Making changes that are sustainable

alphabetsoup2013

When I started losing weight in January 2013, I made a promise to myself: I would only make changes that were changes I could sustain over the long-term. Otherwise, what was the point? I would simply be setting myself up for failure again.

This was my thinking:

• Sure, I could exercise for three hours every night, trying to burn a ton of calories, but would I be willing to keep up that kind of commitment over the long-term? Absolutely not!
• Sure, I could cut my caloric intake way down so that the weight would come off more quickly, but would that be sustainable? Absolutely not! I had enough experience with weight loss to know that if I deprived myself too severely, my body would respond by triggering an urge to binge.

So I committed to a reasonable exercise plan. I started out walking around the block, because that was all I could manage. I gradually built up to 10,000 steps/day (about an hour of walking at a brisk pace). And I committed to cutting back my calories to 1200 net calories per day. (Total calories consumed less calories burned via exercise = net calories.) Sometimes I would bump that up for a while to give myself more calories to play with.

A little over two years later, I have transitioned into maintenance (which has meant eating approximately 1500 net calories per day). I feel confident that I will be able to keep the weight off this time (for the first time ever!) if I

1. keep exercising daily (because that is so key to my overall well-being: everything from managing my anxiety/depression to helping me to sleep well)
2. keep a food diary on an ongoing basis (because that is the only thing that has ever worked for me in balancing my food intake with my exercise output).

So if I can offer you one piece of advice (as someone who has been working away at this thing for a while), it would be this: try to make lifestyle changes that are sustainable -- that you can live with over the long-term. And treat the weight loss phase as training for maintenance and the rest of your life.

Hope this is helpful.

Ann, age 51, 5'6"
Starting Weight: 286.6 (January 2013) -- Goal Weight: 154.6 (achieved January 2015)
132 lbs. lost

BRaye325

Great post, thanks for sharing this. I have a tendency to get impatient and want my weight to just be constantly dropping. When I was heavier, it came off easier. I know think I will need to adjust gradually as I approach my goal weight and then the transition to maintenance also will only be small change. It took me a long time to get that overweight. It won't change back overnight.

SusieBe9

alphabetsoup2013 wrote: »

When I started losing weight in January 2013, I made a promise to myself: I would only make changes that were changes I could sustain over the long-term. Otherwise, what was the point? I would simply be setting myself up for failure again.

This was my thinking:

• Sure, I could exercise for three hours every night, trying to burn a ton of calories, but would I be willing to keep up that kind of commitment over the long-term? Absolutely not!
• Sure, I could cut my caloric intake way down so that the weight would come off more quickly, but would that be sustainable? Absolutely not! I had enough experience with weight loss to know that if I deprived myself too severely, my body would respond by triggering an urge to binge.

So I committed to a reasonable exercise plan. I started out walking around the block, because that was all I could manage. I gradually built up to 10,000 steps/day (about an hour of walking at a brisk pace). And I committed to cutting back my calories to 1200 net calories per day. (Total calories consumed less calories burned via exercise = net calories.) Sometimes I would bump that up for a while to give myself more calories to play with.

A little over two years later, I have transitioned into maintenance (which has meant eating approximately 1500 net calories per day). I feel confident that I will be able to keep the weight off this time (for the first time ever!) if I

1. keep exercising daily (because that is so key to my overall well-being: everything from managing my anxiety/depression to helping me to sleep well)
2. keep a food diary on an ongoing basis (because that is the only thing that has ever worked for me in balancing my food intake with my exercise output).

So if I can offer you one piece of advice (as someone who has been working away at this thing for a while), it would be this: try to make lifestyle changes that are sustainable -- that you can live with over the long-term. And treat the weight loss phase as training for maintenance and the rest of your life.

Hope this is helpful.

Ann, age 51, 5'6"
Starting Weight: 286.6 (January 2013) -- Goal Weight: 154.6 (achieved January 2015)
132 lbs. lost

What a great accomplishment! Congrats! The goals you set are the very same goals I have set. 10,000 + steps and 1200 calories per day. So far it seems to be the perfect set of goals.

BBee5064

alphabetsoup2013 wrote: »

When I started losing weight in January 2013, I made a promise to myself: I would only make changes that were changes I could sustain over the long-term. Otherwise, what was the point? I would simply be setting myself up for failure again.

This was my thinking:

• Sure, I could exercise for three hours every night, trying to burn a ton of calories, but would I be willing to keep up that kind of commitment over the long-term? Absolutely not!
• Sure, I could cut my caloric intake way down so that the weight would come off more quickly, but would that be sustainable? Absolutely not! I had enough experience with weight loss to know that if I deprived myself too severely, my body would respond by triggering an urge to binge.

So I committed to a reasonable exercise plan. I started out walking around the block, because that was all I could manage. I gradually built up to 10,000 steps/day (about an hour of walking at a brisk pace). And I committed to cutting back my calories to 1200 net calories per day. (Total calories consumed less calories burned via exercise = net calories.) Sometimes I would bump that up for a while to give myself more calories to play with.

A little over two years later, I have transitioned into maintenance (which has meant eating approximately 1500 net calories per day). I feel confident that I will be able to keep the weight off this time (for the first time ever!) if I

1. keep exercising daily (because that is so key to my overall well-being: everything from managing my anxiety/depression to helping me to sleep well)
2. keep a food diary on an ongoing basis (because that is the only thing that has ever worked for me in balancing my food intake with my exercise output).

So if I can offer you one piece of advice (as someone who has been working away at this thing for a while), it would be this: try to make lifestyle changes that are sustainable -- that you can live with over the long-term. And treat the weight loss phase as training for maintenance and the rest of your life.

Hope this is helpful.

Ann, age 51, 5'6"
Starting Weight: 286.6 (January 2013) -- Goal Weight: 154.6 (achieved January 2015)
132 lbs. lost

Thank you so much for sharing this with us.. you have made me rethink how I go about losing weight. You are so right when you say.. try to make lifestyle changes that are sustainable... Excellent advise

alphabetsoup2013

Thanks for all the feedback, everyone. I really appreciate it. Have an amazing day -- and remember to be kind to yourself. That is key to this journey, too -- self-compassion. It's so easy to beat yourself up as opposed to treating yourself with the kindness you would extend to a friend who is struggling. Be that kind of friend to yourself.

lynnstacey2

Great suggestions! You are an inspiration for sure! One thing I got rid of this time was that "either or" thinking that I almost always have had when dieting, you know that I was either dieting or I was not and one slip in the morning meant eat whatever I wanted for the rest of the day which then generally turned into a week! Now I have a range of calorie goals depending on the situation such as I usually try to stay between 1200 and 1300 per day, but if I go out to eat or want a high calorie dessert, I'll go up to 1500 and not worry about it too much. But I try really really hard not to ever go over what would be my maintenance goal. This kind of thinking really helped me during the holidays particularly when it could have been a perfect excuse for me to completely blow my calorie limits and then just keep on blowing them because I felt in my own mind that I had already messed up.

nikkib0103

Congratulations! You did so well. I have approached this attempt with much the same attitude as you. I wasn't going to starve myself or workout like I'm on the Biggest Loser. Some days I work out more than others but I'm not getting carried away either. I have learned to not beat myself up, too, when it hasn't been a 'perfect' day. You certainly are an inspiration and I hope to learn from your example.

alphabetsoup2013

lynnstacey2 wrote: »

One thing I got rid of this time was that "either or" thinking that I almost always have had when dieting, you know that I was either dieting or I was not and one slip in the morning meant eat whatever I wanted for the rest of the day which then generally turned into a week!

Hey, I hear you! I've lost entire decades of healthy living to that kind of thinking. ;-)

alphabetsoup2013

nikkib0103 wrote: »

I wasn't going to starve myself or workout like I'm on the Biggest Loser.

Agreed! Can you imagine? Weight loss would have to become the focus of your entire life. It would be your full-time job. That doesn't have any appeal to me at all....

jeansuza

Well written, Ann! Thanks for sharing.

marekdds

I agree whole-heartedly Ann. I will never be a gym rat. Wasn't going to spend hours and hours working out. That would have lasted a long time, ha. Wasn't going to stop eating chocolate and other goodies, now I just enjoy them in smaller portions. I have been at goal for three years. I still have"bad" days. I don't beat myself up over it. It's over, move on. Now it is mostly good days and I am happy with that. I love being a size 4/6 and sharing clothes with my fit daughters. It has been a blast buying new clothes, so much better than eating myself into a coma. The most exciting (and the hardest) has been maintaining. Never done that before. Been a lifelong yo-yo, not anymore. If I can do it, anyone can.

NikonPal

Great job Anne -- it's amazing what just walking can do as an exercise. It's all about what you will do on a regular basis...while losing and afterwards. Congrats!

CrazyMermaid1

In my teen years I would lose (and gain) 10 lb in two weeks. Those days are long gone (I'm 55) and my new reality is that I have to work hard to lose a pound.

PaytraB

Nice post, Ann. One thing I tried to keep in the forefront of my mind while losing was to make this a sustainable journey. It was hard at first to find that balance of good eating, healthy eating, junk eating, exercise and general healthy lifestyle. But it can be done. Slow and steady is the key.
A co-worker of mine recently said "be kind to yourself" and that really stuck with me. I hadn't heard that saying before and do have a tendency to beat myself up. I'm trying hard to remember and live this saying.

alphabetsoup2013

PaytraB wrote: »

A co-worker of mine recently said "be kind to yourself" and that really stuck with me. I hadn't heard that saying before and do have a tendency to beat myself up. I'm trying hard to remember and live this saying.

I read an amazing book on this subject last year: Self-Compassion by Kristen Neff. It's a great book and really helped me to shift the voice in my head from self-critical to self-compassionate.

PaytraB

Thanks! I'll see if the library has a copy. One can never be too nice to oneself. We (or, at least, I) can spend a lot of time attacking ourselves for tiny little things.

lovesretirement

@alphabetsoup2013 ..thanks for sharing. Had you struggled with weight all of your life?

alphabetsoup2013

Hi @lovesretirement -- Yes, since I was in elementary school. I was an overweight kid/teen, a chubby bride (175 lbs.), and an obese adult.

jlcase0000

These are great comments and really strike home with me. I lost 50 pounds during my divorce 15 years ago, and I remember telling a friend nothing tastes as good as tucking in my shirt! I kept it off for a long time but the past couple of years, the weight has crept up on me and now I need to lose about 25 pounds but it's a different ball game now that I'm 52. I'm my own worst critic and I need to work on that. Thanks for all the good advice!

BRaye325

Thanks again for being so open about what you are doing. Would you mind sharing some more details on what maintenance is like? How many calories more do you get than when you were losing? Do you gain some and then lose again or do you stay pretty consistent? Have you changed your exercise schedule at all?

Brinasacat

Super job and I agree wholeheartedly. I refuse to give up fullfat dairy so I'm not! I need to work on my journaling, the good bad and the ugly.

marekdds

Maintenance is constant vigilance for me. I exercise less than when I was losing, but I still exercise 4 x a week for about 45 min. I have learned that exercise is not optional, but a requirement for me. I still love to eat so I need the calories. I am a small-framed 5'6", almost 63 y.o. My bmr is 1250, w/o exercise my calorie goal is about 1650. I try to get enough exercise to get me another 2-400. I have completely changed how I think about food and how I eat. In the past, I skipped breakfast, fast food lunch, and ate everything in sight for dinner and afterwords. Now, I graze all day long. More plant food than animal, but I eat anything and everything I desire, just not massive amounts. I love to cook and I love goodies and chocolate. I have just learned to be reasonable with them. Food is fuel and I don't use it as a reward anymore, but I do enjoy it. I have maintained at 132 for about three years, with the normal fluctuations of the human body 3-5 lbs. I have a self-imposed upper limit and if I reach it, I go into "lose" mode until it s gone. If I can do it anyone can. This is just what works for me, we all have to find our own path.

iamfashiontribes

@marekdds dang that's no mean fear maintaining your loss like that. You seriously rock!

marekdds

Thank you so much @iamfashiontribes. It helps to have people's support, even at this stage of the game.

BRaye325

marekdds wrote: »

Maintenance is constant vigilance for me.

Yes, that is exactly what I needed to hear. I have yo-yo dieted for years and I am truly worried about achieving my final goal and then losing focus and going right back to my old habits. No one can change that for me, it's entirely a mental thing. What you described is also what I am planning to do when I get there. Thanks so much for sharing!

marekdds

@BRaye325 you are right. Many of us have yo-yo-ed for years. I changed that paradigm, when I changed my mental attitude. We are not punishing ourselves by "dieting". We are getting healthy by eating proper nutrition. We are not "getting our money's worth" pigging out at a buffet. We are taking care of our bodies by stopping when we are nourished. We are worth more than the money. The hardest element of this journey is the mental challenges.

lynnstacey2

I too worry that I'll lose focus once I'm "there" with the weight loss. I have also yo yo dieted all of my life. BIG swings of 80 or more pounds off and then I get lazy and the weight slowly and sometimes not so slowly creeps back on. I'm hoping the real difference in what and how I'm cooking now is going to make the difference, along with constant tracking and the weight is not going to start coming back this time. It's wonderful to hear from people who have managed to keep it off for so long, you know you really are in the minority but I want to be one of you someday.

NikonPal

I mentally started my “maintenance” once I got past the first few months and knew I was committed to permanent weight-loss. Like others – I yo-yo’d and tried every imaginable “diet.” My short successes were always met with a re-gain and I watched 80-90% of overweight friends and family duplicate that pattern. All because of a return to old habits that really were only given up temporarily because it was a "diet."

I am now in “real” maintenance and have not let up. I am still adjusting calories, exercise and goals. I figure it will take all of 2015 to fine-tune things. I will never stop my rules re: meal preparation with regards to presentation and content. Gone forever are the days of eating an entire pizza. I am committed to a new lifestyle.

Unless physically unable, I walk daily etc. My wife will sometimes say “can’t you skip 1 day?” and I reply – not at this stage. I’m not obsessive to point that I wouldn’t skip a day because of an event commitment etc.

All of this is why I plan to stick with MFP for the long term! It serves as a constant reminder of where I came from - where I ended up -- and where I could end up again, if not always vigilant.

nikkib0103

NikonPal wrote: »

I mentally started my “maintenance” once I got past the first few months and knew I was committed to permanent weight-loss. Like others – I yo-yo’d and tried every imaginable “diet.” My short successes were always met with a re-gain and I watched 80-90% of overweight friends and family duplicate that pattern. All because of a return to old habits that really were only given up temporarily because it was a "diet."

I am now in “real” maintenance and have not let up. I am still adjusting calories, exercise and goals. I figure it will take all of 2015 to fine-tune things. I will never stop my rules re: meal preparation with regards to presentation and content. Gone forever are the days of eating an entire pizza. I am committed to a new lifestyle.

Unless physically unable, I walk daily etc. My wife will sometimes say “can’t you skip 1 day?” and I reply – not at this stage. I’m not obsessive to point that I wouldn’t skip a day because of an event commitment etc.

All of this is why I plan to stick with MFP for the long term! It serves as a constant reminder of where I came from - where I ended up -- and where I could end up again, if not always vigilant.

You are an example to all of us. Diligence without blind obsession, working your plan and putting one foot in front of the other. What I take away from your journey is that you accepted it would be hard work along the way and long term. Not something you would do for a year and then quit. That is what has tripped me up in the past... I would do okay at the loss part. But maintaining would be heck because I would eventually take up my bad habits again. I have made up my mind that I am going to choose to get a handle on these new habits and understand that they are the only way forward. You tell a compelling story in an honest and forthright manner. You might consider becoming a motivational speaker or wiriter. I think many people could benefit from your experience.

BRaye325

NikonPal wrote: »

My wife will sometimes say “can’t you skip 1 day?” and I reply – not at this stage.

How difficult has this process been on your relationship? Keeping on the same path and moving along it together is so important. My wife has also lost a lot since we started. However, we have somewhat different approaches, which is fine, but I see things starting to get farther apart for us. I am very focused and committed to making this a life long change. I want her to find her own way. I can be obsessive and competitive which I know had a negative affect on her when we 'dieted' and yo-yo'd in the past. So this time, I'm trying really hard to just be supportive and encouraging.

nikkib0103

BRaye325 wrote: »

NikonPal wrote: »

My wife will sometimes say “can’t you skip 1 day?” and I reply – not at this stage.

How difficult has this process been on your relationship? Keeping on the same path and moving along it together is so important. My wife has also lost a lot since we started. However, we have somewhat different approaches, which is fine, but I see things starting to get farther apart for us. I am very focused and committed to making this a life long change. I want her to find her own way. I can be obsessive and competitive which I know had a negative affect on her when we 'dieted' and yo-yo'd in the past. So this time, I'm trying really hard to just be supportive and encouraging.

I think it's the best way to go... do your thing and let your spouse do theirs. My boyfriend is extremely supportive. He is one of those annoying people who can lose weight if he walks an extra block. But he has tried helping me and, happily, has learned to back off when I get irritated with him. He is learning to let me go my own way while still being supportive. It is not easy for him to not offer advice and opinions on every last thing. In a weird way this has improved our communication.