Lawyer jokes

pauldbarnhart
pauldbarnhart Posts: 5,999 Member
in Chit-Chat
OK...... recent events have required me to retain an attorney. While this guy is decent, and I have a couple of friends that are attorneys, I still find lawyer jokes to be pretty funny, so share your best one!

Mine:

Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?


A: A good start.

Replies

  • hooktravellers
    hooktravellers Posts: 9 Member
    Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says, "I don't understand how you can be so much bigger than I am. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids... I just don't get it."
    "Well," says the big alligator, "what have you been eating?"
    "Lawyers, same as you," replies the small alligator.
    "Hmm. Well, where do you catch 'em?"
    "Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp."
    "Same here. Hmm. How do you catch 'em?"
    "Well, I crawl under a BMW and wait for someone to unlock the door. Then I jump out, bite 'em, shake the crap out of 'em, and eat 'em!"
    "Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. See, by the time you get done shakin' the crap out of a lawyer, there's nothing left but lips and a briefcase..."
  • Jersey_Devil
    Jersey_Devil Posts: 4,142 Member
    Stupid-Lawyers-Billboards-006-605x366.jpg
  • kristen807
    kristen807 Posts: 361
    The Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, a honest lawyer and an old drunk were walking down the street and come across a $100 dollar bill. Who gets the $100?

    The drunk of course, because the rest are fairy tale creatures
  • makemewannadie
    makemewannadie Posts: 401 Member
    I'm studying a law degree with plans to become a barrister after I finish, but i'm finding these hilarious (:
  • pauldbarnhart
    pauldbarnhart Posts: 5,999 Member
    Ok, this one isn't a joke, but it's a good quote, attributed to Mark Twain:

    "It is interesting to note that criminals have multiplied of late, and lawyers have also; but I repeat myself."

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