julesboots Member

I just looked at your profile here, and you are young and super cute! So, I'm going to be the one telling you not to lose confidence. I'm wondering if the struggle is more getting written responses or follow up dates?

I think the disconnect between people being willing to do something, but not say something on the issue of stating racial preferences is just because it can imply racism. Not that it is racism (however you want to define that in this context) because a dating preference isn't necessarily that. It's just who you're…

In agreement that someone contacting you with a big "I love BBW" banner to you in the message is tacky, but I also wonder if some guys have experienced bigger women not believing that bigger was actually their preference? And it takes some convincing? When I met my ex husband I was 5'5' and 110 lbs.- basically a stick.…

Ha! I think I did that growl outloud for the first time in my life last night. (Frozen yogurt is the new meat market for the 30-50 crowd- so many cute guys) Anyway, I have no idea how physical activity is judged without l assessing weight/body fat, even though I know that those aren't always good indicators. I totally…

I think this is a good place to start! However a person feels comfortable putting themselves out into the dating world, right? Acknowledging the lack of control is super smart- good for you. I don't have tons of experience with online dating, but it seems to require that you sit on your ego and ride it out. It also seems…

The freaky social experiment part is so off-putting. I've always just imagined some kind of Baudrillardian rabbit hole where I couldn't stop giggling or saying inappropriate things because it's so simulated. That's awesome, sounds like the people at your event kind of embraced that.

Uh-oh. Back away slowly. Don't make sudden moves. A kid that age who calls himself "...a broken shell of a man" could potentially be that. Yuck. But really, lots of boys that age are angry about one thing or another (I hear statements like his all the time working with adolescents) and he obviously has very poor social…

Wow, I had no idea what a dreamboard was, either. Kind of like cutting pictures of River Phoenix out of Tiger Beat in 4th grade? He was dreamy.... That was a cute youtube, and I especially enjoyed the drag element- might not have been so cute, otherwise. I've said maybe 60-70% of those things, but not so much in the last…

Diesel, Paige, and SFAM (seven for all mankind). I'm smaller waisted and bigger hipped. Low rise works best for me.

I agree with all of these points, and now it's time to decide if it's worth further pursuit. It sounds like he was terrified. If you end up talking more with him, you could always try to deconstruct the date a little to get his perspective? When I was that age, it was one extreme or the other. Totally insane risk taking or…

I agree that "occasionally" usually means all the time, but in defense of the few that are actually occasional users- they do exist. An example being a good friend that I'm about to start dinner for: 45, well educated, cultured, single dad doing super well on his own, and is just basically awesome (but waaay too…

Halloumi is a type of cheese that you can grill (not melty) and it's AWESOME. It's sold in regular groceries where I live, but might be specialty in other places. Also kebob? You could check out more traditional ways it's made with different meats, and try at home.

Sweet, you're just like the rosetta stone!

Agree with this, wait at least a week, and until you've had a few causal interactions. However, if you do try to get her to come over for a drink or something, and she declines, don't necessarily assume failure-depending on how old her kids are and how comfortable she feels leaving them for a little bit. Also: am jealous.…

I wonder if it's just me, or are the op's posts in this thread too cryptic to actually understand? There are some basic ways to temper your feelings for someone like: no contact, throw away reminder objects, distract yourself with new activities and friends, but I'm not sure what's really being asked here.

Thank you- have been looking for lime/cilantro sauces!

I've thought a lot about this lately, too. There were a few kinks with my last relationship related to children that neither of us dealt with very effectively, but I'm hoping I've learned something... Our only daughters were best friends, and this is how we met. Having kids the same age (artificial twinning) is hard…

Your description is totally hilarious. I am dying. It sends me out into world giggling like an 8 yr old. (having to see both ex husband and ex boyfriend- I need to move) so thank you, and Im sorry about this guy's dental scene.

Other parents are often more flexible/forgiving than you might think. "I worry too much about how my son will be" is such a heartbreaking statement; I'm so sorry. My professional background gives me some insight here, and I'm a single parent who also struggles with degrees of isolation (though in a different way). Don't…

My marriage devolved so that I hardly remember the things that are on others' "I miss" lists, too. I also loved having him drive me around. Generally, and the things I miss from my most recent relationship are: holding hands, laughing, reading something and talking about it, and lots of other things that I'm not poetic…

In agreement with all above posts, communication is where it's at. But, if it comes down to both people wanting to be submissive or dominant (I think if your tendency is strong in this area, it is really hard to swap roles), or if one required it to be gentle or rough all the time- I would have to really consider things.…

This is interesting. Within the context of family, it's really hard to shake some of the labels the we're given. Generally, my siblings were (and sort of still are): #1: academic super star, emotional #2: flake, self destructive, independent #3: (me) artsy, rebellious, sensitive #4: Judgmental, reserved, healthy (male…

I agree about not having experienced an actual relationship that starts with heavy overt flirting. Those situations tend to go nowhere with me. They're fun, but are in some ways ultimately not sustainable. Again, I agree that touch is a good indicator, and would add that little favors are, too. My ex husband cleaned out my…

ot: Aw, you ARE beautiful (especially with dark hair).

WTF-ever. Trying too hard because you invited him for a drink? Ignore this.

Not really weight related, but I definitely avoided men the 4 yrs. post divorce before my daughter was in school. I could hardly make eye contact with another human. Then a waaaay too young mechanic/ph.d student working on my car reminded me I wasn't 80 yrs old.

"Snickerdoodle" is kind of awkward, but generally, I think that kind of infantalizing (or elderizing?) is flirty and sweet. I'd give it back to him- and agree that "pookums" would be funny.

I made my friend based intentions clear very early on, and I think that's where it'll stay. He was super smart and very quick, and think we were both wondering which way it would turn. Other than not being a love connection, it was relaxed and fun.

High five!

I had a very smooth experience with this recently, and the lunch date was today. I asked him to lunch, he accepted and gave me a few areas in the city to choose from, I chose a restaurant in one of those areas, he replied that "Thai would not be a good look on me for a first meeting" which made me laugh, so he suggested a…