Feeling sad & demoralized today
Keliandra
Posts: 170 Member
I'm so tempted to indulge in emotional eating right now. A huge bowl of candy not 20 feet away and another of caramel popcorn 10 feet in the opposite direction, alongside a huge platter of cookies.
Had a great Saturday, a huge endorphin rush. Met a great guy, potential romantic partner, spent several hours together, after spending 2 weeks emailing, texting and phoning.
Since a "Howdy!" Sunday morning, not a word. I sent the last two texts, I refuse to chase him.
Work is super stressful, and family as well. Feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster and I want the hell off!
Any suggestions on self-soothing, or something I can do to provide the dopamine and endorphin rush I would get from carbs?
Thank you.
Had a great Saturday, a huge endorphin rush. Met a great guy, potential romantic partner, spent several hours together, after spending 2 weeks emailing, texting and phoning.
Since a "Howdy!" Sunday morning, not a word. I sent the last two texts, I refuse to chase him.
Work is super stressful, and family as well. Feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster and I want the hell off!
Any suggestions on self-soothing, or something I can do to provide the dopamine and endorphin rush I would get from carbs?
Thank you.
0
Replies
-
Just remember, he has a life, too, and very well may just have been busy yesterday, and today is a workday for just about everyone. Very likely, it doesn't mean anything bad. Asynchronous communication is not immediate, and generally speaking, isn't expected to be.
If you can, go take a walk with your favorite music or podcast. I don't know about where you are, but it's sunny and warm right now. A great time to catch some rays and get some Vitamin D made. If you have a garden, tend to it. You'll get that sunshine, and you'll have done something productive.0 -
Exercise or talk to a friend. Have you done the middle school girl thing yet where you hash through every moment of the date with a friend? If not, that always helps me a bit.0
-
Big hugs. Emotional eating... I know we shouldn't, but a whiskey and diet ginger and a big bowl of mixed nuts, pref salted. A block of brie. Yes, it's better if you don't but sometimes we do. stay low carb, and don't worry about cals for one night. Get a good night's sleep and you'll feel better tomorrow.0
-
I feel you, had a rough day with the husband yesterday myself as his drinking to excess every weekend makes me want to go off the rails. Just keep in mind your health and goals are your own and it's not always going to be easy but it is always worth it. Go for a walk to clear your head and if he is in fact avoiding you then move on quickly because life is short and if he can't see your worth then he's not worth your time. Best wishes.0
-
katharineshalia wrote: »Go for a walk to clear your head and if he is in fact avoiding you then move on quickly because life is short and if he can't see your worth then he's not worth your time. Best wishes.
So true. If you chase him, even if it works, you'll only be resentful later.
0 -
Emotional eating may make you feel better in the short term, but you'll regret it after the sugar high wears off and you feel like *kitten* from eating so much sugar! If you like, cheese, maybe treat yourself to some expensive smelly cheese? Go out for a walk or a run! If he has a good reason to not text you, then great, but if he's just a jerk, then he's not worth you derailing your positive health changes!!0
-
People don't tether themselves to others that easily so quickly and if they do you should probably run anyway lol. Keep pursuing what is good and healthy for you!0
-
Men are pigs. +1 to exercise and chocolate to relieve stress. Um, nobody mentioned chocolate, did they? Ignore that.
0 -
-
Ugh...it sucks to be an emotional eater...and dating isn't any easier. But as mentioned above, if you give into the temptation to emotionally eat, it will only make you feel worse after the fact. Get together with some friends if possible, or I'm personally a huge fan of journaling if I don't have anything to take my mind off of the things grinding on me.
No more texts to him until/unless you hear something back...there are plenty of very valid reasons he may not have responded (phone is wonky or broke, juggling numerous plans, or stressful work day)...but if he likes you, he will respond...even if it's at some random hour when he finally has a free moment. I don't mean to sound harsh, and you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and already know what not to do.0 -
Thank you everyone. I have some really good dark chocolate, and I'll hit the gym for some weight lifting and cycling tonight, then some yoga and meditation before sleep. Maybe a (small) glass of wine, too!0
-
Move away from the sweets. Go somewhere else. The gym sounds great. The meditations sounds better. I've been a regular meditator for 25 years. Wouldn't be without it.
Are you near a beach/lake? Go for a walk.
I also recommend Bubble baths.
You haven't heard from him since Sunday? Isn't that like yesterday? Not being in contact for a few days is quite normal and very ok. If he isn't interested then you can't change that anyway. Look after yourself.
0 -
Exercise or talk to a friend. Have you done the middle school girl thing yet where you hash through every moment of the date with a friend? If not, that always helps me a bit.
@m_puppy I totally love this!! Yes! Sometimes a good girlfriend moment is exactly what we need to let go of that panic.
@Keliandra I know I said this to you privately, but remember, too, that most men are hard-wired to panic when they click really well with something (this can't be real, she must be an axe-murderer, she probably killed her last boyfriend, or she'll hate my dog kind of thing). I don't know about you, but my instinct in living a tough life sometimes is that when something good happens, I look around waiting for the other shoe to drop!0 -
@Sajyana I know its sounds over dramatic but we have been exchanging 150+ texts a day and a couple emails. So yea, I freaked a bit :P
@KnitOrMiss Thx for talking it over with me. I tend to do that to, wait for the worm in the apple.
I stayed away from the sweets, walked up 5 flights to get ice and look at the view, Returned and stretched and did deep breathing. I think it has passed for now.
Hugs to all, thank you.0 -
LOL, I'm 44, he's 57! Age is just a number
0 -
Have you heard from him? Here's the thing. When you type this out it sounds dramatic. I remember a few times I have freaked out over what appeared to others as nothing. A skipped "good morning" text even though I had received one every day, a trip that wasn't mentioned until the last minute, etc. I knew in my gut. Women are highly intuitive. The problem is we never know when to trust our gut! When we accurately trust ourselves and it's confirmed, it only adds to the paranoia and "shoe dropping" feeling. When we're wrong, we just shrug it off. Just saying, I get it. So... Anything?0
-
I just split with my boyfriend of 9 years in December...I'm terrified as hell to start dating again. Luckily that won't be happening until I get myself in order first...and who knows how long that will take Kudos to you for putting yourself out there...but yes, inquiring minds want to know...did you end up hearing from him? 0
-
I just split with my boyfriend of 9 years in December...I'm terrified as hell to start dating again. Luckily that won't be happening until I get myself in order first...and who knows how long that will take Kudos to you for putting yourself out there...but yes, inquiring minds want to know...did you end up hearing from him?
Dunno when she'll post, but she sent me a message that she did. Mixed bag. I'll let her explain.
On the split note, @nikoba, I got divorced after almost 17 years of marriage (I stopped counting at 12, and we were separated from 13 on), and had gotten married at 19, so never dated. I was terrified to date, and honestly, still haven't, because a former sweetheart and I cross paths about 4 years after my ex and I split. I was not looking for anything, as I was still getting me in shape. But the stars aligned, and he flew 5000 miles to come back to the states and be with me. That's been almost 3 years now. I would not be able to be the person in this relationship that I am today had I not taken that time to fix ME.
They say it takes 3 months for every year you are together (capping at a max of 5 years) to heal and grieve and all. It's crazy! Wishing you the best of luck and healing...praying things will come naturally to you when it is time. (hugs)0 -
Any suggestions on self-soothing, or something I can do to provide the dopamine and endorphin rush I would get from carbs?
The answer seems obvious, but sometimes difficult to implement.
If you are a very social person, get together with friends and laugh. Laughing is truly THE.BEST.MEDICINE for anything that ails you physically or emotionally.
or
If you are more of a loner type, get in *touch* with your other boyfriend, *BOB*.
0 -
I'm curious to know if you heard from him too. I've done online dating, and I have met quite a few people who "seem" great on the surface but are actually all sorts of wrong. If he'd been texting and emailing many times a day for 2 weeks, and then doesn't respond for even 24 hours, he's not interested. Not "he's busy, he lost his phone," etc. There's not a single person on the planet too busy to respond to a text, sorry. Even if they do it when they're walking to the bathroom (or in the bathroom), or as they're getting into bed, or while they're waiting for the kettle to boil. See what I'm saying? Takes seconds to respond.
The good news is, one day, one will come along who takes the hard work out of everything. I mean we have our problems, sure, what with wayward teenagers and ex wives and my weight and such, but - for the most part it's great. There's not a relationship on the planet that doesn't require some effort on both sides to be understanding and considerate, but we "fit" together.0 -
sljohnson1207 wrote: »
Any suggestions on self-soothing, or something I can do to provide the dopamine and endorphin rush I would get from carbs?
The answer seems obvious, but sometimes difficult to implement.
If you are a very social person, get together with friends and laugh. Laughing is truly THE.BEST.MEDICINE for anything that ails you physically or emotionally.
or
If you are more of a loner type, get in *touch* with your other boyfriend, *BOB*.
SO this last bit, whether loner or not.... Didn't we just have a discussion on loving yourself first?
0 -
I was curious what B.O.B. meant...my guess was Be Own Boyfriend? Either way...good message And thank you @KnitOrMiss for the insight. I'm actually 100% okay with being alone right now and focusing my energy on myself (well, I lied...my dog and then myself). But I do know that eventually, "loving myself" will need to be upgraded to including someone else...I just hate the first date parts and wish that I could skip to like the 3rd or 4th date when you already have a sense that you are diggin' each other. 0
-
My guess was battery-operated boyfriend, but I'm still trying to pretend I didn't see that. 0
-
Ahhh, that makes much more sense 0
-
I must admit ...l was curious what Bottom Of Basket ment in this context.... LOL TMI0
-
Hi,
Yes, I heard from him Tuesday morning. He said that he wanted to be honest, that "the energy was good, but not great", and that it had to be great for him to proceed. I asked if we could get together again when he returned from a trip, and he agreed, though he wasn't over-the-top enthusiastic. I guess we will see. Meanwhile, I'll drop my line back into the ocean and see if there is another fish
I saw that HORRIBLE picture Tuesday afternoon as well and my eyes were opened! *shudder* He is a very fit and highly active: motorcycles, sailing, horse riding, car racing...I don't look as tho I could keep up, especially when we were riding in a tiny smart car I guess he was trying to find a nice way to say it. However, this one -could- turn out to be a very good friend. If not, oh well! He wanted someone quirky, intelligent, loving, honest, openly affectionate, with a giving nature and a high sex drive. I'm all that and soon I will be fit and healthy, too!
0 -
-
Hi,
Yes, I heard from him Tuesday morning. He said that he wanted to be honest, that "the energy was good, but not great", and that it had to be great for him to proceed. I asked if we could get together again when he returned from a trip, and he agreed, though he wasn't over-the-top enthusiastic. I guess we will see. Meanwhile, I'll drop my line back into the ocean and see if there is another fish
I saw that HORRIBLE picture Tuesday afternoon as well and my eyes were opened! *shudder* He is a very fit and highly active: motorcycles, sailing, horse riding, car racing...I don't look as tho I could keep up, especially when we were riding in a tiny smart car I guess he was trying to find a nice way to say it. However, this one -could- turn out to be a very good friend. If not, oh well! He wanted someone quirky, intelligent, loving, honest, openly affectionate, with a giving nature and a high sex drive. I'm all that and soon I will be fit and healthy, too!
Might be something worth mentioning, your current focus on regaining your health. Maybe you could engage him in assisting you getting more active? Definitely worth trying to make a friend out of him, because energies change, shift, and heat up! If not, you can still have a great friend. 0
This discussion has been closed.