Having a bad day. :'-(
Options
graysmom2005
Posts: 1,882 Member
I'm sorry that I'm such a Debbie Downer on this group. I feel all I do is whine and I apologize. Sometimes it just feels good to write it out, even if just for yourself.
I'm feeling like I'm at a crossroads, and I'm struggling. I'm tired of looking like I'm wearing a fat suit, and looking into a closet full of my favorite Summer clothes and not feeling confident to even try them on. I hate being in the fitness world and going through this process with eyes on me at the front of the room in my now snug workout clothes. Last night I really thought about throwing in the towel. I wasn't at my ultimate "goal" before this, but I was happy. I ate a good amount, I fit in my clothes, and felt pretty confident (or as confident as I ever can be...which isn't a ton). But then I look at a pair of pants that are sitting there...that I almost fit into..but no matter how much I worked out...no matter how big the deficit...I couldn't lose ANY more. I felt I had no control as to how my body looked as no matter how careful the diet, no matter how killer the workout I was stuck in a plateau. I don't want to go back to that EITHER. I want to wear those jeans and rock them...but right now I can't wear ANY of my jeans and rock them as I'm all swollen up.
It didn't help that my husband and I went out to dinner last night and I know dinner was THOUSANDS of calories. I know I have deficits most days...but I could have evened it out last night...which will really screw up seeing results.
I just feel today like I can't win. I can cut back a few hundred and go back to where I was...or stay feeling horrid for a few more weeks and pray I'm one of the lucky ones who sees a change. Today I don't want to do this anymore. I'm just frustrated and tired of thinking about it and working on it. I'm sorry for always coming here to moan and groan. If you made it this far, thanks for listening.
I'm feeling like I'm at a crossroads, and I'm struggling. I'm tired of looking like I'm wearing a fat suit, and looking into a closet full of my favorite Summer clothes and not feeling confident to even try them on. I hate being in the fitness world and going through this process with eyes on me at the front of the room in my now snug workout clothes. Last night I really thought about throwing in the towel. I wasn't at my ultimate "goal" before this, but I was happy. I ate a good amount, I fit in my clothes, and felt pretty confident (or as confident as I ever can be...which isn't a ton). But then I look at a pair of pants that are sitting there...that I almost fit into..but no matter how much I worked out...no matter how big the deficit...I couldn't lose ANY more. I felt I had no control as to how my body looked as no matter how careful the diet, no matter how killer the workout I was stuck in a plateau. I don't want to go back to that EITHER. I want to wear those jeans and rock them...but right now I can't wear ANY of my jeans and rock them as I'm all swollen up.
It didn't help that my husband and I went out to dinner last night and I know dinner was THOUSANDS of calories. I know I have deficits most days...but I could have evened it out last night...which will really screw up seeing results.
I just feel today like I can't win. I can cut back a few hundred and go back to where I was...or stay feeling horrid for a few more weeks and pray I'm one of the lucky ones who sees a change. Today I don't want to do this anymore. I'm just frustrated and tired of thinking about it and working on it. I'm sorry for always coming here to moan and groan. If you made it this far, thanks for listening.
0
Replies
-
I'm sorry that I'm such a Debbie Downer on this group. I feel all I do is whine and I apologize. Sometimes it just feels good to write it out, even if just for yourself.
I'm feeling like I'm at a crossroads, and I'm struggling. I'm tired of looking like I'm wearing a fat suit, and looking into a closet full of my favorite Summer clothes and not feeling confident to even try them on. I hate being in the fitness world and going through this process with eyes on me at the front of the room in my now snug workout clothes. Last night I really thought about throwing in the towel. I wasn't at my ultimate "goal" before this, but I was happy. I ate a good amount, I fit in my clothes, and felt pretty confident (or as confident as I ever can be...which isn't a ton). But then I look at a pair of pants that are sitting there...that I almost fit into..but no matter how much I worked out...no matter how big the deficit...I couldn't lose ANY more. I felt I had no control as to how my body looked as no matter how careful the diet, no matter how killer the workout I was stuck in a plateau. I don't want to go back to that EITHER. I want to wear those jeans and rock them...but right now I can't wear ANY of my jeans and rock them as I'm all swollen up.
It didn't help that my husband and I went out to dinner last night and I know dinner was THOUSANDS of calories. I know I have deficits most days...but I could have evened it out last night...which will really screw up seeing results.
I just feel today like I can't win. I can cut back a few hundred and go back to where I was...or stay feeling horrid for a few more weeks and pray I'm one of the lucky ones who sees a change. Today I don't want to do this anymore. I'm just frustrated and tired of thinking about it and working on it. I'm sorry for always coming here to moan and groan. If you made it this far, thanks for listening.
It can be really hard, cant it? Hang in there, you've come too far to quit. Sometimes it just helps to get it all out there. I was feeling like that yesterday, and I always feel like I am cluttering up the newsfeed with my whining. How much longer on your reset?0 -
Yuck... sounds like a rough mental day.
And NO need to apologize for sharing how you're feeling. I also feel like it helps to 'get it out there", and it certainly helps with accountability.
I'll tell you what - I have gained about 2 pounds since starting EMtWL, and it seems to want to hang around. I am frustrated by that, (very much, sometimes) but ultimately, what keeps me going is my goal of health.
I figure, I've been overweight for a while. The worst thing that might happen (but probably won't ) is that I'll stay fat, but be exercising and eating more whole, nutritious foods. Honestly, that's better than feeling lethargic and moody (and fat.)
More likely, though, is that slowly, and from a place of better overall health, I'll drop the pounds my body doesn't need. I'm sure that will happen for you, too - and possibly even more quickly than for me, because it sounds like you're already really fit!
If you keep struggling, maybe you could PM Lucia - she seems to have so much knowledge, and well earned perspective as well.
Take care!0 -
Hey u...sorry for your bad day. :frown:
I dont know what to say...except that you have made it this far, say u quit now...and your change might be two or three weeks away...you will miss out on it!
I know its hard, even with my loss Im scared to death of next Friday and what it might bring, and the week after and so on...Ive got no guarantee that it will continue. But I sure as hell aint giving up!!!
IM in control of my destiny bloody hell and I WILL get to my goal, even if its taking me much longer than I initially bargained on!
This is for life, and its MY life... That makes it pretty darn important.
YOU are just as important...dont sell ureself short. (((hugs)))
Oh and come whine anytime u want! We are a "family" here, and thats what family are for! :flowerforyou:0 -
Monday will be the start of week 7 for me... hang in, it does get easier. For me the health benefits trump the dreaded scale.
Cheers,
Jamie 0 -
It's ok to let us know how you are feeling - we need each other to keep us going and we have to be honest in how we are doing or we can't get the support we need. My emotions are like a roller coaster...some days good, some days bad. I feel your pain in the jean department - I'm in the same boat and it is killing me. This is not an easy thing to do, but I encourage you to finish out your last couple weeks. You don't want to have to start all over again because you quit too early! You already know the other way doesn't work...so remember that when you feel like going back to old habits.
It WILL get better....you just have to see it through to the end. Lots of us are fat-suiting it with you - you aren't alone. Just the other day some friends of mine gave off the 'pity' vibes again because they know I'm eating more and not losing yet. It is so humiliating when that happens, but I push through it because I know this is a good thing....even if it feels awful right now.
Hang in there....and cry on our shoulders anytime, just DON'T GIVE UP!0 -
How many weeks you have left in your reset?
You don't have to go back to the way it was before, but maybe you can find some middle ground, like shortening your reset a little bit (by one or two weeks). You're a very active person so your TDEE is very high; maybe eating at cut a bit sooner won't do much harm.
Good luck! :flowerforyou:0 -
Oh hun I'm sorry you are feeling like this
There is absolutely no need to apologise. I'm sure that the majority of us have a bit of a wobble over this whole Eating More lark and we are all here for each other.
Stick with it because it HAS to work. It WILL work. I get that it must be a right bloody pain taking a class with your workout gear feeling tight. Could you maybe get a couple of outfits in the next size just for the time being? If you feel more comfortable maybe you'll stress less about it.
Keep coming back x0 -
Thank you to everyone for your love and support. I'm on week 5 of my cut. I honestly could care less about the scale. Truly. I just want to wear my clothes. And if I could lose some inches that would be great. If it isn't going to happen, I'm ok with cutting back to 2200 or so....I just hate eating all this food on PURPOSE and seeing myself get bigger. My head is telling me, "you have control of this! Stop eating so much and you'll be back in your clothes!" that voice is very loud today. :frown:0
-
Morning !!! You are in week 5 of your cut?? Not reset? So ...does that mean you were eating lower cals, but upped them 5 weeks ago and are eating at TDEE minus a % ? Just trying to better understand.
First of all ..venting and a little whining is allowed : ) it's scary and frustrating stuff. I know. However, sounds like you decided to take this route for a very good reason. You were stalled. No progress despite your efforts. Raising my hand ...I was there. In fact, am there now (again). I just came off 3 weeks of a diet break ..ate TDEE. After a week, I was bloated and just felt plain ole fat. Was up 6 lbs on scale at end of those 3 weeks. As much as I hated seeing it, I knew it wasnt real. To me REAL equals FAT. Wasn't fat, couldn't be. Was water from my body adjusting to increased calories. After two weeks of cut at 15% , I'm down those 6 lbs. I have size 6 jeans waiting for me to slip into (and zip) so I'm continuing on with my eating and lifting. Im in size 8s now ...6 is my goal. I have every confidence that I will be back to losing . Will I have bloated , feeling fat days again??? You betcha! But keep on trucking on is the only option for me .
So ..... You've been trucking on ....don't quit now. K ???0 -
So sorry to hear you are having a rough day.
I was stupid enough to step on the scale today-9lbs up. All I want to do is cry. but I will not give in.
We can do it. Just stay strong. I too was thinking today of just giving in, eat less and fall back into the old routine. But I had huge deficits like you and the scale did NOT MOVE any more. So we have to give it a try. We owe it to our bodies.0 -
I completely understand where you are coming from, and you definitely have no need to apologize...this is a frustrating and mentally draining process. However, I am trusting that it will start to work, if I let it...
It does feel wrong sometimes, purposely eating so much...but at the same time, it feels right too! I cannot imagine going back down to 700 NET calories a day, it not less. Try focussing on the positives (more energy, better concentration, better sleep, etc) while waiting for this to start working, and the pounds/inches starting to go down again.
*hugs* hang in there...we are all here for you whenever you whenever you need to vent and then sometime in the near future, share your first of many successes 0 -
Girl you are not alone! Today was bittersweet for me! Ran a 5k took second in my division! But the pictures are horrible! I dislike how I look! Sigh and hugs we are on the same boat and we will see those pounds drop we just have to push forward!!0
-
Thanks. It's stupid things like I can feel my dress getting caught on my *kitten*, and my thighs rubbing when it's hot and I'm in a dress. It's just uncomfortable. LOL! Unlike many people here, I'm tempted to "go back down" because it wasn't a rabbit diet. I was eating 1800-2200 a day. It's not like I'd be going down to 1200 a day or something. But going up to 2500 or so has not gone "well" and my big meals with hubbie on the weekend don't help. My average TDEE is 3000 so I know that 2500 is good otherwise my deficit would be very high and I got stuck at 153 for a zillion years eating the 1800-2200. I like feeling lean and fit, and I work so, so hard at it..that feeling fluffy, bloated, stuffed in clothes and again I say MY DRESS GETTING HUNG UP ON MY *kitten* is feeling UNACCEPTABLE! :laugh: :sad: :laugh: :sad:0
-
Thanks. It's stupid things like I can feel my dress getting caught on my *kitten*, and my thighs rubbing when it's hot and I'm in a dress. It's just uncomfortable. LOL! Unlike many people here, I'm tempted to "go back down" because it wasn't a rabbit diet. I was eating 1800-2200 a day. It's not like I'd be going down to 1200 a day or something. But going up to 2500 or so has not gone "well" and my big meals with hubbie on the weekend don't help. My average TDEE is 3000 so I know that 2500 is good otherwise my deficit would be very high and I got stuck at 153 for a zillion years eating the 1800-2200. I like feeling lean and fit, and I work so, so hard at it..that feeling fluffy, bloated, stuffed in clothes and again I say MY DRESS GETTING HUNG UP ON MY *kitten* is feeling UNACCEPTABLE! :laugh: :sad: :laugh: :sad:
I live in New York and it has been hot and balmy lately. I am guessing the weather is a bit warmer and clammier in MD, no? There is nothing less attractive than a sweaty day when every skirt or dress leads to the dreaded "Chub Rub" and shorts and pants bunch up. It's the worst. But I look at your ticker and I am so in awe and frankly envious of your amazing progress. I started EMTWL 3 weeks ago, and I am not eating at full TDEE, but I am definitely in the swollen puffy phase. HOWEVER, I recall waking up with a headache for two weeks in a row, and feeling a large distended stomach and not knowing what was going on--It was called being malnourished at 1200 cals a day.
I feel like if you follow the advice of the smart people on here, and stick it out for a couple more weeks--or 1 week, you will get to the next point--the 15% cut and start to feel amazing faster than you could imagine. The great thing about this plan is also that if it doesn't work the solution is fairly simple--You know the direction you have to go in--and you have the answer. You just have to do it when you feel the time is right.0 -
I'm actually doing the cut right now. If I ate at my full TDEE I'd be eating 3000 calories a day!:sick:0
-
Well if you look now the way you look in your pic I would say you don't even need to lose weight!0
-
Thanks. It's stupid things like I can feel my dress getting caught on my *kitten*, and my thighs rubbing when it's hot and I'm in a dress. It's just uncomfortable. LOL! Unlike many people here, I'm tempted to "go back down" because it wasn't a rabbit diet. I was eating 1800-2200 a day. It's not like I'd be going down to 1200 a day or something. But going up to 2500 or so has not gone "well" and my big meals with hubbie on the weekend don't help. My average TDEE is 3000 so I know that 2500 is good otherwise my deficit would be very high and I got stuck at 153 for a zillion years eating the 1800-2200. I like feeling lean and fit, and I work so, so hard at it..that feeling fluffy, bloated, stuffed in clothes and again I say MY DRESS GETTING HUNG UP ON MY *kitten* is feeling UNACCEPTABLE! :laugh: :sad: :laugh: :sad:
Hey, hey, HEEEEY!!!! Stop it right now, young lady!!
You're not just whining, you're getting yourself into a full fledge tizzy over this.
I KNOW that you know the process and what to expect. Now if your dress is getting hung up on your *kitten*, wear another dress!! I mean, why torture yourself wearing something that is going to get you down?
Did you ever think that the "fluffy and bloated' feelings are just YOU NOT STARVING? Your body might be saying "wow, food, what a concept". Correction "the right amount of food".
Remember that you are EM2WL so that you CAN go out with your hubby whenever you want and know that while you may retain water the next day or so, you didn't gain 10 pounds of fat in one weekend.
Now, c'mon girl, hang in there, you sooo got this!!0 -
I know you don't want to eat at TDEE and do the reset....but if you aren't willing to do EM2WL in full, then you can't expect the full results. Because even if you don't choose to do the reset, you will still need to bump up to TDEE every so often. I have seen it recommended at 4 weeks, 8 weeks or 10 then to eat at TDEE for 1-2 weeks then cut back down. So no matter how hard you try to hide from eating that much...you are going to have to anyway!
I am in no way a professional at this, but I still think you should consider the full reset. I know you weren't eating the standard 1200. But you also don't work out like a standard person. Even at 1800-2200, you were eating maintenance cals of standard woman. Add in all your crazy burns and real life activities, you were indeed starving your body. You are doing the work-outs of 3 women and eating for one woman. You need to bump up and eat for 2-2 1/2 women!
I don't mean this to come across as critical if it does, coming across through typing is not easy! But as someone who was MFP friends with you before this, you were not happy before. You now look back and think that what you had before wasn't so bad but you know in your heart you were not happy there. If you are so willing to go back to they way things were, be willing to go the other way to what could be. You are almost there! You came up to the creepy woods to get to Utopia and you are saying no way, those creepy woods aren't worth walking through to get to Utopia!
When you go through Hell you don't just stop and sit a while, you keep going! So keep going! Add 3 Tbsp of real PB to those protein shakes, cook with more olive or coconut oil. Drizzle some flaxseed oil on your salad. Hell, eat some mac n cheese with a smile! I have a great homemade recipe that I could easy eat 3 servings of! You CAN do this.
Its been 5 weeks at cut. Why not try a week at TDEE then cut 10%. Or maybe TDEE won't be so bad and you go another, then another until you have done the full 8. Or definitely follow whatever Lucia or Kiki tell you to do with out a second thought since they definitely are more knowledgeable then me!0 -
I know you don't want to eat at TDEE and do the reset....but if you aren't willing to do EM2WL in full, then you can't expect the full results. Because even if you don't choose to do the reset, you will still need to bump up to TDEE every so often. I have seen it recommended at 4 weeks, 8 weeks or 10 then to eat at TDEE for 1-2 weeks then cut back down. So no matter how hard you try to hide from eating that much...you are going to have to anyway!
I am in no way a professional at this, but I still think you should consider the full reset. I know you weren't eating the standard 1200. But you also don't work out like a standard person. Even at 1800-2200, you were eating maintenance cals of standard woman. Add in all your crazy burns and real life activities, you were indeed starving your body. You are doing the work-outs of 3 women and eating for one woman. You need to bump up and eat for 2-2 1/2 women!
I don't mean this to come across as critical if it does, coming across through typing is not easy! But as someone who was MFP friends with you before this, you were not happy before. You now look back and think that what you had before wasn't so bad but you know in your heart you were not happy there. If you are so willing to go back to they way things were, be willing to go the other way to what could be. You are almost there! You came up to the creepy woods to get to Utopia and you are saying no way, those creepy woods aren't worth walking through to get to Utopia!
When you go through Hell you don't just stop and sit a while, you keep going! So keep going! Add 3 Tbsp of real PB to those protein shakes, cook with more olive or coconut oil. Drizzle some flaxseed oil on your salad. Hell, eat some mac n cheese with a smile! I have a great homemade recipe that I could easy eat 3 servings of! You CAN do this.
Its been 5 weeks at cut. Why not try a week at TDEE then cut 10%. Or maybe TDEE won't be so bad and you go another, then another until you have done the full 8. Or definitely follow whatever Lucia or Kiki tell you to do with out a second thought since they definitely are more knowledgeable then me!
WOW. Great post ....0 -
I just wanted to say hang in there! I am feeling much like you are and LOVE reading the awesome advice everyone has given you. Good luck to my friend!!0
