"You don't need to lose weight"
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I tell them that its all maintenance from here because I don't want to hear their opinions. Its like people want us to quit right when were at the home stretch. Heck no! All the way!0
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I've found that weight loss/diet, along with politics and religion, are subjects best to just be avoided. I've been approached many times regarding my weight (and not always in a nice way) and I simply tell them I will not discuss it with them. All food and diet talk is squashed - immediatly. And I do not care if it comes across as rude. It's not anyone's place to comment on my body, just as it's not my place to comment on theirs.
The last time I was told me to eat more, I not-so-kindly replied they would benefit from eating a bit less. I think they got the point.0 -
Although I know it is frustrating to constantly get berated/questioned for your HEALTHY eating habits (what a world, right? :grumble:), I REALLY don't think the answer to it is lying or avoiding it. I mean yeah it is polite sometimes to just not get into it, but I think it is important for all of us to set an example as people who aren't just happy with being a little bit overweight, that want to strive for that extra mile. Just think, by speaking up we very well could inspire someone else to work a little harder and not settle for mediocrity! I don't think you should get preachy about it, but for gooness sake if people ask, answer as simply and TRUTHFULLY as you can. If they ask more keep answering, if they don't, leave it alone. If they berate/pressure you THAT is the point where you can be short with them and tell them to butt out.
I do know how you feel though, sometimes it is just easier to avoid it all together. But maybe if enough of us stick up for ourselves and HAVE that conversation, it will make it easier for others in the future to do what we are doing. :flowerforyou:
I agree with this^!! There is another thread in this same discussion called "not-so-heavy-neighbors" and after reading both of these posts it's got me thinking- many people are SO complacent about their weight, and it really is unhealthy. There is a woman I work with who I absolutely love, she is so much fun but very overweight, and I'm guessing obese. We did a presentation together yesterday and she was getting out of breath during her part, just because she is overweight. It is sad to me that she doesn't seem to care how much she's hurting her body. I guess what I'm trying to say is that by defending the fact that humans are supposed to be slim and trim, and that it's really not OK to be obese. I notice a huge difference running just from 135 to 130 pounds. It proves that we function better and lower weights. Also like jaspninz said for the other guys and girls out there that need some encouragement to realize they can have the body they desire, it just takes a lot of hard work- as we all know !! 0 -
I hate when people see you eating a healthy clean lunch(maybe a salad or leftovers from a homecooked meal) and they ask you (but it's more of a judging statement) "You're not on a diet are you?" or the "you don't need to lose weight, you better not be on a diet" and then they try to feed you cake at every second they can. I mainly just ignore people now, I got used to it after being a vegetarian for 6.5 years. I began eating meat again and then had to deal with the "you've come back to the dark side" or "do you feel better, you looked pale before" guess what I'm always pale! People will always have something to say (no matter what!), learning to ignore them or let it slide is the best in my opinion, and what's most important is that you are doing what is important to you and being healthy.0
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Although I know it is frustrating to constantly get berated/questioned for your HEALTHY eating habits (what a world, right? :grumble:), I REALLY don't think the answer to it is lying or avoiding it. I mean yeah it is polite sometimes to just not get into it, but I think it is important for all of us to set an example as people who aren't just happy with being a little bit overweight, that want to strive for that extra mile. Just think, by speaking up we very well could inspire someone else to work a little harder and not settle for mediocrity! I don't think you should get preachy about it, but for gooness sake if people ask, answer as simply and TRUTHFULLY as you can. If they ask more keep answering, if they don't, leave it alone. If they berate/pressure you THAT is the point where you can be short with them and tell them to butt out.
I do know how you feel though, sometimes it is just easier to avoid it all together. But maybe if enough of us stick up for ourselves and HAVE that conversation, it will make it easier for others in the future to do what we are doing. :flowerforyou:
Yeah I am totally up for sticking up for our HEALTHY lifestyles, if it's someone in a close friendship circle then I will delve into things if they ask. However if it's a friend who I see every now and then, it's easier not to get into it, coz they aren't very supportive
Usually I find it's easier to talk to people who are also 'not that heavy' 0 -
I think they are just jealous and want to keep me fat so they look skinnier. It may seem paranoid, but it's true.
OMG I just said the same exact thing to my sister, so true0 -
OH my gosh I know.
I never take it as an offense. I say thank you.
Yet in my mind I know why I am doing this and it is to please myself when I look in the mirror not others. Although that is a nice side effect I suppose. People who just downright tell me I'm nuts for wanting to lose weight usually have fitness problems with themselves and are embarassed to think if they are bigger than I am what that means to them and their health/appearence.0 -
I think they say that to be nice, lol. That's my guess. I'm not fat but I did get a little chubby over the year and I look WAY different from when I was 120 and now I am around 135-137.
I am in the same boat! I gained weight at school. I just tell people that I love to run or that I like being healthy.0 -
I don't mention to anyone but my close family and two good friends that I'm trying to lose weight. I especially don't mention it those that didn't know me before I lost 40lbs. It's an uncomfortable subject because I do work with women who are much larger and they already think I'm too skinny.
For me it's about being healthier, stronger and not settling for being skinny but jiggly.0 -
I always get that from my family...especially because I tend to be the petite one. They don't get that ten pounds on me makes a bigger difference than ten pounds on someone who is already pushing 200.
I tell them, "It's preventive maintenance."0 -
I'm 5' 4.5" and currently 143lbs, goal 130.. At my heaviest I was 150. No one looking at me would have called me "fat", but when the clothes start to fit tighter, even the bigger sizes, and you start to feel down on yourself, it's your decision to lose a few pounds and/or tone up what you've got. I don't announce to anyone that I'm trying to lose. I've only told two people in "real life". One is my husband, and the other is thinner than I am. She initially told me I didn't need to lose weight and was "just fine". She weighs 25 lbs less than me and is the same height, but exists on Diet Coke, coffee, cigarettes and occasional junk food. Her opinion means nothing to me since her health is suffering as a result of those habits. When I am around others and refuse a dessert or only have one cookie or reach for the fruit, I get looks and comments like, "oh YOU can eat whatever you want," or "you don't need to worry about a few calories." I have noticed that, for the most part, the people making the comments are much heavier than I am. I generally don't bother responding and they drop the issue.0
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5'11, 126 lb. Sadly, still skinny fat, perfectly healthy (for now) except for smoking. In my case, yes I don't need to lose weight but I closely track what I eat, I eat salad (chicken, shrimp, cheese, with a good deal of olive oil which makes them rich nutritionally) outside instead of burritos and that makes people automatically assume that I'm trying to lose weight so I hear that a lot, especially from female friends who starve themselves for a month to look better in bikinis but give up after a week and binge worse. In this case I really doubt the whole motive is concern about my health.
When I don't track what I eat, I end up eating half of the candy and chocolate supplies of the world (a pound of chocolate every day easy) and that's a huge problem, not just because of the weight gain but doing that means diabetes before I'm 40. No thanks.For me it's about being healthier, stronger and not settling for being skinny but jiggly.
Exactly.0 -
"I know I don't, but you sure do."
"Well yeah, I don't NEED to do anything. I don't even NEED to be having this conversations with you right now, but I am..."
- Direct quotes from yours truly.0 -
I hear this all the time, especially from my boyfriend and my close friends, and you know what? They are right. At 5'4 130 lbs I am technically in my healthy weight range. But it doesn't feel healthy to me. I am subconscious about the way certain styles of clothing fit me and I never had that problem before. Bikini season was just the motivation *I* needed to get myself back in shape. Now pretty much every women wishes they could change something about their body, but there also needs to be a point where we are happy with how we look. I think as long as you recognize what your goal is and don't aim for "underweight", there is nothing wrong with wanting to lose those few extra pounds.
Also, if the people who are saying this to you are actually in the overweight category, it could be a bit of jealousy. I always make sure to not talk about wanting to lose weight around my friends/family who are overweight because I know it makes them think, "wow she thinks she needs to lose weight? what does she think about me then?" Bottom line is your friends should support your desire to get healthy, but we also need to make sure that we keep in mind others' struggles when talking about losing weight.0 -
I get it from some friends, but my husband is supportive and joins me in being healthy. My sis is a figure model. So she is more intense than I am. She wants me to join her. I just wanna be fit.
As far as what people say, I just smile at them. Even at my heaviest they said I was small. Compared to the average American I am. I just stick with my goals and move towards them. Everyone that tells me I don't need to go to the gym, or eat something bad, I just smile and use that as fuel to run that extra mile.0 -
Had it last night, from a dear friend, who thought I was the same weight as her, and advised me that I ok and didn't need to loose weight. She is 2 stone lighter than me, so how can I be the same weight as her! I think someone said it earlier, they don't want you to be slimmer than them. I also had 2 members of family who didn't even mention that I had lost weight, which I think is mean, since they last saw me I lost 16lbs!0
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My response is typically the "It's my body not yours; why does it concern you so much if I'm doing this in a healthy manner?" type of response. I find several of my family and friends to be extremely hypocritical when it comes to their attitudes towards my weight loss journeys. I previously lost 25 lbs last year. When I started everyone said the most negative comments and said "You don't even need to lose weight." After I lost it and posted a weight loss picture on Facebook all of a sudden they wanted weight loss tips and said I looked amazing. Some stated, "Wow, I never realized you were that big." Yeah, well I did. Thankfully.
Unfortunately, I fell off the health wagon, binged a lot, and gained everything back. Some of them call me fat now and say I need to stop eating so much, etc. It's ridiculous because (a month ago) I was the exact same weight as last year, when I initially started to lose.
If I don't respond, which is majority of the time, their words go "in one ear and out the other." It irritates me so much because It's my body and I need to be comfortable in it. I'm a runner as well, so I don't like having excess fat on my body that jiggles with every step. I hate when they try to convince me that I'm wrong for wanting a healthier and fitter me. Majority of the time they're bigger than I am anyways, and eating less healthy.0 -
I find this the hardest thing for me. I've stopped talking to anybody about trying to lose weight and be healthy because it creates such hostile feelings in people who are heavier than me. So I've been trying to lose it alone without people to motivate me (impossible) I'm also a vegetarian, so I get the "all you eat is vegetables" line. For now I have been telling people it is for health and preventative reasons (diabetes in the family), which is a lot easier for them to hear.0
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I've had it today, and from someone who is very controlled in their own eating and very thin too!
I mentioned I was being extra good in order to be in a good place for my holiday and have a bit of leeway if i gain!0 -
I don't tell people I'm losing weight - a lot of people get offended if they are bigger than me, and they always say I don't need to lose weight. I have no need to explain my decisions to people. Besides, my main goals are more about health and wellbeing - I just know from experience that my health and wellbeing are better when I weigh less than I do now. So I just tell people I try to eat healthily and work out because I have food sensitivities and digestive problems, which is also true. People understand it more if you have a specific health problem.0
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That is so annoying! Just because you're not fat doesn't mean you can't have some insecurities about your body or weight. That's the main reason I joined MFP. There was no one I could talk to who didn't say something like that. I know they're trying to be nice, but it makes me feel like I should shut up or something.0
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