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One last time ...

HestiaMoon1HestiaMoon1 Posts: 283Member Member Posts: 283Member Member
That's what I'm naming this journal. I've been listening to Hamilton A LOT lately.
Plus this is it for me. If this doesn't work, I'm going to learn to live with the fat.

I'm almost 2 weeks in. Today was harder than any other day.
I snacked a few times earlier.
I feel almost sick when I finish eating now whether it's a snack or a meal. And then my belly pushes up against my ribs and feels so disgusting.
Does that happen to anyone else?
That feeling of this gross mass around my middle and the two creases on my backsides that I have now are more revolting than how I felt at 180 when I realized my *kitten* was so big it was difficult to feel "clean" without moist TP wipes.

Following MFP I gained 20 pounds from that 180 that grossed me out. I didn't even weigh this much pregnant.
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Replies

  • arguablysamsonarguablysamson Posts: 1,587Member Member Posts: 1,587Member Member
    Hey there,

    Welcome!
  • ShannonOMADShannonOMAD Posts: 122Member Member Posts: 122Member Member
    Hi. I feel you on this. The past couple years I've been trying to just... accept the fat. I've always been fat, and I've always hated and would try anything to change. And after actually losing some weight, and then gaining it all back plus some. I was like, eff it. Maybe I'm just supposed to be fat.
    And every diet since then has been my "one last time"
    haha, we're just going to keep trying, even if we think we won't.

    So welcome, to your first "one last time" ;-)

    For both of our sakes, I sincerely hope its true though! And that we're successful this time!
  • blambo61blambo61 Posts: 4,372Member Member Posts: 4,372Member Member
    I grew up very skinny and spent many years trying to gain weight. Then I had a lot of health problems and also stayed up late a lot eating junk while going to grad school and I got fat!

    I've only tried dieting once before I tried OMAD. I would eat a large protein breakfast and then only eat fruit during the day and then a small dinner. I lost about 30-lbs (240 to 210). I exercised a lot too at the time. Then I got a couple of injuries (gout and tore my acl playing basketball) and that diet made me really hungry during the day and I eventually got back into eating horrible (snacking on little Debbie peanut butter cookies and twix out of work snack bar) and I gained it all back and went to 256! That was all within about a year.

    This time I've gone down from 252 to 208 and I'm 19 months into it. What is the difference? I understand the physiology behind eating much better now than I did before. I also have a much better tool to get the weight off. I think with OMAD and understanding what food does to me will enable me to stay thin for good this time. I think that is the key. I see people ask questions sometimes if this is ok or if that is ok and it makes me think that they are somewhat blindly following things but really don't understand the physiology behind things which in the end could undo them if they have a bad spell or two. It is important to keep asking the questions but we all need to come up to speed with some knowledge and tools and we can once and for all succeed and stay that way! Anyways my 2 cents.
    edited April 2017
  • HestiaMoon1HestiaMoon1 Posts: 283Member Member Posts: 283Member Member
    Oh, this is sadly not my first "last time."
    This started about 4 years ago when I noticed that no matter how hard I tried the standard dieting routine I ultimately gained 10lbs each year.

    I'm a trained chef, have eaten organic for decades, and now live on my farm/ranch raising my own food - produce, eggs, and grassfed beef. I eat Paleo 90% of the time.

    The type of food has never been the problem for me. I don't like junk food or soda.
    Amounts didn't seem to be either as my BMR should be (I say should be because it's obviously not) 1586. That's hard to eat with a diet that limits bread, corn, and rice.
    The problem is no matter how little I ate I kept gaining, but where I live being 50 lbs overweight is so normal no doctor would look at any reason for my chronic weight gain other than accusing me of lying about my food intake. I've got almost 4 years of MFP logging - that got the attention of one doctor. She said my caloric needs might be lower than a standard formula would set it, she set it at 800-1000, and an MRI showed diverticulosis. That made me search Leaky Gut and Metabolic Disorders.
    Eating that low and still eating 3-5 times a day following the erroneous "stoke my metabolism" theory was impossible.
    So...now I'm doing this.
    It fits the idea that my insulin and metabolism are out of whack and gives me a better way to control those.
    It allows me to eat the dinners I make for my family instead of just a salad.
    It also is more in line with our beliefs of protecting the health of the planet.

    I feel a little lighter, and I've lost 2.4 lbs with 12 days of OMAD and 2 days of not OMAD in the middle of the past 2 weeks.
  • wsandy8512wsandy8512 Posts: 1,897Member Member Posts: 1,897Member Member
    Awesome on the loss!
  • HestiaMoon1HestiaMoon1 Posts: 283Member Member Posts: 283Member Member
    wsandy8512 wrote: »
    Awesome on the loss!

    Thank you. I got on the scale, accidentally, about an hour later while changing clothes and I was down another 0.6lbs. That put me in a very good mood!
  • wsandy8512wsandy8512 Posts: 1,897Member Member Posts: 1,897Member Member
    wsandy8512 wrote: »
    Awesome on the loss!

    Thank you. I got on the scale, accidentally, about an hour later while changing clothes and I was down another 0.6lbs. That put me in a very good mood!

    ROFLMAO!!!! That's super and happy it put you in a good mood. :-)
  • arguablysamsonarguablysamson Posts: 1,587Member Member Posts: 1,587Member Member
  • blambo61blambo61 Posts: 4,372Member Member Posts: 4,372Member Member
    Nice to be able to eat a normal dinner!
  • HestiaMoon1HestiaMoon1 Posts: 283Member Member Posts: 283Member Member
    blambo61 wrote: »
    Nice to be able to eat a normal dinner!

    Yes! Also, I realized I can eat breakfast food for dinner, or make a plate of my dried fruit/ nut bars, yogurt, and a protein shake. I miss those things now, plus I still have them in my refrigerator and don't want to waste them.

    Where do you live blambo61? I saw in your journal that you ski. I lived in Boulder and Steamboat before having to move here. I miss skiing, bluebird skies, and living with altitude.
  • blambo61blambo61 Posts: 4,372Member Member Posts: 4,372Member Member
    I'm in northern ut
  • HestiaMoon1HestiaMoon1 Posts: 283Member Member Posts: 283Member Member
    Holy moly! I just saw that in my original post MFP auto-editing or something changed the 3-letter euphemism i used for rear-end to kitten. That's .... just... No. In case anyone was shocked into thinking I was referring to some other part, no. It was my backside. Just my backside.
  • 1MADGIRL1MADGIRL Posts: 836Member Member Posts: 836Member Member
    Holy moly! I just saw that in my original post MFP auto-editing or something changed the 3-letter euphemism i used for rear-end to kitten. That's .... just... No. In case anyone was shocked into thinking I was referring to some other part, no. It was my backside. Just my backside.

    That is so funny haha. I just burst out laughing. Thank you! I needed a good laugh! :)
  • Brendalea69Brendalea69 Posts: 3,461Member Member Posts: 3,461Member Member
    Holy moly! I just saw that in my original post MFP auto-editing or something changed the 3-letter euphemism i used for rear-end to kitten. That's .... just... No. In case anyone was shocked into thinking I was referring to some other part, no. It was my backside. Just my backside.

    First I was like :o but then I was like :D gotta love auto correct!!!
  • HestiaMoon1HestiaMoon1 Posts: 283Member Member Posts: 283Member Member
    My favorite part of OMAD is not playing the "If I eat --- now I can't have --- later , unless I burn X, then I can have...." Ahhhhhh! I like the mental space I've gained. It reminds me of when I lived without a TV and found I suddenly had hours of free time.
  • HestiaMoon1HestiaMoon1 Posts: 283Member Member Posts: 283Member Member
    My stomach must be shrinking. Despite being gripped by mind altering hunger at 5 pm, I couldn't even eat a whole plate full of dinner. But I did enjoy a Kona chocolate coconut beer (not as good as Dale's Death by Coconut stout, but very good nonetheless)
  • wsandy8512wsandy8512 Posts: 1,897Member Member Posts: 1,897Member Member
    Oh yes, not being able to eat a full meal the first week or two is common. Surprising as well. lol Your beer sounds good!!
  • amflautistamflautist Posts: 995Member, Premium Member Posts: 995Member, Premium Member
    My stomach must be shrinking. Despite being gripped by mind altering hunger at 5 pm, I couldn't even eat a whole plate full of dinner.

    Can't wait until I get to that stomach-shrinking stage. I guess everyone knows I flunked Weight Watchers. When I was under their plan, one of the rules was you could have as many vegetables as you wanted. Once I reported that I ate a whole family-sized bag of frozen broccoli. All the proper ladies freaked out.
  • HestiaMoon1HestiaMoon1 Posts: 283Member Member Posts: 283Member Member
    amflautist wrote: »
    My stomach must be shrinking. Despite being gripped by mind altering hunger at 5 pm, I couldn't even eat a whole plate full of dinner.

    Can't wait until I get to that stomach-shrinking stage. I guess everyone knows I flunked Weight Watchers. When I was under their plan, one of the rules was you could have as many vegetables as you wanted. Once I reported that I ate a whole family-sized bag of frozen broccoli. All the proper ladies freaked out.

    LOL Maybe they freaked about because they worried you'd have a noxious gas release in that little meeting room! That's a lot of fiber! ;)
  • amflautistamflautist Posts: 995Member, Premium Member Posts: 995Member, Premium Member
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