How Do I Stop Cheating?

Twibbly
Twibbly Posts: 1,065 Member
edited November 13 in Social Groups
I posted that I was having problems with eating carbs, and AnarchoGen was kind enough to send this to me and give me permission to post it here for all of you lovely people, because I can't be the only one who needs to hear this. Everything below the line is what I was sent.

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Subject: Note: How Do I Stop Cheating??

(This note was created by a dear friend of mine, who lost 200lbs on LCHF. She cured her diabetes, high blood pressure and PCOS through LCHF. She wrote this to others who are also on a LCHF diet)

How Do I Stop Cheating??

I was just asked this. Because I think she was worthy of the time it took to reply, I answered her, in the best detail I can. And I'm sharing my answer here, nearly verbatim.



Human beings are not simple animals, who merely respond to motivations such as hunger, thirst, reproductive drives, self-preservation, etc. We live in society, with other human beings, and no matter how non-conformist we think we are, we are influenced by them, and we are highly emotional, not to mention spiritual, at our essence.


The physical addiction, where the body goes through actual withdrawal and detox only really takes about 3-10 days. By that time, you are transitioned over to ketosis, a fat-burning metabolism. Your blood sugar begins lowering, the actual hunger goes away. In a physiological sense, this diet is incredibly easy. No hunger, delicious food, and gives your body its REAL optimal fuel. Easy.


The body is also miraculous at healing itself. When you give it the fuel it needs to repair AND remove all the toxins that were damaging it, it can do phenomenal things. Even, in my case, reversing diabetes and, over time, my body, on the rare occasions I've had higher carb fruits or "products" that should worsen my sugar, has gone to a lower maximum blood sugar level, and drops to normal much faster, so I know that my body is actually healing. Even three years later, I'm seeing radical improvement. That takes time, and one of the frustrating things is that, sometimes, when losing weight, the body actually "stalls" so it can rest, repair, regenerate, focus on something other than fat burning. I will NOT lie and tell you that this is a FAST way for everyone to lose weight. But it will leave you full, eating great food and repairing the underlying metabolic processes that were damaged, as well as giving you a LOT of energy. Very few (or no!) other diets can make that claim. Most of them deny you critical fats, which play an amazing role in feeling good by allowing you to actually metabolize and utilize the fat-soluble vitamins. Many people have gotten fat, and eaten constantly, while experiencing nutritional starvation. So, there ARE faster ways to do it. But they won't last. And they won't make you feel good.


But, what REALLY trips people up is in what actually makes us human. Humanity is actually a serious weakness. With that, we have a great many emotions, spiritual elements, connections to other people. We eat when we are happy or sad, frightened or anxious, celebrating or mourning, bored or active. We essentially learn to treat food as a comforter, a friend, an emotional outlet. We are taught, sadly, at a young age, that food is not just fuel, but a centerpiece of life.


And, that's the ONLY part of this diet that is really hard, that actually requires work...changing the perspective. This takes time. Actually,it gets easier in time, but it really probably takes forever. Even I still struggle with it sometimes.


Some things you need to realize and some tips.


1. Food is fuel. If you are emotional or bored, get a hobby or a friend or a lover or a pet. But, no matter how much you eat, the missing link to comfort your heart or keep you busy will never be filled by food. Food determines nothing more than whether your body runs at its optimal levels. As I say often, if hunger is not the problem, FOOD IS NOT THE SOLUTION.


2. You are worthy of good things in your life. You deserve to be happy. You are not a dog and shouldn't reward yourself with treats. If you want a reward, go buy new clothes, soak in a warm bubble bath, take a day to do something fun that doesn't involve food. You deserve better than a cheap, simple, VERY momentary pleasure.


3. You have to love yourself. This is hard. I spent an entire lifetime fat, being rejected by people I wanted, often directly because of my weight. And you have to at least, even if you don't love yourself and think you are wonderful, start off believing you deserve no punishment. Things like obesity and diabetes are TORTURE. They are. They make it difficult to shop for clothes, to feel good about yourself, to enjoy most activities, to even walk, when it gets really bad. Diabetes is painful. Nerve damage starts off as sharp, shooting pains. You get infections. You are constantly sick. I won't go into all the gory details, but it is absolute torture. You have to at LEAST realize that no food is worth that agony. Diabetes is not JUST death. It is blindness, dialysis, constant pain, loss of limbs, and early death to a heart attack. Death is the EASY part of diabetes. It's the years of suffering that are truly cruel.


4. You have to motivate yourself. Every day. Renew your motivation. I have two albums, over 2000 things to make you laugh, learn and think. Go through them, print the ones that touch your heart and resonate with your soul. I post these because, almost everything I post is exactly what someone needed to hear that day.

(she posts fitness and diet inspirational photos to motivate others)

This is not a one time deal. Food is fuel for the body. Motivation is fuel for the spirit. You need to read or do something motivational EVERY SINGLE DAY.


5. Do not give yourself the option to fail. As soon as you are out of a size of clothing, buy a few new things and get rid of the others. That is NOT an option for you any longer.


6. Focus on the things you CAN enjoy. I saved over 3000 recipes, not because ANYONE will ever make all of those. But, to prove to you that there is almost NOTHING we can't enjoy on this diet. We are blessed to have a diet that allows us steak, bacon and cheese! And we can lose weight and get healthy eating that. This is a blessing. It truly is.


7. Stop restarting. Just keep going. We have this mindset that, if we *kitten* up, we will just restart tomorrow. Stop that right now! Do not EVER restart. Just keep going. Not tomorrow, not in an hour...with the next bite of food. Because, honestly, it makes us feel like a failure, and that isn't fair. "I have to restart again, because I suck and keep screwing up." You have not failed until you give up. Do not give up on this week, this day, this hour. Just make sure the next thing in your mouth is good fuel and keep going. You didn't fail, you just didn't make the best choice, but you WILL be strong enough to make the next choice you make your best. Don't force yourself into failure for an entire *kitten* day! That's emotional and mental cruelty.


8. Be mindful of your motivation for eating. We never go hungry on this diet. As soon as the tummy rumbles a bit, we either eat or make plans to do so soon, then we eat plenty of fat, which is our fuel. Hunger is not an emergency because our blood sugar is stable. It's merely a notification that we need food soon. If it is 9 am, and you aren't hungry, it's fine to go to lunch with no food. If it's 3 PM and dinner is in two hours, it is fine to wait until then. We are not going to starve or lose our minds if we wait to fuel for a bit. We don't eat by a clock. If it's noon and you aren't hungry, you do NOT have to eat. You can wait until later. We eat when hungry, until full, then we stop. This is sane and simple and logical, not something we humans are taught in regards to food. It's fine to eat twice a day. As a species, we wouldn't be here today if eating every three hours was a requirement. Our ancestors often went 1-3 days, but they weren't on a blood sugar rollercoaster, either.


9. Always be prepared with handy snacks no matter where you are. No excuses. If you are at a gathering and low carb food is not available, you won't starve if you skip it. And you have an obligation to your body to not fuel it with *kitten*. Not to your aunt Glenda to eat "just one bite" of her pie.



This is permanent, not a temporary quick fix. It isn't even quick. It's magical in what it can accomplish, but not in the time it takes. It DOES take time. I'm still healing 3 years later. But it is NON-NEGOTIABLE. I may eat a LCHF food that wasn't my best choice, but I do NOT eat anything that is not low carb. Why? It's just not an option. I am not fooling myself. I can run into a gas station and grab nuts, jerky, pork rinds, a cheese stick, etc, just as easily as I can grab potato chips or candy and I deserve better than the way those would make me feel. So do you. You are beautiful, wonderful and deserving of your best life, but you can also create a life that feels like hell. I hope you will think about all this because I can't make you love yourself or those who need you to be around and healthy for them. Only you can decide that you, and they, are important.


I also suggest that, while this isn't specific to low carb, you consider what he has to say:
http://coachtaylorsimon.ca/uncategorized/the-brutally-honest-6-reasons-you-are-still-overfat/

**EDITED by mod**
Fixed the link as it was broken. :wink:
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Replies

  • Twibbly
    Twibbly Posts: 1,065 Member
    I need to read this at least twice a day.

    There is definitely an emotional component in my eating carbs, as it normally happens when I'm frustrated and tired and flat out don't want to mess with cooking.
  • tq33702
    tq33702 Posts: 121 Member
    Twibbly wrote: »
    If hunger is not the problem, FOOD IS NOT THE SOLUTION.
    ^^^ :) ^^^
    And when Hunger is the problem,
    LC and Keto can be the solution...yes?
  • Sugarbeat
    Sugarbeat Posts: 824 Member
    Wow, this is very moving and spot on. This should be a sticky. They all hit close to home, but number 3 the most. I had a relative die slowly and painfully from diabetes but not before she had to give up every single thing that gave her quality of life. Her mother had to remove her from life support. Its not to be trifled with and yet I myself have not, until recently, taken it as seriously as I should.
  • gsp90x
    gsp90x Posts: 416 Member
    Huh. Very interesting. Good points.
    Thanks for posting.
  • KarlaYP
    KarlaYP Posts: 4,436 Member
    I love this! So sad that people think they can eat whatever they want since they are on diabetes medicine (my parents are included in this way of thinking!). Since the Metformin brings down blood sugar, I can eat this bag of potato chips, half gallon of ice cream, box of doughnuts....! What a TERRIBLE way of thinking! Why can't people educate themselves with truth?!

    Thank you for posting!
  • Kitnthecat
    Kitnthecat Posts: 2,076 Member
    Wow ! This made my day, thanks for posting this. I like the part about the body " stalling" weight loss in order to work on repairing itself. What a great way to look at it, rather than allowing yourself to feel down about not losing weight as rapidly as you'd hoped.

    This whole essay is so powerful and motivating. Wonderful !
  • Dragonwolf
    Dragonwolf Posts: 5,600 Member
    Sugarbeat wrote: »
    This should be a sticky.

    I agree. Added to the Launch Pad (currently under "open threads of interest").
  • Dragonwolf
    Dragonwolf Posts: 5,600 Member
    Karlottap wrote: »
    I love this! So sad that people think they can eat whatever they want since they are on diabetes medicine (my parents are included in this way of thinking!). Since the Metformin brings down blood sugar, I can eat this bag of potato chips, half gallon of ice cream, box of doughnuts....! What a TERRIBLE way of thinking! Why can't people educate themselves with truth?!

    Thank you for posting!

    Hah, eat refined carbs while on Metformin? Good luck with that. Unless, of course, you like making the toilet your office chair...

    Of course, I don't doubt some people do that, then wonder why they have GI issues. Or they end up thinking they're "intolerant" to the Metformin. :eyeroll:
  • KnitOrMiss
    KnitOrMiss Posts: 10,103 Member
    Karlottap wrote: »
    I love this! So sad that people think they can eat whatever they want since they are on diabetes medicine (my parents are included in this way of thinking!). Since the Metformin brings down blood sugar, I can eat this bag of potato chips, half gallon of ice cream, box of doughnuts....! What a TERRIBLE way of thinking! Why can't people educate themselves with truth?!

    Thank you for posting!

    The flip side of this is some diabetics who've lived the "ME! ME! ME!" life so long, they can't even fathom how this is possible - to repair themselves... Like my mother, and more recently, my aunt. They just don't see another way... I keep sending them things like this article and news on my progress...and waiting.

    Hugs,
    C
  • tiffanycherie
    tiffanycherie Posts: 97 Member
    Great post! A lot of good advice that I need to remind myself of everyday. Thanks for sharing
  • KarlaYP
    KarlaYP Posts: 4,436 Member
    They don't want to see another way. So hard to watch!
  • Sugarbeat
    Sugarbeat Posts: 824 Member
    A lot of my husband's side of the family just expect to need meds for something later in life. They don't do anything to change it and they end up carrying around shopping bags full of meds. I mentioned to my husband one day (nicely) that we both need to really take care of our diets better. His response was "I don't have diabetes, though, just high blood pressure." Face/palm smiley face. He's coming around, though.
  • Alliwan
    Alliwan Posts: 1,245 Member
    Sugarbeat wrote: »
    I mentioned to my husband one day (nicely) that we both need to really take care of our diets better. His response was "I don't have diabetes, though, just high blood pressure." Face/palm smiley face. He's coming around, though.

    LOL Hubby said the same exact thing to me! He's been on blood pressure meds since he was 18 even tho he wasnt overweight so I know some of that might be genetic but now he's overweight too with an enlarged heart. His mom is diabetic and because of the way health care was in the US for the last half decade, couldnt get insurance to help control her diabetes and she's now in danger of losing her right foot and the neuropathy has gone into her hands as well.

    My MIL however still believes in all the soup/fad diets and cant understand why she cant get her blood sugar under control at all even with meds. She has to be more careful tho as she is 100% insulin dependent; her pancreas stopped producing anything the doctors told her.

    So I calmly explained to my husband that maybe we should try to get ahead of the curve by being healthy BEFORE we get to the point where we are in danger of losing a limb. He took a couple days for that to sink in and then decided to jump on the Keto bandwagon also. Patience padawan is my motto. It takes time and the ability to see real life results for some.
  • AnarchoGen
    AnarchoGen Posts: 400 Member
    Glad it has been shared! I think this should be a sticky as well, I've struggled with being low carb for a year & when my friend wrote that note, it changed me in the most positive way.
  • AnarchoGen
    AnarchoGen Posts: 400 Member
    tq33702 wrote: »
    Twibbly wrote: »
    If hunger is not the problem, FOOD IS NOT THE SOLUTION.
    ^^^ :) ^^^
    And when Hunger is the problem,
    LC and Keto can be the solution...yes?

    ABSOLUTELY! All of my cravings are gone since being in ketosis!

  • Sugarbeat
    Sugarbeat Posts: 824 Member
    Alliwan wrote: »
    Sugarbeat wrote: »
    I mentioned to my husband one day (nicely) that we both need to really take care of our diets better. His response was "I don't have diabetes, though, just high blood pressure." Face/palm smiley face. He's coming around, though.

    LOL Hubby said the same exact thing to me! He's been on blood pressure meds since he was 18 even tho he wasnt overweight so I know some of that might be genetic but now he's overweight too with an enlarged heart. His mom is diabetic and because of the way health care was in the US for the last half decade, couldnt get insurance to help control her diabetes and she's now in danger of losing her right foot and the neuropathy has gone into her hands as well.

    My MIL however still believes in all the soup/fad diets and cant understand why she cant get her blood sugar under control at all even with meds. She has to be more careful tho as she is 100% insulin dependent; her pancreas stopped producing anything the doctors told her.

    So I calmly explained to my husband that maybe we should try to get ahead of the curve by being healthy BEFORE we get to the point where we are in danger of losing a limb. He took a couple days for that to sink in and then decided to jump on the Keto bandwagon also. Patience padawan is my motto. It takes time and the ability to see real life results for some.

    Glad your husband is coming around! Heart disease is rampant in my husbands family, if you make it past 65 you're really doing something. High blood pressure scares me but he just thinks its normal. I don't think he will go LC but he is noticing that he feels better when eating certain foods and they TASTE better. He's also naturally eating fewer carbs because we just aren't cooking as many. He made meat loaf last night with just meat, egg, and ketchup. No bread crumbs or rice mixed in as would have been done in the past.
  • spush
    spush Posts: 132 Member
    An amazing post, I have tended to treat my diabetes very casually, not focusing on complications. But this is me and my life, I am worth more than a sneaky nibble of something carb laden and bad for me.
  • GSD_Mama
    GSD_Mama Posts: 629 Member
    Beautiful and inspiring, thank you for sharing and yes to make it a sticky!
  • IamUndrCnstruction
    IamUndrCnstruction Posts: 691 Member
    Wonderful post. The blog that was linked was even better, for me anyway. I can be a bit "overly honest" and he cracked me up. He was right. Every. Single. Thing. If he didn't curse so much (which I don't mind, but I know some do) I would link that blog every-freakin-where!
  • Sajyana
    Sajyana Posts: 518 Member
    When you boil it down and get to the nuts and bolts of it, life is a series of choices. That series of choices brings you to where you are today.

    Yes, there are emotional, spiritual, mental and physical elements to life but in that moment, when you are about to put something into your mouth, you can either decide to eat it or decide not to eat it.

    One moment at a time. One bite at a time. One choice at a time. <3
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    edited April 2015
    Sometimes, something being real hard can be a sign we're on the wrong path.
  • IamUndrCnstruction
    IamUndrCnstruction Posts: 691 Member
    I might have to disagree there. I go to the gym, three, sometimes four times a week, and work out at home all but one other day. It's hard. REALLY hard. I wheel my oxygen around the gym and do things my doctors told me I could never do. And it's HARD. I have cried. But I also feel better than I have in the three years since finding out I need a transplant. To say that because something is very hard means it's the wrong path, well, that, IMHO, sounds like the beginning of the end.
  • Sajyana
    Sajyana Posts: 518 Member
    I might have to disagree there. I go to the gym, three, sometimes four times a week, and work out at home all but one other day. It's hard. REALLY hard. I wheel my oxygen around the gym and do things my doctors told me I could never do. And it's HARD. I have cried. But I also feel better than I have in the three years since finding out I need a transplant. To say that because something is very hard means it's the wrong path, well, that, IMHO, sounds like the beginning of the end.

    I agree. There are many moments in life are difficult and many people don't like change. Just because something is challenging doesn't mean it's not the right course of action.

    I watched my Mum take 18 years to leave an abusive relationship with two teenage daughters in tow. It was hard! We had no money and nowhere to go but it was absolutely the right thing to do. B)

  • GaleHawkins
    GaleHawkins Posts: 8,159 Member
    Twibbly thanks for posting your reply to another.
  • Twibbly
    Twibbly Posts: 1,065 Member
    Twibbly thanks for posting your reply to another.

    I am not the author. One of AnarchoGen's friends is.
  • KnitOrMiss
    KnitOrMiss Posts: 10,103 Member
    Sugarbeat wrote: »
    Alliwan wrote: »
    Sugarbeat wrote: »
    I mentioned to my husband one day (nicely) that we both need to really take care of our diets better. His response was "I don't have diabetes, though, just high blood pressure." Face/palm smiley face. He's coming around, though.

    LOL Hubby said the same exact thing to me! He's been on blood pressure meds since he was 18 even tho he wasnt overweight so I know some of that might be genetic but now he's overweight too with an enlarged heart. His mom is diabetic and because of the way health care was in the US for the last half decade, couldnt get insurance to help control her diabetes and she's now in danger of losing her right foot and the neuropathy has gone into her hands as well.

    My MIL however still believes in all the soup/fad diets and cant understand why she cant get her blood sugar under control at all even with meds. She has to be more careful tho as she is 100% insulin dependent; her pancreas stopped producing anything the doctors told her.

    So I calmly explained to my husband that maybe we should try to get ahead of the curve by being healthy BEFORE we get to the point where we are in danger of losing a limb. He took a couple days for that to sink in and then decided to jump on the Keto bandwagon also. Patience padawan is my motto. It takes time and the ability to see real life results for some.

    Glad your husband is coming around! Heart disease is rampant in my husbands family, if you make it past 65 you're really doing something. High blood pressure scares me but he just thinks its normal. I don't think he will go LC but he is noticing that he feels better when eating certain foods and they TASTE better. He's also naturally eating fewer carbs because we just aren't cooking as many. He made meat loaf last night with just meat, egg, and ketchup. No bread crumbs or rice mixed in as would have been done in the past.

    My fiance is losing weight since I've been cooking low carb, high fat, etc. It's annoying because he still has potatoes and beans and tortillas and bread and PEPSI... LOL But, if I can get him LOWER carb, I'm happy, because he does have family proof of blood sugar, blood pressure, and heart issues... I keep waiting and praying that something carby makes him feel really bad so he'll finally see the light... I know that is the type of thing it will take...
  • kirkor
    kirkor Posts: 2,530 Member
    KnitOrMiss wrote: »
    I keep waiting and praying that something carby makes him feel really bad so he'll finally see the light... I know that is the type of thing it will take...

    Would Alzheimer's do it?
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2367001/
  • KnitOrMiss
    KnitOrMiss Posts: 10,103 Member
    kirkor wrote: »
    KnitOrMiss wrote: »
    I keep waiting and praying that something carby makes him feel really bad so he'll finally see the light... I know that is the type of thing it will take...

    Would Alzheimer's do it?
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2367001/

    Absolutely, but I know him well enough to know that no research or study will change his mind. It will have to be something he really FEELS in a way that he can't logic or reason away.

    And sadly, that condition runs in his family, probably a lot for the same reason. He is borderline hypoglycemic who believes he can "regulate" through regular sugar infusions, and believe me no logic helps there either. He's the type who lets determination overrule common sense (military type, for anyone who knows what I mean - "If I don't admit it, it didn't happen," etc.), and takes pride in the fact that he can dictate terms to his body, so to speak.

    He hasn't realized that even with the stupid amounts of sugar he still dumps in his body that he's losing fat and gaining health, and he has far fewer blood sugar lows unless his stubbornness doesn't let him take time to eat (that is a whole separate issue...lol). It will take a while to acknowledge this though.

    I've known him long enough (25 years, been together for 3) to know that the more I try to convince him in any way, the less he'll "buy" it and the more he'll fight it. So the best way I know is to make him better food, nourish him healthfully, and I know the bad stuff will gradually become less appealing. It already has quite a bit without him realizing it. He is a creature of habit. I just have to let nature gradually change those habits for him...
  • Sugarbeat
    Sugarbeat Posts: 824 Member
    The mindset has to change first, and sometimes that can be an uphill battle. Unfortunately there is nothing to be done outside of a good example and gentle encouragement, especially if someone has accepted the inevitability of disease. I did see a little improvement in one of his relatives (T2D, thyroid, high blood pressure, takes a grocery store bag of pills) who listened to me talk about low carb on Sunday and seemed interested. Really interested, not just politely so. I don't know if she'll jump all the way in but she is starting to think and watch more, which is good.
  • KnitOrMiss
    KnitOrMiss Posts: 10,103 Member
    Sugarbeat wrote: »
    The mindset has to change first, and sometimes that can be an uphill battle. Unfortunately there is nothing to be done outside of a good example and gentle encouragement, especially if someone has accepted the inevitability of disease. I did see a little improvement in one of his relatives (T2D, thyroid, high blood pressure, takes a grocery store bag of pills) who listened to me talk about low carb on Sunday and seemed interested. Really interested, not just politely so. I don't know if she'll jump all the way in but she is starting to think and watch more, which is good.

    @Sugarbeat This is SOOOOOO true. That's why I just keep living by example. I equated my carb/sugar intolerance to his lactose intolerance (he's Native). That got through...for a little bit... He just keeps getting frustrated and such because I don't want to make eat total crap anymore.

    I can't stand being fat and unhealthy. So he has to understand that I have to restrict something! I just don't force that on him. The one thing that drives me bonkers is that he won't actually pay attention to restrictions outside of bread/sugar. He asked me incredulously why I couldn't have corn? Then berated me for never having cabbage again, and I asked him why the heck I couldn't eat cabbage? He just doesn't pay attention enough to "get" it and refuses to learn because it's "obviously a fad diet." So eating more authentically is a fad, right? Did y'all know that?

    I think his main thing is that he's been FORCED onto diets by various women in his life, and he can't understand that I'm not doing that, and all. Any limitations currently are mainly due to budgetary concerns - not my way of eating! SIGH
This discussion has been closed.