Things you never knew about being in your 30's
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VixenArgentum wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »Some of us childfree single men in our 30's really struggle to find dates with childfree women. You all exist on the internet in some far off place like Narnia or something, but never where I live.
Why must a childfree woman be where you live? Have you considered moving places where more childfree women are? Major metropolitan areas have higher concentrations.
I moved for my husband because I love and support him. We are both childfree and met online...and have been together for a decade. If a woman is really amazing and everything you want, why not date online, meet to make sure there's chemistry and then move for love?
Limiting your options gives you poor choice...we live in a time where there are great opportunities near and far. Don't feed yourself lies that you can't easily find someone. I've dated many many childfree men AND childfree women. They're not hard to find when you go to places that they congregate. Check out things like meetup.com.--they have several childfree singles groups in my area. If you have none, start your own. Now is not the time to complain. Now is the time to take action.
Best of luck.
Yes, I've tried that and have yet to find anybody interested in someone who doesn't already live very close.
The other idea, which I have thought about for years, is to move to an area with more CF people already and hope to then find someone. There is no guarantee in that working, nor do I believe it is likely to work... so the remote possibility is not worth moving to a much more expensive city (Seattle or Portland are key demographic targets) at this time. In another 10-15 years, I would be in a much better position financially (as student loans will be gone and I will own my house without a mortgage) to be able to do live in such a place.
ETA: I used to live in a city, btw, and had no success there even though the demographics were much better than where I live today.
ETA again: The Meetup site limits to searching within 100 miles of a location (or any distance, which is not helpful). After trying 100 miles from several locations within my region of the country, I found the nearest CF meetup group (for married CF people, in fact) is just over 300 miles away and the 2nd nearest is just under 400 miles away. If I started one here, I would be the only member.0 -
Gahh, ya'll, I feel like everything starting going downhill after 30. Breaking bones is a hell of a lot easier now. Staying up past 930 is seriously torture. I used to go to metal shows all the time and party while there, stay out until 4. If I pull that *kitten* now, go ahead and cancel everything I have planned for the next 2 days because I'm gonna be out of commission. I remember being at a Mastodon show yawning at 11, just wanting to go home. It's weird.
I'm terrified of 40. Lol.0 -
I'll be 32 next month and am loving it. Though I don't really feel much different than I did at 25 except I'll admit the all-nighters and crappy food in college were easier at 25-29. I'm so much more aware of what I can do and how to do it now! I spent 6 months this year roadtripping New Zealand and am planning my next big trip to Europe (debating Ireland or Italy first?). On Friday I was out with some friends till 3 am and now know how to handle alcohol so I'm not sick all weekend anymore! I don't have kids but I don't understand why everyone uses them as an excuse. My best friend is also 32 next month, she's pregnant with her 3rd kid, she just finished college, works full time and is training to be a pilot (she has her private license now and is working towards her commercial license!). And we just went to a weeknight concert despite the fact that she's 7 months preggers and had to work the next day (everyone always asks so.... her kids were at home with her husband who does not share our taste in music).
You couldn't pay me to go back to 20! Now I just need to get in better shape!0 -
I love being in my 30s and listening to the 20 something's talk. Did I say crap like that? I just finished my bachelors degree last year at 34 so there was a lot of exposure to kids that really had no clue what was coming. It made me feel old at first but grateful for life lessons, such as, 9 pm is a good sound bed time.
I know what you mean, sad thing is I still hear some people our age talk the same way. I'm internally shaking my head while trying to keep up with what they are "trying" to say. I also agree 9 pm is a good bedtime. I will a take an in early night over a late night anytime.0 -
You know.... I don't really feel a difference between my 20's and 30's.... other than kids born when I graduated are old enough to drive. Ponder this.... there are people bordering on adults who don't remember September 11th because they weren't alive for it. It certainly is a strange feeling to think about things like that.
But other than those little oddities (to me, anyway), things haven't really changed for me. I set into my way of life early on and haven't really changed. I think the only thing that my age is really pressing on me is the fact that I am still single and childless. Getting close to where I can't fix that.
Wish I could commiserate with you guys about the bedtimes, though.... I've been a night-shifter for going on 13 years. My bedtime is 7 in the morning and I'm exhausted thinking about staying up past 9. So maybe I can translate your PM to my AM?
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You know.... I don't really feel a difference between my 20's and 30's.... other than kids born when I graduated are old enough to drive. Ponder this.... there are people bordering on adults who don't remember September 11th because they weren't alive for it. It certainly is a strange feeling to think about things like that.
But other than those little oddities (to me, anyway), things haven't really changed for me. I set into my way of life early on and haven't really changed. I think the only thing that my age is really pressing on me is the fact that I am still single and childless. Getting close to where I can't fix that.
Wish I could commiserate with you guys about the bedtimes, though.... I've been a night-shifter for going on 13 years. My bedtime is 7 in the morning and I'm exhausted thinking about staying up past 9. So maybe I can translate your PM to my AM?
I'm single and childfree. Childfree differentiated from childless because childfree means I don't have kids and don't want them whereas childless means you want kids, might want kids, or have not yet made up your mind.
So the childfree part is intended. I'm still single, though, and am gradually accepting and embracing that. If I die single, so what?!0 -
Main gripe is perception from others...looking the same as a 20yo but being in your 30s sucks especially when you can not grow a beard (genetics) & actually take care of yourself (not appear to age as fast as others). Really need some grey hair right about now although I know plenty of my peers who just want more hair in general (lol).
Feel like I'm taken less seriously despite both ample experience & education just based on superficial detail (I've got plenty of Capricorn-esque ambition/personality). Can not wait until I'm 50+yo and approach Bill Nye like appearance (looks amazing given his age)0 -
I'm still myself 100%, only I got an upgrade in the looks, maturity, and wisdom departments. I plan on 40's being the same! I'm not someone who ever pondered on my future so I never thought about how my 30's would be. I just lived in the moment. But I am pleasantly surprised how everything leveled up.0
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I wouldn't be who I was today without what I was before. But good luck trying to find friends in your 30's...who don't drink.
Any suggestion to go bowling or camping, is met with either bored stares or harried parents who just can't. And I'm one of those 'unicorn gals' with happiness and chipper-sayings, so everyone assumes I haven't 'grown up' yet, because of course 30-somethings are all bitter, poor, grouchy, tired, angry fudgers with no desire to do anything but sit on the couch and watch the latest superhero series.....therefore I can't POSSIBLY be an adult....at 34.
Too old to be cool, too young to know what I'm doing. Thanks to the generations around us.0 -
I love being in my 30s. I always wanted to be a respected business woman and that is exactly what I have accomplished at 36. This year I am focusing on enjoying myself more and taking better care of my needs first. But, I never knew how many opportunities would be handed to me... just for being in an older age bracket.0
