated from OKC was so retarded we had to leave the restaurant I took her to because the menu NO PICURES on it!
Wow. Just wow.
Online dating is only stupid (to you) because no one wants you. Stop taking it so personally. If other people aren't seeing you as God's gift to women... look at who they want and figure out what those guys are doing differently.
You made a comment about race one time... I get that, because I have the same problem. But you know what? I still had 4 dates last week and 2 this week. Haven't had to pay for lunch in a long time, unless I wanted to (I pay when my interest in the guy is starting to fizzle). And I'm black. And I'm old. And I’m a single mom. Who doesn’t put out.
But I’m not bad to look at, and I’m generally a fun date who will encourage the guy even if he says something stupid. And guys tell me they appreciate that.
So quit the whining and fix the problem. Maybe if you'd stop blaming all the other uncontrollable factors (race, demographics, age, lack of intelligent girls) you'd have time to focus on what's really causing the problem. Other people aren’t as dumb as you make them out to be.
PS: for those of you who think this is harsh, OP can handle it given our PMs.
The hell w/ those who think it's harsh, it's the truth and I think I just got warm and fuzzy inside. But I bet someone reports it lol0 -
Reporting is not allowed !!!!!!0
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I may as well put a gag ball in my mouth and go see a dominatrix to get my *kitten* beat with a wire hanger!
Yeah, after reading your posts, that's probably the best solution for you. Good luck with that!0 -
even a pig on OKC can get a guy to sleep with it.
You thought this would be a great thing to post on a fitness site? Really? No, really?0 -
Just a quick reminder regarding forum rules to the newcomers who like to be edgy. Any more edgy comments referring to women as Pigs or Retarded and I will lock this thread.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/welcome/guidelines0 -
My point is ... Online dating is stupid ! It's whole purpose is to give women the ability to reject men easier and build THEIR ego. So **** that I'm better than that ! I'm not gonna be a bulleye for 20 year old BORES that I probably couldn't even hold a conversation with. The last girl that I dated from OKC was so retarded we had to leave the restaurant I took her to because the menu NO PICURES on it!
WOW0 -
I had horrible experiences with online dating. I swore never again - it's been 2 years and I've not been tempted once to try again. I am just like you - it brought my self esteem down to ZERO.0
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Do you WANT to view my inbox? Easy my *kitten*...
I know, right?
In between to 20-30 yrs old then
I'm 26 and I get a couple of emails a week- however some of them are not what I'm looking for or just odd for example- "I think I see you around town but I'm not very good- looking so you probably won't notice me" ( he has no photo and lives 30minutes away).
I think I would actually find this kinda creepy...0 -
Yeah... I would check to make sure my blinds are closed at night.
I think I would actually find this kinda creepy...
I'm 26 and I get a couple of emails a week- however some of them are not what I'm looking for or just odd for example- "I think I see you around town but I'm not very good- looking so you probably won't notice me" ( he has no photo and lives 30minutes away).
In between to 20-30 yrs old then
I know, right?Do you WANT to view my inbox? Easy my *kitten*...0 -
It's a PITA for sure, but seriously, once you find someone that puts the prejudices aside to know you for you....WIN.
In the years since my late bride past, I have had little time of my own to meet people (raising my son full-time and my daughter part), so I have gone to online. I have met far more than I ever felt I would of what appeared to be decent women in nature. Only 2 have actually been "real".
The only draw back to dating, as a gentleman...it ****ing expensive.0 -
even a pig on OKC can get a guy to sleep with it.
Don't know what that makes me then...
Not that I was looking for that, but I was on OKC and POF for like 5 months and only got 2 dates, both of which were horrible. I seem to have the opposite experience of everyone...
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The only draw back to dating, as a gentleman...it ****ing expensive.
Amen to that!
In most cases ladies, at least you'll ge a free dinner out of a date even it doesnt work out. We just get a bill hahaha.
Sorry to hear about your wife and good on you with your kids :smokin:0 -
My OKC account didnt even last a week, deleted it yesterday lol0
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While the OPs posts makes him sound kinda douchey..(sorry dude..they do)
I will say that where I am from a pig is a dirty girl or a slut. It has nothing to do with weight. So saying that on a fitness site seems irrelevant. I wouldn't take offense to it.
However, The fact that any man uses that term period says a lot about him. Op maybe the women are sensing your bitterness. I know I can see it coming a mile away when someone contacts me.0 -
I'm with ya there. I wasn't exactly inundated with messages on POF or OKC. In three months on Match, I had about two. It's not easy for anyone. Liking one who likes you back is the hard part. It takes a lot of patience and self esteem. I've been fed up many times
Same here. I'm starting to get back on Match after taking a break following an interesting dating experience from there. It can get to be overwhelming, but I appreciate it when guys are upfront about what they're looking for.0 -
I can only really talk from experience within my age group I guess. Ive been involved in online dating through my 20's on and off. Now at 29. I feel as if the girls in my age bracket, I woudlnt say spoiled for choice, but they have the upper hand. Girls I know, get soooo many messages, one girl Im friends with has gotten 50 messages in one day. I wouldnt have gotten 50 messages in 10 years!!!
<<Not spoiled. Guys (at least the ones I'm interested in) generally don't look twice at my profile since I don't look like a supermodel. And the messages I do get are from guys that just don't do it for me. Weeding through them all is frustrating...for everyone.0 -
It's sad that all guys say they want a "smart" woman. They get one in front of them and then they end up feeling intimidated. I'm not even going for a PhD yet and they were just scared by my BS in Engineering!I finally took my "what I'm doing now" off of my profile, because evidently getting a PhD in engineering is too intimidating. I still MIGHT get one or two emails a month.
OOOO Yeah Girl! I remember the first time I was on Match... it asks, "Where do you see yourself in 10 years" or something like that. I put "getting my physics PhD." Crickets!!!0 -
It's sad that all guys say they want a "smart" woman. They get one in front of them and then they end up feeling intimidated. I'm not even going for a PhD yet and they were just scared by my BS in Engineering!I finally took my "what I'm doing now" off of my profile, because evidently getting a PhD in engineering is too intimidating. I still MIGHT get one or two emails a month.
OOOO Yeah Girl! I remember the first time I was on Match... it asks, "Where do you see yourself in 10 years" or something like that. I put "getting my physics PhD." Crickets!!!
interesting. i've noticed something similar. I have a BA in physics/math and an MA in french lit. I notice i get different reactions depending on how i answer the what did you study question. i admit it's to the point now where i dont even mention the physics degree mainly because i'm working in a completely different field, but also in general i hate having to explain the switch especially since it ends up coming off s me saying "because i'm awesome. i'm a genius. and i'm good at just about everything" :laugh:
but really i think it's more about people's expectations and stereotypes. they (meaning those without a science and math background) expect sciencey folk to be a certain way.0 -
I tend to agree that is easier for women... Even if the messages that we receive aren't exactly.... Great.
Men generally have to put the work in and send out the messages. At least this has been my experience.. When I was on OKC, I think I messaged 2 guys total, and received quite a few.
It is really all about how you present yourself, just like everybody else is saying. You sound bitter, and nobody finds bitter to be attractive.
But, OKC is terrible... And I think I'd rather live the rest of my life alone with a bunch of cats then try it again.0 -
Why you aint got no play, playa?
No seriously, though, you obviously just suck at it. It is probably a good choice that you moved on.0 -
i admit it's to the point now where i dont even mention the physics degree mainly because i'm working in a completely different field, but also in general i hate having to explain the switch especially since it ends up coming off s me saying "because i'm awesome. i'm a genius. and i'm good at just about everything" :laugh:
but really i think it's more about people's expectations and stereotypes. they (meaning those without a science and math background) expect sciencey folk to be a certain way.
Even if they've been getting to know you for a little while, those stereotypes really impact a budding relationship. It kills me sometimes when guys ask me what I do and they nod and smile when I say, "I do admin work... I make sure everyone else knows when their due dates are." Which is a true statement. I actually try to avoid getting any deeper into it but when I want to run a guy off that's actually one of two things I tell him to guarantee he'll never come back.0 -
Honestly, I'm just relieved to read all these messages and realize how we're all frustrated! I too shut down my last online account after the only two men to contact me were either my grandfather's age or handicapped (he was autistic and asked me if I had nice tits, so that was AWESOME).
I think my profiles were fairly normal so maybe they didn't stand out enough or maybe I'm still just too large to get the kind of man that interests me. I do believe there are good men out there, I'm just not sure where they're hiding and what I need to do to get a little attention, haha...
I will admit I'm starting to have those same bitter feelings, and once you reach that point, you might as well step away from the game... bitterness is not pretty and everyone can see/ feel it a mile away. So for now, I'm going to stay focused on a message I heard recently for single people. Become the person that the person you want, will be attracted to... simple right? So I'm running a mud run, going to church, and hanging out at Best Buy, haha... he better be there!0 -
WOW glad I never came across you on there. Oh wait I did. Your profile was insulting.0
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WOW glad I never came across you on there. Oh wait I did. Your profile was insulting.
Was it as bitter and angry as I think it was?0 -
mostly condescending. Like THIS IS WHO I AM AND I NEED THIS KIND OF WOMAN SO I CAN PRESENT TO THE WORLD THAT I HAVE THE WHOLE PACKAGE- I DONT REALLY CARE ABOUT YOUR PERSONALITY AS LONG AS YOU ARE WELL EDUCATED, RICH, CLASSY AND MAKE ME LOOK GOOD IN PUBLIC. THANK YOU.0
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Do you WANT to view my inbox? Easy my *kitten*...
Oh yeah feeling ya there!0 -
Do you WANT to view my inbox? Easy my *kitten*...
Oh yeah feeling ya there!
Ive learned not to take the bait on this one - no one REALLY wants to see anyone else's inbox lol0 -
unless you're a black woman, then you're pretty much the female equivalent of the guy who admits to be 5 feet tall online :laugh:
part of the reason i dont do online dating as much is that it's not really worth my time. I do far far better irl than i do online. a sister can't get no e-love :sad:
I agree0
