Me Vs. the Binge -- June 2018 Challenge
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June 2018
Me: 9
B:
DBF: 200!!!!!!5 -
Me: 2
B: 0
DBF:2
@brittdee88 really 200 do you still need to fight it at that milestone? I was hoping it was like second nature after 100?
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@hillmike56 I assumed that as well, and it was second nature for a while, but I had to fight 2 or 3 times last month. I haven’t had the urge so far this month, so if I can make it through June without a fight, I will consider myself in recovery.
June 2018
Me: 10
B:
DBF: 2011 -
Me: 3
B: 0
DBF:3
@brittdee88 Thanks for sharing that. About a year ago or more I think I made it here recording maybe a 50 days streak and then it all came apart and for some reason I thought 100 was the magic number and have been fighting it seems just to get a couple of weeks since then. I guess a BINGE eating disorder is close to alcoholism with the exception we can't stay away completely from food. I think the moderator of this page had like a 300+ streak going she wrote me. I know your streak must have had many benefits that keep your fighting like you speak. I know I reached my normal BMI with the battle last year and felt a lot better at that weight than letting the BINGE win. Congratulations as you moving into recovery thanks for hanging around as a great role model.2 -
June 12
Me: 6
B: 6
Where is my reset button? Ha. But there’s this: the B wins have been in small and almost controlled amounts. I’m stopping myself in the middle of things, which I was never able to do before.
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June 11
Me: 7
B: 4
I'm working on it...2 -
@hillmike56 thank you so much for sharing that! I am hoping to get to normal by the end of August (~10 pounds to go), and I would love to also celebrate being close to 300 days. This check-in was the only reason I didn't succumb last month, so I am definitely sticking around!
@wellnesschaser that's great progress!
June 2018
Me: 11
B:
DBF: 2022 -
Me: 12
B: 0
DBF: 15
Yesterday was hard. I ate over calories but didn't really binge although I wanted to. I had to make myself brush my teeth and get in bed just to make the feeling pass.1 -
DBF: 0
Sigh.3 -
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I binged this morning and then I found this support group. My reset starts now.
Me: 0
B: 1
DBF: 02 -
@AD_23
This group, and it's super supportive check-ins help so many of us every day!!! Best of luck to you on your journey.
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DBF: 0
Sigh. It really shouldn't be this hard1 -
@hillmike56
If it didn't matter, it would be easy. IT IS BECAUSE IT MATTERS THAT IT IS HARD.
I don't know if you read much in the way of books or listen to e-books, but one I ran across a couple years ago really helped me to understand how much outside manipulation there is in the world, period. From colors and music to smells and cultural expectation, LITERALLY THE ENTIRE WORLD IS GEARED UP FOR INDULGENCE...for doing what we want, we deserve it, etc.
When you realize that so much is literally geared against you, it makes it easier to dust off and move on when smaller things WHAMMY you... And develop techniques to avoid the potholes, detours, etc.
The book is called "Change Anything: The New Science of Personal Success." I don't remember the authors, but I can look them up, if you'd like. But when you realize that literally from the combination of extra, unnecessary additives in foods to make them more addictive, to the packaging appealing to certain ingrained DNA level reactions, to the arrangement of the store to have visual and other sensory triggers assault you as you enter an establishment to the colors of walls and the lighting to the tempo and type of music played to either slow down or speed up your eating (slow down when they want you to stay and spend more, sped up when they want you to eat and go during a rush time)...and such... The manipulation is ASTOUNDING, to say the least.
It made me feel far less, "Oh my goodness, I'm so weak. This is CRAZY. Why can't I just do this?" and it made me feel far more, "Really? That's HILARIOUS. I see through your marketing BS and ingrained stress/boredom triggers now. It's still hard, but knowing that you're throwing literally EVERY TRICK IN THE BOOK AT ME to try to defeat me helps me to understand why it's hard and that IT'S REALLY NOT JUST ME. The world really is geared to make it almost impossible to do this alone..."
Just understanding that alone made all the mess easier to ignore, move past, or fight back against.
So HUGS.
IT'S NOT JUST YOU.1 -
June 2018
Me: 13
B:
DBF: 2041 -
Yikes. I have no idea how I’m doing. I’m still here though. TLDR: I’m confused and need to clarify my goals.
I want a better definition of what a binge means to me. I let myself eat up to maintenance cals a lot rather than keep a calorie deficit knowing I’m just going to binge. I start my day meaning to hit a calorie goal but don’t, yet stay within my maintenance calories: weight loss failure, but a binge control win.
So I need to figure out what I’m really trying to accomplish: really commit to my deficit to lean out a bit more and lose some more fat? I’m close to “goal...” But being this close, my goals of getting leaner and fighting the binge are kind of at odds with each other.
I thought I’d “recover” by now (I’ve been close to “goal” for a year!) and then glide on to getting really lean. Haha I only started coming to terms with lifelong binge eating very recently, it might take another year or more at this incredibly slow pace to get where I’d like to be.2 -
DBF: 0.5
I stopped myself last night, not that I hadn't done some damage by then, but still. I stopped myself. I'll give myself a bit of credit for that, and give it another go today.2 -
June 19
DBF: 1.51 -
Me: 2
B: 0
DBF:2
Back from a mini-to-the-mountains vacation with family. Took a break from the routine and counting but no weight gain. Two day streak can it go "3".
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I hope you made it, @hillmike56. I wasn't under budgeted calories today, but I wasn’t much over. It was —OK. And I will take OK over binge any day.
June 20
DBF: 2.51 -
June 21st International Yoga Day ... Namaste everyone
Me: 3
B: 0
DBF:3
@Nevadaden made it glad to see you did as well. Yes I agree. I have used overbudgeted as an excuse for a full-blown BINGE in the past. But like you with this battle we fight a few calories over is no excuse for letting that voice inside our head overcome us. Thanks for the reminder!1 -
Me: 4
B: 0
DBF:41 -
June 21
DBF: 3.5
Good job, @hillmike56!
That all-or-nothing, “I ate one cookie so I might as well eat a dozen” mentality has tripped me up countless times. I’m working on reinforcing to myself that 300 calories over for the day is not the equivalent of 3000.1 -
June 23rd
Me: 5
B: 0
DBF:5
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June 22
DBF: 4.52 -
June 23
DBF: 5.52 -
June 24th
DBF:6
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June 24
DBF: 6.51 -
June 2018
Me: 24
B:
DBF: 215
Urge-free days: 0
Yesterday was a rough one, so I am resetting my 30-day counter to begin today.1 -
June 25
DBF: 7.5
Not a perfect day. Not a bad one. Indeed, today’s imperfection didn’t warrant a “half,” but rather earned a whole digit. Once again, I will happily take OK, and be satisfied that I didn’t buy binge material when it was available and I was tempted to. I am working on knowing the difference between imperfect and unreasoning, and crediting myself when I don’t let the former become the latter.
Hope your day today was easier, @brittdee88.1
This discussion has been closed.