Hey everyone
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stroutman81 wrote: »1. I've been following your "Relatively light people trying to get leaner" thread for a while and saw the link you posted. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, and the group name and purpose matches my goals, so I joined.
Awesome! Glad you did. And yeah, that thread sort of took on a life of it's own over the years. It was fun to participate in.2. Though I do set check points, I tend to be a little rigid with my workout schedule. I need more methods of flexibility for training. My greatest challenge, however, is that I have "Shiny Object Syndrome." While I'm very good at maintaining and improving physical flexibility and cardiovascular health, I'm not very consistent with any strength training program. All programs seem so amazing. I always find new videos and programs that look interesting, and I hop from one program to the next. Since May this year, I've started a dumbbell M/W/F total body routine, and I'm determined to stick this one out. It's been a bit over a month now, and I honestly feel like I'll maintain consistency now, but I have to fight the urge to try out other lifting programs I find online.
Why do you think you like to jump from program to program?
Boredom?
Or do you think you feel as though you're missing out on something?3. I am enough because I always have the capacity to grow. No matter where I am in life, I am capable of improving myself every day, and that means I am enough.
Hell.Yes.4. Oh boy. Hmmmm..... I guess success for me is not regressing and/or making progress in at least one area of life.
I think that your #4 is a bit contradictory of your #3. I don't buy that you define success as maintenance, which is how I translate "not regressing." But I'll buy that you always like to be making some progress in some form or fashion. That I can live with.
2. Boredom is a factor, but it's moreso that I feel like I'm missing out on something. I'm limited to home workouts and adjustable dumbbells, and my routine consists of dumbbell squats, dead-lifts, calf raises, inclined press, shoulder press, one arm dumbbell rows, alternate dumbbell curls, lunges, overhead dumbbell extensions, and I finish off with ab work, so I think I am hitting all areas of the body, but then I'll see a routine that has less or more sets and/or other moves, and I start to wonder if those moves and numbers would be better. However, I know that hopping from one program to another won't let me test to see what works for me.
4. Haha. I guess you're right.0 -
- well I wasn't invited, I'm simply crashing the party... haha.
I only got about 5% done my friends list. I wish there was a way to invite all friends at once. Can anyone learn me on this?
[quote}Worked directly with Steve for a year and it was a very, very impactful year for me. In fact, I'm finding things he said to me 12, 8, 6 mos ago are finally starting to manifest themselves in my life. I'm stubborn and thick headed and sometimes it just takes that long. Just ask my wife.... [/quote]
LOL!
Definitely enjoyed the hell out of working with you. One of the hardest working and funniest clients I've dealt with.
Glad you're here.2. What's your biggest challenge when it comes to your fitness?
- injuries. Mentally I'm pretty focused on fitness because I've come to really enjoy it. But both of my shoulders are now pretty shredded and my back is a bit of a disaster. So I have to do a lot of "work arounds", but I get it done. I just have to constantly be smart enough to know when to make modifications and to listen to what my old joints are trying to tell me.
Seems to be a recurring theme in this thread!
But yeah, most things can be trained around. Takes some ego checking... but still... something is better than nothing.3. Why are you enough right now?
- super question. Because, in many ways thanks to Steve, I've been able to back away from my "machine mentality" and start to enjoy my life as a "normal" person instead of letting obsessiveness and fixation and fear cause massive anxiety. It's just food. I am what I am. Sure I could be a few pounds lighter or have a bit less body fat or be able to lift more weight, but right now I'm really learning to accept myself for who I am, who I was, who I'm not and for what I can be. I have a much clearer vision of what "enough" is right now. That vision looks different than it did a year ago but that's ok because it's also attainable.
Love this:
"I'm really learning to accept myself for who I am, who I was, who I'm not and for what I can be."
People have a hard time separating the concepts of acceptance and settling. They are definitely NOT one in the same.
I just explained it in more words or less to one of my clients like this...
There are fixed mindsets and there are growth mindsets. Most people in this fitness stuff are rocking fixed mindsets. They are what they are and that's that. In the fixed mindset, I understand how acceptance feels like settling. In a growth mindset, though... where skills and qualities are merely starting points to build upon... acceptance is more about calmly seeing the lay of the land so you know how to navigate your next step forward into becoming.
I think this is such a powerful concept.4. How do you define a successful day in your life?
- any day I've set a good example for my kids or been of value to my wife is a successful day
High five.
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In all honesty, it's just occasionally not having the motivation to do what it takes to get a workout in (like get out of bed early, lol!) when other things get in the way. I'm highly driven when the motivation is strong, but I sometimes allow myself to get a little laissez-faire about my workouts.
Happens to the best of us.
What helps me is having a fallback plan. There are days where I just don't have it. I've learned that I feel better about myself and my path if I at least do something on these days. Even if it's a handful of rounds of a barbell complex... where I'm in and out in 15 minutes... I still feel successful. I kept the momentum going.
Food for thought.This definitely resonates with me, as I love learning, growing, challenging myself. I get bored easily and am constantly seeking out new challenges. Failure, if taken in the proper perspective, is as much a growing and learning experience as success is.
Precisely!On a side note, Steve - thanks for starting this group. I was a member of your previous MFP group and also look forward to your newsletters. You impart good, solid information and present it in a very positive, motivating way. Thanks for giving so selflessly to help others toward their goals.
Don't mention it. I get as much out of it as anyone else. And this isn't much of a group. Yet. But I have faith it'll grow. If you encounter anyone who can use this sort of community... definitely refer them.
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stroutman81 wrote: »
That stream of consciousness begs the question...
"Do you talk to yourself the same way that you would your sibling or your best friend if they were in your exact shoes?"
Had to interject on this one because it brought up a relevant anecdote I often think back to: Once I was golfing with two friends. One of them was an "Eeyore" type personality, and during the entire round he was berating himself for his poor play. Nothing but negative talk. The other friend, who was sort of a teacher/mentor, quietly asked me "If you had a caddy who was talking to you like that while you were golfing, wouldn't you fire him? Constantly telling you how badly you're playing, you're going to miss that putt anyway, you're going to hit this shot into the water, you don't even know how to play golf?". I said sure I would, and he replied "Well, out here you're your own caddy - so if you wouldn't let a caddy talk to you like that, you shouldn't talk to yourself like that either."
In life, we're our own "caddy". How we talk to ourselves, how we see ourselves, plays a large part in how we function and perform in everyday life. A good caddy instills confidence in his player, props him up when he's faltering and hands him a towel when he needs it. Be a good "caddy" for yourself.
This x 1000
Very wise words.0 -
Hi!
1. What made you accept the invitation or join?
I happened upon the group when I was browsing one of the forums, loved the message and goals, and saw a couple of my MFPs on the member list. It fits with what I want to do in my life, and I'm always looking to learn more.
2. What's your biggest challenge when it comes to your fitness?
Food. Oh how I love food. I like to eat, and overeat. I can put away an obscene amount of food. And once I start eating for the day, it seems like I'm constantly eating something. Calorie restriction rarely goes well for me. And my maintenance is lower than I'd like it to be thanks to an uncontrolled thyroid problem. I'm trying the warrior diet right now. It's worked very well the last couple of days. Tons of energy, great workouts, not hungry, and I stuff myself at dinner time.
3. Why are you enough right now?
The Buddhist in me says I'm enough because I am. I'm plenty critical of myself, but this is what I strive to come back to.
4. How do you define a successful day in your life?
I want to go to bed tired. Not exhausted or drained. But I want to feel in my body that I've really done something that day. Whether that's a tough workout, an all day active day, or chasing my kid around outside. I want to feel like I nourished myself and my family with good food. I want to laugh, and make my son laugh. I want to make someone else's day brighter, even if it's just by a little.1 -
stroutman81 wrote: »
1. What made you accept the invitation or join?
2. What's your biggest challenge when it comes to your fitness?
3. Why are you enough right now?
4. How do you define a successful day in your life?
1. I am quite new to this fitness gig and I am very hesitant to post questions or ask for advice for the fear of coming off too dumb. Yours was the first thread I ever posted in and I received solid answers and I love your positive look and attitude. So when I saw this group I jumped right in to learn and grow. Yeah,in short, I gatecrashed!
2. Injuries. Its like I turned 40 and my body was like yeah you're old now. I don't lack the motivation but injuries keep derailing me and to be very frank they sometimes make me wish I had'nt started exercising in earnest.
3. This is something that I struggle with massively. I'll get back to you when I figure it out.
4. Any day where I feel I've done justice to the varying roles I play to my family ~ a loving wife, a good mother and above all when I'm good to myself!1 -
stroutman81 wrote: »I love everything Steve has to say. Lot of respect, always love to learn.
Aww shucks.
Thanks!Argh, being so exhausted all the time. I am a stay at home mum to a 2.5 year old and 10 month old, living in Turkey (I'm Australian), so not a lot of support. The little one woke up literally 5-6 times a night for 9 months. Brutal. It's so hard to accept I am just not able to work out like I did before kids, and that there are some permanent changes to my body. I'm very hard on myself, I get told that a lot and I know it's true.
Yep, *kitten* definitely changes when you have kids.... on all levels. And when you don't have a lot of support to help out, it can be so damn taxing. I'm guessing the reality is that mommy-ing is prioritized over fitness... as it should be. But the ingrained expectations you hold over yourself are still positioned as if fitness was prioritized over everything else.
Agree? Disagree?
If you agree... what expectations wind up causing the chain of events that leads to you beating yourself up?
I haven't written on a mfp forum for years, trying to figure out how to reply.
I agree. The chain of events... I don't know, I've always been very negative towards myself, possibly as that's what my Mum was like. When given a compliment, I would always respond with something negative, like if it were losing the weight after pregnancy I'd say 'oh no, I am nowhere near where I used to be', it's just a bad habit. As an aside- I studied Japanese for years and lived there a while, part of that culture is to be very humble and modest. I found that so easy to do people used to say I was like a real Japanese. I've been consciously trying to stop the negative self talk, and focus on positives. Instead of looking at my loose skin, I'm trying to look at how I'm finally looking stronger and leaner again with the workouts. It doesn't come naturally and takes a lot of work. My husband also isn't one for compliments, he thinks I should already 'know' it.I do my best to be a good example to the kids. I have been doing Bikini body mommy work outs for the last 6 months or so, mostly 6 days a week. I hit 10000 steps most days. When I do have the energy I aim to run 3 times a week, but that hasn't been consistent for a while. I eat pretty well and prepare most meals from scratch. I'm doing a pretty good job under the circumstances.
More than most mommies!
Thanks. Instead of thinking it's 'not enough', I'm trying to think of myself as just adapting a moderate, healthy lifestyle, rather than that intensity of training before having kids.Tough one. A day that goes smoothly with meals planned and prepped (need a lot of work on this area... End up finishing the kids meals or waiting too long to eat because I'm flapping about trying to prepare for them). Hitting my steps. Doing my workout. Not losing my temper with the kids. Not randomly baking and eating something for no reason. Being aware of what I'm eating and making conscious decisions. Actually, I feel best on days I'm able to do a little run. I feel great.
That stream of consciousness begs the question...
"Do you talk to yourself the same way that you would your sibling or your best friend if they were in your exact shoes?"
I'm sure you can guess the answer. In a mommy group I'm in I see people that are clearly struggling with weight more than ı am, and the first thing I do is say something positive, but when it comes to myself, I'm horrible. I have been making an effort, but as I said above, it doesn't come naturally, so is a work in progress to be kind to myself.
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Noelani1503 wrote: »Hi!
1. What made you accept the invitation or join?
I happened upon the group when I was browsing one of the forums, loved the message and goals, and saw a couple of my MFPs on the member list. It fits with what I want to do in my life, and I'm always looking to learn more.
@Noelani1503
Awesome, well welcome aboard.2. What's your biggest challenge when it comes to your fitness?
Food. Oh how I love food. I like to eat, and overeat. I can put away an obscene amount of food. And once I start eating for the day, it seems like I'm constantly eating something. Calorie restriction rarely goes well for me. And my maintenance is lower than I'd like it to be thanks to an uncontrolled thyroid problem. I'm trying the warrior diet right now. It's worked very well the last couple of days. Tons of energy, great workouts, not hungry, and I stuff myself at dinner time.
What do you think overeating provides you? Put differently, why do you think you keep doing it?3. Why are you enough right now?
The Buddhist in me says I'm enough because I am. I'm plenty critical of myself, but this is what I strive to come back to.
Well that's what this place is all about. You're enough and you want more. And that's ok!4. How do you define a successful day in your life?
I want to go to bed tired. Not exhausted or drained. But I want to feel in my body that I've really done something that day. Whether that's a tough workout, an all day active day, or chasing my kid around outside. I want to feel like I nourished myself and my family with good food. I want to laugh, and make my son laugh. I want to make someone else's day brighter, even if it's just by a little.
Love this.0 -
sureitstime wrote: »1. I am quite new to this fitness gig and I am very hesitant to post questions or ask for advice for the fear of coming off too dumb. Yours was the first thread I ever posted in and I received solid answers and I love your positive look and attitude. So when I saw this group I jumped right in to learn and grow. Yeah,in short, I gatecrashed!
@sureitstime
Awesome! Glad you're here and DEFINITELY ask questions. Please. We need some life injected into this community and I want learning through Q&A to be one of the cornerstones of this community. When you have questions, start new threads and ask. There are no dumb questions. We all share the common mission of getting better than we were yesterday... one small lesson at a time.3. Injuries. Its like I turned 40 and my body was like yeah you're old now. I don't lack the motivation but injuries keep derailing me and to be very frank they sometimes make me wish I had'nt started exercising in earnest.
What forms of exercise tend to injure you?3. This is something that I struggle with massively. I'll get back to you when I figure it out.
I'd start by reflecting on what you're proud about in your life. And what you feel you do well. And what others whom you care about derive from having you in their life.4. Any day where I feel I've done justice to the varying roles I play to my family ~ a loving wife, a good mother and above all when I'm good to myself!
Something tells me at least part of the reason you're enough right now is embedded in this answer.
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I'm sure you can guess the answer. In a mommy group I'm in I see people that are clearly struggling with weight more than ı am, and the first thing I do is say something positive, but when it comes to myself, I'm horrible. I have been making an effort, but as I said above, it doesn't come naturally, so is a work in progress to be kind to myself.
@rachmaree
It's okay that it doesn't come naturally. In fact, it's natural for most of us to play the role of "harsh critic" when it comes to our own lives. Great job, though, in realizing this and striving to change it. That's what this community is all about. Acknowledging and issue and putting in the work to improve it.
You say that you've been making an effort. Any particular strategy you're employing? Or sort of just trying to be more cognizant of it in general?
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stroutman81 wrote: »1. What made you accept the invitation or join?
Saw mention of it in another of your threads. Always a fan of your posting so thought Id check it out.
Generally - Adherence.stroutman81 wrote: »2. What's your biggest challenge when it comes to your fitness?
Ive never been a "fitness" person. Never enjoyed or been interested in working out.
The year before last I had a wake up call my weight was out of hand, so dieted down to a good weight.
Then I realised I was grossly unfit so spent last year trying to rectify that.
I lift mostly, though did C25k last year and am getting back into jogging more.
As much as I like it, and like the results, its still not something that comes totally naturally to me and takes a big effort to get up and do it. Its especially bad if I feel low at that time, and can be prone to spells like that.
Specifically - somethings up with my shoulder at the minute so Im laying off to see if it heals.
Im positive. I have faults Im trying to rectify. Im trying to improve myself. While I can always be "better" Im already a hell of a lot better off than I was in the past.stroutman81 wrote: »3. Why are you enough right now?stroutman81 wrote: »4. How do you define a successful day in your life?
Shamelessly stealing this:- any day I've set a good example for my kids or been of value to my wife is a successful day
I could write a dozen paragraphs and not make the same point anywhere near as well.
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samhennings wrote: »Saw mention of it in another of your threads. Always a fan of your posting so thought Id check it out.
@samhennings
Thanks and welcome aboard!Generally - Adherence.
Ive never been a "fitness" person. Never enjoyed or been interested in working out.
The year before last I had a wake up call my weight was out of hand, so dieted down to a good weight. Then I realised I was grossly unfit so spent last year trying to rectify that.
I lift mostly, though did C25k last year and am getting back into jogging more.
As much as I like it, and like the results, its still not something that comes totally naturally to me and takes a big effort to get up and do it. Its especially bad if I feel low at that time, and can be prone to spells like that.
Why does being a "good weight" and a fit person matter to you?Im positive. I have faults Im trying to rectify. Im trying to improve myself. While I can always be "better" Im already a hell of a lot better off than I was in the past.
Love seeing people embrace a growth mindset!
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stroutman81 wrote: »Why does being a "good weight" and a fit person matter to you?
I dont know really, it just does.
I have an idea of being fit, that Id like to achieve. Mostly because I never have been that way.
I have children, not only would I like to be a good example to them, but I want to be able to keep up with them as well. Be active and have fun with them.
Ive just come to the mindset where its something I feel I should do.
A bit vague, Im sorry, but I dont really have a single, articulate, answer to that.0 -
samhennings wrote: »stroutman81 wrote: »Why does being a "good weight" and a fit person matter to you?
I dont know really, it just does.
I have an idea of being fit, that Id like to achieve. Mostly because I never have been that way.
I have children, not only would I like to be a good example to them, but I want to be able to keep up with them as well. Be active and have fun with them.
Ive just come to the mindset where its something I feel I should do.
A bit vague, Im sorry, but I dont really have a single, articulate, answer to that.
When you "should" all over yourself, you tend to accumulate a sense of guilt and eventually a unconscious desire to rebel.
At least that's been my experience with myself and clients.
I think having a clearly defined why and regularly reflecting on that why are important parts of the process. Otherwise, when motivation is low, which is natural at times, there's really nothing front and center in your mind to help you follow through with your intentions in spite of the low willpower.
Thoughts?0 -
I dont think thats the case with me. I think with me keeping it a little "casual" in my mind helps me get on with it.
Were I to make a solid, absolute, committment? THAT is when it would all fall down and I would rebel.
So Ive instead tried to build a routine, a habit, and then try to stick to that. KISS kind of thing.
Perhaps I should have a more defined target/reasoning. Could be Im in a place to deal with that more, Ill give it some thought.1 -
stroutman81 wrote: »
What do you think overeating provides you? Put differently, why do you think you keep doing it?!
I'm not sure. I enjoy eating, and food selection and cooking is a big hobby of mine. Some of it is comfort eating, I know. But for the most part, I simply love to eat good food, and my home is always full of good food. And I never get the feeling of being overstuffed, despite what I eat. I've had no problem getting in 1200 calories in one meal without discomfort (which I kinda have to do on this diet, since most of my intake occurs over a 3-4 hour span). The book I just finished proposed that we have an instinctual urge to overeat, which would make sense from an evolutionary perspective I suppose.
I keep doing it because I haven't had any real consequences so far. I'm still probably a few pounds from my goal weight, but I've never been overweight so I guess I haven't felt a strong push to change my habits until recently.0 -
Noelani1503 wrote: »I'm not sure. I enjoy eating, and food selection and cooking is a big hobby of mine. Some of it is comfort eating, I know. But for the most part, I simply love to eat good food, and my home is always full of good food. And I never get the feeling of being overstuffed, despite what I eat. I've had no problem getting in 1200 calories in one meal without discomfort (which I kinda have to do on this diet, since most of my intake occurs over a 3-4 hour span). The book I just finished proposed that we have an instinctual urge to overeat, which would make sense from an evolutionary perspective I suppose.
I keep doing it because I haven't had any real consequences so far. I'm still probably a few pounds from my goal weight, but I've never been overweight so I guess I haven't felt a strong push to change my habits until recently.
An intermittent fasting approach works very well for some people. It's not the be all end all, and it's totally wrong for some folks, but if you're enjoying it than that's all that matters.
Why the strong push to change your habits now?0 -
1. What made you accept the invitation or join?
2. What's your biggest challenge when it comes to your fitness?
3. Why are you enough right now?
4. How do you define a successful day in your life?
Hello -1. I belonged to the School of Stroutman and thought the advice to women who don't have "alot" to lose or want to get leaner was brilliant. Also, some of my friends seem to know you and joined!
2. I try every day to move more and eat satisfying foods within my maintenance or weight loss goals. That said, I basically struggle to meet my goals, altough I think they are very realistic. I try to take the incremental approach that even a few less empty calories or a few more steps on any given day is a good step toward better fitness and health. I also have a need to keep my "numbers" in the right zone and that is immediately impacted by diet/exercise.
3. I'm enough right now because my two sons are on the right tracks for their future and I had a great walk during lunchtime today!
4. An organized day in the office, some time exercising outdoors, and time spent with family or friends.
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MaryQueenofWalking wrote: »Hello -1. I belonged to the School of Stroutman and thought the advice to women who don't have "alot" to lose or want to get leaner was brilliant. Also, some of my friends seem to know you and joined!
I actually thought about making a group specific to lean women trying to get leaner. It didn't feed my passion quite like the concept of this group, though... so I went with this.2. I try every day to move more and eat satisfying foods within my maintenance or weight loss goals. That said, I basically struggle to meet my goals, altough I think they are very realistic. I try to take the incremental approach that even a few less empty calories or a few more steps on any given day is a good step toward better fitness and health. I also have a need to keep my "numbers" in the right zone and that is immediately impacted by diet/exercise.
Help me understand what you struggle with in particular please?
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stroutman81 wrote: »Noelani1503 wrote: »I'm not sure. I enjoy eating, and food selection and cooking is a big hobby of mine. Some of it is comfort eating, I know. But for the most part, I simply love to eat good food, and my home is always full of good food. And I never get the feeling of being overstuffed, despite what I eat. I've had no problem getting in 1200 calories in one meal without discomfort (which I kinda have to do on this diet, since most of my intake occurs over a 3-4 hour span). The book I just finished proposed that we have an instinctual urge to overeat, which would make sense from an evolutionary perspective I suppose.
I keep doing it because I haven't had any real consequences so far. I'm still probably a few pounds from my goal weight, but I've never been overweight so I guess I haven't felt a strong push to change my habits until recently.
An intermittent fasting approach works very well for some people. It's not the be all end all, and it's totally wrong for some folks, but if you're enjoying it than that's all that matters.
Why the strong push to change your habits now?
I was active before and during pregnancy. I loved kickboxing, and had just started learning BJJ. When my son was born, I struggled to juggle everything. My mom was dying, and I had other priorities. It wasn't until he was nearly 2 that I realized I needed exercise for my mental health, and to get some of my self back. I'm changing my eating habits because to be able to do the activities I want to do, I need to properly fuel my body, and not just eat a ton of calories because I can. I want to be a little leaner and a lot stronger, and I need solid nutrition to get there I think.1 -
Noelani1503 wrote: »I was active before and during pregnancy. I loved kickboxing, and had just started learning BJJ. When my son was born, I struggled to juggle everything. My mom was dying, and I had other priorities. It wasn't until he was nearly 2 that I realized I needed exercise for my mental health, and to get some of my self back. I'm changing my eating habits because to be able to do the activities I want to do, I need to properly fuel my body, and not just eat a ton of calories because I can. I want to be a little leaner and a lot stronger, and I need solid nutrition to get there I think.
Sorry about your mom.
Good thing is getting a little leaner and a lot stronger are simple journeys. Not easy... they take a lot of consistency, effort, and momentum. But the path to each is pretty straightforward.
Let me know if there's anything I can do to help! And keep us posted on how your experiment with IF is coming along please.
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1. What made you accept the invitation or join?
2. What's your biggest challenge when it comes to your fitness?
3. Why are you enough right now?
4. How do you define a successful day in your life?
1. Hi Steve! I've been following your posts for a couple years now and I enjoy very much your insight. I enjoy learning very much - I think learning about nutrition and fitness was one of my strongest drives for achieving a significant weight loss a couple years back. And although I've tackled the basics, I feel like there are still lots of beasts to conquer: emotional eating, all or nothing thinking, etc etc. I enjoy your way of thinking and I feel like I have a lot to learn from you.
2. Things work well when I have time, I feel good about myself and I don't have too many social obligations. When life is busy though, it becomes a mess. I make it worse by giving up in advance, thinking "oh, I'll start over next week" etc etc. Finding the balance between everyday life and working towards long term goals is my biggest challenge, not only in fitness
3. I tend to say to myself "that's not enough" a lot. But I have a good life and a great family and I try everyday to get better. I should acknowledge that more often...
4. I'd say successful day is a day that I managed to do a bit of everything. Be productive at work, do my workout, prepare my meals, have time with my family, have time for myself. Not easy to manage every day, but I try.
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stroutman81 wrote: »I'm sure you can guess the answer. In a mommy group I'm in I see people that are clearly struggling with weight more than ı am, and the first thing I do is say something positive, but when it comes to myself, I'm horrible. I have been making an effort, but as I said above, it doesn't come naturally, so is a work in progress to be kind to myself.
@rachmaree
It's okay that it doesn't come naturally. In fact, it's natural for most of us to play the role of "harsh critic" when it comes to our own lives. Great job, though, in realizing this and striving to change it. That's what this community is all about. Acknowledging and issue and putting in the work to improve it.
You say that you've been making an effort. Any particular strategy you're employing? Or sort of just trying to be more cognizant of it in general?
Thanks Steve.
I try to catch the negative self talk right away, and find some way to make it positive. Start to think 'Look at my flabby belly!' (while doing a plank). Stop and think, 'I had 2 pregnancies that went 42 weeks! I am taking the time to exercise, and look, I can hold it the full 70 seconds.'
I find it very hard to accept that my body has simply changed after having babies. My boobs will never be the same again. That's ok- obviously- I just wasn't mentally prepared for it.
I did 30 days in a group where I posted a positive thought every day (from a book) which did help me to reflect on things. I look at my body now and want it to be a way it may never be... I'm trying to learn to accept and love it as it is.2 -
ElliInJapan wrote: »1. Hi Steve! I've been following your posts for a couple years now and I enjoy very much your insight. I enjoy learning very much - I think learning about nutrition and fitness was one of my strongest drives for achieving a significant weight loss a couple years back. And although I've tackled the basics, I feel like there are still lots of beasts to conquer: emotional eating, all or nothing thinking, etc etc. I enjoy your way of thinking and I feel like I have a lot to learn from you.
Thanks so much! And yeah, as I'm fond of saying... for most of us the bulk of the battle is from the neck up. Get a handle on that stuff and from the neck down tends to fall into place naturally.2. Things work well when I have time, I feel good about myself and I don't have too many social obligations. When life is busy though, it becomes a mess. I make it worse by giving up in advance, thinking "oh, I'll start over next week" etc etc. Finding the balance between everyday life and working towards long term goals is my biggest challenge, not only in fitness
Have you ever considered creating fallback plans. Essentially these are the minimal versions of your typical goal habits. For example, I have a fallback workout or three for when I simply can't make it to the gym to train for an hour or so. Instead, I'll pick up my adjustable DBs at home and bang out this fallback workout in 10-15 minutes.
Ideal?
Meh, that's a loaded question. Ideal is context specific. Relative to the intended workout for the day? OF course it's not ideal. But relative to the scope and happenings of that particular day... it's absolutely ideal. Plus it keeps my momentum going without all the negative judgment and anxiety.3. I tend to say to myself "that's not enough" a lot. But I have a good life and a great family and I try everyday to get better. I should acknowledge that more often...
While I'm not a fan of the word "should," I agree... you should!
lol
Heck, even if you commit to 5 minutes first thing in the morning or last thing at night to writing down a 1-3 things you're proud of, happy about, or feeling gratitude for... I think it'd pay a lot of dividends to your sense of worth and wellbeing.4. I'd say successful day is a day that I managed to do a bit of everything. Be productive at work, do my workout, prepare my meals, have time with my family, have time for myself. Not easy to manage every day, but I try.
Showing up and trying is the name of the game.
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Thanks Steve.
I try to catch the negative self talk right away, and find some way to make it positive. Start to think 'Look at my flabby belly!' (while doing a plank). Stop and think, 'I had 2 pregnancies that went 42 weeks! I am taking the time to exercise, and look, I can hold it the full 70 seconds.'
I find it very hard to accept that my body has simply changed after having babies. My boobs will never be the same again. That's ok- obviously- I just wasn't mentally prepared for it.
I did 30 days in a group where I posted a positive thought every day (from a book) which did help me to reflect on things. I look at my body now and want it to be a way it may never be... I'm trying to learn to accept and love it as it is.
Awesome progress so far! Seriously... be proud.
And yeah, I think daily reflection is very important. I journal 5 minutes every single morning and 5-10 minutes every single night. Most people are surprised by this, but I've found that reflecting on a gratitude list, what I've done well, what I'd do differently, what I hope to accomplish for the day, and my goals every single day has been monumental in shaping the person that I am today.
It's one of those things that seems so inconsequential while doing it but is obviously very big in hindsight.2 -
stroutman81 wrote: »How often do you reflect on what you did well?
probably not as often as I could. more often than a lot of people though because I've had no choice but to develop pretty sharp self awareness as a result of constantly working on myself due to mental health issues.0 -
1. What made you accept the invitation or join?
Your "lean people getting leaner" post was awesome, and along with a few other MFP "guides", really changed my perspective on fitness. I want to be a part of what comes out of that!
I had been very successful losing down to a healthy weight using MFP but suddenly two years later started gaining. While supposedly not changing anything! In retrospect I would say it was/is perimenopause combined with perhaps under eating and overtraining. It didn't seem to be too much training at the time, but I believe the added stress of the hormonal changes tipped me over the edge. Since then I have spent the past four years trying to find my way, fitness wise, and have finally started making progress again (after gaining for nearly 4 years!).
2. What's your biggest challenge when it comes to your fitness?
Schedules. I am only nominally in control of my time, as my family and work get first dibs! I have two active teen boys, with lots of events to see and practices to attend. One is now driving, but the other has to be taxi-ed about, plus homework, projects, providing for their and hubby's needs, etc. the schedule is a struggle for exercise, for eating right, for sleeping, and for not getting too stressed out. Some weeks survival is the only goal.
Also, after having struggled to find my fitness path again, I still struggle with fear that I can't control my weight. Every day I have to deal with the negative thoughts that say I'm going to start gaining again, etc.
I recently started a 14:10 IF protocol, but before that, I struggled with satiety while staying on goal. It is hard to feed two growing active teen boys loads and loads of food without feeling a little deprived. But IF has mostly eliminated this challenge. I still miss breakfast psychologically, but I'm really not hungry in the mornings!
3. Why are you enough right now?
First, I will draw from a long-ago conversation with other young moms. We were sitting at the pool talking about how we envied the beautiful bodies of the teenage lifeguards when one wise woman spoke up and said, "Enough! My body is wonderful. I have two strong legs that allow me to do what I need for my family, and my husband finds them attractive! I am healthy and able to live life, etc. etc."
That conversation has stuck with me for more than ten years. So first, I will say that I am enough because I have a healthy body that provides for my family, and that my husband finds attractive.
Second, I am enough because I am getting ready to launch two beautiful young men into the world in the next couple of years. I know they will do great things! I have molded (as best I could) their hearts and characters, and I have done my best by them. And they are not technically even mine! They are adopted, and it amazes me how God (I believe in God, but whatever higher power the reader believes in) could take hubby's and my loss (not being able to conceive) and turn it into gain for two boys who would just be "part of the system" now. I am doubly blessed by them and wouldn't have it any other way! (Now before you think I am unrealistic, let me just say that there are days where I would sell you two teenage boys for cheap. . . . . !)
4. How do you define a successful day in your life?
Right now I am on summer break, so I am in "task accomplishment" mode. So a successful day is one where I get my workout in, accomplish the tasks I planned, and take a nap! Also, saving enough calories for wine is good too!
During the school year it turns into just survival!3 -
ObsidianMist wrote: »stroutman81 wrote: »How often do you reflect on what you did well?
probably not as often as I could. more often than a lot of people though because I've had no choice but to develop pretty sharp self awareness as a result of constantly working on myself due to mental health issues.
There are some pretty decent journaling apps that cue you to check in with yourself daily. Not sure if that's something that resonates with you.0 -
MaryQueenofWalking wrote: »
Hello -1. I belonged to the School of Stroutman and thought the advice to women who don't have "alot" to lose or want to get leaner was brilliant. Also, some of my friends seem to know you and joined!
I actually thought about making a group specific to lean women trying to get leaner. It didn't feed my passion quite like the concept of this group, though... so I went with this.
2. I try every day to move more and eat satisfying foods within my maintenance or weight loss goals. That said, I basically struggle to meet my goals, altough I think they are very realistic. I try to take the incremental approach that even a few less empty calories or a few more steps on any given day is a good step toward better fitness and health. I also have a need to keep my "numbers" in the right zone and that is immediately impacted by diet/exercise.
Help me understand what you struggle with in particular please?
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I figured out I don't really know how to reply to a post!
I'm in my fifties and over the last four years I've gained 9 pounds. I would like a simple fitness regime I can use to up my exercise intensity from walking 3.5 miles per hour 3x a week. I have a sedentary office job - both my sons will be at college in Sept. so I'll have more control over my evenings and food choices in the house. I'm not interested in "killing" it at the gym or starving myself with 1200 cals a day.0 -
@tigerblue1. What made you accept the invitation or join?
Your "lean people getting leaner" post was awesome, and along with a few other MFP "guides", really changed my perspective on fitness. I want to be a part of what comes out of that!
Well thanks. I always appreciate when people read my stuff more than words can describe.I had been very successful losing down to a healthy weight using MFP but suddenly two years later started gaining. While supposedly not changing anything! In retrospect I would say it was/is perimenopause combined with perhaps under eating and overtraining. It didn't seem to be too much training at the time, but I believe the added stress of the hormonal changes tipped me over the edge. Since then I have spent the past four years trying to find my way, fitness wise, and have finally started making progress again (after gaining for nearly 4 years!).
Love it. Not that you struggled, but that you opened up to the possibility to learning in the face of struggle. This tends to be a difference maker - some people retreat as their egos and identities are challenged. Others put on their thinking caps, accept the reality of the situation, and recalibrate.2. What's your biggest challenge when it comes to your fitness?
Schedules. I am only nominally in control of my time, as my family and work get first dibs! I have two active teen boys, with lots of events to see and practices to attend. One is now driving, but the other has to be taxi-ed about, plus homework, projects, providing for their and hubby's needs, etc. the schedule is a struggle for exercise, for eating right, for sleeping, and for not getting too stressed out. Some weeks survival is the only goal.
Can definitely relate to this challenge. And I know it'll only get worse as my children get older.
I find having fallback plans for workouts, where it's some abbreviated version of what I had planned, helps tremendously. I make the barrier to entry so low it's hard to not at least do my fallback workout.
I also have a dozen or so options of restaurant options that still honor my goals. I've mapped/planned them out where they fit at least my calories (though I'm not a counter I have a loose idea of what each meal contains). This way even when I'm relying on convenience food I'm still on point with the important nutrition fundamentals.Also, after having struggled to find my fitness path again, I still struggle with fear that I can't control my weight. Every day I have to deal with the negative thoughts that say I'm going to start gaining again, etc.
Why do you fear gaining weight?3. Why are you enough right now?
First, I will draw from a long-ago conversation with other young moms. We were sitting at the pool talking about how we envied the beautiful bodies of the teenage lifeguards when one wise woman spoke up and said, "Enough! My body is wonderful. I have two strong legs that allow me to do what I need for my family, and my husband finds them attractive! I am healthy and able to live life, etc. etc."
That conversation has stuck with me for more than ten years. So first, I will say that I am enough because I have a healthy body that provides for my family, and that my husband finds attractive.
Damn straight. Love insightful people like this.Second, I am enough because I am getting ready to launch two beautiful young men into the world in the next couple of years. I know they will do great things! I have molded (as best I could) their hearts and characters, and I have done my best by them. And they are not technically even mine! They are adopted, and it amazes me how God (I believe in God, but whatever higher power the reader believes in) could take hubby's and my loss (not being able to conceive) and turn it into gain for two boys who would just be "part of the system" now. I am doubly blessed by them and wouldn't have it any other way! (Now before you think I am unrealistic, let me just say that there are days where I would sell you two teenage boys for cheap. . . . . !)
Totally awesome. No other words.
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