Empathy is also motivation and support (a slight rant?)

Loved your post!! And yes, I agree with you. Too many times comments are picked wayyyy apart and someone's super intelligence is shared when all we want is a little support, a basic knowledge or something along those lines. I've noticed it much more often lately than before. Maybe I'm grumpy due to the season, bored and spend too much time here, saw it before but am just barely voicing my feelings, or there was a straw somewhere that broke the camel's back. Reading the word toxic awhile back hit home, and sometimes we just need to speak up and voice our opinions. I believe everybody here is trying very hard to live their best life yet. And I do realize attempting a conversation via a forum is VERY different than face-to-face. But we do need to keep in mind how the tone can be picked up, what the OP is actually needing, and not end up talking in depth and beyond to show all our college knowledge.

I even mentioned to someone else here that it's a darn good thing we don't discuss politics or religion. At least none that I've seen.

And you described it well......I'm looking for support, motivation, some 'hang in there' but what I'm NOT looking for is to feel like a dumbass, as you said. So, no need to get out the fire extinguisher for me. But then, I'm sure I'll get many disagrees.

What happens when you have spinach in your teeth?
Fake people that don't care say you look lovely
Real friends hand you a toothpick or some floss and say hey you have a little spinach in your teeth.
The support here is the second much more useful type.

amtyrell wrote: »

What happens when you have spinach in your teeth?
Fake people that don't care say you look lovely
Real friends hand you a toothpick or some floss and say hey you have a little spinach in your teeth.
The support here is the second much more useful type.

reminds me of when I was on a first date years ago. I ordered a salad that had black olives in it. Sometime long after the salad and trying to impress this girl, I went to the restroom and checked my teeth and had black olives stuck in every upper tooth. 🤣

cmriverside wrote: »

Here's human nature (from me, the expert.)

If you tell someone about a problem you have, they want to help. It's not judgey or mean for them to want to help you.

If you don't want people trying to help you, don't tell them about your problems.

They would be happier and so would you.

Thanks for saying this. I was just about to go down the same path. Look at the response you got. Lol.

runlaugheatpie wrote: »

nighthawk584 wrote: »

In one way or another we all understand what you are going through with weight loss issues. Just cheerleading for the sake of cheerleading helps no one! Sharing advice or things that work or worked for us does! It's ultimately up to you to be your own motivator. I gave you a hug.

I'm not asking for cheerleading for the sake of cheerleading. I'm saying stop giving one's so called expert knowledge (because unless you are a doctor or an RD or you are inside my body , you don't know for sure) when someone clearly says they are just frustrated. Just be empathetic. you don't have to have the answer or take out your imaginary tool box to give someone a tool they already tried to use.

Calories in Calories out. That's NOT "imaginary". Pretty straightforward and simple if one has the will to be consistent with it.

ReenieHJ wrote: »

Define real friends?? I 'like' many people on the forums here, like what they have to say BUT I wouldn't go as far as to say any of them are my friends. And many, I have found, are very intimidating.
With that said, and this is JMO but some people come off as definite know-it-alls. While, sure, a little knowledge goes a long way, more knowledge, or picking apart every single solitary word, is over the top annoying.
Is there something wrong with simply showing empathy or compassion or understanding? Is it more important to be kind or right??

No one HAS to post. If you are not getting what you want out of the forums or find certain posters intimidating, irritating, picky, not sensitive,........well maybe the forums are not for you. Trying to change how the forums here work would be difficult. There are rules. Has anyone broken them? If they have you can contact the mods.

runlaugheatpie wrote: »

Chef_Barbell wrote: »

runlaugheatpie wrote: »

nighthawk584 wrote: »

In one way or another we all understand what you are going through with weight loss issues. Just cheerleading for the sake of cheerleading helps no one! Sharing advice or things that work or worked for us does! It's ultimately up to you to be your own motivator. I gave you a hug.

I'm not asking for cheerleading for the sake of cheerleading. I'm saying stop giving one's so called expert knowledge (because unless you are a doctor or an RD or you are inside my body , you don't know for sure) when someone clearly says they are just frustrated. Just be empathetic. you don't have to have the answer or take out your imaginary tool box to give someone a tool they already tried to use.

Then you probably shouldnt post questions where anyone can answer, if you want to control the answers you receive. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I am talking about posting on my own MFP wall. not in a general forum.

Excuse me--but do you know where you are? Are you lost?