Online dating profile critiques?
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I haven't read the study yet, but based on this brief explanation and the number of messages I get - this is a huge downer! haha Thanks! I guess I'm not as "incredibly good looking" as I thought I was...Here's the link to the study:
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-mathematics-of-beauty/
First they found that "a hot woman receives roughly 4× the messages an average-looking woman gets, and 25× as many as an ugly one". Okay, no-brainer there. So, they plotted the number of messages a user gets based on several factors. It gets really interesting from there.
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OMGooosh!! I'm done so much online dating I should write a book!!! A lot of it has been successful. The last relationship I got out of (we were together 2 years), I met him online. I've met some really interesting guys and most I've gone out with have been good guys. Let's see, when I was online (I've taken myself off), I got tons of messages and when I wrote to a guy, I usually received a response. Also, I've helped a few of my girl friends who were getting no responses write profiles and then their inbox would be flooded
Two of them are now in serious relationships with guys they met with those profiles.
Atjays - Good profile but, if I were younger, I wouldn't send you a message (no mean-ness intended), for a couple of reasons. 1) The "nothing serious"!!! It's nice that you're being honest; but that phrase is really off-putting. With online dating that SCREAMS, "I just want a one night stand/I'll break your heart." You wouldn't believe the number of men online who only want sex and are straightforward about it, so when I see that--it's like BAM! NOPE! Most women won't gravitate toward a man who doesn't want anything. So, even though you don't want anything serious, don't state it. I'd suggest you say you're interested in a relationship.
2) I agree with the guy who said your profile reads like a resume. I think it's good that you say you're finishing up school, are working, have plans for your life. It shows stability and looks like you're motivated/not a loser. However, it would be good for you to say more about what your hobby is/what you like to do. Is working out your hobby? Racing? Why? Maybe put something on there that's interesting and quirky. Maybe say something about what kind of guy you are in relationship to women: Do you like to treat your women well? Do you usually choose the wrong type, but are determined to choose the right kind this time? Something to make an emotional connection with women. Hmmm...you said on a Friday nights, you like to watch a movie and stay in: Why? What kind of movies do you like to watch? Just put more personal stuff, so that a woman can relate. We connect through the heart and mind.
3) Great pics but a couple of things with them say, subliminally, "desperate" -- too many pics and a pic of you with your mom. Maybe, put the late night IHOP as your main pic. Your smile with your thumb in front of your mouth and the way your eyes look away are intriguing. You look fun and like there's something hidden (women fall for that) and keep your racing pic. Drop the others. That way you come across as mysterious, great-looking with great eyes, and a racer. (Oh! And put a note in your profile..."Oh yes, that's really me on the bike...")
Maybe I'm wrong...if I am, sorry! But, if it were me, and I were younger, I wouldn't respond to your profiles as they are. (Just being honest), but if you changed them, I would.
Also, send out more messages...nothing ventured, nothing gained. You never know...
@meagalayne - I tried to look at your profile but it says it's restricted to cupid users. I vowed to myself to stay off the online thing If you change it your restrictions, I'll check it out. But, if not...LOTs of luck.
Off the top of my head, I can think of 5-10 couples I know who're married and met through an online dating site. So, it's possible.
Good luck!!!0 -
It works the same the other way around. OKC Trends blog actually did a study on this. The findings are ridiculous, and so interesting. The data nerd in me loved it!
Here's the link to the study:
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-mathematics-of-beauty/
First they found that "a hot woman receives roughly 4× the messages an average-looking woman gets, and 25× as many as an ugly one". Okay, no-brainer there. So, they plotted the number of messages a user gets based on several factors. It gets really interesting from there.
I do think the survey is interesting. I can see the points they're making but think it's an awfully big leap to say you should play up your biggest flaws because some men will really find you interesting enough to message and it'll drive UP your connections. I think the idea works for things like tattoos or piercings, but as someone who doesn't fall into the preferred Body Type categories, I'm not looking to attract more men who like bigger women. I don't WANT to be a bigger woman and have worked hard to get this far. I'm certainly not about to play that up. I chose to put up a full body shot because I don't want anyone saying they're surprised, but that's about as far as I could go. But then, I've gotten two winks from really creepy guys so clearly my theory isn't working either, haha!0 -
I'm a little late to this party, but I'm always down for some constructive criticism.... I'm on Match, and my handle is SavedP...to OP I couldn't see your profile. But I'll try again from a different computer.0
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It's definitely best to be honest up front and I'm not suggesting you change anything if that's the way you honestly feel. I'm just saying don't be too surprised if you don't get a lot of responses because I think a lot of people are looking for something more long term.And I think that is exactly why I've included it. This isn't my first "rodeo" so to speak - and I know what I want. I've been on dating sites before and the last thing I want to do is mislead anyone. It ends in disappointment for all parties involved. Don't you think it's better to be honest about what you actually want than to go out on dates with people looking for long-term commitment knowing full well that it isn't what you want or are able to give?
This is a broader question, I suppose. I find that I am more likely to appreciate a dating profile that comes across as honest, if a bit off-putting, only because the superficial bullsh*t people post to get dates won't get them past the first one. I don't like wasting my time with people who have just written what they think women want to hear. If I know with great certainty that I am not interested in a long-term commitment or a relationship that is going to take over my life (ie. I just want to casually date and have some fun), why not volunteer that info at the outset?
I think that for the most part I am much more likely to respond to a guy if his profile is a bit rough around the edges (read: doesn't look copy edited by the staff at Cosmo to try and catch my attention). I want to see some personality. Some humanity. Someone who knows and can appreciate his own strengths and weaknesses and find humour in them, instead of hiding them away or trying to mask them with cliche one-liners or stories demonstrating how cultured, well-traveled, or sophisticated his mom thinks he is...
Thoughts?
I just went out with a "don't want anything serious" type of girl a few weeks ago. She said she's leaving the country at the end of the summer and just wants to have fun for a while. I don't mind making new friends and I like to have fun so I figured I'd just roll with it. So I had to do all the typical guy date stuff, I had to find a place to meet, I had to pay because she wasn't really working, and she showed up late. We had fun, just seemed like a lot of effort to put into something that's not going anywhere. I'd rather focus my efforts in finding something meaningful. I probably would have hung out with her again if she put any effort in but neither of us contacted each other after.
Honestly it doesn't matter what a profile says half the time. They all say the same thing anyway. Pretty much I check out their pictures, see where they're located and if I'm still interested I'll read their profile. I will be more likely to email someone if their profile is interesting or funny though. With boring profiles I struggle to find something clever to comment on so I'll just write them a boring message.0 -
Quick update on this - I took your advice Roadie and removed the one line about not wanting a serious relationship. I also changed my default profile pic to the one I am using on MFP.
In the short term, it seems to have induced a flurry of activity and I've got several dates lined up for the next week.... Now it's just a matter of the *quality* of those dates, which is yet to be seen. I would much rather attract fewer dates that fit what I am looking for, than an onslaught of interests from people I am wasting my time with.
Updates to come! Thanks for the suggestions :bigsmile:0 -
Well congrats, glad I could help. If you're really sure about the not wanting anything serious thing it would probably be a good idea to let them know in the first couple emails. I just try to have an open mind about the whole thing, even if I don't meet my future wife I wouldn't mind making some new friends or a running buddy or something.Quick update on this - I took your advice Roadie and removed the one line about not wanting a serious relationship. I also changed my default profile pic to the one I am using on MFP.
In the short term, it seems to have induced a flurry of activity and I've got several dates lined up for the next week.... Now it's just a matter of the *quality* of those dates, which is yet to be seen. I would much rather attract fewer dates that fit what I am looking for, than an onslaught of interests from people I am wasting my time with.
Updates to come! Thanks for the suggestions :bigsmile:0 -
Today's matches included a guy who took an unflattering photo of himself (clothed) laying on his bed and possibly the shortest profile I've seen in the last couple months... gotta admire his honesty:In His Own Words
I believe in being attracted by looks. If we like how we look then all of this will find it's place and time. So I'm not going to spend a lot of time describing myself here. I'm a human being. I make mistakes and I forgive mistakes. …
What I like to do:I don't have much free time.
My hot spots:East Texas
That's the whole profile.0 -
I am getting frustrated by online dating. I take time to read a guys profile so I spent some time writing out mine. I'll receive a few messages but they are few and far between. I have no.problem sending a gyy a message and I usually never hear back. So, I am thinking it must be my pics, which kinda sucks!0
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Hahah! I love this...Today's matches included a guy who took an unflattering photo of himself (clothed) laying on his bed and possibly the shortest profile I've seen in the last couple months... gotta admire his honesty:In His Own Words
I believe in being attracted by looks. If we like how we look then all of this will find it's place and time. So I'm not going to spend a lot of time describing myself here. I'm a human being. I make mistakes and I forgive mistakes. …
What I like to do:I don't have much free time.
My hot spots:East Texas
That's the whole profile.
Here are some GEMS I received by PM this week (nothing cut - this is the full extent of each message):hmmm great profile, and a 94% MATCH!, i dont always look into the numbers, but we must be doing something right/ or in commonI will tell you, I'm just really busy
find me on Facebook
(included facebook link)
If you send these kinds of messages to women you are interested in getting to know.... Sigh. Pathetic! Seriously folks! *headshake*You profile screams confidence, which is ultra sexy. Was there a catalyst to the change or just a life choice.0 -
Well congrats, glad I could help. If you're really sure about the not wanting anything serious thing it would probably be a good idea to let them know in the first couple emails. I just try to have an open mind about the whole thing, even if I don't meet my future wife I wouldn't mind making some new friends or a running buddy or something.Quick update on this - I took your advice Roadie and removed the one line about not wanting a serious relationship. I also changed my default profile pic to the one I am using on MFP.
In the short term, it seems to have induced a flurry of activity and I've got several dates lined up for the next week.... Now it's just a matter of the *quality* of those dates, which is yet to be seen. I would much rather attract fewer dates that fit what I am looking for, than an onslaught of interests from people I am wasting my time with.
Updates to come! Thanks for the suggestions :bigsmile:
Hey great news! Hope you find one that works out and makes you happy!0 -
The following profile just checked me out:What I’m doing with my life
NOTHING, STOP ASKING.
I’m really good at
NOTHING, STOP ASKING.
The first things people usually notice about me
NOTHING, STOP ASKING.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
NOTHING, STOP ASKING.
Mostly beer.
The six things I could never do without
NOTHING, STOP ASKING.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
NOTHING, STOP ASKING.
On a typical Friday night I am
NOTHING, STOP ASKING.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
MY PARENTS ARE DEAD.
I’m looking for
Girls who like guys
Ages 20–32
Near me
For new friends
You should message me if
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLOps4qA5rM
You laughed.
I am not kidding.0
