is it considered flirting?
Replies
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Without knowing anything else- my guess is she's the workplace flirt who loves to have guys under her control. I've been you in that situation.
Best thing to do is play it like you aren't bothered about her at all. If you can slip into a conversation how you get on so well, it's like she's your sister...winner winner....make her wonder why you aren't bothered and she'll be onnnn you lol
If you believe it's a privilege for her to get with you then so will she...
Wow....a privilege? Seriously? Should she send you a thank you card and balloons the next day?
Totally, you better believe I think girls are lucky to get me! Not so bothered about the card, but balloons and a bacon sandwich always go down nice. Cup of tea as well please.
Seriously though I'm commenting on the attitude to maintain. If she's a flirt who likes getting guys to do as she wants, then to have someone who thinks he is better than her will totally freak her out and wonder what is so good about this dude? And then she'll want to find out.
At the end of the day we're all the same - we want what we can't have...
I think some are misunderstanding the "game". I don't think he's saying be super rooster like... just play hard to get... I sense the humor in his post. My hubby of seven years now played the same game and in the end we both won and we worked together. The chase is fun in my opinion. Being 21 I imagine you are looking to just hit it, I think this process will help determine if she is on the same page or not. The uncomfortable "at work" will help too, and pay attention to how she acts with other workers as well, is she touching all the eye candy? Then that's just her norm. Just you? She's interested likely. Good Luck with the girl but most of all the job.
That's exactly it. It's not about 'conning' someone into anything - just hot girls get millions of guys coming up to them so I just want to stand out to them. I believe I'm a cool guy and when they get to know me they'll like me, but if it was all based on looks then they may just reject me right off.0 -
;-) good choice of wordsShe was flirting.
Whether she wants to play a tune on the old pink oboe is another matter entirely...0 -
Wave your penis at her. Chicks dig that.
Totally, gets me everytime.
Yes, same here. Or show her how it doubles as a "coat rack"... yes, winner, winner, chicken dinner.
BTW - pix or it never happened. Just saying. Don't forget us MFP peeps need to live vicariously through you!0 -
you off.the chain bruh.....you are the definition of a "wild boy"!!!Wave your penis at her. Chicks dig that.
She's right. When I am too lazy to utter my usual pickup line of "Wanna f***?" I go with this.
:-D0 -
Without knowing anything else- my guess is she's the workplace flirt who loves to have guys under her control. I've been you in that situation.
Best thing to do is play it like you aren't bothered about her at all. If you can slip into a conversation how you get on so well, it's like she's your sister...winner winner....make her wonder why you aren't bothered and she'll be onnnn you lol
If you believe it's a privilege for her to get with you then so will she...
I agree.....I don't want women to mistake my arrogance.for cockiness....it's just.me..........besides who.doesnt like confidence....
Wow....a privilege? Seriously? Should she send you a thank you card and balloons the next day?
Totally, you better believe I think girls are lucky to get me! Not so bothered about the card, but balloons and a bacon sandwich always go down nice. Cup of tea as well please.
Seriously though I'm commenting on the attitude to maintain. If she's a flirt who likes getting guys to do as she wants, then to have someone who thinks he is better than her will totally freak her out and wonder what is so good about this dude? And then she'll want to find out.
At the end of the day we're all the same - we want what we can't have...
I think some are misunderstanding the "game". I don't think he's saying be super rooster like... just play hard to get... I sense the humor in his post. My hubby of seven years now played the same game and in the end we both won and we worked together. The chase is fun in my opinion. Being 21 I imagine you are looking to just hit it, I think this process will help determine if she is on the same page or not. The uncomfortable "at work" will help too, and pay attention to how she acts with other workers as well, is she touching all the eye candy? Then that's just her norm. Just you? She's interested likely. Good Luck with the girl but most of all the job.
That's exactly it. It's not about 'conning' someone into anything - just hot girls get millions of guys coming up to them so I just want to stand out to them. I believe I'm a cool guy and when they get to know me they'll like me, but if it was all based on looks then they may just reject me right off.0 -
i'd rather women respect me for my confidence ....hopefully they don't mistake my cockiness for arrogance!0
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OK, there has been some really funny stuff in this thread and I've enjoyed reading it. And there's also been some good advice.
On the chance that you're actually looking for some serious advice, I'm going to try to lay some out for you. Do with it what you will. Ignore it, whatever. But I will share some things I wish others had shared with me.
FTR, I am a older person with a lot of relationship and workplace experience in many different kinds of situations. I hope I've learned a thing or two over the years.
To answer your question - YES, it was flirting. Now the question is How do you respond?
From your other thread, it sounds like you are really excited about this job. And these days, it's great to even HAVE a job, so I'm coming from a place where I assume you want to KEEP this job, and even do well at it.
1. The workplace is really not the place to find "romance" (or whatever you want to call it). There's a reason there are tons of cliche's about "dipping your pen in the company ink" (also known as "dont #### where you eat.") It has SO much potential to turn out badly and end up with you losing your job, because YOU are the new guy. She's been there a while. You have no idea what the interpersonal dynamics are or the prior relationships around the restaurant.. Maybe it won't, maybe you'll be the rare guy who pulls it off (hehe). But look at this from a risk/reward situation. Even if the risk was low (it's NOT) , what's the reward - you get to bone one more hot chick. What's the possible negative outcome - you lose your job, and get a reputation for being unprofessional.
2. Don't flatter yourself. OK, I've looked at your profile, and you're a fit and attractive guy. No question. But you said she did this when you first met. She doesn't know you. All she did was look at you. Now I'm not saying that there always has to be a cosmic connection or something. Sometimes you just get the hots for someone, and that's great. But refer back to #1. Do you want to RISK what you have for what's likely a one- (or two-) off?
3. Also, you just met her. You don't know what her 'game" is. Maybe she's genually attracted to you. Maybe she's just manipulating. Maybe getting you on "her side" so she can use it later. Maybe she's testing you to report back to the owner. You don't know. As tempting as short term gratification might be, it's always better to "Get the lay of the land" first.
4. Workplace laws aren't always evenly applied. A lot of stuff could be called harrassment. One person can do it and nothing happens to them. Someone else does it and BOOM, the hammer falls. Remember, you're the nw guy - no one is vested in protecting you, helping you, coming to your defense.
Yeah, if you do it (her), some of the other people at the restaurant will be "yeah, baby - what a stud." But others will be "What a pig - I wouldn't hire him." Or simply "Ha - he got played." Until you know the poeple around there better, you won't know.
SO what do I recommend?
Spend some time getting to know the place, the pre-existing relationships and alliances, the hierarchy (every work place has one). Whose opinions matter and whose "don't." (We all matter, but I think you know what I mean.)
And let them get to know you. Not just hot chick,. but also the other people around the restaurant. That will give them some context, some frame of reference to place your behaviour in. So, if later on, you DO have a "relationship" with someone in the workplace (or any other kind of workplace issue), they'll know you're a good guy and not a playa (or whatever).
And in the meantime, feel free to flirt, flirt, flirt if you want. Joke around. TALK a game. Give and take. Not just with her, but with anyone. It's a good way to get to know people and build rapport. But don't cross the line into action - at least not unti you KNOW how things are around there. (And by then she may not look as attractive.)
Sorry this was so long!
Good luck with the new job.0 -
Aaannnndd.......
My "talent" as a thread killer strikes again.
Please return to your previous hilarity and never mind me!0 -
Aaannnndd.......
My "talent" as a thread killer strikes again.
Please return to your previous hilarity and never mind me!
^^^Funny^^^ You gave great advice, I'm sure he will find it useful.0 -
Dude, she's a waitress. She flirts with people daily for tips. She probably thinks if she flirts with you, you'll get her orders ready faster and she will get better tips.0
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You must be a young boy to even post this...................my guidance and tutorials on females and how to deal with them is online Thursday night 7-8 at women101.com0
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Without knowing anything else- my guess is she's the workplace flirt who loves to have guys under her control. I've been you in that situation.
Best thing to do is play it like you aren't bothered about her at all. If you can slip into a conversation how you get on so well, it's like she's your sister...winner winner....make her wonder why you aren't bothered and she'll be onnnn you lol
If you believe it's a privilege for her to get with you then so will she...
that definetely wouldn't work - sorry.. if a boy told me he saw me as his sister - i would assume that role in response and take it as a no chance - most of my friends would too.0 -
I'd hit it if I were you.0
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Just walk up to her and lick her face. If she's interested she'll lick back.
LOL...Omg, that is hilarious!0 -
Get your aim right with the licking though, I'll never get those six weeks back I spent at the sexual harassment seminar0
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What would I do? Probably wake up.0
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She claimed you! Hit it or hold out if there is a better looking girl.0
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Maybe she just wanted to know if you were real :laugh: jk
Just let things go with the flow, no need to complicate things
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Aaannnndd.......
My "talent" as a thread killer strikes again.
Please return to your previous hilarity and never mind me!
^^^Funny^^^ You gave great advice, I'm sure he will find it useful.
that's was advice only giving from the heart and I respect it.....it was the best answer as far as in maturity honesty and very grounding.....thank you0 -
OK, there has been some really funny stuff in this thread and I've enjoyed reading it. And there's also been some good advice.
On the chance that you're actually looking for some serious advice, I'm going to try to lay some out for you. Do with it what you will. Ignore it, whatever. But I will share some things I wish others had shared with me.
FTR, I am a older person with a lot of relationship and workplace experience in many different kinds of situations. I hope I've learned a thing or two over the years.
To answer your question - YES, it was flirting. Now the question is How do you respond?
From your other thread, it sounds like you are really excited about this job. And these days, it's great to even HAVE a job, so I'm coming from a place where I assume you want to KEEP this job, and even do well at it.
1. The workplace is really not the place to find "romance" (or whatever you want to call it). There's a reason there are tons of cliche's about "dipping your pen in the company ink" (also known as "dont #### where you eat.") It has SO much potential to turn out badly and end up with you losing your job, because YOU are the new guy. She's been there a while. You have no idea what the interpersonal dynamics are or the prior relationships around the restaurant.. Maybe it won't, maybe you'll be the rare guy who pulls it off (hehe). But look at this from a risk/reward situation. Even if the risk was low (it's NOT) , what's the reward - you get to bone one more hot chick. What's the possible negative outcome - you lose your job, and get a reputation for being unprofessional.
2. Don't flatter yourself. OK, I've looked at your profile, and you're a fit and attractive guy. No question. But you said she did this when you first met. She doesn't know you. All she did was look at you. Now I'm not saying that there always has to be a cosmic connection or something. Sometimes you just get the hots for someone, and that's great. But refer back to #1. Do you want to RISK what you have for what's likely a one- (or two-) off?
3. Also, you just met her. You don't know what her 'game" is. Maybe she's genually attracted to you. Maybe she's just manipulating. Maybe getting you on "her side" so she can use it later. Maybe she's testing you to report back to the owner. You don't know. As tempting as short term gratification might be, it's always better to "Get the lay of the land" first.
4. Workplace laws aren't always evenly applied. A lot of stuff could be called harrassment. One person can do it and nothing happens to them. Someone else does it and BOOM, the hammer falls. Remember, you're the nw guy - no one is vested in protecting you, helping you, coming to your defense.
Yeah, if you do it (her), some of the other people at the restaurant will be "yeah, baby - what a stud." But others will be "What a pig - I wouldn't hire him." Or simply "Ha - he got played." Until you know the poeple around there better, you won't know.
SO what do I recommend?
Spend some time getting to know the place, the pre-existing relationships and alliances, the hierarchy (every work place has one). Whose opinions matter and whose "don't." (We all matter, but I think you know what I mean.)
And let them get to know you. Not just hot chick,. but also the other people around the restaurant. That will give them some context, some frame of reference to place your behaviour in. So, if later on, you DO have a "relationship" with someone in the workplace (or any other kind of workplace issue), they'll know you're a good guy and not a playa (or whatever).
And in the meantime, feel free to flirt, flirt, flirt if you want. Joke around. TALK a game. Give and take. Not just with her, but with anyone. It's a good way to get to know people and build rapport. But don't cross the line into action - at least not unti you KNOW how things are around there. (And by then she may not look as attractive.)
Sorry this was so long!
Good luck with the new job.
I agree it was long but needed most people would take this as a holding situation or think im "making this up" either way respect you and much love peace and blessings....0 -
for those being negative .... .wanting a response from me will never ever get one ....if u can't respect me don't click my thread....usually if you got something negative to say u say it to that person directly and whatever happens it is what it is........I don't play games I keep it real.....seeing as how this is the internet Its not that serious.......but if im young etc etc so be it .....don't be a hater that's a feminine trait...... don't take my kindness for a weakness!!!
on another note appreciate the responses especially the jokes and wisdom......:-D0 -
SMART FELLA!!! I do this and Guys are afraid to talk to me. Maybe Its the BYTCH LOOK!!! lol..Without knowing anything else- my guess is she's the workplace flirt who loves to have guys under her control. I've been you in that situation.
Best thing to do is play it like you aren't bothered about her at all. If you can slip into a conversation how you get on so well, it's like she's your sister...winner winner....make her wonder why you aren't bothered and she'll be onnnn you lol
If you believe it's a privilege for her to get with you then so will she...0 -
Dude, she's a waitress. She flirts with people daily for tips. She probably thinks if she flirts with you, you'll get her orders ready faster and she will get better tips.
haahahahah.. YEP!!! when i waited tables.. THIS WAS ME.. made on average 8-1k a week.. she may JUST be smart! lol0 -
Dave... so unnecessary... smh.... Go enjoy your Birthday!You must be a young boy to even post this...................my guidance and tutorials on females and how to deal with them is online Thursday night 7-8 at women101.com0 -
for those being negative .... .wanting a response from me will never ever get one ....if u can't respect me don't click my thread....usually if you got something negative to say u say it to that person directly and whatever happens it is what it is........I don't play games I keep it real.....seeing as how this is the internet Its not that serious.......but if im young etc etc so be it .....don't be a hater that's a feminine trait...... don't take my kindness for a weakness!!!
on another note appreciate the responses especially the jokes and wisdom......:-D
Oh, you were serious? Opps!0 -
Oooooo can she make a decent sammich? Chest stroking and sammich making is the key to a relationship. *nods*0
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I recently got hired as chef In an italian restaurant.....after meeting everyone I was greeted by a female waitress who shook my hand softly ....after a formal introduction .....she placed.her finger on my left chest muscle like in a soft poking gesture....as she slowly brushed passed and walked.away.....what would u do? how would you react? what do you think I should do the next time we are around each other?
Shes testing you... Be on guard. Your new to that job. You don't want her to mess it up for ya.
Did you appreciate that? If you did, go for it. If you didn't, just be on guard. Some try to manipulate like that. Maybe thats just her way of being accepting of a new face at work. Some people are more touchy feely. Who knows.0 -
FIRST ---- congratulations on the job!!!
SECOND
on the off chance she was simply "messing around" with you, and because you are in the workplace it's "SAFER" to allow her to make the first move (actually I guess she has already done that). No matter what, don't ask her out during your shift; just in case she was harmless flirting and takes offense to it, or your boss learns of it and assumes you are using work hours to hook up with one of the waitresses.
THIRD
If she's off shift before you, ask her to stick around because you'd like to cook something special for her. She'll get the hint and maybe stick around after she's eaten until you are off work.....0 -
FIRST ---- congratulations on the job!!!
SECOND
on the off chance she was simply "messing around" with you, and because you are in the workplace it's "SAFER" to allow her to make the first move (actually I guess she has already done that). No matter what, don't ask her out during your shift; just in case she was harmless flirting and takes offense to it, or your boss learns of it and assumes you are using work hours to hook up with one of the waitresses.
THIRD
If she's off shift before you, ask her to stick around because you'd like to cook something special for her. She'll get the hint and maybe stick around after she's eaten until you are off work.....
thank you bruh much respect ......I defently like the perspective u gave on how the boss would look @ it......in response to asking her if If i.can fix.her something to eat when her shift is done...that good point ...good game and a harmless way to initiate a convo with out arousing suspicions.....:-D thank you!!!0
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