bossyblackdog Member

Thank you. This does sound very similar. I think I have made the decision. Right now my biggest hurtle is telling him and dealing with the guilt (counseling will help me with that I am sure of it). I am not afraid of a life alone. I have friends and family all around me that I love, and nieces and nephews to spoil. If I…

I know it seems pathetic to look for insight here, but this really has helped. I was asking myself if I was being selfish in this feeling of wanting to leave. I know I can't present his side, all I can demonstrate is how I feel. Seeing other's input and feelings has helped me with some perspective. It hasn't changed my…

This is interesting RoxieDawn. I never really thought of it as a codependent relationship because I always thought I wasn't depending on him for anything. That being said, I really don't know much about the nature of relationships or what exactly codependency is. This would be a good question to ask the counselor about.

There is another factor that I didn't mention that I think is the nail in the coffin. I don't know 100% if I want kids, but I can not picture a life raising kids with him. I would be the only parent. If I stayed, I would not have kids. Even though I don't know if I want them, I would never forgive myself if I made that…

ha!

I do think he actually loves me, which is part of where my guilt is. This has been a poison for any love I had for him though - which has led me to where I am today. I agree if there is only love on one side, nothing will make it work. I don't think I can get it back, especially where I was unsure how much I loved him to…

How did he take it? How did he make out in the long run? Did you struggle with actually telling him you wanted to leave?

Thanks Fuzzipeg - this gives me some hope!

About his contributions around the house - he does cook. But he regularly tells me it is "easier for him" when I cook more often. This grates on my every nerve. I hire someone to clean.

I would be devastated...

lol - yes

You are right - I don't hate him and I am not angry at him. I still love him in the way you love a friend, or sibling. I want what is best for him and I want him to be happy. I my thoughts of separating, I want to do it in a way that gives him the best chance to get off on the right foot for supporting himself. I don't…

I will! I hope your finding the strength you need as well!

This is exactly what my sister said...

I have told him many times he is spending too much money and I can't keep up with it. And I have tried to set an example by not spending money on frivolous things, even when he knows it was something I would like to have (greenhouse being the most recent example). Then a short two months later he informs me he will be…

That's an interesting insight - now I am wondering too. I think you are right that I am struggling with putting my own priorities first. I've always been a people pleaser... now at 33 I'm starting to realize I keep pleasing people who aren't overly worried about pleasing me... and I'm getting fed up with it.

You are absolutely right there are two sides. I can't show you his. I can only explore how I feel. I'm not really looking for advise, I'm working through this on my own an putting things down in words and seeing some other people's thoughts are helping me with understanding if my feelings of leaving are jumping the gun or…

This feels like its my fault. I let it go to long without saying anything. I'm non-confrontational and I should have brought these issues to the surface before my feelings have gotten this bad. But I feel like any love I had is to far gone that its too late now to get anything back.... nor do I think I want to. My guilt of…

To eat I assume! I actually didn't even consider that there would be more eggs.. can you eat turkey eggs? The ducks are 7 months old and have never laid an egg. Its a bit weird. They are Indian Runners and we actually have them for keeping slugs out of the garden in the summer, so its fine, but I worry there is a health…

Oh lord this will be me soon. Hubby wants to expand to turkeys next year, and I am actively working to keep the goat at bay (I have heard stories of people heading out of the house in the morning and finding the goat standing on top of their car!). We have 8 acres... it started with a couple hens.. grew to hens and…

Your right! I can't believe I didn't think of this! I must have buried these way in a back room of my brain because I did know they were egg users...

What's funny is I actually don't even like chicken! I think I might be the only person in this world who would rather eat any meat other then chicken! Chicken soup will be on the menu when the time comes though! Eggs I do love, just looking for some ways to keep them interesting!

haha it took me a second to get your chicken soup comment... at first I was thinking "chicken soup with eggs??" haha! Oh god I know that day will have to come too, but I am not prepared for it. I know its a package deal, but geeze its going to take me some mental prep time. Can I just run a chicken retirement home instead?

egg drop soup, and egg tacos!! Great ideas! I have never head of egg foo yung, I'll have to look that one up. I am especially excited about the egg tacos haha

Thanks for this! 1) non-egg laying days???!!! Do those happen??!! haha I guess I am experiencing the benefits of all my girls being young! It is a good idea though, those days will eventually come! 2) We give them to friends and family all the time, but none of them are low income (although they are greatful and I like…

I do have a quiche I haven't made in a while - I should whip that one up.

I completely agree with this - but I do wonder why I seem to retain water with them. Could it be that they are carbonated? I think caffeine is a diuretic so that shouldn't be it. It is also completely possible the it is all in my head... maybe it just happened a couple times for unrelated reasons and now I associate it…

On another note - I just looking back up at the other replies I noticed annacole and I are the only ones calling it pop, everybody else is saying soda. Then I have a quick glance at her profile and see she is also Canadian lol - must be a Canadian thing! My husband says "soda" and I always wondered where in the heck he got…

Hi have a bit a diet pop addiction - given to me by my mother haha. I can't stand the taste of regular. I don't buy into the artificial colours/sweetners hysteria b.s. I practically want to slap people that try to tell me that aspartame does terrible things to your body (reality - extensive testing has not been able to…