Feeling sad & demoralized today
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Keliandra
Posts: 170 Member
I'm so tempted to indulge in emotional eating right now. A huge bowl of candy not 20 feet away and another of caramel popcorn 10 feet in the opposite direction, alongside a huge platter of cookies.
Had a great Saturday, a huge endorphin rush. Met a great guy, potential romantic partner, spent several hours together, after spending 2 weeks emailing, texting and phoning.
Since a "Howdy!" Sunday morning, not a word. I sent the last two texts, I refuse to chase him.
Work is super stressful, and family as well. Feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster and I want the hell off!
Any suggestions on self-soothing, or something I can do to provide the dopamine and endorphin rush I would get from carbs?
Thank you.
Had a great Saturday, a huge endorphin rush. Met a great guy, potential romantic partner, spent several hours together, after spending 2 weeks emailing, texting and phoning.
Since a "Howdy!" Sunday morning, not a word. I sent the last two texts, I refuse to chase him.
Work is super stressful, and family as well. Feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster and I want the hell off!
Any suggestions on self-soothing, or something I can do to provide the dopamine and endorphin rush I would get from carbs?
Thank you.
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Replies
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Just remember, he has a life, too, and very well may just have been busy yesterday, and today is a workday for just about everyone. Very likely, it doesn't mean anything bad. Asynchronous communication is not immediate, and generally speaking, isn't expected to be.
If you can, go take a walk with your favorite music or podcast. I don't know about where you are, but it's sunny and warm right now. A great time to catch some rays and get some Vitamin D made. If you have a garden, tend to it. You'll get that sunshine, and you'll have done something productive.0 -
Exercise or talk to a friend. Have you done the middle school girl thing yet where you hash through every moment of the date with a friend? If not, that always helps me a bit.0
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Big hugs. Emotional eating... I know we shouldn't, but a whiskey and diet ginger and a big bowl of mixed nuts, pref salted. A block of brie. Yes, it's better if you don't but sometimes we do. stay low carb, and don't worry about cals for one night. Get a good night's sleep and you'll feel better tomorrow.0
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I feel you, had a rough day with the husband yesterday myself as his drinking to excess every weekend makes me want to go off the rails. Just keep in mind your health and goals are your own and it's not always going to be easy but it is always worth it. Go for a walk to clear your head and if he is in fact avoiding you then move on quickly because life is short and if he can't see your worth then he's not worth your time. Best wishes.0
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katharineshalia wrote: »Go for a walk to clear your head and if he is in fact avoiding you then move on quickly because life is short and if he can't see your worth then he's not worth your time. Best wishes.
So true. If you chase him, even if it works, you'll only be resentful later.
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Emotional eating may make you feel better in the short term, but you'll regret it after the sugar high wears off and you feel like *kitten* from eating so much sugar! If you like, cheese, maybe treat yourself to some expensive smelly cheese? Go out for a walk or a run! If he has a good reason to not text you, then great, but if he's just a jerk, then he's not worth you derailing your positive health changes!!0
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People don't tether themselves to others that easily so quickly and if they do you should probably run anyway lol. Keep pursuing what is good and healthy for you!0
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Men are pigs. +1 to exercise and chocolate to relieve stress. Um, nobody mentioned chocolate, did they? Ignore that.
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Ugh...it sucks to be an emotional eater...and dating isn't any easier. But as mentioned above, if you give into the temptation to emotionally eat, it will only make you feel worse after the fact. Get together with some friends if possible, or I'm personally a huge fan of journaling if I don't have anything to take my mind off of the things grinding on me.
No more texts to him until/unless you hear something back...there are plenty of very valid reasons he may not have responded (phone is wonky or broke, juggling numerous plans, or stressful work day)...but if he likes you, he will respond...even if it's at some random hour when he finally has a free moment. I don't mean to sound harsh, and you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and already know what not to do.0 -
Thank you everyone. I have some really good dark chocolate, and I'll hit the gym for some weight lifting and cycling tonight, then some yoga and meditation before sleep. Maybe a (small) glass of wine, too!0
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Move away from the sweets. Go somewhere else. The gym sounds great. The meditations sounds better. I've been a regular meditator for 25 years. Wouldn't be without it.
Are you near a beach/lake? Go for a walk.
I also recommend Bubble baths.
You haven't heard from him since Sunday? Isn't that like yesterday? Not being in contact for a few days is quite normal and very ok. If he isn't interested then you can't change that anyway. Look after yourself.
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Exercise or talk to a friend. Have you done the middle school girl thing yet where you hash through every moment of the date with a friend? If not, that always helps me a bit.
@m_puppy I totally love this!! Yes! Sometimes a good girlfriend moment is exactly what we need to let go of that panic.
@Keliandra I know I said this to you privately, but remember, too, that most men are hard-wired to panic when they click really well with something (this can't be real, she must be an axe-murderer, she probably killed her last boyfriend, or she'll hate my dog kind of thing). I don't know about you, but my instinct in living a tough life sometimes is that when something good happens, I look around waiting for the other shoe to drop!0 -
@Sajyana I know its sounds over dramatic but we have been exchanging 150+ texts a day and a couple emails. So yea, I freaked a bit :P
@KnitOrMiss Thx for talking it over with me. I tend to do that to, wait for the worm in the apple.
I stayed away from the sweets, walked up 5 flights to get ice and look at the view, Returned and stretched and did deep breathing. I think it has passed for now.
Hugs to all, thank you.0 -
LOL, I'm 44, he's 57! Age is just a number
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Have you heard from him? Here's the thing. When you type this out it sounds dramatic. I remember a few times I have freaked out over what appeared to others as nothing. A skipped "good morning" text even though I had received one every day, a trip that wasn't mentioned until the last minute, etc. I knew in my gut. Women are highly intuitive. The problem is we never know when to trust our gut! When we accurately trust ourselves and it's confirmed, it only adds to the paranoia and "shoe dropping" feeling. When we're wrong, we just shrug it off. Just saying, I get it. So... Anything?0
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I just split with my boyfriend of 9 years in December...I'm terrified as hell to start dating again. Luckily that won't be happening until I get myself in order first...and who knows how long that will take Kudos to you for putting yourself out there...but yes, inquiring minds want to know...did you end up hearing from him? 0
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I just split with my boyfriend of 9 years in December...I'm terrified as hell to start dating again. Luckily that won't be happening until I get myself in order first...and who knows how long that will take Kudos to you for putting yourself out there...but yes, inquiring minds want to know...did you end up hearing from him?
Dunno when she'll post, but she sent me a message that she did. Mixed bag. I'll let her explain.
On the split note, @nikoba, I got divorced after almost 17 years of marriage (I stopped counting at 12, and we were separated from 13 on), and had gotten married at 19, so never dated. I was terrified to date, and honestly, still haven't, because a former sweetheart and I cross paths about 4 years after my ex and I split. I was not looking for anything, as I was still getting me in shape. But the stars aligned, and he flew 5000 miles to come back to the states and be with me. That's been almost 3 years now. I would not be able to be the person in this relationship that I am today had I not taken that time to fix ME.
They say it takes 3 months for every year you are together (capping at a max of 5 years) to heal and grieve and all. It's crazy! Wishing you the best of luck and healing...praying things will come naturally to you when it is time. (hugs)0
