I am not a fanatic about it and this is just my opinion but to me it shows a basic level of respect for the intended audience.
We all make spelling,punctuation and grammatical errors at times but at least to show an effort at not would indicate to me a person was taking the thing seriously.
Sort of like proper attire for a job interview etc.

This is exactly what I was going to say. Everyone makes mistakes but if a guy can't take the time to type proper sentences in his messages to me, I'm apparently not worth his time, not worth the effort. Oh and the correct usage of the three "their"s and "you're"s etc. Drives me nuts.

But I posted this topic because many woman have spelling mistakes are a deal breaker written in their profiles... this would make me hesitant to write them because I have the occasional spelling error or long *kitten* sentence.

Is it really that common for women to add that in their profiles? I've never seen it on a man's page.

It is fairly common yes.

I think you're worried for no reason, then. They're just trying to prevent the "Hi o r u 2day babz?" mostly, and they won't mind the odd error I think.

I'd be more worried about men who have blow up dolls sitting on toilets on their profile!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

j/k

I am not a fanatic about it and this is just my opinion but to me it shows a basic level of respect for the intended audience.
We all make spelling,punctuation and grammatical errors at times but at least to show an effort at not would indicate to me a person was taking the thing seriously.
Sort of like proper attire for a job interview etc.

Can I correct your grammar, Carl??? HAHAHA!!! Teasing... the reformed grammar police came out of me! I know you care :flowerforyou:

So ladies, this is really such a big deal to you that it's a "deal breaker?"

I could understand if it were before the 1990's and the main form of nonverbal communication. But honestly how much writing goes on between couples these days... a 160 character text, or one paragraph email?? Seems a bit petty to me.

*note: My grammar is pretty poor, lol.

What I've noticed is that people who aren't the best at grammar or spelling, don't care. Those that are and make an effort, care.

I think poor grammar and spelling is an indication of how educated you are. I'm not even talking about college level education, but seriously, if you passed Junior High, you should know how to write/spell/speak. I'm sure not every woman finds it a deal breaker, but I like to speak properly and I like for the person I'm with to at least attempt to speak/write well.

I'd be more worried about men who have blow up dolls sitting on toilets on their profile!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
j/k

Or the friggin' crazies that claim to be non-smokers that have a cigarette in hand in every photo... yeah, not the sharpest tools in the shed!

So you're saying I'm "not the sharpest tool in the shed" by the implications of Anna's post?

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that, for me, it's a compatibility issue, and that's it. I care deeply about people, no matter the level of education. I would never "badmouth" or be disrespectful of someone because of how they choose to live their life. I'm truly sorry if I am coming across that way, because that is not my intention. Some of you have freely admitted you would never date an overweight person, or someone who is out of a very specific age range, which is fine -- it's your preference. I'm just stating mine :-)

Also, Anna, all I can say is that there are exceptions to every rule -- obviously your friend has a legitimate LD (it's been a few years since I've worked in special education -- is LD still politically correct?), which is most definitely what I would consider an extenuating circumstance.

I agree there are exceptions. And I totally respect your God given right to have preferences to the type of person you're attracted to :flowerforyou:

(No idea if LD is PC!!)

I guess I'm always looking for exceptions to any rule, as I'm just not fond of rules!!! :laugh:

Another example is that my best friend is always correcting my grammar and spelling. He finds it a mission in life!! :laugh: And I love him for it. He left school at 16. He's not formally educated at all, but if you spoke to him, you'd think he had a Doctorate!

Just sayin.......:flowerforyou:

I'm a technical writer/editor and I could care less. I suck at math, but you can't see that on a profile or when texting someone. I wouldn't judge someone on spelling and grammar; that's silly. We all have our strengths and weaknesses!

True story .. my mom when they were in high school would write my dad love notes and he would correct her spelling and give them back to her!!! hahahahahaah! They have been married for 42 years now.

While it isn't a deal breaker for me .. it is more attractive to me if the person can spell and can write properly. But it certainly isn't something I would hold against someone.

I am much stronger mathematically and logically than I am verbally. I write well but it took a lot of effort to learn and is still far from perfect. A small grammatical mistake here and there doesn't bother me. What bothers me is when it takes 10 minutes to try to figure out what a sentence or paragraph is supposed to mean. It shows a level of dedication to making yourself better that you can effectively communicate. I am turned off by women who can't complete a thought in writing. However, the flip side of that is also a turn-off. I can't stand the woman who is so obsessive with grammar and spelling that she feels the need to correct it (unless it is a particularly bad mistake). The primary purpose of writing is to effectively communicate. If a woman is so obsessed with the sentence structure that she loses focus on the purpose of the message, then that shows a level of control and pettiness I just don't want to deal with. (And yes, I realize I just ended a sentence with a preposition but, "That shows a level of control and pettiness with which I do not want to deal," sounds snooty to me.)

Not saying it's a huge turn off, but it IS a huge turn on.

Seriously, lol. I'm one of those grammar/spelling nazis, but only on simple *kitten*. Even I'm super lax when it comes to sentence fragments and incorrect syntax and stuff like that.

But if you know the difference between your and you're, I fall smitten.

But I posted this topic because many woman have spelling mistakes are a deal breaker written in their profiles... this would make me hesitant to write them because I have the occasional spelling error or long *kitten* sentence.

Is it really that common for women to add that in their profiles? I've never seen it on a man's page.

It is fairly common yes.

I think you're worried for no reason, then. They're just trying to prevent the "Hi o r u 2day babz?" mostly, and they won't mind the odd error I think.

I'd be more worried about men who have blow up dolls sitting on toilets on their profile!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

j/k

I agree, it's the utter drivel they are trying to prevent. The odd mistake usually isn't a problem.

As for flimflam's loo doll, it is strangely fascinating :huh:

What is petty to you is not to another, and vice versa. Spelling and grammar tend to be indicative of how much education an individual has received, which goes back to our previous conversation in which I pointed out that I prefer men with a high level of education. As stated before, it's not that I look down on a man for having poor grammar skills (which, may I point out, yours is not bad at all), it's more that it's very hard for me to feel a strong connection to him.

You may still think it's petty, but I'm sure you have "deal breakers" that I would find to be just as trivial :flowerforyou:

Kate, one of my dear friends had a Masters degree and was dyslexic!! Couldnt spell for toffee!!! So, not quite sure that good spelling or grammar, in the age of computers, is indicative of education?

Dyslexia is a recognized disability and is forgivable. Ignorance is not.

i come from a math/science background and speak and have studied several other languages besides english, so i can do a good deal of overlooking grammar and spelling. depending on the content of what the guy is trying to say. i personally think the purpose of language is to communicate thought, so as long as i can comprehend the thought then it's all good.

but, if i pretty much have to read your sentence outloud to decipher what you're trying to say then that's a HUGE turn off