I'm Very Pretty
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Can someone explain to me how a guy acting like a douche,which is a tangible thing (words,actions etc) but has some abstract and arbitrary quality that we will call "confidence" is desirable in either the short or long term?
I was in a relationship with this guy for 2 and 1/2 years. His confidence is what attracted me to him. The first year of our relationship he was really sweet. The rest of our relationship he was mentally abusive towards me so that is why I associate confidence with a guy acting like a douche. I stayed with him for so long because of how good the first year was but eventually I just got sick of his actions. It also why I am bitter.0 -
I see many of the gals getting overly excited about 1 or 2 dates thinking he's the greatest guy ever and then when dude isn't interested he is an instant douche.
Funny you say this... b/c when I tell women on here not to judge a guy as awesome because of a few nice dates, I feel like a lot of people jump on me for being a kill joy.0 -
my girlfriends and i used a phrase in high school. it was aimed at this ONE particular guy that was cocky and hot, but truly a jerk.
jerk cancels out cute.
so, for me you could be this totally confident, hot, alpha male, but if you come across as a jerk ( at all) i'm not going to be the least bit attracted to you......... cuz jerk cancels out cute. :-) that's how it works in my world.Can someone explain to me how a guy acting like a douche,which is a tangible thing (words,actions etc) but has some abstract and arbitrary quality that we will call "confidence" is desirable in either the short or long term?
His "douche-ness" cancels out the attraction of his confidence and brings his desire factor back to zero. At least for me it does.0 -
I am kind of depressed that I don't get the creepy messages. Maybe I need a blonde wig.
Don't worry, I don't either.
I am also one who doesn't get any messages...0 -
No wonder women hate men.
Every bad guy negates ten good guys.
These things aren't true for me or most (of course not all) of the women I know. 'Course, I choose to surround myself with certain types of people... but anyway. Sane, intelligent people don't attribute the characteristics of one to the masses. And I say this having dated my share of j*ckoffs.
I got a message recently that opened with "You have a beautiful smile." Which is true, actually, but I'm not smiling in my picture so how the crap would he know? :huh: Compliments are great... when they make sense.0 -
I see many of the gals getting overly excited about 1 or 2 dates thinking he's the greatest guy ever and then when dude isn't interested he is an instant douche.
Funny you say this... b/c when I tell women on here not to judge a guy as awesome because of a few nice dates, I feel like a lot of people jump on me for being a kill joy.
People don't like honest, they want to hear what they want to hear. 1 or 2 dates is nothing to get excited about, make it 2 months and we'll talk.0 -
I am kind of depressed that I don't get the creepy messages. Maybe I need a blonde wig.
I can send you some of my creepy ones lol then you wont wish anymore lol0 -
People don't like honest, they want to hear what they want to hear.
Not true of all people, my friend. Lots of them, sure. It's why I'm so selective.
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My take on the Nice guy vs. Confident guy:
1. You can find both
2. What I have learned from here is, nice guys get old after awhile.
3. Maybe when you find the right confident guy he will also be nice, because he is very much into you!
4. A lot of crying on here today... mount up soldiers!0 -
I see many of the gals getting overly excited about 1 or 2 dates thinking he's the greatest guy ever and then when dude isn't interested he is an instant douche.
Funny you say this... b/c when I tell women on here not to judge a guy as awesome because of a few nice dates, I feel like a lot of people jump on me for being a kill joy.
People don't like honest, they want to hear what they want to hear. 1 or 2 dates is nothing to get excited about, make it 2 months and we'll talk.
Hey I get excited for a date because I haven't had one in ages but I don't call the guy a douche if it just didn't work out.0 -
Never used anything but Ladies (capitalised please!) and Women.I'm not generalizing but I'm sure when boys are with the boys they talk about women/ dates/ etc using other words than "lady" or "woman". I'm not saying everybody but I have overheard many conversations between men at happy hours, restaurants, bars, parties, etc...
:laugh:
(Actually I always use girl regardless of everything - chick when I'm in PUA mode)0 -
You are pretty, in a manly sort of way...0
