Signs a guy is into you

raige123

I don't know you much at all but from a your posts on here lately you come across as someone who can't say NO, who is a doormat and sorry to say this, but easy.

If I can sniff this from my phone screen, I'm sure men can too! The reason why this is happening is because you're letting them. We all attract guys like this. The difference between you and I is that I say NO. Now, I have been played, don't get me wrong. But usually my relationships have been equal in the giving. There is no way in hell I'd drive a man around after 1 date or 2! And everybody has different opinions on this but I am all about letting a man express his interest in me, specifically in the beginning. Once I feel a bit comfortable, I might make a call. I might offer a round of drinks. I might even take him out to dinner. I don't have sex w/o commitment so I don't remember the last time I felt "used" regarding sex.

You need to seriously take a step back and find some boundaries. ASAP! Or you will be posting these type of posts forever.

Thank you for this! I do need to learn how to say No. I'm just too nice ... and don't want to come across as not that but but not being able to say no I'm starting to realize it's only making me come across as a doormat.

raige123

OP sorry you're having such a hard time distinguishing the keepers from the ones to throw back.

are you just ignoring warning signs at the beginning?
i know that there's a lot of debate about how much stuff to let pass when you first meet someone, but for me personally i usually have a 0% tolerance about stuff. i pretty much assume that everyone is going to be on their best behavior at the start and then people slowly will relax into their normalcy. if someone comes off as a jerk from the moment we meet, then my assumption is that IS him on is best behavior which means that his normal is going to be something even worse.

it might be old fashioned and unpopular, but IMO there is some value in letting guys do most of the heavy lifting at the start of the relationship. i totally agree with tube socks on that point. He should be courting (:laugh: i sound like my grandma) YOU, if anyone is buying gifts (be it liquor, cigs, whatever) it should be HIM buying for YOU, etc. any guy who's not willing to do that in the beginning you should say thanks but no thanks and move on. of course that doesn't mean that you take advantage of the situation either.

it's just been my experience that when you start treating yourself as if you have value and worth AND keep firm in that, then the guys you attract will do so as well. it might reduce the quantity of dates you get but you'll more than make up for that in quality

Thank you!

raige123

Pretty much right away. Hardly ever any "out in public" dates. Things like going for drives, or to the beach at night to talk, or movies at their place or mine ... and never planned in advance.

Tube pretty much summed it up, but I'll throw in my two cents as well.

You're not putting any value in yourself as a person. By letting a man "hang out" with you on a first date, you're establishing yourself as a booty call from the start. He's putting forth any effort, you're not setting any boundaries. There is no room for you to act like a lady and no room for him to treat you like a lady. "Hey baby, let's go to the liquor store". Don't accept hang out dates, don't accept last minute dates early in a relationship. This is my advice to YOU. I am one who will accept last minute dates because I'm a busy, working mother and understand that sometimes we have to seize the moment. The difference is that I can smell out a sleazy @sshole. You are incapable of doing this right now, so don't put yourself in the situation.

Thank you! I do need to find a guy who is respecting of my time and establish boundaries.

kimad

OP sorry you're having such a hard time distinguishing the keepers from the ones to throw back.

are you just ignoring warning signs at the beginning?
i know that there's a lot of debate about how much stuff to let pass when you first meet someone, but for me personally i usually have a 0% tolerance about stuff. i pretty much assume that everyone is going to be on their best behavior at the start and then people slowly will relax into their normalcy. if someone comes off as a jerk from the moment we meet, then my assumption is that IS him on is best behavior which means that his normal is going to be something even worse.

it might be old fashioned and unpopular, but IMO there is some value in letting guys do most of the heavy lifting at the start of the relationship. i totally agree with tube socks on that point. He should be courting (:laugh: i sound like my grandma) YOU, if anyone is buying gifts (be it liquor, cigs, whatever) it should be HIM buying for YOU, etc. any guy who's not willing to do that in the beginning you should say thanks but no thanks and move on. of course that doesn't mean that you take advantage of the situation either.

it's just been my experience that when you start treating yourself as if you have value and worth AND keep firm in that, then the guys you attract will do so as well. it might reduce the quantity of dates you get but you'll more than make up for that in quality

Thank you!

Loved this reply! Lots of great points.

You will get there..... I don't care to mention how many sleezy d-bags I had to go thru until I realized I had to put more worth and value on myself and stick to my boundaries no matter what BS I was fed. Now I am happily in love hehe!