Jennifer's Journal
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Today was much better than yesterday and the days before. I still found myself feeling hungry more often than I should have so I’m going to make a conscious effort to drink more water.1
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How did your weekend go? Just keep moving forward, not every day is going to be perfect. You definitely can do this!
Training was okay, I'm back to my regular schedule tomorrow. I'm not really looking forward to it but I'm also just trying to make the best of it. haha Thank you for asking!
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@WifiresGettingFit my weekend was pretty good, aside from my body hating me. LOL. My weekend was full of fishing, midol, heating pads, laziness, and lots of delicious food. My cycles typically aren’t this bad, but this one was a doozy. But the days were gorgeous and we had some great family time without much use of electronics. I hope you’re getting used to being back on your schedule again. This back and forth must be hard to keep track of much and I’m sure it’s exhausting.
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Well, I’ve got to get back to logging!!! I stopped over the weekend since we had fried fish, sonic hamburgers, fried chicken nuggets (which weren’t too unhealthy until I made them buffalo style lol), and fried eggs with bacon and biscuits and gravy. Oh, being bad tastes so good! But back to business! Gotta get back on track. I’m back up 2 lbs to 215 but that’s not as bad as what I was expecting. Today I did better with water since I was just so thirsty (probably from dehydration), but I need to be aware of how much I drink everyday. I’m still struggling to increase that.0 -
@jcaldwell0331 I feel like I finally got used to my schedule but I'm really hoping an earlier schedule opens up soon. It'll be nice to have more downtime. I definitely need it. How are things going?0
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I’m so happy to hear that you’ve gotten used your schedule but I don’t blame you for keeping your eye out for an earlier position. Everything has been good but busy. I haven’t been logging my food like I should and I haven’t been completely eating right, although I haven’t been going overboard either. I’ve just felt out of sorts lately. I’ll write more a little later, but I have to get my daughter ready for school.0
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Today was pretty good. I need to get back on track, though. I didn’t log again today. Tomorrow I plan to jump back on track. Hopefully I won’t end up in the same cycle tomorrow.0
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Well, the morning started off so well.... I was doing good on calories until the time between lunch and dinner. That’s when things started unraveling. I went over my calories again and most of it is mindless grazing. I need to be pushing the water instead of snacking. Positive part is that I got my house clean. I’ve been really fighting to get ahead of it and was struggling to get there until today. Laundry is even caught up so I call today a win even if my eating was off. Tomorrow is a new day and I plan on getting back to the gym. I stopped going so I could focus on getting this house where it needed to be. I’m so out of habit that I really really don’t want to go but I have to. I know that once I get back in the habit that I’ll start enjoying it again.0
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I’m getting bad about not getting on here and not logging. I’ve been snacking more than I should but have maintained my current weight, so at least I’m not gaining crazy amounts. Heading to the gym this morning after I drop Maddie off at school. Hopefully I can do better today and get back on track.0
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How did you do? Did you get to the gym?
I've also gotten out of the habit of tracking and/or logging in here so you aren't alone.
Just keep moving forward!
As far as me getting used to my schedule, turns out I have not. I ended up leaving early on Tuesday and taking today off because our schedule is really just awful and it's starting to get to be a bit too much but I do feel mostly human again so pushing forward until I either get the earlier shift or we get a house closer. I'm hoping one or the other makes this job more bearable.0 -
Eh, I did ok. I don’t know why I keep eating junk I know that I don’t need. I really need to increase my water but it’s so hard remembering sometimes. They are mostly sugary snacks so maybe I should try that sugar detox thing again that I did a couple years ago. For 30 days, I took all sugar (not counting fruit) from my diet. So, nothing with added sugar. It was so hard and the sugar withdrawal headaches were bad but once I reached day 30, I didn’t crave sugar. I’ll have to wait until after our trip to Kentucky, though. We leave in a couple weeks to go visit Chris’ family for 2 weeks. The food they have is so delicious but, oh, so bad for you. A lot of fried things. A lot of high fat/high sugar. It’s crazy that they eat that way given that she’s (my MIL) is a diabetic. But that woman can cook. lol Anywho, after we get back, I may do that sugar detox again. I think it will help.
On Tuesday I did make it to the gym. It was nice to be back. I walked at my regular pace and figured out that I need to slow down a little to get back into it. I didn’t go yesterday cause there was so much to be done around this house. We have a small house (1100 sq ft) and hardly any storage space so it gets cluttered and I’ve been working on getting it decluttered.
I’m so sorry that you haven’t gotten used to your schedule. I imagine that is hard. Especially with 1 vehicle. I hope you enjoy your day off!! House shopping can be a lot of fun if you’re not in a rush, otherwise, it tends to be stressful.. I hope y’all are able to find one closer to work. Are you just waiting for someone to leave the earlier shift so you can move into their spot? I hope the transition to an earlier shift does happen soon for you.0 -
Well it’s been a bad couple days. Real bad. I lost my best friend (or so I thought) because of a misunderstanding that she judged me on before allowing me to explain and apologize since she took it the wrong way. She ignored me for several days then finally told me what was going on. I didn’t really know what to say. I apologized and tried to explain what I meant but was told that she needed space. Aren’t best friends supposed to forgive each other and not hold grudges? Well, I guess I will just have to move on. I can’t do more than what I’ve already done. So, emotional eating stepped in but I’ve tried to keep a handle on it. I can’t wait until our vacation. I need a break.
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I'm really sorry to hear - that sounds really rough. Maybe she is just taking space because thats what she needs to do to process the situation (as she understands it to be).
It doesn't have to mean the end if your friendship.
Perhaps it would help to write her a letter ? That way you can think about what you want to say and how best to say it. As well as explaining the situation, you could tell her that your friendship is important to you and that you really hope that you can find a way to work this out. Also end it by saying to please get in touch even if it's just via email to say that she has read the letter.
After that, you might have to give her space. Sometimes people just need time.
I really hope you feel better. As you said if she really is a good friend then you will be able to work it out.0 -
Maybe set a reminder to drink water throughout the day? I also need to work on my intake.
How's the de-cluttering going? As for the no added sugar thing, personally and this is just my experience but if I can't moderate something it's best that I just not have it in the house. It also may help to keep other options easily accessible (example: have some of your favorite veggies or fruit already cut up and ready to grab, etc) Don't know if either of those will be an option for you but unless you find out why you're grabbing all the sugary things and break the habit, you'll likely find yourself in the same position in a few months. (This is something I'm actively working on myself.) I think it's almost important to realize that not everyday can be perfect and that doing the best you can do is really all you can do.
I actually have my own vehicle but we carpool to save on money as we take a toll road to work and we have almost an hour commute. The house hunting while we aren't in a rush per se (we have until September to find something as that is when our lease is up) it is still a bit stressful. I'm not a fan of change and I don't usually handle it the best. We are just trying to find a house that'll suit us now to get us out of this apartment and on the other side of town. We have two to look at Tuesday morning. I'm not sure where I fall on the list for an earlier shift so it is likely a combination of someone moving out of that time slot and it being my turn. There is another training class finishing up this next week so I'm hoping once they get put on their own I'll get offered an earlier shift. I'm trying not to get my hopes up though as it's not guaranteed and is probably unlikely to happen. Had I known it was going to be like this though I would have just taken the earlier shift the first time around.
The way I'm reading the best friend situation is this: She judged you and ran with a conclusion and stopped talking to you because of that conclusion and only when she decided she wanted to confront you did she speak to you but that was only to tell you how she feels but not giving you a chance to explain your side (again) because she "needs space"? Am I reading that right? I do like totaldetermination's idea but I will say that if this is a common occurrence with the friend then you're probably better off.
I hope things are better, lots of hugs!
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@totaldetermination and @WifiresGettingFit thank you. Everything was via text message. After several attempts to reach her during a 4 or 5 day span, I texted “I feel like I need to apologize for something but I’m not sure what I did.” That’s when she texted me back telling me why I had been ignored for several days. Then I texted her back to explain the misunderstanding and apologize. She then texted me back and tells me that she needs space. I tried to call and it went straight to voicemail. She’s the type of person that doesn’t let things go easily even if she knows it’s a misunderstanding. I’ve even defended some of her other friends when she’d tell me what they texted or told her. We’d been friends for several years now but I can’t walk on eggshells around someone.
As far as the sugary snacks, I keep them in the house for my daughter and husband. We do have healthier alternatives usually but she likes them and he takes them to work. I try to stay out of them and I’m usually pretty good at doing so, but lately emotional eating has started to take its toll and I seem to keep finding myself in the pantry. The sugar detox is merely temporary and it’s just to kick the sugar addiction in order to really jumpstart my diet.
Now, the decluttering is going great! My house is actually starting to look cleaner and a little more spacey. It’s been nice getting it clean. You can’t help but have a positive attitude when your house is spotless.
For some reason I was think that y’all only had one and now I remember when we had the conversation about yours having to go to the shop. lol My brain is just toasted this week. I’m sorry. Good luck on finding a house and getting an earlier shift!!0 -
Hmm I could have swore I replied to this. Odd.
I don't blame you for not wanting to walk on eggshells. I think it's pretty crappy (not really the word I wanted to use here but it'll do) for someone to hold a grudge even if they know it was a misunderstanding. Just seems like a huge waste of time and something I would personally expect from a drama queen. How are things going for you now? In all aspects of your life, not just the friend or ex-friend situation.
Some other suggestions I've seen as far as snacks are concerned are the following; put them in a location that is out of your sight since you mentioned getting in the pantry what about putting them in a colored bin/container so you can't see it; it also may help if you remind yourself that they are your husbands/daughters snacks and not yours. This keeps me from eating my husbands stuff about 9 out of 10 times just because I tell myself it isn't mine to eat. (Of course if I ask about it, he'll gladly share but the exercise really works better if you don't do that and instead just tell yourself it isn't yours to eat.)
I've let my cleaning routine go quite a bit with working again. I definitely agree about the positive feelings surrounding a clean house.
You don't have to apologize about not remembering about my car, not a big deal. Thank you for the luck, we're going to need it. We've looked at three houses (which granted isn't a lot but it's definitely hasn't started out well in any case) and they were a bit let down. I feel like it's going to be months before I get an earlier shift so I'm just trying to focus on getting a better system with the current one to make things easier on us. We'll see how it goes.
I hope you're doing well and enjoying your weekend! I look forward to reading your next entry! 0 -
@WifiresGettingFit Sorry for my late reply. We had a death in the family, then a wedding, and now I’ve been getting things ready for our vacation to see my husband’s family this weekend.
She hasn’t tried to contact me at all, so I’ve moved on. I don’t care anymore. If our friendship was that weak, then it’s not worth worrying about anymore. Haha! My mom called her a drama queen as well.
I’ve been doing better with my snacking but my diet is going on the back burner soon. Once I get to Kentucky, there won’t be anything diet worthy. Once we get back, though, it’ll be back to it.
I understand how routine disruptions can affect all aspects of the former routine. Just going from school routine to summer routine and back in August, is enough of a disruption that it takes a few weeks to get back to a new normal. My house usually suffers in the process, but eventually I’m able to get back into routine. So, you’ll get there. Just keep finding where your new normals fits best and hopefully it won’t take too terribly long for a day shift position to become available. I’m sorry the house hunting isn’t going as fast as what you’d like. Just don’t settle. We were in a hurry and typical first home buyers and didn’t realize what we were getting into. lol So, take your time and make sure everything’s to your liking and in good working order.
I hope you had a wonderful weekend and I hope that tropical system Alberto doesn’t affect you. I’m not sure where you’re at. lol I’ve been keeping an eye on it since we’re leaving this weekend and traveling eastward but I think it will be completely moved through by then.
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I'm sorry to hear you've had a loss in your family, that is never easy. *HUGS* I hope you have a safe trip this weekend and have a nice visit!
Haha glad to know I wasn't the only one who had that though. It does suck when a friendship ends but sometimes it's for the best.
Enjoy the time with family and the visit, a week here and there is really a blip of time in the grand scheme of things. Family comes first.
I'm hoping it isn't too long for a new shift either but they just put out a new schedule and tweaked my lunch and second break times so it isn't looking too good for getting a new shift anytime soon. I'm trying to make the best out of it but it's definitely not without struggle. Patience is not my strong suit. I feel like everything will be better once I get an earlier shift but then again I thought everything would fall into place once I got a job and well it really didn't. Such is life I guess. haha I definitely want a move in ready place and we don't plan on settling per se but we are sort of just looking for a house that'll suit us now and maybe not for the rest of our lives. A starter home just to get us out of here.
I hope you have a great week and safe travels!
I'm in western PA so we are mostly just getting rain. There's been some flooding south of us but luckily we haven't had too much issue in our area.0 -
I’m back! We are settled in our RV tonight and making the last trek home tomorrow. We had a wonderful vacation. It was so nice to get away.
However, I did find out devastating news while I was gone.... my aunt (mom’s older sister) has lung cancer that has metastasized in her brain. I’m so heart broken over this. My aunt has been a huge part of my life. I don’t know much more information but hopefully I’ll find out more of the specifics this next week.
Man, it’s been a hard year for me so far. What else is 2018 going to hand me?
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Have a safe trip home! I'm glad to hear that you had a wonderful vacation!
I'm very sorry to hear about your aunt, cancer is a real (expletive). Don't hesitate to message me if you need someone to talk to. I'll be here.
You've definitely had a rough start, I hope this year gets better for you. *HUGS*0 -
My aunt had her first round of chemo yesterday and responded well to it so I’m hopeful that she’ll continue in that direction.
My SIL, MIL, BIL’s wife and I have started a weight loss challenge to see who can lose the most weight before my family goes back up to Kentucky again. Yesterday was day one and I was doing really well until I found the potato chips. lol I’m hoping that today I’ll do much better. Especially given that I’m not as tired as I was yesterday and I’m already working on the house and laundry. Yesterday I did a whole lot of sitting around. I’m also hoping that I can get the entire house clean today so that tonight when I relax, I will feel like I deserved the relaxation. lol I tried to get this place clean and organized before we left but it just didn’t work out as planned. Well, time to get back to it!0 -
I'm glad to hear she responded well, how often is she doing chemo?
When are you guys headed back to Kentucky? If it's motivating you that's great but remember progress is still progress even if you don't lose the most/win the challenge.
Hope you had a good rest of the day!0 -
I’m not sure yet. With her living at my mom’s house, our conversation has been mixed bag of distractions so by the time I’m about to ask something else, someone says something and the conversation goes in a different direction. lol She did say that she was able to swallow better after chemo and so she was very pleased with that.
Oh, I know. It’s all in fun. Heck, we don’t even have a “prize” for whoever wins.
We normally go to Kentucky after school is out each summer. This year will be an interesting one. My husband just applied for a position through his company in Tennessee, close to the Kentucky and Virginia borders. As much as I’ve been dreading moving in the years prior, I’m actually real excited about this position and where it’s at. So, our challenge may have to be altered depending on what our status is in the next month or so.
I ended up with 128 oz of water today. I overate a little but not too bad. I’m pleased with today overall.0 -
Edit: I didn’t overeat today! Yay! I had logged the pie we have in the fridge and we ended up not eating a slice so I was able to remove it from my diary.
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Good luck to your husband and yay for sticking to your calorie goal!0
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Well, I’m getting bad about writing in here and logging my food. Things have just felt hectic. My husband’s interview is this Friday. I haven’t been back to the gym yet. I did get my house completely caught up which is wonderful! I haven’t lost any weight since getting home from vacation. It’s a work in progress. lol0
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Good luck to your husband! *fingers crossed*
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His interview went well. Tomorrow he has interview with the Area Director. Right now everything looks like he’s going to get the position. I guess we’ll see how tomorrow goes. Tomorrow is also our daughter’s 8th birthday! I can’t believe she’s already 8. Time goes by so fast. I haven’t been doing good with eating or logging. There’s been so much going on that diet has been on the back burner. I need to get my mind focused, though. I need to get back on track.0
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He got the job so we’ll be moving to Tennessee.
Happy 4th of July!!!0 -
Spent today with my family. It was emotionally exhausting. I’m excited about this new adventure but I’ll be about 14 hours from my family and that devastates me. My mom is having trouble with me leaving and so she copes by being a little sarcastic, sometimes snarky, and a little accusing me of leaving my family for his. We’ll be 2 hours from his family. I know that she doesn’t mean what she says. She’s grieving me leaving and it made it hard today. This next month is going to be an emotional roller coaster. I have to do what’s best for my family (my husband, daughter and I) and I truly believe this move will really help my husband a lot with his PTSD. He’s a lot more relaxed when he’s near the mountains. Besides, this promotion means that he’ll be salary. 7a - 3p Mon-Fri. Right now he’s working about 52-60 hours a week (plus Saturdays....not all of them but there’s a lot of times when he has to work several Saturdays in a row) and it’s all stressful, hard, manual labor in 90-100 degree temps. This new position, he’ll be out of the equipment and primarily in an office. He’ll drive around in a regular truck to check the work being done by the equipment operators but he won’t be out there with them stressing out real bad. He won’t work any Saturdays and will have ALL holidays off. Right now he only gets Thanksgiving and Christmas Day. He’s been trying for years to make living in ETX work, but it’s too stressful for him. I know stress and PTSD go hand in hand but I truly do believe that his stress level will decrease being back in the mountains. My mom tries not to be controlling but her mom was very controlling so it’s hard for her to separate herself from that. If she tells my dad to do something, he does it. I’m very opposite my mom on that personality trait....I’m very submissive and thankfully my husband is not a controlling individual. lol We discuss things in length and take each other’s idea into consideration but, for me, it’s his ultimate decision that we go with. Sometimes it’s my idea he goes with and sometimes he tells me no and I follow what he says. He’s a very smart man so usually in the instances where he tells me no, his decision was the right one. But I digress, she wants so bad to control this situation with our move but knows that she can’t and it hurts her. Her and I have even discussed the fact that this is out of her control and she agreed. So, I don’t harbor any bad feelings towards my mom, it’s just hard when I try to stay strong and be really excited like I keep being told that I should be. I’m overwhelmed. I don’t have time to be excited or think about difficult decisions like whose house we’re going to at Christmas or how long it’ll be before I get to come visit or what house/town/city we’re moving to. I have to focus on getting this house packed without getting into a depressive slump over emotional stuff. Overwhelmed. Very overwhelmed.0
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I finally got better sleep last night and have felt better today. Yesterday was real bad for me. I broke down several times and was physically and mentally exhausted from hardly sleeping for several days and the realization that I’m moving so far away from my family. I’m still tired but not quite like I was yesterday. I started packing the first box today. The hubs is off tomorrow so we should get more taken care of then. Diet is on hold for now until we get settled.0
