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destined to be a cat lady
toriaenator
Posts: 423 Member
I know this is stupid but lately I've been feeling super down about guys and dating and love in general...I haven't had a guy in my life in forever, even just to flirt with... the guys I'm attracted to always turn out gay, and the ones attracted to me end up being stalkers or molesters (and I'm not exaggerating this. there hasn't been a single guy in my life that did not fit into the above categories of gay,molester, or stalker [as in follow me home stalker])
i know there are plenty of fish in the sea or whatever, but clearly they aren't digging me as bait haha. or maybe I'm blind to them now because my past experiences have made me weary.
another problem is that now I'm just pessimistic. i feel like true love never can happen because there will always be someone who loves the other more. i feel like its impossible for those couples who have been together for so long to truly feel in love like they first did.. even weddings make me sad because I'm secretly thinking "wow, chances are you will join the 50% of couples who divorce"
this post makes me sound super dramatic and annoying LOL and i really wouldn't mind living with 67 cats but felt like rambling
i know there are plenty of fish in the sea or whatever, but clearly they aren't digging me as bait haha. or maybe I'm blind to them now because my past experiences have made me weary.
another problem is that now I'm just pessimistic. i feel like true love never can happen because there will always be someone who loves the other more. i feel like its impossible for those couples who have been together for so long to truly feel in love like they first did.. even weddings make me sad because I'm secretly thinking "wow, chances are you will join the 50% of couples who divorce"
this post makes me sound super dramatic and annoying LOL and i really wouldn't mind living with 67 cats but felt like rambling
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Replies
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I'm destined to be a cat lady too!0
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From what I can see of you in your picture you are very attractive so that is not an issue.
I have no doubt from what you write that you are putting out a very negative vibe so maybe try to work on that.
That of course is very easy for someone to say but it can be done and along with it do some honest soul searching about what you want in a guy.0 -
Why stop at 67?
Several years ago I figured I'd end up being a creepy old guy which is always grumpy. But at least that can be fun in it's own right.
(But really, I agree with Carl)0 -
If you've tried some options - like having friends, family set you up, and have tried internet dating or something similar and had no luck you are not alone.
There are some great cat breeds out there - you might be very happy. Cat's love unconditionally, although they do tend to stalk. :-)0 -
Ha, I feel the same way. Cat lady, witch down the street, whatever you want to call it; I'll start collecting Precious Moments figurines now and call them my babies.0
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why are you attracted to unavailable or unsuitable men?
i think you might need to figure that out. if you're only paying attention to the wrong guys then you wont be able to see the right ones.0 -
{{{{hugs}}}}
Better to be a cat lady than with an evil, abusive man.0 -
thanks everyone, i cracked up at all of your answers so i am not a negative nancy anymore, at least for now
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so i am not a negative nancy anymore, at least for now
nice!0 -
I know this is stupid but lately I've been feeling super down about guys and dating and love in general...I haven't had a guy in my life in forever, even just to flirt with... the guys I'm attracted to always turn out gay, and the ones attracted to me end up being stalkers or molesters (and I'm not exaggerating this. there hasn't been a single guy in my life that did not fit into the above categories of gay,molester, or stalker [as in follow me home stalker])
i know there are plenty of fish in the sea or whatever, but clearly they aren't digging me as bait haha. or maybe I'm blind to them now because my past experiences have made me weary.
another problem is that now I'm just pessimistic. i feel like true love never can happen because there will always be someone who loves the other more. i feel like its impossible for those couples who have been together for so long to truly feel in love like they first did.. even weddings make me sad because I'm secretly thinking "wow, chances are you will join the 50% of couples who divorce"
this post makes me sound super dramatic and annoying LOL and i really wouldn't mind living with 67 cats but felt like rambling
7 Cats and 6 dogs, they can eat me when I die... so no worries about a fuineral either ^^0 -
I think we all feel like this sometimes :flowerforyou: Try and erase it from your mind and think positive. Life is unpredictable and exciting, you just never know what's waiting for you around the next corner! :bigsmile:0
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I'll hook you up on cat stuff, just come see me.
You'll find someone, it's still too early to call it a cat lady lifetime. 0 -
I'm allergic to cats, can I be a crazy old dog guy instead?0
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Not a chance! You two are gorgeous, it will happen. Hold off on any cat purchases!0
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I'm destined to be a cat lady too!
Give me a call, I'll take care of that 0 -
I think there are times when all single people think that they are going to be alone forever.0
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Find a guy that hates shopping for clothes.0
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Both of you are gorgeous, you'll find the right guy soon enough0
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Well cats are cheaper than dogs. I have 3 dogs that all need to be groomed monthly. HUGE mistake. My story is different because I have been married and do have 2 great kids. But I feel like I'll be alone for the rest of my life too. I throw pity parties for myself quite often. In reality I know it's silly to think the way we do but it gets hard to stay positive. Lets try together!0
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Well cats are cheaper than dogs. I have 3 dogs that all need to be groomed monthly. HUGE mistake. My story is different because I have been married and do have 2 great kids. But I feel like I'll be alone for the rest of my life too. I throw pity parties for myself quite often. In reality I know it's silly to think the way we do but it gets hard to stay positive. Lets try together!
eh, I'm not a big fan of saying dogs have to be groomed.
I can't even tell you the last time my dogs had a bath. but you're not supposed to bath labs.0 -
To the OP-Where are you meeting men? There may be something askew about your day to day activities. It could be something simple easily fixed.0
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I've begun to take on that mind set myself. Every guy I have had in my life has just taken advantage of me. Honestly, I don't blame the guys. I'm sure there are nice ones out there, but if they are interested in me, then I'm not interested in them. So I pretty much think it is my fault. And since I have tried to change who I am attracted to and still ended up with the same crap. It must be me and I don't know how to change it. Guess I'll be a cat lady too. After the kids move out though. It might be too embarrassing growing up in a house with the cat lady. I've got a starter though so I'll spoil that one rotten first.0
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I'm already the crazy dog lady. (at least that's what landlords around here think...) Then I had to stay for my PhD, making me even MORE unsuitable for most guys.
I have figured one thing out, though. Guys in my general dating range my tend to be more superficial and judgmental about looks and such... but older guys are more likely to have their priorities in order. Too bad I refuse to date someone my Mom's age. So... I just have to wait until I get old enough that mid-40s isn't out of my comfort zone.0 -
I agree with this 100%.another problem is that now I'm just pessimistic. i feel like true love never can happen because there will always be someone who loves the other more. i feel like its impossible for those couples who have been together for so long to truly feel in love like they first did.. even weddings make me sad because I'm secretly thinking "wow, chances are you will join the 50% of couples who divorce"
If you actually become a cat lady, then I'll pop by from time to time for a cat sandwich (I know a few very good recipes, and really 67 or 66 cats doesn't make a huge difference - you wouldn't even notice).0 -
I think we all feel like that once in a while. It's a mindset and we just need to remind ourselves to be positive. But just in case, I've already made my SIL promise that she needs to warn me if I start turning into a crazy dog lady (not into cats)...0
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Ha just posted on the forever alone thread how I feel the same way
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I feel exactly the same,im a nice person,but just seem to get hurt whenever i do meet anyone i like-there are men interested in me,but they either just want to get laid or already have a girlfriend-same thing i guess!
I want & deserve more,but it feels like im destined to be alone forever.0 -
I feel the same way - except when I retire (and if I'm still alone) I'm going to be a dog lady. :-)
Don't give up. Who knows, maybe you'll find that guy or maybe you'll come across something far better!0 -
When I start to think like this I realize I need to try to change my mindset. That is when I will get myself out doing something for me to improve my mental and emotional state. If I feel like a negative Nancy, no one would want to be around me, so it is up to me to change that. We all have times in life where we feel like this.
I am not ready to be a cat lady ..... yet. Hope you arent ready either!0
This discussion has been closed.