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1. So are the women in mine. Calories in < calories out. 2. I'm a woman. I've lost weight. Stop embarrassing your gender, put down the pies, and get your *kitten* on a treadmill. 3. You've been working so hard you can't use a website SPECIFICALLY DEVELOPED to make it easier for you to log calories. So you won't even take…
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You're obviously not doing it right. Calories in less than calories out for a sustained period of time, and you'll lose weight. IT WORKS. Unless you want to argue with Einstein's Annus Mirabilis paper, then just eat less than you use. It's not difficult.
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The vast majority of exercises won't help if you've still got a 'lot to lose'. For most, stomach/hips is the last place you lose it. I wouldn't worry - you can't be toned if you're above your target weight. When you get closer to it (last 5-10 pounds), think about planks, ab toning exercises, etc.