Runners that need some nutritional accountability
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Morning all.
Busy day at work yesterday. We usually have 5 staff on the floor per day, but 2 were sick (dreaded C) and another was just sick. So we are going to be short staffed all week. Yay. At least we will only be 2 down not 3 for the rest of the week.
Had call last night. 2 call outs so am feeling sleepy today but not too bad. Have work at 12 so will go for a run soon. Still trying to get my ethics application done. I've done the actual application but need to get supervisors to check a few details. Needs to be submitted next week - ahhhh. Also chasing boss' for supporting letters. Sigh.
Still doing well and still on track. Have had occasional cravings to binge but have managed to resist. Just keep logging everything.
Picked up weights again yesterday. Am sore lol1 -
I have not had time to get back to here, but realize it would really help if I did. Really struggling, eating more than I should. Last week I at a whole bag of splenda. This week not looking any better. I have already blown my calories for today. My feed beast is stress/fear triggered. At this point, it is pretty much centered around my mother's health.
It can be something simple in her manner, like this morning, asking me if I am going to work in the morning (which I do every Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday). Not even 5 minutes pass and she asks me again. I answer the questions, repeatedly, realizing she has no clue she just asked me. The decline in the last two years has been frightening. I want to break down and cry to my mother! But, I cannot, I have to pull through and show her I love her and will care for her till she leaves me.
I have been hiding from my eating, ashamed because I am eating things I do not like, just to quell the fear inside. I know that grief cycles can start before a loved one dies and I fully understand now, just watching the decline in her wrenches my heart to the core.
That is all I can write for now. I am feeling gutted, ashamed and tired.1 -
@CMorning99 Wow! You got all of your to-do list taken care of! I wish I could say that. Sounds like everything else is going pretty good.
@Avidkeo I hope you get better sleep tonight and you get your application completed. Sounds like you are doing great with your eating. Wish I could say the same.
@AlphaHowls I'm so sorry you are having to deal with all of that. Dementia is so hard on the family. Dad didn't have it, but was getting a little more forgetful and not able to to the things he used to do. I would find myself getting irritated "at him," but realized it was just that I wanted him to be like he used to be and couldn't get my mind around the fact that he was declining. So, I don't totally understand, but I get it. Do you have someone that you can cry to? A sibling? A religious leader? A friend? Big hugs to you!1 -
@CMorning99 - great job getting to everything on your to do list! I hope all is well with grey cat. It is good he is so talkative but I hope the belly issue is nothing serious.
@avidkeo - glad you are able to stay on track even with being on call! I hope no one else gets sick so you are even more shorthanded. Chasing supervisors to get letters is like herding cats. It is always so hard to get them to commit and actually get it done.
@AlphaHowls - there is no reason to be ashamed! I just wish I knew more to be able to offer a coping mechanism. The only thing I know that worked for me in an entirely different situation was to stop before I ate anything and ask myself 1) was I really hungry, 2) was what I was going to eat something I really wanted and 3) was it worth it. If nothing else it made me think for a moment before eating even if sometimes I went ahead and ate whatever anyways.
I started listening last year to a podcast by Anderson Cooper called 'All There Is' that he started when he was going through his mom's things 2 years after she passed away. It made me cry at times but I also learned a lot about my feelings about my mom's death and how that made me worry about losing everyone around me.
One of the episodes is specifically about 'anticipatory grief'. You might want to listen to it as it is an episode with a woman going through something similar to you and your mom. Maybe it will help?
https://www.cnn.com/audio/podcasts/all-there-is-with-anderson-cooper/episodes/73c062a8-cc0f-475b-8a09-af2c001b85fc
In any case sending you lots of hugs. It is just so hard to see someone you care so much about, just drift away.
Heavy rain here until Wednesday so we are having lots oof soup and I am getting ready to make bread again. The starter will be ready to go to bake bread on Saturday when it is raining again... I am trying to fit some running around the rain as much as I can. I'm also working on getting several things reupholstered. The place I want to use no longer has fabric so I need to find the fabric <sigh>. They will also repair our leather loveseat but again I need to find the leather. I'm not even sure where to look or what I would need to buy there are too many different kinds.
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Great advice @shanaber. I hope you stay safe from all of that rain. You are doing great getting in running when you can. I hope you are able to find the fabric you need and like for your furniture. It's so hard to find somewhere to reupholster furniture.
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Good morning!
@shanabar We have recieved nearly 6 inches of rain here in the last 30 hours...and we got the light end of the storm. Just north and south of us got slammed. All the schools are cancelled today and lots of roads closed. The road to mom's ranch is blocked too. Makes me think about PD, his road is our other access point...or maybe the cliff broke off and it is gone <evil laugh>.
Rain has been crazy...not soft constant rain...just frequent torrential downpours. I cancelled grey cats appoint last night and it is rescheduled for this evening.
Obv no exercise. I ate a bit too much dinner last night, not sure why...it tasted good.
Rain again this weekend. I have to go up to the ranch on Friday, hopefully it is dry enough that I can check for any damage or erosion issues.
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Thank you, I have it saved for when I get some time Friday.
@AlphaHowls - there is no reason to be ashamed! I just wish I knew more to be able to offer a coping mechanism. The only thing I know that worked for me in an entirely different situation was to stop before I ate anything and ask myself 1) was I really hungry, 2) was what I was going to eat something I really wanted and 3) was it worth it. If nothing else it made me think for a moment before eating even if sometimes I went ahead and ate whatever anyways.
I started listening last year to a podcast by Anderson Cooper called 'All There Is' that he started when he was going through his mom's things 2 years after she passed away. It made me cry at times but I also learned a lot about my feelings about my mom's death and how that made me worry about losing everyone around me.
One of the episodes is specifically about 'anticipatory grief'. You might want to listen to it as it is an episode with a woman going through something similar to you and your mom. Maybe it will help?
https://www.cnn.com/audio/podcasts/all-there-is-with-anderson-cooper/episodes/73c062a8-cc0f-475b-8a09-af2c001b85fc
In any case sending you lots of hugs. It is just so hard to see someone you care so much about, just drift away.@quilteryoyo wrote: »
@AlphaHowls I'm so sorry you are having to deal with all of that. Dementia is so hard on the family. Dad didn't have it, but was getting a little more forgetful and not able to to the things he used to do. I would find myself getting irritated "at him," but realized it was just that I wanted him to be like he used to be and couldn't get my mind around the fact that he was declining. So, I don't totally understand, but I get it. Do you have someone that you can cry to? A sibling? A religious leader? A friend? Big hugs to you!
Thank you! It is mostly about allowing myself to let it out. I do 'run' to my running partner quite a bit.
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@AlphaHowls biggest hugs. Dementia is one of the worst diseases I have ever seen. I work with dementia patients all the time and my heart always goes out to the family who support them. I want to say don't be ashamed, and I remember that shame well. I am also excellent at hiding my eating so no one can see it. And the shame drives me to eat more, to fill that hole. And nothing does. Viscious cycle. I have found keeping busy helps, and atm I'm chewing gum when the craving strikes. That's been working for a couple of weeks...
Always remember to ask for help. How advanced is she?
@shanaber @CMorning99 We are also experiencing rain here, and it's windy today. And yet still very hot. I hate humidity.
Call again last night, just one call so I'm reasonably rested. Hoping to relax a bit today before going to see a comedian tonight - Jimmy Carr if anyone follows British comedians. We are very much looking forward to it.1 -
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Night out was great. Nice to have a good laugh.
Shift again today and tomorrow. Supposed to do a recovery run, I think I'll just have a rest day. About to take the kids bowling!1 -
@Avidkeo I'm glad you had a nice night out. Bowling is fun. I bowled in a league when I was in CA. I got pretty good, but haven't bowled in ages.1
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So glad you were able to have a nice evening out @Avidkeo! I am not much of a bowler and it didn't help that DH was more or less a pro. He also bowled for the Navy when he was in. When we dated he always tried to correct me when we bowled and we both just got frustrated when I couldn't get it right. He used t take our daughter a lot and they joined a father/daughter league for a while and had a ball.
@quilteryoyo - when were you in CA? I don't think I realized you lived here at some point.
@CMorning99 - hope everything is ok at the ranch and that there hasn't been any slides or trees down. Seems like there is flooding and slides everywhere!
I got out for a good run today. I was really curious if there would be a lot of erosion along the trail. There wasn't but there was a mess along the river - so much mud! And the river was still really low. They are still pulling so much water into the settling ponds which are now really full. It will be interesting over the next few days - we are supposed to get more rain starting on Friday afternoon and all the way through next week. Central and northern CA are getting hit again today too...2 -
@shanaber I was in CA from 1984 to 1987 or 1988. I don't really recall how long I was there. I was stationed at Norton AFB, working on the ballistic missile design. I made numerous trips to LA for work and that traffic, for a small town gal, was horrible.
I'm glad your trail wasn't too bad, except for the mud by the river. Do they have overflows for the settling ponds? What happens when they are full? 0 -
Hey y'all! It's been a while to say the least. I was really struggling the past few months. In September my job switched to Workday and it's been super stressful.
I ignored the scale in December because I couldn't face it. I am not at my highest but very close. My last 2 blood pressure readings were also a tad high.
So I am getting myself back to running, lifting and logging food. I'm also refocusing the diet and portion sizes.
Hope everyone is well. I did not read through the 100s of entries I missed in here. 😆
Oh! And in November I got my RRCA coaching certification!2 -
Hugs @runs_on_espresso many of us are in that same boat. I'm 19 days into sticking to it, after hitting half way into the weight loss I originally had. I nearly cried.
@shanaber I hope the rains ease. We finally have summer back!
I'm doing well overall. Have had a stall this week. Not worried because I did some strength training on Tuesday so assume water weight. Also, my uterus is complaining. I think it's trying to have a period, which I haven't had one in 2 years. I forgot what cramps feel like. Do not miss them.
I feel like I'm getting used to eating as I am. It's feeling like a good habit now. I have had a few moments the couple of days where I've wanted to binge, and I've managed to stop myself. It feels good to.1 -
@RunsOnEspresso I'm glad to see you back and I don't blame you for not reading all the missed posts. Sorry work is so stressful. What does it mean when you say it switched to Workday? Sounds like you have a good plan going forward with your food and exercise. One day at a time. Congratulations on getting your RRCA coaching certification. Do you do virtual coaching? I may need it. LOL
You are doing great @Avidkeo . I think those plateau's are an evil part of losing weight.1 -
@shanaber oh yes, hope you are safe and dry! The storms have missed us and hit further north.
@Avidkeo I've been following you on IG and taking inspiration!
@quilteryoyo Workday is an all in one HR system. It replaced two separate systems for us and it's been a rough transition. It's supposed to be so much better and faster but everything takes twice as long now.
I plan to do only virtual coaching. I haven't gotten my *kitten* together much. I did put together a new runner 5k program cuz it was easy 😆3 -
Welcome back @RunsOnEspresso! I have missed you! I have been following along with your workouts on Strava though. I hope once the transition to Workday smooths out it gets easier to use. Always such a steep learning curve with moving to new systems like that.
@Avidkeo - You can't be old enough for menopause - have you had the lack of periods checked out? I hope the cramping goes away!
I have already slipped on my resolve to get in more strength training and keep on a schedule. I have done a little but not another full workout. I will get one in this weekend. On the other hand I am way ahead of my run/walk goal for the month even with all the rain.
More rain is coming - supposed to hit us this afternoon and then rain most all of the weekend and into next week. Then clear for a while after that.
I don't think I ever posted my yearly goals - I actually did get them written down this time.
What are your fitness goals for this next year?
Start my day with an early workout instead of at noon (this is a tough one for me. I just can't seem to get going early anymore)
Run more consistently
Run only the 3-4 miles recommended with an occasional longer run
One HITT run per week
Strength train twice per week minimum
Eat healthier: Cut sugar, Increase fiber, more vegetables
Where do you want to be a year from now?
Healthy and uninjured
Running a faster mile
Running more continuous miles
Stronger and Lighter
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@shanaber sorry I should have been clearer, I have a mirena IUD which has the wonderful side effect, if you are lucky, of reducing or even stopping your periods. I'm only 40 so yeah hopefully not perimenopausal yet.
I love your goals.
@runs_on_espresso awww I've been following you too. Insta can be such a good place to be.
No loss this morning. Its OK. Happens. Half expected a woosh with how often I went to the loo yesterday. It will move, eventually lol.
Im on holiday! Just a week but a needed week. I have a old friend visiting from Spain - they are touring NZ and are stopping in our town for a few days. Mum is also off - did I mention she works in the same department now? So we are going to do some basic home improvements for her, and she's going to have the kids a couple of nights so I can get a couple of days break. Hubby is working - it's their big annual tournament and we have teams coming from as far away as Australia!
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@RunsOnEspresso It often happens that things that are supposed to make your life easier actually makes it harder. I hope it all gets worked out and it becomes less stressful.
I like your goals @shanaber ! I do have a questions though. Is it the doctor that doesn't want you to run more than 4 miles?
@Avidkeo Enjoy time with your friend and mom. I have forgotten, if I ever knew, what does your husband do?0
