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https://youtu.be/f9Wf46tLonM
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Lawn Flamingos
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Choo-Choo
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https://youtu.be/WYS5NtRXlZQ
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The woo reaction does not bother me one bit. - Kanye West
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I just want to help the team win. There is more to life than making money. - Antonio Brown
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MET-Rx shakes are meal replacements, not touted as fat burning or "lean" muscle building. BTW, I can't believe they're still on the market. I thought all my problems as a skinny teenager trying to gain weight would be solved with those MET-Rx packets. They tasted absolutely vile though. Just make your own shakes with whole…
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My oldest brother had a VCR in his room, the lucky wanker. One day I snooping around his room and saw a tape in the VCR and decided to press play in hopes of seeing what every young boy who is home alone dreams of seeing on a blank VHS tape at that ripe age. Dammit. It was a Denver the Last Dinosaur Christmas special. 🙄
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A ballet teacher named Tatyana with a tyrannical disposition.
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I've already been to 4 different stores in search of them. Imagine being so tired, stressed, and overall frustrated with life because you can't find some damn cookies. And it's only Monday. 🙀
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Tasty! I think I found my new breakfast for the foreseeable future.
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Harp lessons
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Alfie
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Overenthusiasm is a red flag for me. If that many things are "Ah-mazing" to you on an hourly basis, then you must have a really sinister grasp of reality and I'm willing to bet our hypothetical children will be plastered all over Facebook doing baby yoga or spilling kale smoothie everywhere as if that were an achievement.
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Must you reveal all the secrets? J/k
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I need to be personally invited to events. I don't do word of mouth anymore like those bonfires back in high school. I also need ample notification. If you text me last minute with some "oh I forgot to tell you, we're having a..." NOPE! I got other plans, even if I don't. I demand protocol, courtesy, and decorum at this…
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https://youtu.be/MKSmFqG3KJE
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https://youtu.be/xeyxY4wfdgI
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The 2nd girl at a speed dating event.
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Sometimes I watch those day in the life vlogs on YouTube where some 25 year old wakes up in the morning with no eye crust and goes straight to the gym. Then they stop at a Chick-fil-A and film themselves eating... oblivious to the crowded diner that surrounds them. After that they might do an unboxing of a new pair of…
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https://youtu.be/7yzGzQ8pu8E
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How dare you! That hamster meant a lot to me!
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Fitness seems to be more en vogue now. Those same people who once saw me as a pariah are now asking me when the next hike is scheduled, or which of the local gyms has the tightest buns. (j/k) You can say what you want about social media and "fitspo" but it's nice to see more people hiking or doing yoga and taking a zillion…
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It's a red flag if the first thing they want to know about me is my horoscope sign. Nothing could be more repelling than listening to someone with a coral reef necklace tell me all about myself and who I am going to become when the big asteroid hits my sun dial. It's like, dude, we're two strangers microwaving our corn…
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https://youtu.be/ytc_LxThldA
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Can we not use the ropes today 😖
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How many calories did we burn?
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I've seen that camel milk at the grocery store. What made me do a double take though was "Product of USA" on the label. Like where are we stashing camels at in this country? Probably in some huge tent somewhere in Ohio. Poor babies.
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MFP can mean so many things. You might see only letters of the alphabet, but if you think back to the Egyptians it's more complex than that. Each letter is a symbol, a sound, a concept. Now imagine what the power of 3 can unlock. So yes, MFP is supportive. But it's also transportive. It's locomotive. We're in a dimension…
