runlaugheatpie Member

I do understand what you are saying but yes, I've most definitely been in deficit.

I've done the reduction of calories. Nothing happened. Did it a few times actually. Had the feeling I was not eating enough. So I went back up. Back down. I've done all this for well over a year. I just maintain. I gained a couple of kilos last year from being sidelined/injured, and now I'm maintaining there. I do…

Thank you for responding. But I've already done the whole deficit thing. I'm not losing weight. I've adjusted TDEE, I've logged carefully, weighed, measured, underestimated burns, everything. So I'd love to find that number but no one seems to be able to tell me how to do that, unfortunately.

I can hit my calorie goal. I'm not losing weight. I had bloods done and I'm menopausal but do not have any irregularities with thyroid, glucose, cortisol, etc. So when I talk about this with others I keep hearing "IF" and "Keto". I don't want to do Keto. But when I read about IF everything (generalising) says stop at 8pm.…

I haven't read all the comments yet but I wanted to reply: I have definitely gained weight. I believe a combination of depression (emotional eating), less exercise (last year I had surgery on my foot in March and in August found out in a very painful way that I had a herniated disc. Prior to that I was very active -…

there's no reason not to have a cheat day if he's logging it.

what makes you so sure of this? you don't know what he's doing to burn that. Let's say it is off, why only 25-30%? Then you say "look up the calorie burns on this site" and say that they are exaggerated in the next sentence. So what is it then?

Amazing how in this entire thread there was still advice giving rather than empathy, apart from a couple of people.

well, gosh! I stand corrected. thank you for giving up your time, for sacrificing those precious moments to give me unsolicited feedback! I will definitely ponder on all you wrote and hopefully change my ways in the future.

I pretty much did that on my own feed and got a patronising response. Not empathy.

My complaint was about posting on my own feed, not here on the forums. Pretty sure I wouldn't have even started this thread if I didn't have a thick skin.

perhaps those are the groups I need then.

I literally was not asking a question. I was expressing something on my wall and saying I was just frustrated about it. So I'm not asking any tedious questions. and if it's so tedious then WHY on earth still come here and offer your constantly-repeated advise? if you want to help then clue in when people need some empathy…

no one is giving up their free time to try and help. we're all on here for the same reason. If I'm truly putting someone out then I would hope they would just scroll on by. thanks for the unsolicited feedback as well.

thanks for the hug. what is the point of being on MFP then if not for support?

for a moment there I thought you were agreeing with me. But now I'm rude I guess. No one is volunteering their time here just to help others. Everyone is here for their own benefit.

hahahaha yes ok. it's my fault. I made it extremely clear what I said. So it should be pretty clear I'm looking for something besides advise. but, ok.

again i AM my own cheerleader. that is not what my post is about. sometimes even cheerleaders need a hug.

does it really matter if it was on my feed or in the forum? I see it here all the time as well. Empathy is missing.

I am interested in helpful advise! But when I post "I know x y and z, but I'm just frustrated" how is that your (general you) cue to start telling me what I'm doing wrong, or "I already told you blah blah blah"? Do you not know the difference between when someone is asking for advise and when someone just needs a virtual…

thank you but that's why I'm here. I don't want to be my only cheerleader. I'm alone in this. and sometimes I'm frustrated. I see it here in the forums too - assuming someone "must" be doing it wrong, "possibly" is a diabetic, that sort of thing. I wanted to have friends on MFP to support and give support. I chose the…

I did. Now I'm Nancy Nofriends :p

you are missing the point of EMPATHY entirely. spinach in my teeth is something different to a feeling of frustration after doing "all the things that everyone says you should do" and not seeing results.

that's not the issue. the issue is how one is feeling even though they are doing the CICO/TDEE/all other things "right". The "feeling" is what needs empathy. Not once again suggesting xy or z when one is already following xy or z.

there is a time and place for knowledge and advise, especially when one is soliciting that. but sometimes you need a virtual "that sucks" kind of hug/pat on the shoulder. and that's what I'm missing.

I'll repeat myself again. i'm talking about posting on my own MFP wall. So the audience is just "friends"

I am talking about posting on my own MFP wall. not in a general forum.

I'm posting on my own MFP wall. And everyone responding is an expert in their own minds. in the meantime I'm busy with this for much longer than they are. I know a lot about weight, anatomy, physiology, exercise and nutrition. IF I AM SAYING I AM FRUSTRATED IT'S AN OPTION TO SHOW EMPATHY or just don't say anything at all.

you are misunderstanding me. If I clearly say I know "xyz" but I'm just frustrated right now then it's ALSO AN OPTION TO SAY "I know you are working hard and I am sorry you feel frustrated" You don't say "well as I explained to you before, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah" I just said that I knew that. I'm feeling…

just because someone is 300lbs does not mean they are diabetic. :|