Pre-Op Indecision Good Days = No surgery
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JudiMoving2
Posts: 77 Member
With my recent weight loss, and the positive vibes I am feeling about eating healthy, I began to doubt my reasons for wanting the surgery. Seriously, I am eating better than I have in ages, and overall I have energy and feel good. So why should I go through this drastic measure to "mutilate" my body (as a friend had stated) to lose weight. My weight loss has been slow over the last 5-6 months pre-op, but I am loosing. I even heard someone call the receptionist at the Drs office, cancelling their appointments, and the gal restating "so you're not going to have the surgery, you're going to do this on your own?"
That last experience really had me thinking today, apparently my feelings of indecision are normal at this point. Others decide not to have to the surgery also. See maybe we can do this on our own. Right?
But wait.... I am not doing this on my own. I have been consulting with a Nutritionist monthly who is making me accountable and I am working toward a goal. This goal is to get a tool to assist me with my weight loss. As history always repeats itself in my Weight Loss World, I won't continue to work on my weight, this positive attitude I have today will only turn against me and give me a false confidence that I can eat that entire pizza, and that plate of noodles covered in buttery alfredo sauce.
I can't do this on my own, I need help, this surgery is the help and tool that I need to be successful. Will I be successful after surgery? I sure hope so, I certainly feel ready, and trained to not let myself fail this time.
(Thanks for listening to my brain on the morning commute. Thought I would put it out here in case anyone else is feeling this way.)
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My reason? Because the percentage of maintained weight loss is super low after doing a diet, compared to after WLS...0
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That's exactly why I went through with it, I lost 120 lbs five years prior and maintained! But I wanted and need to lose more, then lost another 30 that I lost and gained probably three times and couldn't drop any more...day of surgery I was still 249, I am now three weeks post op, I am going to weigh myself tomorrow (as of last week I was down 11 pounds) - I know this was the answer to help me get those last pounds off and get off the meds and get healthy finally! BTW...metformin and high blood pressure meds are already gone!0
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Have all your other attempts been successful. My guess is no. I have yo-yo'd my entire life. Losing and getting to goal then gaining again. With this surgery I am not going to do the regain, I can't go back to eating like I was. We aren't normal people. If I ate like other people I know who don't have a screwed up metabolism I would be huge. Do you need the surgery, it's up to you. My husband said the same thing, that if I could do it on my own why get the surgery. I told him I wasn't on my own. I need the tool to help me.0
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JudiMoving2 wrote: »@joysie1970: Congrats on loosing the meds! And yes, I look forward to that day as well.
Thanks! After 15+ years I was happy to kiss the pharma companies good bye! You will get there soon!0 -
I'm 2.5 months out from VSG and I feel like something is totally clear now that wasn't before. I had a chemical addiction to food and eating that needed medical intervention. I literally always thought I could stop overeating and lose weight for good anytime I wanted to, I just never did. (sounds like every kind of addict, right?) I still have the desire to eat a whole pan of mac n cheese even though a) I can't and b) it would feel terrible and I would never do it. Still, my brain wants to and it's hard to deal with that. But the surgery has cut my brain off from my stomach and the two aren't working together to get me to overeat crap. I could probably have overcome the stomach OR the brain, but not both together. Surgery has been a lot like divide and conquer. I know the war is long and in a year or two it will be even harder because hunger will return and such. So now I am free to work on my brain alone before having to face that again. But at least now I can face it from the high ground with a few wins behind me and an activity level that keeps me going strong.0
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@blairmundy: Very interesting. Your comment on your two insights of brain and stomach. HOW do we change our thinking? I had a small salad last night for dinner, but had also made some pork loin and fried cabbage for my other half. I originally planned to eat with him. However after eating the salad I was full. My brain said "you made food you must eat". But I did a second look and thought No. I don't need too.
Later I remembered looking at food when I was in my teens (I was very thin then) and not even wanting to try it or taste it. My diet was small scale, eating the same thing every day. I never even ate a tomato until I was in my twenties. Totally finicky eater. What did I learn over the last couple decades? Food is good, and I try everything, want everything, and then eat as much as I can.
So will eating after surgery be like the finicky eater I once was? Will I be starting over with small scale diet and retrying - retasting food? How will I handle the temptations, as you stated Your brain still wants this and it is difficult to deal with. But will it taste the same? Do we get the point that you forget to taste food when your overweight? We eat an entire pizza because we already know it is delicious and we delve right in.
Sorry to ramble but the "head" side of hunger, and cravings is something I am interested in understanding after surgery.0 -
Prior to surgery, I lost 10 lbs. Not that much really, but I had several people (family, friends & my other half) ask why I didn't just do this on my own and skip the surgery. My response was that yes, I can lose weight in the SHORT term, but I have never been able to maintain the loss long-term. Plus, when I gained the weight back, I added to it. The surgery, in conjunction with watching what & how much I eat, and exercising, will allow me to lose the weight and keep it off. Head hunger still exists. I have to remind myself that I'm not really hungry, it is just my eyes/head that think I need X (whatever the food may be at that point). Because really sweet foods aren't sitting so well for me, I don't really crave them as much as I used to. Only you can decide what is right for you, but I think your thinking is on the right track and in line with what many of us have also experienced.0
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I find that even when my head wants something and I give in and take a bite I usually have a negative reaction to it and don't want to keep going. I had a few bites of mac and cheese last night with dinner. But only after my turkey and cheese. By then it was blah. It still tastes good in my mouth but it's unpleasant to swallow and then I just don't even want it anymore. It doesn't give me the satisfaction it once did. I am learning that slowly and it is helping the cravings. It's fairly easy for me right now because the things I am most addicted to - bread and dough, carbonated drinks, gummi-based candy - I just can't eat at all. Like not even a little bit. I tried opening a diet root beer and leaving it in the fridge for a few days to let the carbonation out. I figured then it was basically crystal light. But no dice on that (so don't try it!). If your problem is chocolate or something I think it would be harder because you can sort of eat that stuff slowly and it adds up.
I've def turned into a different kind of finicky eater. I used to love peanut butter and it would be a good thing for me to eat now, but without bread or milk I don't want it. So far it's a struggle to get enough protein and the shakes that used to be good are so thick that they are hard to swallow. The not wanting to eat something is a feeling that sort of sits at the back of your throat and goes down to where you might feel heartburn. It isn't the taste that turns you off, it's the texture and density going down. I drink a lot of milk and eat a lot of greek yogurt to help me get where I need to be with protein. (I know they say no liquid calories, but I'm basically substituting plain milk for a protein shake). I used to love chicken but am finding it really tough now. I eat way more fish, especially raw fish. I eat my kids string cheese sticks all the time but don't touch the chips or goldfish like I used to.
The big thing for me is that while I don't really get hungry, I also never get full. Oh I have episodes where I've eaten too much and I've even puked a few times as I was learning but there's not that feeling of having a really full belly sitting in your mid-abdomen. There's not the feeling of drinking too much water and feeling it sloshing. Basically there is just nothing where you used to feel that big contented fullness after a meal. It's not worse or better, it's just absent and no longer factors into things. I used to eat too much too fast, partially because I liked the feeling of a full belly. I don't miss it really, but it also makes the head hunger stand out as a very odd juxtaposition to my body. I want to eat a ton because I want to feel it in a body part I no longer have? It's disconcerting and it's what makes the realization that this was (and still is) an addiction seem really close to the simple truth. Like smokers who still want to smoke when they are on oxygen and have emphysema and can't even breathe. Why? Doesn't make sense, it's just habitual and chemical and we need to retrain our minds now that we've retrained our bodies at least temporarily.0 -
What @blairmundy said is true about feeling full - it's a weird different kinda of full, my full is like a brick it sinks me, but not in that content kinda way. I am just three weeks out so I am thinking this will change over time. I am also definitely a finicky eater right now - total proteins and soft of course at this stage, but I tried ground chicken and after that first bite I just knew it was a no go...your body is an amazing thing, I don't know how to describe to you except you will just know. Lump in the throat is a great way, it just sticks...... Head stuff is still there, I watch Food Network like a fool, LOL, but I am not hungry at all. I eat because it's time to and I know I am supposed to hit calorie and protein goals everyday (I am hitting protein goals, calories...let's say that is still a work in progress). I went to a party last weekend, I was a huge foodie before they were serving lots of favorites - the only thing that even remotely interested me because it looked good was a greek salad - but even that I didn't want, I just thought it looked good and wanted to know if it tasted good from others, I didn't want any like I said I am never really hungry or at least I haven't been yet.0
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It's common to have second thoughts prior to surgery. I did. And a couple friends said the same as above, "Maybe you can do it on your own?" I thought about it, but in my heart I knew I couldn't do it on my own, at least not long term.
Having bariatric surgery is the BEST thing I've ever done for my health. And I'm confident it will be for you too!0 -
I had surgery year tomorrow, I started this journey at a weight of 345 a waist of 46 diabetes meds and high blood pressure meds plus a cpap machine to help me sleep life sucked, by july I had lost almost all my weight I was just 5 pounds away from my goal weight of 225 now this is with 6 days a week of exercise at the gym with a mix of weights and cardio, and now a year later I'm at 219 I go 5-6 days a week to the gym and I have started to rebuild my muscle but that is a up hill battle I would not trade my life now for what I had before0
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Fantastic feedback!
@josie and Blair
Very good insight, definitely learning and it all makes sense. The things you say about not feeling full, you try things but they just don't have the same appeal. No fullness. All very interesting, and it is bringing back thoughts of when I was younger, and would look at a chocolate cake ad in a magazine and wonder why anyone would want to eat that?
This is going to be a fun retraining session!
The feelings of indecision still remain, like I recieved my hospital orders from the DR, and the sugery type is listed as "Laproscopic, possible open" what!?!? I dont want to get cut open. Do i do this even if he has to go that far??
I know in my heart it is the right thing to do.0 -
JudiMoving2 wrote: »Fantastic feedback!
@josie and Blair
Very good insight, definitely learning and it all makes sense. The things you say about not feeling full, you try things but they just don't have the same appeal. No fullness. All very interesting, and it is bringing back thoughts of when I was younger, and would look at a chocolate cake ad in a magazine and wonder why anyone would want to eat that?
This is going to be a fun retraining session!
The feelings of indecision still remain, like I recieved my hospital orders from the DR, and the sugery type is listed as "Laproscopic, possible open" what!?!? I dont want to get cut open. Do i do this even if he has to go that far??
I know in my heart it is the right thing to do.
I think they list it that way as a fallback in case something goes awry and they have to open you up - my mind was if something was going wrong and my surgeon needed the okay to open me to do the right thing, he had my blessing, but he didn't need to - I also had a huge hernia repair done (paraesophageal). I think the odds of opening you are slim - but definitely ask why it's listed that way, your body your right to know
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I was a typical yo-yo dieter. Would lose 20 pounds, gain back 22. If you can do it without surgery and keep it off, great. I lost weight before surgery but I knew I needed help to lose more and keep it off.0
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JudiMoving2 wrote: »Fantastic feedback!
@josie and Blair
The feelings of indecision still remain, like I recieved my hospital orders from the DR, and the sugery type is listed as "Laproscopic, possible open" what!?!? I dont want to get cut open. Do i do this even if he has to go that far??I think they list it that way as a fallback in case something goes awry and they have to open you up - my mind was if something was going wrong and my surgeon needed the okay to open me to do the right thing, he had my blessing, but he didn't need to - I also had a huge hernia repair done (paraesophageal). I think the odds of opening you are slim - but definitely ask why it's listed that way, your body your right to know
like joysie states, thats just a fall back on the off chance there is a complication. nowadays there is only a slight chance (1%-2%) of that happening0 -
They are required to tell you the potential risks, even the chance of death is supposed to be explained though they often omit that one. Sorry, its the truth. Anytime you are receiving anesthesia is a risk. But the chances of anything happening are very rare. The advancements of medical knowledge are making it safer all the time. Try not to worry too much, though I know it is hard not to. Once it's all done you will wish you hadn't wasted the energy. Best to you!0
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I think most people feel that way pre-surgery, like if I can lose 20 pounds in 4 weeks pre-surpgery, why can't I lose the other (in my case) 368? Well maybe because history shows I can't? If I had kept off everything I've lost through the years I would fit on a charm braclett! Truth is, if we could have, we would have. For some of us the surgery is the missing tool in our lives that enable us to actually lose the weight and to keep it off.0
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That is pretty normal to feel. I felt the same way. Can I lose this on my own? Sure I can, I've done it before. For me, the problem is sticking with it long enough to hit my goal and to maintain. @ years ago I lost 94 lbs to just gain almost 60 of it back. I was contemplating surgery then and stopped. I think it was the "high" from preparing for the surgery. I felt like I didn't need the surgery. This surgery is a tool and it isn't going to do all the work for you but what I figure, is that it would help reign me in and keep me from getting out of control long enough that I could get back on track. So far so good. What I would suggest is to go through all the motions (appointments, consultations, tests etc) and don't cancel. If when you are at that point, make your decision.
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Every time I start thinking this way, I just rationally remember all of the times I've not achieved keeping the weight off. This is a powerful tool that will really help me in that regard.0
