Another lovely side effect... Personal, may be TMI

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TXBelle1174
TXBelle1174 Posts: 615 Member
I hate to post this on a board but there are very few people who I can commiserate with that truly understand. It is my understanding that one of the symptoms or side effects of HypoT is lack of sex drive. I just attributed this to the meds I was taking, which also can cause lack of "desire". Well, this really sucks. TMI ahead - beware.... I have always had a great sex drive and now it is non-existent. My husband has been very understanding but only believes so much of the "its not you, its me" talk. Every now and then the fire sparks up but its few and far between. I am TOTALLY attracted to my husband and I miss my sex drive. I WANT to WANT to have sex. Do any of you have this same problem? How do you deal with it? I dont really want to ask my Dr. because she will probably just throw another pill at me. I am not opposed to taking something natural/herbal. Have your spouses been understanding?

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  • embclark
    embclark Posts: 186 Member
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    I can't help you, but I would love to see if anyone has any suggestions...
  • mgmlap
    mgmlap Posts: 1,377 Member
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    i totally understand! I am the same exact way...would love to see what others have to say..cause frankly..its sooo annoying!
  • Jfearn64
    Jfearn64 Posts: 353 Member
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    My wife suffered from this as well. She is 53 yrs old now. When she was 47, she had half of her thyroid removed. Her sex drive was never over the top our whole marriage. I would estimate 1-2 times per month, maybe less than that. She has since gone on hormone replacement therapy (Bio identical not the chemical ones). What a difference it has made. Now she is routinely the initiator and our sex life is better than I could have imagined. Now it is more like 12-15 times per month, Sometimes 2-3 per day. She has more energy now and feels so much better.
  • abcwhite10
    abcwhite10 Posts: 140 Member
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    I hate to post this on a board but there are very few people who I can commiserate with that truly understand. It is my understanding that one of the symptoms or side effects of HypoT is lack of sex drive. I just attributed this to the meds I was taking, which also can cause lack of "desire". Well, this really sucks. TMI ahead - beware.... I have always had a great sex drive and now it is non-existent. My husband has been very understanding but only believes so much of the "its not you, its me" talk. Every now and then the fire sparks up but its few and far between. I am TOTALLY attracted to my husband and I miss my sex drive. I WANT to WANT to have sex. Do any of you have this same problem? How do you deal with it? I dont really want to ask my Dr. because she will probably just throw another pill at me. I am not opposed to taking something natural/herbal. Have your spouses been understanding?

    Oh boy.......I could've written this myself! My husband is supportive as well, but I know it must bruise his ego. It makes me sad because I love him very much and I just have noooooo desire. I would much rather sleep!
  • kllyeve
    kllyeve Posts: 18 Member
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    I have also suffered from a lower than I would like drive - and I can tell you the best thing is to just do it!! Even if I don't always feel really horny at the start, I usually get into it in a few minutes of kissing and foreplay. I have to think and plan that its going to happen so I don't let it be too long between times. I don't stress about having an orgasm, I just enjoy it ( but my BF and I sync very well and the big O is not a rare event). Plan for it in your day and the anticipation and thinking about surprising him will really go along way to helping you get in the mood. Read a raunchy romance novel.

    Why would I have sex if I wasn't really in the mood? Well, I don't want my BF to feel rejected or neglected. We both came out of previous relationships where we were rejected physically for years prior to the relationships ending, so I am sensitive to that kind of rejection myself. Also, some men express a great deal of their feelings for thier partner through physical intimacy - so by denying them that mode of expression is the same as if they refused to talk to us when we needed to verbally express something to them.

    I have had MAJOR health issues - surgery, bowel obstrctions, off on medical leave - and myBF has been absolutely supportive of working around my health issues. I have also worked really hard to let him know I still desire him even if I couldn't - due to pain issues.

    So I guess my advice is that if it is not coming naturally to have an active sex life - then it might need to be planned for a while. Also maybe see an endocrinologist - maybe the girl hormones could use some tweaking. I have been taking bio-identical hormones - estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone for about 3 months and I have seen an increase in my drive.
  • TXBelle1174
    TXBelle1174 Posts: 615 Member
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    I have been reading raunchy novels - The Shades of Grey series. LOL I dont typically read stuff like that but I thought, what the heck! I also just ordered a supplement that is supposed to help. It got pretty good reviews and it was cheap so if it doesnt work, I didnt waste a ton of money. I do see an endocrinologist and plan to mention this to him at my follow up in July. If the supplement works, I will let you all know. Thanks for the advice and for "listening".
  • chelekaz
    chelekaz Posts: 871 Member
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    Slowly raises hand....

    I have almost no drive at all. Sometimes in the mid-morning but husband is working so... oh well.

    I have found that I just kind of go with it. If he is in the mood then I won't deny him because of my lack of mood. Now understand we were very active - I'm talking easily 3x a week - so this is very drastic for us. Thankfully he is very understanding.
  • debbylee22
    debbylee22 Posts: 456 Member
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    Try lubricant? There are some that are "warming lubricant" type. Seems to help .:embarassed:
  • fiberartist219
    fiberartist219 Posts: 1,865 Member
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    Getting off of birth control pills has made me all hot and bothered! When I was on the pills, I had no drive, but now I have the Paraguard IUD, and I feel like a teenager again. I feel like I get where the term "dirty thirties" comes from. :love:

    Anyway, if you aren't feeling up for nookie, you can always cuddle, hug, kiss and practice other forms of physical affection. My hubs always appreciates physical contact, whether or not I actually want to do the deed.
  • adbohls
    adbohls Posts: 156 Member
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    I feel for you. I took Depo-provera shots for about 2 years. Not only was my libido non-existant, but the mere thought of it made me want to vomit and I don't ever get nauseous. When I did force myself, I cried the whole time. My poor husband. He tried to be supportive, but it almost broke us up. Unfortunately, I'm still struggling with having libido, but at least I don't cry and want to vomit. It's been about 16 years since I was on it. I wish I had never taken it.
  • lmelangley
    lmelangley Posts: 1,039 Member
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    Another one of the beautiful things about this forum - I had thought it was just me and didn't attribute my lack of drive to my thyroid at all. I know it doesn't help, but you guys have made me feel better.
  • Marll
    Marll Posts: 904 Member
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    My wife has had a very low drive for years. It seems to have gotten better since starting thyroid meds, but at the same time she's been getting off birth control, weaning anti-depressants, beta blockers and melatonin so that may all contribute, but I think the thyroid meds helped the most.

    Recently she's taken a turn for the worse though, she was feeling great and then went back to blahs-ville. I'm pretty sure that her thyroid levels just took a big dump. Thankfully she's got an appointment next week with her naturopath.

    From a male perspective I try to be understanding, and have been for a long time, but to be 100% honest, sometimes it just pisses me off. I've always had a much higher sex drive than her, so it's a source of aggrivation, but all I can do is be an advocate for her getting better and back to normal.
  • kllyeve
    kllyeve Posts: 18 Member
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    Birht Control Pills - all kinds - worked for me in that taking them meant I didn't want sex EVER - so therefore impossible to get pregnant lol. They worked on exH as well because sine I had PMS 35 days a month - he wasn't interested in sex either!!

    Finally did NFP/condoms for about 7 years - only 2 planned kids!!

    Tweaking the girl hormones and getting them back into balance has worked really well. Next will be gettting the thyroid under control. I had too much estrogen and that interferes with thyroid hormone functions, so onve we get the esrogen down, I can get the thyroid issue switched over to Armourc
  • bigjax1
    bigjax1 Posts: 56 Member
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    whispers quitely from the corner.. I know what you mean....and for a long time it didnt matter I was single and so it was not an issue then I met my husband to be and it became an issue for me... he was fine about it, he knew from the beginning that I have health issues, low energy is a sure killer of urges... why waste energy on a non essential activity?

    sometimes I have said not tonight darling.... but like you all I love my partner ...he knows it is just because I feel grotty but I still see the hurt in his eyes, I recommmend lots of cuddles, we cuddle every day, in this house a cuddle is a cuddle so I feel no pressure to perform.. that helps retain the closeness all couples need

    but one day after he had not even had a hint of anything for weeks I decided I would 'make an effort' and I have to admit to being stunned by the effect...I began doing it for him not because i was horney and I found myself enjoying it ... so now even if the urge is not there we go for it ...any pain (I have fibromyalgia) and we stop..

    so I think that the drive is just sleeping and the engine needs a lickstart...ops kicksstart...... because once we get going its all normal..............