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IN!
To continue to learn, and to share what (comparatively little) I know. Knowledge is both empowering and motivational. Also to enjoy the company of other positive, fitness-oriented people.stroutman81 wrote: »1. What made you accept the invitation or join?
Consistency! Also, I'm not a spring chicken anymore (turn 54 this year), so I have to be more aware of things like intensity and recovery. My body has a hard time convincing my brain it's not 21 years old anymore.stroutman81 wrote: »2. What's your biggest challenge when it comes to your fitness?
I'm "enough" because overall I'm very happy with my life and I feel blessed in every possible way. There's always room for improvement in the physical sense, but in all other aspects of my life I'm very satisfied.stroutman81 wrote: »3. Why are you enough right now?
Any day above ground is a successful day!stroutman81 wrote: »4. How do you define a successful day in your life?
Seriously though, I guess a "successful day" is any day that I enjoy life, treat the people around me well, learn something new and do something positive for my health/fitness.
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Hi everyone,
1. What made you accept the invitation or join?
I love everything Steve has to say. Lot of respect, always love to learn.
2. What's your biggest challenge when it comes to your fitness?
Argh, being so exhausted all the time. I am a stay at home mum to a 2.5 year old and 10 month old, living in Turkey (I'm Australian), so not a lot of support. The little one woke up literally 5-6 times a night for 9 months. Brutal. It's so hard to accept I am just not able to work out like I did before kids, and that there are some permanent changes to my body. I'm very hard on myself, I get told that a lot and I know it's true.
3. Why are you enough right now?
I do my best to be a good example to the kids. I have been doing Bikini body mommy work outs for the last 6 months or so, mostly 6 days a week. I hit 10000 steps most days. When I do have the energy I aim to run 3 times a week, but that hasn't been consistent for a while. I eat pretty well and prepare most meals from scratch. I'm doing a pretty good job under the circumstances.
4. How do you define a successful day in your life?
Tough one. A day that goes smoothly with meals planned and prepped (need a lot of work on this area... End up finishing the kids meals or waiting too long to eat because I'm flapping about trying to prepare for them). Hitting my steps. Doing my workout. Not losing my temper with the kids. Not randomly baking and eating something for no reason. Being aware of what I'm eating and making conscious decisions. Actually, I feel best on days I'm able to do a little run. I feel great.0 -
1. What made you accept the invitation or join?
- well I wasn't invited, I'm simply crashing the party... haha. Worked directly with Steve for a year and it was a very, very impactful year for me. In fact, I'm finding things he said to me 12, 8, 6 mos ago are finally starting to manifest themselves in my life. I'm stubborn and thick headed and sometimes it just takes that long. Just ask my wife....
2. What's your biggest challenge when it comes to your fitness?
- injuries. Mentally I'm pretty focused on fitness because I've come to really enjoy it. But both of my shoulders are now pretty shredded and my back is a bit of a disaster. So I have to do a lot of "work arounds", but I get it done. I just have to constantly be smart enough to know when to make modifications and to listen to what my old joints are trying to tell me.
3. Why are you enough right now?
- super question. Because, in many ways thanks to Steve, I've been able to back away from my "machine mentality" and start to enjoy my life as a "normal" person instead of letting obsessiveness and fixation and fear cause massive anxiety. It's just food. I am what I am. Sure I could be a few pounds lighter or have a bit less body fat or be able to lift more weight, but right now I'm really learning to accept myself for who I am, who I was, who I'm not and for what I can be. I have a much clearer vision of what "enough" is right now. That vision looks different than it did a year ago but that's ok because it's also attainable.
4. How do you define a successful day in your life?
- any day I've set a good example for my kids or been of value to my wife is a successful day2 -
3. Why are you enough right now?
- super question. Because, in many ways thanks to Steve, I've been able to back away from my "machine mentality" and start to enjoy my life as a "normal" person instead of letting obsessiveness and fixation and fear cause massive anxiety. It's just food. I am what I am. Sure I could be a few pounds lighter or have a bit less body fat or be able to lift more weight, but right now I'm really learning to accept myself for who I am, who I was, who I'm not and for what I can be. I have a much clearer vision of what "enough" is right now. That vision looks different than it did a year ago but that's ok because it's also attainable.
I am printing this and sticking it at my desk... Love this!
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1. I've been following your "Relatively light people trying to get leaner" thread for a while and saw the link you posted. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, and the group name and purpose matches my goals, so I joined.
Awesome! Glad you did. And yeah, that thread sort of took on a life of it's own over the years. It was fun to participate in.2. Though I do set check points, I tend to be a little rigid with my workout schedule. I need more methods of flexibility for training. My greatest challenge, however, is that I have "Shiny Object Syndrome." While I'm very good at maintaining and improving physical flexibility and cardiovascular health, I'm not very consistent with any strength training program. All programs seem so amazing. I always find new videos and programs that look interesting, and I hop from one program to the next. Since May this year, I've started a dumbbell M/W/F total body routine, and I'm determined to stick this one out. It's been a bit over a month now, and I honestly feel like I'll maintain consistency now, but I have to fight the urge to try out other lifting programs I find online.
Why do you think you like to jump from program to program?
Boredom?
Or do you think you feel as though you're missing out on something?3. I am enough because I always have the capacity to grow. No matter where I am in life, I am capable of improving myself every day, and that means I am enough.
Hell.Yes.4. Oh boy. Hmmmm..... I guess success for me is not regressing and/or making progress in at least one area of life.
I think that your #4 is a bit contradictory of your #3. I don't buy that you define success as maintenance, which is how I translate "not regressing." But I'll buy that you always like to be making some progress in some form or fashion. That I can live with. 1 -
To continue to learn, and to share what (comparatively little) I know. Knowledge is both empowering and motivational. Also to enjoy the company of other positive, fitness-oriented people.
Right on! Glad to have you here.Consistency! Also, I'm not a spring chicken anymore (turn 54 this year), so I have to be more aware of things like intensity and recovery. My body has a hard time convincing my brain it's not 21 years old anymore.
What do you find tripping up your consistency most of the time?I'm "enough" because overall I'm very happy with my life and I feel blessed in every possible way. There's always room for improvement in the physical sense, but in all other aspects of my life I'm very satisfied.
That's really great! I can relate. I'm very content with who and where I am. But. I lust growth. I feed off of it. It's not Hitler-esque demands I put on myself. They're warm and inviting. I love challenging myself, even when I fail. I love learning and growing into more and more.Any day above ground is a successful day! Seriously though, I guess a "successful day" is any day that I enjoy life, treat the people around me well, learn something new and do something positive for my health/fitness.
High five!
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I love everything Steve has to say. Lot of respect, always love to learn.
Aww shucks.
Thanks!Argh, being so exhausted all the time. I am a stay at home mum to a 2.5 year old and 10 month old, living in Turkey (I'm Australian), so not a lot of support. The little one woke up literally 5-6 times a night for 9 months. Brutal. It's so hard to accept I am just not able to work out like I did before kids, and that there are some permanent changes to my body. I'm very hard on myself, I get told that a lot and I know it's true.
Yep, *kitten* definitely changes when you have kids.... on all levels. And when you don't have a lot of support to help out, it can be so damn taxing. I'm guessing the reality is that mommy-ing is prioritized over fitness... as it should be. But the ingrained expectations you hold over yourself are still positioned as if fitness was prioritized over everything else.
Agree? Disagree?
If you agree... what expectations wind up causing the chain of events that leads to you beating yourself up?I do my best to be a good example to the kids. I have been doing Bikini body mommy work outs for the last 6 months or so, mostly 6 days a week. I hit 10000 steps most days. When I do have the energy I aim to run 3 times a week, but that hasn't been consistent for a while. I eat pretty well and prepare most meals from scratch. I'm doing a pretty good job under the circumstances.
More than most mommies!Tough one. A day that goes smoothly with meals planned and prepped (need a lot of work on this area... End up finishing the kids meals or waiting too long to eat because I'm flapping about trying to prepare for them). Hitting my steps. Doing my workout. Not losing my temper with the kids. Not randomly baking and eating something for no reason. Being aware of what I'm eating and making conscious decisions. Actually, I feel best on days I'm able to do a little run. I feel great.
That stream of consciousness begs the question...
"Do you talk to yourself the same way that you would your sibling or your best friend if they were in your exact shoes?"
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stroutman81 wrote: »
In all honesty, it's just occasionally not having the motivation to do what it takes to get a workout in (like get out of bed early, lol!) when other things get in the way. I'm highly driven when the motivation is strong, but I sometimes allow myself to get a little laissez-faire about my workouts.stroutman81 wrote: »I'm "enough" because overall I'm very happy with my life and I feel blessed in every possible way. There's always room for improvement in the physical sense, but in all other aspects of my life I'm very satisfied.
That's really great! I can relate. I'm very content with who and where I am. But. I lust growth. I feed off of it. It's not Hitler-esque demands I put on myself. They're warm and inviting. I love challenging myself, even when I fail. I love learning and growing into more and more.
This definitely resonates with me, as I love learning, growing, challenging myself. I get bored easily and am constantly seeking out new challenges. Failure, if taken in the proper perspective, is as much a growing and learning experience as success is.
On a side note, Steve - thanks for starting this group. I was a member of your previous MFP group and also look forward to your newsletters. You impart good, solid information and present it in a very positive, motivating way. Thanks for giving so selflessly to help others toward their goals.
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stroutman81 wrote: »
That stream of consciousness begs the question...
"Do you talk to yourself the same way that you would your sibling or your best friend if they were in your exact shoes?"
Had to interject on this one because it brought up a relevant anecdote I often think back to: Once I was golfing with two friends. One of them was an "Eeyore" type personality, and during the entire round he was berating himself for his poor play. Nothing but negative talk. The other friend, who was sort of a teacher/mentor, quietly asked me "If you had a caddy who was talking to you like that while you were golfing, wouldn't you fire him? Constantly telling you how badly you're playing, you're going to miss that putt anyway, you're going to hit this shot into the water, you don't even know how to play golf?". I said sure I would, and he replied "Well, out here you're your own caddy - so if you wouldn't let a caddy talk to you like that, you shouldn't talk to yourself like that either."
In life, we're our own "caddy". How we talk to ourselves, how we see ourselves, plays a large part in how we function and perform in everyday life. A good caddy instills confidence in his player, props him up when he's faltering and hands him a towel when he needs it. Be a good "caddy" for yourself.5 -
stroutman81 wrote: »1. I've been following your "Relatively light people trying to get leaner" thread for a while and saw the link you posted. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, and the group name and purpose matches my goals, so I joined.
Awesome! Glad you did. And yeah, that thread sort of took on a life of it's own over the years. It was fun to participate in.2. Though I do set check points, I tend to be a little rigid with my workout schedule. I need more methods of flexibility for training. My greatest challenge, however, is that I have "Shiny Object Syndrome." While I'm very good at maintaining and improving physical flexibility and cardiovascular health, I'm not very consistent with any strength training program. All programs seem so amazing. I always find new videos and programs that look interesting, and I hop from one program to the next. Since May this year, I've started a dumbbell M/W/F total body routine, and I'm determined to stick this one out. It's been a bit over a month now, and I honestly feel like I'll maintain consistency now, but I have to fight the urge to try out other lifting programs I find online.
Why do you think you like to jump from program to program?
Boredom?
Or do you think you feel as though you're missing out on something?3. I am enough because I always have the capacity to grow. No matter where I am in life, I am capable of improving myself every day, and that means I am enough.
Hell.Yes.4. Oh boy. Hmmmm..... I guess success for me is not regressing and/or making progress in at least one area of life.
I think that your #4 is a bit contradictory of your #3. I don't buy that you define success as maintenance, which is how I translate "not regressing." But I'll buy that you always like to be making some progress in some form or fashion. That I can live with.
2. Boredom is a factor, but it's moreso that I feel like I'm missing out on something. I'm limited to home workouts and adjustable dumbbells, and my routine consists of dumbbell squats, dead-lifts, calf raises, inclined press, shoulder press, one arm dumbbell rows, alternate dumbbell curls, lunges, overhead dumbbell extensions, and I finish off with ab work, so I think I am hitting all areas of the body, but then I'll see a routine that has less or more sets and/or other moves, and I start to wonder if those moves and numbers would be better. However, I know that hopping from one program to another won't let me test to see what works for me.
4. Haha. I guess you're right.0 -
- well I wasn't invited, I'm simply crashing the party... haha.
I only got about 5% done my friends list. I wish there was a way to invite all friends at once. Can anyone learn me on this?
[quote}Worked directly with Steve for a year and it was a very, very impactful year for me. In fact, I'm finding things he said to me 12, 8, 6 mos ago are finally starting to manifest themselves in my life. I'm stubborn and thick headed and sometimes it just takes that long. Just ask my wife.... [/quote]
LOL!
Definitely enjoyed the hell out of working with you. One of the hardest working and funniest clients I've dealt with.
Glad you're here.2. What's your biggest challenge when it comes to your fitness?
- injuries. Mentally I'm pretty focused on fitness because I've come to really enjoy it. But both of my shoulders are now pretty shredded and my back is a bit of a disaster. So I have to do a lot of "work arounds", but I get it done. I just have to constantly be smart enough to know when to make modifications and to listen to what my old joints are trying to tell me.
Seems to be a recurring theme in this thread!
But yeah, most things can be trained around. Takes some ego checking... but still... something is better than nothing.3. Why are you enough right now?
- super question. Because, in many ways thanks to Steve, I've been able to back away from my "machine mentality" and start to enjoy my life as a "normal" person instead of letting obsessiveness and fixation and fear cause massive anxiety. It's just food. I am what I am. Sure I could be a few pounds lighter or have a bit less body fat or be able to lift more weight, but right now I'm really learning to accept myself for who I am, who I was, who I'm not and for what I can be. I have a much clearer vision of what "enough" is right now. That vision looks different than it did a year ago but that's ok because it's also attainable.
Love this:
"I'm really learning to accept myself for who I am, who I was, who I'm not and for what I can be."
People have a hard time separating the concepts of acceptance and settling. They are definitely NOT one in the same.
I just explained it in more words or less to one of my clients like this...
There are fixed mindsets and there are growth mindsets. Most people in this fitness stuff are rocking fixed mindsets. They are what they are and that's that. In the fixed mindset, I understand how acceptance feels like settling. In a growth mindset, though... where skills and qualities are merely starting points to build upon... acceptance is more about calmly seeing the lay of the land so you know how to navigate your next step forward into becoming.
I think this is such a powerful concept.4. How do you define a successful day in your life?
- any day I've set a good example for my kids or been of value to my wife is a successful day
High five.
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In all honesty, it's just occasionally not having the motivation to do what it takes to get a workout in (like get out of bed early, lol!) when other things get in the way. I'm highly driven when the motivation is strong, but I sometimes allow myself to get a little laissez-faire about my workouts.
Happens to the best of us.
What helps me is having a fallback plan. There are days where I just don't have it. I've learned that I feel better about myself and my path if I at least do something on these days. Even if it's a handful of rounds of a barbell complex... where I'm in and out in 15 minutes... I still feel successful. I kept the momentum going.
Food for thought.This definitely resonates with me, as I love learning, growing, challenging myself. I get bored easily and am constantly seeking out new challenges. Failure, if taken in the proper perspective, is as much a growing and learning experience as success is.
Precisely!On a side note, Steve - thanks for starting this group. I was a member of your previous MFP group and also look forward to your newsletters. You impart good, solid information and present it in a very positive, motivating way. Thanks for giving so selflessly to help others toward their goals.
Don't mention it. I get as much out of it as anyone else. And this isn't much of a group. Yet. But I have faith it'll grow. If you encounter anyone who can use this sort of community... definitely refer them.
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stroutman81 wrote: »
That stream of consciousness begs the question...
"Do you talk to yourself the same way that you would your sibling or your best friend if they were in your exact shoes?"
Had to interject on this one because it brought up a relevant anecdote I often think back to: Once I was golfing with two friends. One of them was an "Eeyore" type personality, and during the entire round he was berating himself for his poor play. Nothing but negative talk. The other friend, who was sort of a teacher/mentor, quietly asked me "If you had a caddy who was talking to you like that while you were golfing, wouldn't you fire him? Constantly telling you how badly you're playing, you're going to miss that putt anyway, you're going to hit this shot into the water, you don't even know how to play golf?". I said sure I would, and he replied "Well, out here you're your own caddy - so if you wouldn't let a caddy talk to you like that, you shouldn't talk to yourself like that either."
In life, we're our own "caddy". How we talk to ourselves, how we see ourselves, plays a large part in how we function and perform in everyday life. A good caddy instills confidence in his player, props him up when he's faltering and hands him a towel when he needs it. Be a good "caddy" for yourself.
This x 1000
Very wise words.0 -
Hi!
1. What made you accept the invitation or join?
I happened upon the group when I was browsing one of the forums, loved the message and goals, and saw a couple of my MFPs on the member list. It fits with what I want to do in my life, and I'm always looking to learn more.
2. What's your biggest challenge when it comes to your fitness?
Food. Oh how I love food. I like to eat, and overeat. I can put away an obscene amount of food. And once I start eating for the day, it seems like I'm constantly eating something. Calorie restriction rarely goes well for me. And my maintenance is lower than I'd like it to be thanks to an uncontrolled thyroid problem. I'm trying the warrior diet right now. It's worked very well the last couple of days. Tons of energy, great workouts, not hungry, and I stuff myself at dinner time.
3. Why are you enough right now?
The Buddhist in me says I'm enough because I am. I'm plenty critical of myself, but this is what I strive to come back to.
4. How do you define a successful day in your life?
I want to go to bed tired. Not exhausted or drained. But I want to feel in my body that I've really done something that day. Whether that's a tough workout, an all day active day, or chasing my kid around outside. I want to feel like I nourished myself and my family with good food. I want to laugh, and make my son laugh. I want to make someone else's day brighter, even if it's just by a little.1 -
stroutman81 wrote: »
1. What made you accept the invitation or join?
2. What's your biggest challenge when it comes to your fitness?
3. Why are you enough right now?
4. How do you define a successful day in your life?
1. I am quite new to this fitness gig and I am very hesitant to post questions or ask for advice for the fear of coming off too dumb. Yours was the first thread I ever posted in and I received solid answers and I love your positive look and attitude. So when I saw this group I jumped right in to learn and grow. Yeah,in short, I gatecrashed!
2. Injuries. Its like I turned 40 and my body was like yeah you're old now. I don't lack the motivation but injuries keep derailing me and to be very frank they sometimes make me wish I had'nt started exercising in earnest.
3. This is something that I struggle with massively. I'll get back to you when I figure it out.
4. Any day where I feel I've done justice to the varying roles I play to my family ~ a loving wife, a good mother and above all when I'm good to myself!1 -
stroutman81 wrote: »I love everything Steve has to say. Lot of respect, always love to learn.
Aww shucks.
Thanks!Argh, being so exhausted all the time. I am a stay at home mum to a 2.5 year old and 10 month old, living in Turkey (I'm Australian), so not a lot of support. The little one woke up literally 5-6 times a night for 9 months. Brutal. It's so hard to accept I am just not able to work out like I did before kids, and that there are some permanent changes to my body. I'm very hard on myself, I get told that a lot and I know it's true.
Yep, *kitten* definitely changes when you have kids.... on all levels. And when you don't have a lot of support to help out, it can be so damn taxing. I'm guessing the reality is that mommy-ing is prioritized over fitness... as it should be. But the ingrained expectations you hold over yourself are still positioned as if fitness was prioritized over everything else.
Agree? Disagree?
If you agree... what expectations wind up causing the chain of events that leads to you beating yourself up?
I haven't written on a mfp forum for years, trying to figure out how to reply.
I agree. The chain of events... I don't know, I've always been very negative towards myself, possibly as that's what my Mum was like. When given a compliment, I would always respond with something negative, like if it were losing the weight after pregnancy I'd say 'oh no, I am nowhere near where I used to be', it's just a bad habit. As an aside- I studied Japanese for years and lived there a while, part of that culture is to be very humble and modest. I found that so easy to do people used to say I was like a real Japanese. I've been consciously trying to stop the negative self talk, and focus on positives. Instead of looking at my loose skin, I'm trying to look at how I'm finally looking stronger and leaner again with the workouts. It doesn't come naturally and takes a lot of work. My husband also isn't one for compliments, he thinks I should already 'know' it.I do my best to be a good example to the kids. I have been doing Bikini body mommy work outs for the last 6 months or so, mostly 6 days a week. I hit 10000 steps most days. When I do have the energy I aim to run 3 times a week, but that hasn't been consistent for a while. I eat pretty well and prepare most meals from scratch. I'm doing a pretty good job under the circumstances.
More than most mommies!
Thanks. Instead of thinking it's 'not enough', I'm trying to think of myself as just adapting a moderate, healthy lifestyle, rather than that intensity of training before having kids.Tough one. A day that goes smoothly with meals planned and prepped (need a lot of work on this area... End up finishing the kids meals or waiting too long to eat because I'm flapping about trying to prepare for them). Hitting my steps. Doing my workout. Not losing my temper with the kids. Not randomly baking and eating something for no reason. Being aware of what I'm eating and making conscious decisions. Actually, I feel best on days I'm able to do a little run. I feel great.
That stream of consciousness begs the question...
"Do you talk to yourself the same way that you would your sibling or your best friend if they were in your exact shoes?"
I'm sure you can guess the answer. In a mommy group I'm in I see people that are clearly struggling with weight more than ı am, and the first thing I do is say something positive, but when it comes to myself, I'm horrible. I have been making an effort, but as I said above, it doesn't come naturally, so is a work in progress to be kind to myself.
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Noelani1503 wrote: »Hi!
1. What made you accept the invitation or join?
I happened upon the group when I was browsing one of the forums, loved the message and goals, and saw a couple of my MFPs on the member list. It fits with what I want to do in my life, and I'm always looking to learn more.
@Noelani1503
Awesome, well welcome aboard.2. What's your biggest challenge when it comes to your fitness?
Food. Oh how I love food. I like to eat, and overeat. I can put away an obscene amount of food. And once I start eating for the day, it seems like I'm constantly eating something. Calorie restriction rarely goes well for me. And my maintenance is lower than I'd like it to be thanks to an uncontrolled thyroid problem. I'm trying the warrior diet right now. It's worked very well the last couple of days. Tons of energy, great workouts, not hungry, and I stuff myself at dinner time.
What do you think overeating provides you? Put differently, why do you think you keep doing it?3. Why are you enough right now?
The Buddhist in me says I'm enough because I am. I'm plenty critical of myself, but this is what I strive to come back to.
Well that's what this place is all about. You're enough and you want more. And that's ok!4. How do you define a successful day in your life?
I want to go to bed tired. Not exhausted or drained. But I want to feel in my body that I've really done something that day. Whether that's a tough workout, an all day active day, or chasing my kid around outside. I want to feel like I nourished myself and my family with good food. I want to laugh, and make my son laugh. I want to make someone else's day brighter, even if it's just by a little.
Love this.0 -
sureitstime wrote: »1. I am quite new to this fitness gig and I am very hesitant to post questions or ask for advice for the fear of coming off too dumb. Yours was the first thread I ever posted in and I received solid answers and I love your positive look and attitude. So when I saw this group I jumped right in to learn and grow. Yeah,in short, I gatecrashed!
@sureitstime
Awesome! Glad you're here and DEFINITELY ask questions. Please. We need some life injected into this community and I want learning through Q&A to be one of the cornerstones of this community. When you have questions, start new threads and ask. There are no dumb questions. We all share the common mission of getting better than we were yesterday... one small lesson at a time.3. Injuries. Its like I turned 40 and my body was like yeah you're old now. I don't lack the motivation but injuries keep derailing me and to be very frank they sometimes make me wish I had'nt started exercising in earnest.
What forms of exercise tend to injure you?3. This is something that I struggle with massively. I'll get back to you when I figure it out.
I'd start by reflecting on what you're proud about in your life. And what you feel you do well. And what others whom you care about derive from having you in their life.4. Any day where I feel I've done justice to the varying roles I play to my family ~ a loving wife, a good mother and above all when I'm good to myself!
Something tells me at least part of the reason you're enough right now is embedded in this answer.
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I'm sure you can guess the answer. In a mommy group I'm in I see people that are clearly struggling with weight more than ı am, and the first thing I do is say something positive, but when it comes to myself, I'm horrible. I have been making an effort, but as I said above, it doesn't come naturally, so is a work in progress to be kind to myself.
@rachmaree
It's okay that it doesn't come naturally. In fact, it's natural for most of us to play the role of "harsh critic" when it comes to our own lives. Great job, though, in realizing this and striving to change it. That's what this community is all about. Acknowledging and issue and putting in the work to improve it.
You say that you've been making an effort. Any particular strategy you're employing? Or sort of just trying to be more cognizant of it in general?
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