pauldbarnhart Member

What did you find in your mailbox yesterday? A bent coat hanger, 13 cents, a dry cleaners receipt, and a half-eaten banana sandwich.

What did the greedy priest consider to be in the collection plate? Strawberries, raspberries, and a ball peen hammer

was careful to avoid the dark until she was certain the grue was gone.

pried the tick out of her scalp

His parrot returned and landed on his shoulder.

He/she extricated the camera from his/her eye

@tnt008 - it wasn't intended to be a pissing contest....I thought we were all just joking around. Please accept my apologies if you were offended in any way.

Jumped in to save Paul, and hit his head on the bottom of the lake

realized he's holding his only friend :wink:

Realized her deodorant quit working

realized he was in a thread that challenged his alcohol inhibited mental capacities

dropped her cell phone in the commode, and while leaning over to retrieve it, accidentally bumped the flush lever, whereupon the phone clogged the commode, causing it to overflow, ruining her brand new stilettos.

I can tell you from experience - walking does work. My knees prevented me from doing anything but walk. I lost 60 pounds in a year or so, and there was a HUGE difference in my belly fat. No, I didn't develop washboard abs, but the difference was phenomenal, and ALL I did was walk. Eventually, I started running, but I did…

All this advice is worthless, unless one of those responding was your man. Not all men are the same, so getting advice from another man isn't normally going to help in your relationship. Neither is getting advice from another woman. For example - more oral is not necessarily what he wants. Sex (no matter how good it is)…

^ why would you blame tall people for your shortness? hee hee

can anyone tell me how this has gone on so long, and why the title of this thread is what it is?

why would you ask such a silly question?

I can't fire some of the morons I work with and replace them with intelligent life.

If a person from Michigan is called a Michigander, when you have a room full of people from Michigan, is it considered to be a gaggle of Michigeese?

And those of us from the lower peninsula of Michigan were occasionally referred to as "low-pers" when we went to university in the upper peninsula. Another nickname for us was "Trolls" because we lived "under the bridge", meaning we lived south of the Mackinaw Bridge that connects the two peninsulas of Michigan.

Ok, this one isn't a joke, but it's a good quote, attributed to Mark Twain: "It is interesting to note that criminals have multiplied of late, and lawyers have also; but I repeat myself."

Here's one from a silly movie I watched last weekend: "You must be French. You've got a lot of oui-oui"

@Darth...I would have thought that you would have some fine motivational quotes from the random thread... (where you been?)

Time to resurrect this post...to save you the trouble of going back to see what this is about....here's how it started: Tue 05/29/12 11:03 AM Heard this in a movie recently, and loved it. I'm thinking about making this my standard response to stupid questions/comments. Anybody recognize it? What's your favorite obscure…

tough call here..there are so many worthy causes. Hospice - if you've ever had a loved one that needed them, you'd understand World Vision - fantastic organization, doing incredible things while keeping their "overhead" expenses low. I could name a bunch more, but these two are on top

"Don't put off until tomorrow that which you can avoid doing completely" Oh...wait...this is motivational quotes...sorry, wrong thread....:laugh: :laugh:

I used to have trouble with my knees, but started taking glucosamine while doing my low impact exercises. As I lost weight (and kept up the glucosamine, my knees got stronger and gave me less and less trouble, until now they don't bother me, even when I run. But you might have more serious knee troubles, so you should…

Now that I've responded to the quotes question, can I leave?

Have none of you ever listened to Chicago (the band)?

wow..how do you expect me to keep up with this thread when it moves so fast?