I guess people just have different views on it. And this guy sounds like a total douche! I would be heartbroken if I was engaged only to find my fiance was still shagging a FWB :explode:

That's the thing!!! I feel obligated to msg her and tell her!!!! I would want to know!!! I feel like a home wrecker!!!

You're a FWB, I'm not sure it's your place.

You should comment to him though.

Personally, I'd never do that to a gf/fiance/wife. Single is one thing, but committed is committed.

I agree. I think you should confront him and if you don't feel comfortable with him being engaged then end it. But I don't think it's you're place to tell her. That's his business. You're his FWB not in a relationship with him.

My exhusband called and asked if my offer of a safe place to stay (my home / his OWN room) was still open... and 3 weeks later he showed up. And tried to get us back together.... I was wary but still had an open mind about it.... one week later I get a phone call at work from his WIFE. Yes, he had just married this woman 3 weeks prior and this was the 2nd time he had married her. I didn't even know he had been married after we divorced.

Fortunately it never had progressed to a sexual relationship because he had groundwork to fix (trust issues) between us before I would take it to that level... but OMG! He married her and then pretty much left her and came to my house begging for US to get back together.

Needless to say he didn't live here very long and his now exwife and myself are friends (on FB at least) ... we are in two different states.

Some people are just ridiculous with their idea of a relationship.

I would never expect that the man I was engaged to was still carrying on a FWB relationship. I've had one and even without expressed rules there are rules that are expected anyhow. (at least I think so!)

I am not defending the guy as a paragon of virtue but unless an expressed and agreed upon stipulation that neither party see anyone else while maintaining the FWB situation I also fail to see justification of outrage.

Can't speak for OP, but if it were me, I'd like to have been able to make the decision about whether or not I was sleeping with someone else's fiance.

It all gets back to drawing up the ground rules for what is now common but still an unusual arrangement.
Personally I would want some exclusivity if I was to try but that is more of a not wanting to be round 2 for someone in a night but the main point is don`t assume that the other person sees things the same way as you/I may when entering into what is a non traditional association.

Can't speak for OP, but if it were me, I'd like to have been able to make the decision about whether or not I was sleeping with someone else's fiance.

EXACTLY!

Am I the only one who thinks that when you agree to a FWB situation, you sort of lose the right to complain about whatever else your "friend" has going on? You can either handle it or you can't.

That is what I am trying to say too.

Am I the only one who thinks that when you agree to a FWB situation, you sort of lose the right to complain about whatever else your "friend" has going on? You can either handle it or you can't.

I am not defending the guy as a paragon of virtue but unless an expressed and agreed upon stipulation that neither party see anyone else while maintaining the FWB situation I also fail to see justification of outrage.

Not necessarily, it all depends what kind of 'arrangement' you have!

The OP said this:

. I have had one guy where we have been fwb for 3 years. If one of us gets into a relationship, we have always told each other and stopped.

In such an 'honest' set up, where both parties are in it on a level, I really dont see why the guy has to lie to both his fiance AND his FWB!!! To me, that's a proper douche!

Am I the only one who thinks that when you agree to a FWB situation, you sort of lose the right to complain about whatever else your "friend" has going on? You can either handle it or you can't.

That is what I am trying to say too.

I also don't think though your FWB should be using you while cheating on his significant other and not let you know. It's one thing if you know and don't care but it's another thing if they lie or withhold information...just because you're only having sex doesn't mean you deserve to get treated like s**t and be a pawn in someone else's game. I'd like to know if I'm helping to aid a cheater.

So if he isn`t married but has another or several other ladies he is FWB with or seeing as a casual relationship it changes it?
All I am saying is if you are going to enter into a non conventional sexual relationship then everyone needs to be damn sure of the terms up front and not feel they were misled later.

I think the part that gets me is that he was complaining about some other person who was cheating on their SO but he was doing the same thing.

If they had an honest FWB relationship as was stated he should have told her that he was involved with someone and if he was engaged with someone more then likely he has been in a relationship with that person for awhile.

I would not tell the finance anything but just tell the guy you found out he was engaged and don't want to see him any more and to have a nice life.

I guess I have a different definition of FWB than most women because I just don't agree that your "friend" in the FWB scenario owes you any explanation at all about what goes on when he is not with you. That's what FWB is, in my opinion. You are not entitled to details about the rest of his life. You are not entitled to get pissed at him because he's in an actual relationship with someone else and didn't tell you. FWB is keeping your legs open and your mouth shut. Again, my opinion.