FloodlitWorld

Going on the internet and expecting anonymous strangers to be 100% nice is much like dressing up like a banana and visiting the monkey house... it ain't gonna go well, and faeces may fly.

Fluffy Dixon

Doesn't bode well for Catholic families.

Get your aim right with the licking though, I'll never get those six weeks back I spent at the sexual harassment seminar

... old socks in the house? No, what if I paid you? It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune ________________?

I don't even...

Touching the Void

A man walks into a butcher's shop and says to the butcher: "I bet you £200 that you can't reach the meat on that top shelf without a ladder!" "Nah, I'm not taking that bet!" "Why not?" "Because the steaks are too high"

I've been laughing for two minutes straight at this one. Love it!

Here lies Kevin Hollister (1990-2012) Diagnosed with kleptomania in 1998 Got his first job at the grenade factory in 2012

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are walking down the street at night when a man corners them and points a gun at them. "I've had enough of you women," he says. "Any last words before I shoot you?" The redhead steps forward, clears her throat and then looks behind him and yells out "Tornado!" The man turns around and the…

A scientist walks into a bar and says to the bartender: 'I'd like a cool glass of H2O please'. The guy sat next to him - wanting to appear smart - says: 'I'll have a glass of H20 too'. His funeral is on Monday.

I count getting out of bed in the morning as a sit-up.

I want to be a black man!

Far too many people are making Scooby Doo jokes! I hate you :-p

Can scratch if you steal her food!

is better than having a cotton ball and no face.

I learned that trampolining is a fun hobby, I learned that fencing is a fun hobby. I learned it's never a good idea to combine them.

There are way more metal-heads here than I was expecting, which is very cool. In all the gyms I've been to, you just get dance music on the TVs, which makes taking your own iPod mandatory. I'll have to try some Coheed & Cambria, would make for an epic workout :)

I've always wondered, what is a 'minor' subject, do they have them at all standard universities?

That is quite the harsh wake-up call Steve. I agree with what you're saying about small victories. It's easy to do things when you think they're temporary or even a one-off, but to actually change your lifestyle is constant psychological warfare, yet it's the only way to attain lasting success. Glad to hear of your…