Why are you not a catch?
Replies
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Why I may be a "challenge" for some to deal with...or so I have been told:
I cuss...and I really like it.
I cook but since being single not nearly as much as I used to....I think it is dumb cooking for one.
I have a dog and she sleeps with me.
I am at the gym 5-7 nights a week for a couple hours at a time...I don't want to compromise this.
I am loud.
I am not a size 2...Please add a 1 in front of it. Thank you.
My schedule is VERY hectic with work, school and gym.
I drink like a fish.
I'm 5'2...if you are a legs man...keep it moving...
And I'm sure many more to some...:flowerforyou:0 -
- I have generalized anxiety. Some of the most random things can give me a panic attack (one time I was going to make stuffed squash but we only had acorn squash instead of the butternut squash that I was mentally prepared for. I had to take a moment).
- I like animals more than people. Until proven otherwise, my cats and snake are more important than you. I have zero qualms about playing up the crazy cat lady role. I think it's funny because I'm still so young.
- I am a tomboy. If I can get away with not wearing making up and putting my hair in a ponytail I will. I don't feel any less confident unless it's not appropriate for the environment.
- I am a know-it-all. If something is wrong there is no hesitation on my part to correct it. I don't consider it rude since I appreciate when someone does that for me. I find this only genuinely upsets people that are insecure about their intelligence, which only upsets them more when I point that out.
- I am generally pretty tactless about feelings that I consider illogical. Or if I've offered a solution and whoever keeps complaining I eventually tell them I'm not interested in listening to their ***** fest because it's entirely in control of their happiness.
- Emotions in general make me incredibly uncomfortable. I'd rather ignore something that makes me feel negatively until I can sleep on it and decide if it's justified or not. Even then it's a source of anxiety for me to bring up something. Crying from anyone I find very unpleasant.
- I have my routine and I don't want it disrupted. I'm busy and unless someone can work around that or fit themselves in it's not going to work.0 -
34 with no kids and divorced twice, women think there's something wrong with me, and they may be right.
Work full time great career, but I also work on the side with a burlesque group, I don't know many women confident enough to be ok with that.
I have a houseful of pets, I used to do volunteer work at a shelter, and when the exwife and I split up I got the house and the pets, they are well taken care of though.
I have very low self confidence, so I don't really approach women, and women like a confident guy, don't get me wrong, I know where my strong points lie, unfortunately, I don't think my appearance is one of them.
I'm a geek with high standards, I don't want someone who is content being out of shape and overweight, I want someone who is striving to better themselves just like I am.
Anyone want to add anything for me? Or if you're feeling really nice contradict? lol0 -
I'm too quiet. I think too much before I talk and therefore almost never talk.
I'm too nice/easy going. Not the clingy type of Mr. Nice Guy, but the kind who doesn't make decisions. This sounds simple to fix, but it's so hard for me because I truly do not care about where to go, what to do, what to eat, what to wear, etc. As long as I'm with good company I'm happy.
Beer is a hobby of mine, which probably makes me look like an alcoholic.
I'm also probably a bit too modest and never highlight any of my accomplishments or good qualities. And if they're brought up I downplay or brush them off.0 -
Hmmmm...
So apperantly I can be a little intimidating (so I've been told)
I TALK alot and fast ......
I like my independence
I'm blunt and will tell you like it is
I don't lie or sugarcoat things
I have alot of "pretty pretty boy that I call friends" lol (couldn't resist) seriously almost all my friends are male and this can hurt a less self confident guys
Oh and I'm happy with who I am so I'm not much into changing to make someone else happy0 -
Nothing is ever good enough and I always want more. Minute I find someone who quells that will be the one I get married to.0
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* Control freak (well, except in one area :blushing:)
* Think like a man (sounds appealing to men in theory but really isn't in reality) :noway:
* Loose skin and stretch marks. :sad:
* Complete slob.0 -
I'm too real, to be real.
I need to be dumbed down
My outlook for life and love is everyone's dream, but only my reality.0 -
*I fall hard... every time!
*I over-analyze
*I don't have a lot of free time b/c I'm a single mom
*I'm not and will never be a size 00 -
This list could take a while, but these are the big ones:
* Totally over-schedule myself and have little 'free' time...but I hate being bored
* Am usually far TOO honest with people...don't want the truth, don't ask the question
* My sense of humor is very sarcastic and people take what I say wrong...enough said
* I am so afraid of failure/rejection, that I become so overly shy when meeting new people...hoping that losing the weight will help my self confidence
* I am kind of messy...I really hate folding laundry and washing dishes0 -
i overthink everything.
i'm pretty funny looking.
i'm a bit loud/vulgar - in the sense i can make dirty jokes and will laugh at them too.
i don't really know what i want.
i'm mature for my age - the 19 year old guys i know are too busy getting drunk to notice nice girls like me :blushing:
i can't articulate my feelings, like when asked 'why do you like me?' my reply is 'just do.' i can't show my emotions very well.0 -
I have alot of "pretty pretty boy that I call friends" lol (couldn't resist) seriously almost all my friends are male and this can hurt a less self confident guys
Dammit, now I am singing that song!
(Actually I kind of like the song and don't mind at all)0 -
i'm an aquarius. LOL
i might be a lot of fun and know how to have a good time, but i'm emotionally detached.
i might have wild and crazy ideas, but i like things MY way, on MY terms.
it's like the good has some bad too :-)
oh and apparently my NOT drinking is a deal breaker for quite a few men :-)
this mostly except I can compromise and I like a drink!!0 -
Been single too long and not sure how to be with anyone anymore
I have no filter on my tongue ( sugarcoating not allowed)
I overanalyze most things
Do not like being "spoiled"
Just to name a few.0 -
Wow.. interesting thread. I still think I'm a "good catch" but I think it will be difficult to find a likeminded, compatible mate because I'm:
A single black mom (ok, technically I don't know that I'm black, but that's the culture I identify with)
Almost 40 (I'm a hit with the 60+crowd looking for a caretaker or the under 25 crowd looking for an easy lay)
Religious (which I always thought was a good thing, but not in today's culture)
Technical degrees (guys always say they want smart women, but in my experience that's not who they appear to go for)
Analytical (though, Single Peeps has shown me that most women are this way, not just me)
Intense personality (work hard play hard and call people out when I'm tired of the lines they're feeding me)
Heavy (even at my thinnest, I have always been built like a linebacker)
Subscribe to the Harley Marriage Builder's theory (and require that kind of commitment from my partner)
Insist on living as debt free as possible (you would think this is a good thing, but it offends many people)
Don't drink (Edit: just saw the post about not drinking- yep this is a BIG turnoff)
AND finally....because I've already been in one failed marriage, discovered how nice it is being single, and am highly unlikely to give up my independence for some man who brings more work and stress than benefit to my life. Too many women put up with poor treatment because their fantasies about "the perfect man" cause them to overlook very real issues.
Like I said in the other thread, I don't take "not being a 'great catch' "" to mean that I will be "forever alone." I get asked out a lot and it's fun meeting new people. I just usually know it's not going to go anywhere because the men who catch my attention for any length of time are a very rare breed. Also, I'm fairly outgoing, so I think I will always be surrounded by friends and activities.0 -
I'm just going to stop now.
Quitter!
As for myself. I'd like to think that it has a lot to do with my inability to approach girls with any sense of confidence, my shyness usually still dominates even when intoxicated. So since I'm not approaching girls and they aren't seeking me out to talk to, I blame my shyness. I don't think there is anything wrong with the way I look/dress. With that said I can be very passive aggressive, which I think largely comes from my bad past experiences with women. I tend to just assume the worst case scenario which leads to arguments. It doesn't help that I over analyze everything either lol If I really wanted to be super OCD I could probably write a book on this topic0 -
I'm just going to stop now.
Quitter!
I know.. I was going to do that but then I'd never shut up.0 -
Subscribe to the Harley Marriage Builder's theory (and require that kind of commitment from my partner)
Can you explain this? I have never heard of it.0 -
So I've been told.... I do what I want when I want with no consideration of anyone around me.
Could also add I'm blunt, I don't pick up on peoples feelings, I will do anything I think is funny, Oh I'm sure the list goes on....
^^^^ All this and I will raise you:
I can be selfish
I dont open up very easily
I am often disgusted with people's whiny attitudes if they do nothing to fix it, and unfortunately I often cant help but tell them
I am a social butterfly
I am always busy and always add more things to my plate
I am an *kitten*
I spent a long time sowing my wild oats!!
I still love me though!!0 -
Hmmm! Why is it I feel more comfortable with this thread, than the catch one?? :laugh:
My flaws:
*I'm an emotional wreck - cry at the drop of a hat for happy things as well as sad. Nothing to do with hormones, just always been like that :sad: I'm also very passionate, sensitive and prone to over react. Yep, I'm led by my emotions...
* I always have something to say!! (Not sure if that is good or bad sometimes, but it made me think when my ex said it, not as a compliment :huh: )
*Can't sit still!! I often think I have 2 brains as I'm always thinking about several things at once. Which means sometimes I have poor concentration levels..........:laugh:
*I'm very honest and trustworthy and giving. I tolerate a lot. But if someone takes advantage of my generous nature, I'm unforgiving........
*You would never call me 'laid back'!!! :laugh: But I dont let small things annoy me and am very flexible and accommodating.
*I'm allergic to animals
*I'm a free spirited, social butterfly
*I hate being told what to do! Anti authoritarian in every respect, hence why I'm self employed
No wonder I am single :bigsmile: :noway: :smokin:
Sorry, I had to add in a few postives in there as I was getting depressed with all my negs :laugh:0 -
I'm not attractive to the typical inhabitant of this country, I suspect.
</forever arone>
(I don't really speak like that. I sound like a middle class English person!)
Edit: please feel free to comment/critique. You can find my profile as my username on various UK dating sites!
</no shame>0 -
I'm not a catch because:
I'm slightly insecure
Don't open up easily
Generally don't like asking for help
Slow to get to know another person
I don't usually dress up
With getting to know someone I go from very reserved and much more outgoing/social when I know them better.
I don't really flirt - kinda too shy
Hang out with all guys - at work and off work.
Work in Construction and plan on staying with my job.0 -
I’ve been having relationship issues lately, so it was easy making this list.
- I don’t talk about emotions/feelings
- I hate confrontations/arguments
- I’m stubborn
- I don’t ask or take help, even when I really need it
- I suck at communication. I don’t call or text my bf.
- I am really shy, especially in a group setting
- I still haven’t figured out my career/job situation
- I am financial mess
- I have two cats that sleep in my bed
- I live with my mother and I will always be by her side
- I suck at dancing and trying new things
- I’m a virgin
Well, that was depressing. I ‘m gonna try to write about why I am a catch to feel better about myself
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Subscribe to the Harley Marriage Builder's theory (and require that kind of commitment from my partner)
Can you explain this? I have never heard of it.
Here is my summary of Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts. I will post another thread with more details, and you can read the article I condensed this from here: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3550_summary.html
- We each have a love bank and everyone deposits or withdraws love units from their accounts through their words/actions.
- Any destructive natural instincts and learned habits can be replaced with ones that make love bank deposits and avoid withdrawals
- To stay in love you must learn about and meet most of each other’s important emotional needs in a way that fulfills your spouse and is enjoyable for you, too.
- To counter busyness and apathy that destroys marriages, set aside time every week to give each other undivided attention to meet the emotional needs of affection, conversation, recreational companionship and sexual fulfillment
- Eliminate Love Busters (demanding, disrespectful, angry, annoying, independent and dishonest behaviors that make love bank withdrawals)
- Adhere to the policy of radical (not mean or disrespectful!) honesty so you can understand each other and make the adjustments that are crucial to happiness.
- Understand each of us has a Giver (makes others happy at our expense) and a Taker (makes ourselves happy at others expense). These two primitive aspects of our personality are usually balanced in our dealings with others, but in marriage they tend to take turns being in charge.
- Understand how when things are great and we’re in the “State of Intimacy” our Giver often does stuff/makes decisions that ultimately make us unhappy, thus causing our Taker to rise up in anger. When this “State of Conflict” doesn’t resolve the issue, a “State of Withdrawal” results.
- Marital instincts do not lead to fair negotiation. They either lead to giving away the store (State of Intimacy) or robbing the bank (State of Conflict). A rule to guarantee that no one gets hurt, the ultimate goal in fair negotiation, is the Policy of Joint Agreement: Never do anything without an enthusiastic agreement between you and your spouse
- Guidelines for Successful Negotiation (it’s not all about compromise- you BOTH have to feel good about the decision)0 -
Subscribe to the Harley Marriage Builder's theory (and require that kind of commitment from my partner)
Can you explain this? I have never heard of it.
Here is my summary of Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts. I will post another thread with more details, and you can read the article I condensed this from here: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3550_summary.html
- We each have a love bank and everyone deposits or withdraws love units from their accounts through their words/actions.
- Any destructive natural instincts and learned habits can be replaced with ones that make love bank deposits and avoid withdrawals
- To stay in love you must learn about and meet most of each other’s important emotional needs in a way that fulfills your spouse and is enjoyable for you, too.
- To counter busyness and apathy that destroys marriages, set aside time every week to give each other undivided attention to meet the emotional needs of affection, conversation, recreational companionship and sexual fulfillment
- Eliminate Love Busters (demanding, disrespectful, angry, annoying, independent and dishonest behaviors that make love bank withdrawals)
- Adhere to the policy of radical (not mean or disrespectful!) honesty so you can understand each other and make the adjustments that are crucial to happiness.
- Understand each of us has a Giver (makes others happy at our expense) and a Taker (makes ourselves happy at others expense). These two primitive aspects of our personality are usually balanced in our dealings with others, but in marriage they tend to take turns being in charge.
- Understand how when things are great and we’re in the “State of Intimacy” our Giver often does stuff/makes decisions that ultimately make us unhappy, thus causing our Taker to rise up in anger. When this “State of Conflict” doesn’t resolve the issue, a “State of Withdrawal” results.
- Marital instincts do not lead to fair negotiation. They either lead to giving away the store (State of Intimacy) or robbing the bank (State of Conflict). A rule to guarantee that no one gets hurt, the ultimate goal in fair negotiation, is the Policy of Joint Agreement: Never do anything without an enthusiastic agreement between you and your spouse
- Guidelines for Successful Negotiation (it’s not all about compromise- you BOTH have to feel good about the decision)
Wow,I like the sounds of those.0 -
Subscribe to the Harley Marriage Builder's theory (and require that kind of commitment from my partner)
Can you explain this? I have never heard of it.
Here is my summary of Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts. I will post another thread with more details, and you can read the article I condensed this from here: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3550_summary.html
- We each have a love bank and everyone deposits or withdraws love units from their accounts through their words/actions.
- Any destructive natural instincts and learned habits can be replaced with ones that make love bank deposits and avoid withdrawals
- To stay in love you must learn about and meet most of each other’s important emotional needs in a way that fulfills your spouse and is enjoyable for you, too.
- To counter busyness and apathy that destroys marriages, set aside time every week to give each other undivided attention to meet the emotional needs of affection, conversation, recreational companionship and sexual fulfillment
- Eliminate Love Busters (demanding, disrespectful, angry, annoying, independent and dishonest behaviors that make love bank withdrawals)
- Adhere to the policy of radical (not mean or disrespectful!) honesty so you can understand each other and make the adjustments that are crucial to happiness.
- Understand each of us has a Giver (makes others happy at our expense) and a Taker (makes ourselves happy at others expense). These two primitive aspects of our personality are usually balanced in our dealings with others, but in marriage they tend to take turns being in charge.
- Understand how when things are great and we’re in the “State of Intimacy” our Giver often does stuff/makes decisions that ultimately make us unhappy, thus causing our Taker to rise up in anger. When this “State of Conflict” doesn’t resolve the issue, a “State of Withdrawal” results.
- Marital instincts do not lead to fair negotiation. They either lead to giving away the store (State of Intimacy) or robbing the bank (State of Conflict). A rule to guarantee that no one gets hurt, the ultimate goal in fair negotiation, is the Policy of Joint Agreement: Never do anything without an enthusiastic agreement between you and your spouse
- Guidelines for Successful Negotiation (it’s not all about compromise- you BOTH have to feel good about the decision)
I know these!! Good stuff if BOTH partners are committed 100%. Me and ex did the whole love deposit thing. Well I did anyway...0 -
Subscribe to the Harley Marriage Builder's theory (and require that kind of commitment from my partner)
Can you explain this? I have never heard of it.
Here is my summary of Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts. I will post another thread with more details, and you can read the article I condensed this from here: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3550_summary.html
- We each have a love bank and everyone deposits or withdraws love units from their accounts through their words/actions.
- Any destructive natural instincts and learned habits can be replaced with ones that make love bank deposits and avoid withdrawals
- To stay in love you must learn about and meet most of each other’s important emotional needs in a way that fulfills your spouse and is enjoyable for you, too.
- To counter busyness and apathy that destroys marriages, set aside time every week to give each other undivided attention to meet the emotional needs of affection, conversation, recreational companionship and sexual fulfillment
- Eliminate Love Busters (demanding, disrespectful, angry, annoying, independent and dishonest behaviors that make love bank withdrawals)
- Adhere to the policy of radical (not mean or disrespectful!) honesty so you can understand each other and make the adjustments that are crucial to happiness.
- Understand each of us has a Giver (makes others happy at our expense) and a Taker (makes ourselves happy at others expense). These two primitive aspects of our personality are usually balanced in our dealings with others, but in marriage they tend to take turns being in charge.
- Understand how when things are great and we’re in the “State of Intimacy” our Giver often does stuff/makes decisions that ultimately make us unhappy, thus causing our Taker to rise up in anger. When this “State of Conflict” doesn’t resolve the issue, a “State of Withdrawal” results.
- Marital instincts do not lead to fair negotiation. They either lead to giving away the store (State of Intimacy) or robbing the bank (State of Conflict). A rule to guarantee that no one gets hurt, the ultimate goal in fair negotiation, is the Policy of Joint Agreement: Never do anything without an enthusiastic agreement between you and your spouse
- Guidelines for Successful Negotiation (it’s not all about compromise- you BOTH have to feel good about the decision)
I like these. It is mainly how I feel on how a relationship should work.0 -
Because I'm immature, perverted, and slightly irresponsible when I drink. Not when I have a good man, though. I'll still be totally loyal. I'm just dumb, haha.0
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Im not trying to have babies
Im not trying to find a traditional marriage
I have no family
My job doesnt pay very well
Im always surrounded by gorgeous guys between the ages of 26-35, which kind of intimidates any would-be approachers
I will disappear for a few days at a time on a wild adventure
I wont apologise when I get back
Yes I was sleeping at the band's house
Yes I was in the hot tub
Yes you should trust me
Yes Im 3 ft taller than you and I just put on 4 inch heels0 -
apparently because I'm divorced with two teenage sons
and also a taurus so stubborn as hell0
This discussion has been closed.