RE: Online Dating....don't you hate it when.................
Moe4572
Posts: 1,428 Member
You email all day with someone and seem to be getting along great, even discuss meeting and then NOTHING.........
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Hmm... there may be a couple reasons as to why that happens. My guess is either they're already committed to someone i.e.: GF or wife. Or, they happened to be playing the field and found someone else who interests them a bit more.
I hate it when I send a respectful pleasant message and hear absolutely nothing in return. It gives me the impression they're snobs. ?? Is it the nice guy is finishing last again?0 -
Yep had the happen before. The guy would only contact me while I was working and then proceeded to get pissy that I wasn't instantly getting back to him even after I told him I was at work. Well then he could only blow up my email until 3:30 and then nothing. Come to find out he was married.0
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I hate it when I get a message from someone who *clearly* didn't even read my profile and then he gets aggressive when I don't respond.0
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I hate it when I send a respectful pleasant message and hear absolutely nothing in return. It gives me the impression they're snobs. ?? Is it the nice guy is finishing last again?
Not necessarily. I signed up for match.com on a lark a few months ago just to see what was out there but never had any intention of actually doing anything with it. So I don't pay for the service. I get notices fairly regularly that someone emailed me, but I'm not paying (however much it costs) to read an email when I don't even know who sent it, so...
it's very possible that I've "ignored' some decent guys. It wasn't personal.0 -
I get what you're saying. But I use the free sites like POF or OK Cupid where it's free to read and send messages. It used to upset me but now I take it for what it's worth. And that's not too much....0
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I hate it when I send a respectful pleasant message and hear absolutely nothing in return. It gives me the impression they're snobs. ?? Is it the nice guy is finishing last again?
Not necessarily. I signed up for match.com on a lark a few months ago just to see what was out there but never had any intention of actually doing anything with it. So I don't pay for the service. I get notices fairly regularly that someone emailed me, but I'm not paying (however much it costs) to read an email when I don't even know who sent it, so...
it's very possible that I've "ignored' some decent guys. It wasn't personal.
When I first started match I responded to everyone. It was a huge time suck. I think I had received almost 200 e-mails in the first 3 days. I would get sucked into conversations with guys I wasn't attracted to (mentally or physically). You could almost feel their excitement about getting 'a live one' and I would feel bad about ultimately saying no thanks.
Now I have changed my ways. If it sounds in any way generic or doesn't cite something specific to my profile? I won't respond, even if I think the guy is handsome or has a good profile.
Unless it's really quiet at work..on a Thursday and there aren't any fun articles on buzzfeed. Even then, I just call them on it and joke around in a friendly way. Or sometimes I send unsolicited advice...
If someone does include a detailed e-mail to me, I will respond even just to say, thank you but no thank you. But also, each time you correspond with someone, your matches get skewed as a result. So the 55 year old surfer who shares none of my same interests? Won't typically get a response.
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Hmm... there may be a couple reasons as to why that happens. My guess is either they're already committed to someone i.e.: GF or wife. Or, they happened to be playing the field and found someone else who interests them a bit more.
I would agree with this statement. I personally found in my area online dating of free sites like POF and OK are hook up sites for sex only or no commitment people no matter what the profile says. I have completely stopped dating online I have better luck hitting on the man standing on the corner waiting for the bus.0 -
Hmm... there may be a couple reasons as to why that happens. My guess is either they're already committed to someone i.e.: GF or wife. Or, they happened to be playing the field and found someone else who interests them a bit more.
I hate it when I send a respectful pleasant message and hear absolutely nothing in return. It gives me the impression they're snobs. ?? Is it the nice guy is finishing last again?
I think they're afraid you're too good to be true or women are looking for that ego boost wanting a guy to contact them with no intentions of responding back.
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Hmm... there may be a couple reasons as to why that happens. My guess is either they're already committed to someone i.e.: GF or wife. Or, they happened to be playing the field and found someone else who interests them a bit more.
I hate it when I send a respectful pleasant message and hear absolutely nothing in return. It gives me the impression they're snobs. ?? Is it the nice guy is finishing last again?
Without seeing what you're writing, it's impossible to say whether they're snobs or if there's something in your message that isn't translating. "Hi beautiful, what are you up to today?" is a pleasant and respectful message, but it's so generic that it almost screams "I didn't read your profile, I'm just fishing." Or maybe your message is fine but you haven't spent enough time on your profile. Someone with a vague profile makes me wonder if they change their personality to match the recipient.
But if this is only an occasional problem for you, it's probably them. They're snobs, nonexistent, just fishing, or really should get around to deleting their profile. I wouldn't give them another thought.
But to the OP: Probably a married dude just trying to see if he still has it. Ugh.0 -
I will go through periods where I get on for a few days and then I get busy with life or just tired of the whole online dating thing and disappear for a few weeks. I am sure the people I was talking to for those few days are like "WTF?!?!"0
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when you get a message that says "wow you're beautiful" yet they don't have a picture of themselves. Kind of seems odd that you will comment on someones appearance yet hide your own.0
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You email all day with someone and seem to be getting along great, even discuss meeting and then NOTHING.........Hmm... there may be a couple reasons as to why that happens. My guess is either they're already committed to someone i.e.: GF or wife. Or, they happened to be playing the field and found someone else who interests them a bit more.
^He's probably right about already being committed!! I met a guy, dated for a few months, thought it was getting serious then he disappeared and NOTHING. He WAS married. I called to see what had happened and she answered. Her response to him, "Seriously, another one." That was when I stepped away from online dating for awhile...
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I called to see what had happened and she answered. Her response to him, "Seriously, another one."
Gosh! What an arsehole!! I really think married people that lie about it should not be forgiven......grrrrr!
On a more practical note, was there anything (in hindsight) that gave it away before you found out? Something that you would advise we check, like where he lived, or what time he didnt answer his phone etc.....0 -
I kinda hate everything about online dating...yet I still do it, lol.0
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I keep getting the Scammers, Want My $$$!
Is there anyone real out there?0 -
Ya I am suffering the same thing. Had one guy who I got along with at least messaging well, and POOF! Now I have one guy who is thinking he can "tame" me with his male unit. I told him, I doubt it's made of platinum. That is not one way to win me for sure. Although I do seem to be a magnet for inmates... Ironic since I work in a prison. Needless to say I have to report them. I think I will just stick with my animals and live life that way.0
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I just bought a tablet for home use so I'll give online dating a shot...we'll see........0
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I met my hubby through online dating. Of course, I met a few jerks along the way too!
I tried online dating twice: The first time was an abysmal failure because I wasn't happy with myself and I only attracted other people who weren't truly happy with themselves either. You know the saying "hurt people hurt people." Plus I didn’t know that some of the things I thought were “good things” to do or say on a date actually communicated something else to the guy I was with. I didn’t know that most people approaching me online were just looking for diversions, not relationships. I learned a LOT through forums like this and from guys I dated but clearly wasn’t a match for.
I actually got dumped by someone in this forum with a long post about how we really weren't dating- that I was just gap filler til the real thing came along and that he’d never really want religious woman especially one with kids. It hurt since we were talking on the phone every night and taking trips with my son, but it also did something amazing for me: It motivated me to be “more like a guy” and focus on just having fun. I opened my Match.com profile went back online and decided to go out with everyone who asked me out, whether or not I thought it would work out. Apparently only choosing guys I thought looked compatible was not working.
What did I change the 2nd time around? Well, I insisted on meeting within a week of contact, in public places (not hidden out of the way places) to drastically reduce the number of guys who were only looking for affairs/diversions. I also did NOT take down my profile or stop accepting dates until the “we’re exclusive” talk. I had so many guys contacting me that this helped me not get too attached before I could get to know who he really was.
In the 4 months before I started dating my husband exclusively, I went on 40+ dates and had a blast! One week was 4 guys! That was TOO much! Most of the guys were nice guys who really wanted to get married. We just weren’t compatible long term. Only one was a jerk. And one I was a jerk to without realizing it til it was too late. Most are still facebook friends and many have gotten married since.
I think the way my profile was written the 2nd time around really filtered out the riff-raff along with my “I’m not in a rush to get married, let’s just have fun and see where this goes” attitude, and a disinclination to get intimate before commitment.
I’m writing all that to give you hope. When I joined this board, I think most people here figured I’d be the LAST person to ever actually find a compatible mate (after all, the less “normal” you are, the harder it is to find someone who is a great partner) but I want to encourage you that it can be done!
Blessings,
JJ
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Your post was quite interesting..thanks for you insight!0
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When you meet and find their profile picture should be the 'before' shot on a 'stay away from meth' ad.0
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When you find people on a dating site that work in your office....and you find out they have a girlfriend, and have had a SERIOUS girlfriend (living together!) for over a year?
I finally deleted all of my dating apps. I realized that I was going about it the wrong way.....I'm learning that I need to focus on myself right now, and once I am happy with myself, I can be happy with someone else.
Side note though, 95% of the guys that messaged me just wanted to sleep with me. Definitely sad and disappointing.0 -
When you find people on a dating site that work in your office....and you find out they have a girlfriend, and have had a SERIOUS girlfriend (living together!) for over a year?
god that is so awkward, even if they are single...
or how about when you actually land a date with a guy that you legitimately had a good time with and he texts you pretty much every other day that week after but with no follow through on asking for a second date and then suddenly... he disappears...
stupid tinder culture, i swear... always something better a swipe away. dating sucks LOL.0 -
I met my hubby through online dating. Of course, I met a few jerks along the way too!
I tried online dating twice: The first time was an abysmal failure because I wasn't happy with myself and I only attracted other people who weren't truly happy with themselves either. You know the saying "hurt people hurt people." Plus I didn’t know that some of the things I thought were “good things” to do or say on a date actually communicated something else to the guy I was with. I didn’t know that most people approaching me online were just looking for diversions, not relationships. I learned a LOT through forums like this and from guys I dated but clearly wasn’t a match for.
I actually got dumped by someone in this forum with a long post about how we really weren't dating- that I was just gap filler til the real thing came along and that he’d never really want religious woman especially one with kids. It hurt since we were talking on the phone every night and taking trips with my son, but it also did something amazing for me: It motivated me to be “more like a guy” and focus on just having fun. I opened my Match.com profile went back online and decided to go out with everyone who asked me out, whether or not I thought it would work out. Apparently only choosing guys I thought looked compatible was not working.
What did I change the 2nd time around? Well, I insisted on meeting within a week of contact, in public places (not hidden out of the way places) to drastically reduce the number of guys who were only looking for affairs/diversions. I also did NOT take down my profile or stop accepting dates until the “we’re exclusive” talk. I had so many guys contacting me that this helped me not get too attached before I could get to know who he really was.
In the 4 months before I started dating my husband exclusively, I went on 40+ dates and had a blast! One week was 4 guys! That was TOO much! Most of the guys were nice guys who really wanted to get married. We just weren’t compatible long term. Only one was a jerk. And one I was a jerk to without realizing it til it was too late. Most are still facebook friends and many have gotten married since.
I think the way my profile was written the 2nd time around really filtered out the riff-raff along with my “I’m not in a rush to get married, let’s just have fun and see where this goes” attitude, and a disinclination to get intimate before commitment.
I’m writing all that to give you hope. When I joined this board, I think most people here figured I’d be the LAST person to ever actually find a compatible mate (after all, the less “normal” you are, the harder it is to find someone who is a great partner) but I want to encourage you that it can be done!
Blessings,
JJ
That's exactly what my mentality was when I met my husband. Like was over it. Everything I had been doing wasn't working and everything I thought I wanted, I obviously didn't. I started to give others a chance I normally wouldn't whether it be looks, career, interests, etc. I was a little unsure of my now husband but I was having fun!! And that had been awhile. So I went with it. I took my time, I dated other people until the exclusive talk, and I made him be on my time / when I was ready. Worked for me!! Fell hook line and sinker.
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Curious why there are so many married people in the Single Peeps group??0
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Curious why there are so many married people in the Single Peeps group??
I've been on MFP and a part of this group for a few years now. I think 4 or 5 years. It was a pretty active group back then. Few of the old regulars from years ago, though were single back then, have found someone and are now in relationship, engaged and even married! They pop in every now and then to catch up and give updates. I myself am not single anymore and in a relationship with someone from my old high school. A while back when I was single, I volunteered to stay on as a forum moderator to help keep the group around on MFP when the original creator didn't have time to and was going to close the group.0 -
Curious why there are so many married people in the Single Peeps group??
I've been on MFP and a part of this group for a few years now. I think 4 or 5 years. It was a pretty active group back then. Few of the old regulars from years ago, though were single back then, have found someone and are now in relationship, engaged and even married! They pop in every now and then to catch up and give updates. I myself am not single anymore and in a relationship with someone from my old high school. A while back when I was single, I volunteered to stay on as a forum moderator to help keep the group around on MFP when the original creator didn't have time to and was going to close the group.
Congrats!!!
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Curious why there are so many married people in the Single Peeps group??
I've been on MFP and a part of this group for a few years now. I think 4 or 5 years. It was a pretty active group back then. Few of the old regulars from years ago, though were single back then, have found someone and are now in relationship, engaged and even married! They pop in every now and then to catch up and give updates. I myself am not single anymore and in a relationship with someone from my old high school. A while back when I was single, I volunteered to stay on as a forum moderator to help keep the group around on MFP when the original creator didn't have time to and was going to close the group.
Congrats!!!
Thanks!0 -
I hate it when the picture that looks the LEAST like me in real life gets the MOST amount of positive attention.0
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I'm trying online dating now and I find that I can send out 15 messages and maybe get one returned.We'll talk for a couple of days,even talk on the phone then........................nothing.Sheesh,really... you can't put out the energy to say you aren't interested...wow!0
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