Problems, hardships, and issues.
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That is a dilemma you have, Ranger & Seminole! On the one hand, you have some incredibly sweet, thoughtful men in your lives - I know a lot of women who'd love to have their men think of them like that! But on the other hand, they are being incredibly dense as well!
Instead of keeping the eggs in the cabinet, try putting them in the back of the freezer. Out of sight out of mind
Or take the extras to work. And then it sounds like you may have to have a firm talk with him, about how you need his support, and that while you greatly appreciate his thinking of you when he sees the treats, that he's sabotaging you in something that you desperately want to succeed in. And then perhaps suggest some healthier, less damaging snacks he could bring you instead? 2 -
SeminoleGirl78 wrote: »Was just wondering if anyone struggles with emotional eating. On a normal basis I can stick with a calorie range and am satisfied with what I eat, not hungry or anything. When I get really down or stressed, I turn to food and become an endless pit. Where on a normal day, 2 slices of pizza would be filling but when I'm emotionally eating, I could consume a large pizza, a burger, fries, ice cream and still keep going.
The main way I emotionally eat is when I'm angry or stressed because of work conflicts...Dang! I can decimate a pizza, or a full bag of pizza rolls, or a bucket of fried chicken...OMG. When I'm pissed I let the monster out of the cage and eat like bear getting ready for winter.
I don't do this as much anymore. I do try to go to the gym or journal or meditate. However, it is hard to not run to food to make myself feel calm. Really. Freaking. Hard. 1 -
I am not sure with which type of eating (emotional, convenience, bored, hangry) I've been struggling!!! My friend loves to go out to lunch - we tease her that it should be her job! Unfortunately, I can't go out to lunch with her that often because the menus where we go (we live in a very small town) are very limited and their "off limit" foods are really, really, really good. Usually I can go, eat half, get a side salad instead of fries and bring home what's left. But sometimes, I just want to eat the entire 8" prime rib steak sandwich with hand cut fries - and yesterday I did
But that triggered a downward spiral the rest of the day. All of the sudden, that bag of chips of which I can usually just eat a 1 oz portion as a snack became my dinner, and that 1 piece of leftover pizza I was saving for the following day's lunch - became a evening snack. Now, today I am back on track, but I ate 2+ days worth of calories yesterday. ANY ADVICE?? 0 -
omgstfualready wrote: »SeminoleGirl78 wrote: »My issue is sleeping, I average 2 or 3 hours per night.
This is not helping with my weight loss at all. I've tried teas, over the counter stuff, exercising and nothing seems to help. Talked to the doctor once but wont prescribe anything. I have a desk job so I eat throughout the day to help stay awake. I just don't know what else to try.
I have a ton of issues sleeping. Mine is due to stress and not being able to get my mind to stop racing. I found this guy on youtube not terribly long ago and it has helped me tremendously. You don't know me but I'm not a hippy/dippy therapy/hypnosis person, but I was desperate and it helped me so much.
He has a number of sessions but I've been using the sleep and letting go I've never heard the entire thing, I'm able to sleep pretty fast now when I have it on. If I'm super wound up I put it on a loop so when I wake up during the night I can go back to sleep pretty quickly again. I hope it helps if you decide to try it. I have no affiliation with this guy at all. Good luck
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC85kX_lkwSOISRCnqMvI_kA
Thank you so much. I'll check it out, I really appreciate it1 -
My husband is an enabler. He keeps me fat. Ok, not totally true. I lack proper self control. So does he. I know how to say no but I just can't sometimes.0
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This is going to be a rant. Let me preface this by saying: I am normally an extremely level-headed person, to the point where people have told me most of my adult life that I am a "robot." It takes a LOT to push my buttons to where I actually begin to get upset.
My best friend lives 3 hours away, in my hometown, but we talk every day via iMessage or skype. The dynamic between us has somewhat changed because I had always been the heavier one and now its flipped and she is now at the weight I was at my heaviest when I started my journey. But I've supported, cheered her on and encouraged her at every turn. I've been there for every break-up and every emotional breakdown.
She knows about my lifestyle choice to eat Keto and has seemed supportive thus far. In fact, when she saw me for the first time in a while, when I had at that point lost ~55lbs, she asked me to help her start Keto, which I was more than happy to help her get started. Anyway, fast forward to earlier this evening when I mentioned doing Intermittent Fasting. Her immediate reaction was to conclude that IF was "super dangerous for your body" and that I was being "unhealthy because my brain needs fuel." I tried to explain to her that I am not starving myself. I am still meeting my caloric and macro goals. Intermittent Fasting isn't about starving yourself, its not even wholly about how much you eat (unless you're aiming for weightloss of course) but rather, IF is about WHEN you eat. So I tried my best to explain the science behind it, I tried to explain that I am the healthiest I have been in years, I explained that eating Keto and doing occasional IF works for managing my insulin resistance and why, I told her my most recent bloodwork showed everything was leaps and bounds improved and all tested normal (when I was on the brink of diabetes before)... Her response to everything was that she is a nurse and she knows "how we need to nourish our bodies."
I appreciate that she may be speaking from a place of concern and love (albeit coupled with a heap of ignorance) but its so frustrating to have someone completely write off and admonish a lifestyle choice that is working for me and is sustainable (because IF isn't something you HAVE to do every. single. day. forever). I love and respect my best friend, I do, I just wish she would respect the work I've put into learning and studying the choices I make. I never make decisions regarding my health on a whim. I am not sitting at my computer, googling "how to lose weight as fast as possible." I am a total and utter nerd, I am constantly eating up knowledge about the WOE that I've completely fallen in love with. I feel AMAZING.
Except now I'm sad, like really sad... that someone I've supported through thick and thin (literally and figuratively) is so harshly judging what I'm doing without taking the time to understand what I'm doing.0 -
... Her response to everything was that she is a nurse and she knows "how we need to nourish our bodies."
One of my two best friends is a classically trained nutritionist. And I can tell you that when a person has gone through graduate school the way they think afterward is rarely changed...I won't speak for all people, just in my experience that my friend has had a very hard time getting past what she was taught by the medical/academic community as gospel. And anyone who says anything that doesn't line up with her core taught "laws" is hurting themselves.
all that to say this. I have learned that it is all in how I say things to that friend. If I were to discuss IF with her, I wouldn't use the term fasting I would say I was timing my meals for my blood sugar and when I feel most hungry.1 -
Also I am sorry that you feel let down by your friend. >>>>HUG<<<<1
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I'm wondering if she unintentionally lashed out b/c she seemed to finally get things on track for herself and if she's using you as a role model (compliments to you!) then now she has more changes to keep doing that and that's scary.
Plus I agree, when people are indoctrinated with beliefs they are hard to overcome. I don't do IF and I haven't seen anything that would make me think that I would be willing to live that lifestyle. That's me, I don't speak out against it or for anything else. Hey, remember when Pluto was a planet.....people are still denying that. Science marches on whether you are on board with it or not, it doesn't care if you believe in it, it doesn't make it less true.
But, good for you for having a safe place to vent and not letting a blip in an otherwise strong relationship derail you.
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Isn't it weird how dynamics change with weight? My mom went from supportive to really bitter about my efforts when I reached the 10 pound mark. She's been blasting me to lose weight for years, and now that I'm trying it, she tries to sabatoge me. I think she likes that I've been stuck at the exact same weight for over a week now. (214-214.2)
I've never heard that IF is bad for you before. It's not like you're waiting until the sun goes down to eat. It sucks that she shut it down so quickly
if she really knew how to nourish her body though, would she be where you started? I'm only asking because the reason I'm personally heavy in the first place is because I had absolutely no clue. 1 -
anna, she thinks she is supporting you by trying to stop you from self harm.
Focus on the facts. Give her some well considered material to read,
and promise to thoroughly study any source she gives to you.
This video is one of the first pieces I saw on IF, the BBC do a good job in objectively presenting the facts/case
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xvdbtt_eat-fast-live-longer-hd_shortfilms#.UOOjXKz47XS
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I, of course, will pop in with political view of this situation. When one person is the heavier, the smaller one has certain privileges. Like being an authority or is given deference because they are "the more ideal". A shift in power or position is often (even if only subconsciously) unwelcome. If the roles have flipped It's possible that in searching for the new equilibrium your friend is trying to find an area of superiority and authority over you. It would very conveniently negate your hard work if you did it "at the expense of bbq your health". People jockey for position and compete in all kinds of ways, and this includes intimate relationships. I'm not saying this is happening, but consider the possibility that some of these things could be in play. If you think that's possible, (and you want to keep the relationship), maybe imagine ways you could each maintain your status and reduce competition. However, also consider that some people find friends, often subconsciously, that they don't have to intellectually consider as equals to bolster their own self esteem. Maybe it's just not a good fit for anyone anymore and this is just the beginning.
Best of luck to you with whatever you do and whatever comes. In any event it's got to be stressful and hurtful. Chin up and keep doing what is best for you.2 -
Thank you everyone for your insight and thoughts, I appreciate it. Yesterday did not go very well either as there was clearly a "cold shoulder" thing happening between us. I really don't like confrontation so I was the one to break the silence and ended up apologizing for "coming off as too defensive." She has yet to apologize to me because shes very stubborn and truly believes she's done nothing wrong. The thing about it is, I wanted to just be adults and move on from it. Agree to disagree I guess. I value our friendship a lot, I just am really uncomfortable with the power struggle that seems to be happening now. I don't understand it. I'm going to say something here that may seem cynical but I assure you its just a generalization- why is it that women often compete with each other? Why can we not support and uplift one another? Its so disappointing because I have never ever felt competitive with her and yet here we are... I guess this is why I don't have many friends. I do not understand people sometimes.0
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I don't know why we have to compete with eachother, but it's not just women. YouTube has a whole fitness section and a lot of the big (as in sub count) people in that group have videos talking about how their weight loss has made making friends easier, but at the cost of some of their old friends. I know Obesetobeast mentioned how he lost friends because he was no longer the funny fat self deprecating friendzone dude. (He was over 300 pounds and his high school nickname was cupcake. He mentioned having a different persona with people who called him cupcake that he lost over time.) Self-confidence will scare some people away.
If you feel like it may be hurting your friendship, maybe just not talk about your health life with her. I'd personally find that hard because it's so fun to talk about your success, but part of why I try to participate in the MFP community is because my friends don't like to hear about it for some reason ^^"
I'm sorry there's tension between you guys about the matter. I hope it works ou for you
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@anna4anna (I want to preface this with an explanation: in person, the way I talk is somewhat less abrasive. I know you can't hear my tone of voice or hear sarcasm, and I don't want you to think I am horrible! However, I am a high drive, high energy, aggressive woman. What I say may be super unhelpful to you if: your personality favors maintaining relationships above all else or if you are deeply uncomfortable with confrontation, If you are the peacemaker, the one who avoids uncomfortable conversations. These are not bad qualities, but they are not my qualities. So what I am saying may sound really bad to you. But just in case it is helpful here is my take. A super cold take.)
You don't have to decide today. Get back to being friendly with her and avoid the subject. It can just be her problem. Make other friends who share your values and who have enough going on in their life that they don't participate in this type of bs. Nurture those relationships and slowly (or quickly!) remove yourself from her orbit. You will then have other, better friends in place when you finally feel able to change the relationship (if that's what you think is necessary). Regarding competition. It is normal and occurs everywhere. As an overweight woman you have likely not been seen as a competitive equal by the men in your life. If your female friends are few or of different ages, you might have avoided some of the first hand competition. Now you're aware of it, you can see it when it's in play. As you lose weight and things change internally for you, this subject might be coming up more. The best news, I think, is that you have an opportunity to meet some awesome women who don't participate in this crap! Think of the support and love you will be receiving from some wonderful and respectful peers! This problem is a reflection of her poor self esteem and her own issues. I say stay away from her like she's contagious.
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My biggest problem is I don't understand health and nutrition (thankfully my dr is referring me to a nutritionist). I log all my foods and drinks and make sure I exercise daily (try to burn at least 1/2 of what I eat). I try to get 10,000 steps in a day (thankfully I have my Fitbit to help keep track). I don't understand good carbs vs bad carbs. Which meats are good vs what meats aren't. I guess I will learn that as time goes by. My other biggest problem is water. I hate water! But i drink 150ozs of water a day (1/2 my weight in ounces, per my dr). I force myself to drink it even if I don't want to. I notice i drink more when I'm exercising. My other weakness is Diet Coke! I love Diet Coke. I was drinking 2 2 liter bottles a day (yes that is correct, 2 2 liter bottles a day!!!)! I kicked that habit this week (when I decided to get back on my weight loss journey again). I only give myself 1 12oz per day (maybe 2 if I'm having a sluggish day, but I double my water and take in an additional 48 ozs if I have 2 servings). First day alone (Monday to Tuesday) I dropped 10lbs just from kicking out soda. I also have trouble eating my calories (2,000). I struggle to get to 1,200. Today is my birthday and I know the kids want to have cake and ice cream and believe me, I want it too. But I think this year I have to avoid it because I don't think I'm strong enough to say no (even after 1 piece). I'm only on day 4 of weight loss journey. 1 day at a time. I know nothing is going to magically happen overnight and I have to keep working at it. I know that as time goes by I will figure out what works for my body and what doesn't. I was going to only step on the scale Monday mornings, but I found myself stepping on it every morning and I have just hurt myself...Monday to Tuesday I lost 10lbs. Wednesday to Thursday I gained 4 back...stepping on that scale daily is another problem for me. Maybe I will send my scale to my moms on mondays and have to walk over on Sundays to get it. Lol. I have no will power.2
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Happy birthday! If you can do it without going over calorie goal, I encourage you to eat a little cake. It's your day and you deserve it.
Anyway, welcome to the group! Congratulations on your beginning!2 -
NYMama - Welcome and Happy Birthday! Get cupcakes - and only enough for you and the kids to each eat one. Buy a pint of ice cream - which is 4 servings. If you don't buy enough for left-overs, you won't have it to tempt you.
150 oz a day of water is a TON! Seriously, I do good to get in 10 cups that that's almost 19. Bravo! I put crystal light liquid in mine to make it more palatable. Don't do the scale every day - just don't. It'll make you crazy. I do it twice a week and that's too much. I just took a challenge to not weight for a month, starting next Monday. I may lose my mind, but I'm going to try very hard to not weigh at all.
Have a great birthday.
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@NYMama607 happy birthday !
For ice cream try Halo Top (https://www.halotop.com/) ... very low calorie; a pint of birthday cake flavor might be 280cal the whole thing ... it's not exactly the same as creamy - sugary ice creams but worth it for the calories.
For cake ... angel cake, low fat!
Enjoy your day!2 -
I've heard great things about the halo top peanut butter flavor! I want to try them but man they're expensive!
Also, good carbs vs bad cards: there isn't really any "bad" carbs, but there are simple and complex carbs. Complex carbs take longer to turn into fat, and that is why they are "good." Plus, the foods that have them tend to be lower in calories in general imo.
Simple Carb examples: Potatoes, White Rice
Complex Carb Examples: Sweet Potatoes, Brown rice.
In the end, if you're moving, carbs are carbs, and you can have that white rice if you want. Just be aware that if you overeat on carbs, you might be holding onto more water weight than you'd like.
"Which meats are good"
It is recommended that we mostly eat lean meat. This is basically poultry and fish. I don't like fish. Chicken and turkey, basically. Chicken is full of protein and so it can be super filling, plus it passes through your body easier than red meats.
The "bad" meats would be red meat. Beef and anything else served still pink and bleeding. You don't need to eliminate red meat from your diet, but if you eat it regularly, you might benefit from cutting back and replacing with vegetables or lean meat. I still eat beef at least twice a week, but I would cut back if I had control over my family's dinner meals. (This household LOVES ground beef.) Imo when we cook with red meats, the food is 1. Overall higher in calories, 2. Has much more fat than lean meat 3. Is really delicious and tempts me to overeat.
On a side note: beans are an amazing source of protein. I'm going to be eating so many beans when I eventually do my meat two days a week plan.
I'm not at all a nutritionist, so their opinion should be much more valued, but I hope I helped explain it a little 1
