Haters...
gimmekimchee_x
Posts: 24 Member
How do you respond to people who constantly put you down when you are trying to better yourself. I have several family members and friends who discourage me on a daily basis. I hear " it'll never work", "you'll just gain it all back in a month", "stop being stupid and just eat whatever you want".
And sometimes I'm actually embarrassed when I eat in front of other people because they make comments and I when I tell them I'm trying to eat better they proceed to make fun of me. They say things like "keto diet is just a fad" "keto people just eat bacon all day and think they will lose weight". It pisses me off because I dont eat bacon all day and if I eat a piece of bread here and there I dont need them telling me I've already failed and should just give up.
Sorry for the long rant, but this is the stuff I hear all the time and it does get to me. Do any of you have people in your lives like this?
I can handle eating differently than my husband and kids because they support me and if they make fun it's all just light-hearted. But some people are just flat out mean and it DOES get me down. It's not easy when you're an emotional eater like me too. I'm sad, I know. Can anyone relate?
And sometimes I'm actually embarrassed when I eat in front of other people because they make comments and I when I tell them I'm trying to eat better they proceed to make fun of me. They say things like "keto diet is just a fad" "keto people just eat bacon all day and think they will lose weight". It pisses me off because I dont eat bacon all day and if I eat a piece of bread here and there I dont need them telling me I've already failed and should just give up.
Sorry for the long rant, but this is the stuff I hear all the time and it does get to me. Do any of you have people in your lives like this?
I can handle eating differently than my husband and kids because they support me and if they make fun it's all just light-hearted. But some people are just flat out mean and it DOES get me down. It's not easy when you're an emotional eater like me too. I'm sad, I know. Can anyone relate?
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Replies
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This thing aint a fad anymore... It's widely accepted. Just know what's right for you and stay strong.3
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Ignore the noise and keep going. You are doing great and those that do not understand are bound to make ignorant comments to drag you down in a desperate attempt to align you with their point of view. I simply tell them: I respect your opinion but the method you describe has resulted in me not being where I need to be up to this point in my life and as such I have selected another path. I am doing this for me, not you and I hope you can respect that.
I guarantee you that in 6 months when you have improved your health they will be asking how you did it.4 -
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The first rule of Keto Club?
Don't talk about Keto Club.
I just stopped talking about it. I stopped trying to explain it.23 -
I agree with the advice not to talk about it. Just do it and soon the naysayers will be jealous of your success!3
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Yeah I agree with not talking about it. When they ask why you are eating what you are just tell them it's what you're body or you or whatever is craving at the time. Surely they won't try to tell YOU what YOUR body wants?3
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There is a saying I've heard. "You can't win an argument with a stupid person." I understand why you are mad, they are being bullies. Define your personal boundaries and if they bring it up, silence is power. Or loose it and tell them to go to H..., that might be what they need to back off.4
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I agree with the advice not to talk about it. Just do it and soon the naysayers will be jealous of your success!
So it's not like I'm going around with a sign that says " I'M ON KETO LETS TALK ABOUT IT" lol
The negativity comes from people looking at my plate and a lot of it is people being offended when I wont eat their food.2 -
unfortunately, i don't have anybody that cares enough to say anything (for better or worse). my wife knows and doesn't care as long as i don't try to feed our kids the same; my co-workers know i am doing keto and figure whatever works, is great. all of us, small team of 7, need to lose weight and manage various health things that keto would help.2
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KetoZandra wrote: »There is a saying I've heard. "You can't win an argument with a stupid person." I understand why you are mad, they are being bullies. Define your personal boundaries and if they bring it up, silence is power. Or loose it and tell them to go to H..., that might be what they need to back off.
LOL I usually end up getting mad and telling them to mind their own business but it still happens.
I will try to just not say anything, even when they ask I'll just shrug or something lol. Wish my family was more supportive. 😔3 -
If your family is overweight they aren’t going to be more supportive. Sorry to tell you this, but I’ve lost my weight , and kept it off for over three years now, and my morbidly obese family still expect me to regain it! They’re all overweight and don’t care to even try to lose a pound. They don’t have the nerve to better themselves. The only way they can make themselves feel better is by making me feel bad. I have learned to ignore them because my health is more important than them hurting my feelings. The rude comments have stopped now, but they call me skinny and ask how much more weight am I going to lose? I just keep eating my yummy food and smile while they starve to death eating French fries and Potato chips!
The only thing you can do is show them through your actions, then they will see your results after eating the foods you’ve been eating. Choose to prove them wrong by channeling that frustration into determination! You deserve the good that comes from every good choice you make!!
But no, Keto is not a fad. It’s being recommended by physicians around the world now to correct many health problems. Once more people realize that we’ve been told the wrong ways to eat by people who profit from the foods they tell us to eat, then attitudes will change for everyone!
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Be Keto and Be Proud.... If different is wrong i don't want to be right.... Let them Laugh and let them suffer..... Stay on YOUR path and nothing less.2
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Yeah I have those people that don't support it. My mother gets more affected, I don't really care about their opinions and views and you'll see why as I go through some.
My mum and her younger sister go for a meal every month or so and being on the diet she is selective of what she orders. She always gets a lecture about how unsafe and unsustainable this keto fad diet is. Thing is though that she hasn't actually researched into it much. She'd only seen the reviews and posts from those anti keto articles with no conclusive scientific evidence to back up their claims and that.
My mum had a stroke a couple years back when she was high risk anyway and we had a very stressful life happening at time. She was pre-diabetic, on anti-depressants and also has hereditary high blood pressure. Also no thyroid. So she's on a lot of meds. Being keto for about a month, she stopped taking statins and anti-depressants. No longer pre-diabetic. I make sure she gets her blood pressure checked each month or more in case it goes down and needs readjusting.
So comes second strike, our GP's. None of the doctors at our surgery support the keto diet. I've also faced the fire. 'You need more carbs in your diet. Body needs carbs to function. High fat is unhealthy, blah blah'. I don't believe her doctor knows she's off the statins and it's simply because she's afraid to tell him and get the backlash. Her blood work hasn't given her away.
Then theirs my two eldest sisters. They don't see how much happier my mum is. They compliment the weight loss, but they always suggest she goes back on anti-depressants. She isn't depressed any more. But a slight moment of sadness or frustration with them (normal human emotion) and it's ' you wouldn't be like this if you were still on the pills'.
Then there's our neighbour, also my mums best friend. She's in her 70's and at a high risk of heart attack or stroke with her lifestyle. Drinks bottles of wine each day, junk food, past smoker, overweight. She always makes a fuss when they go out for a meal about the selectiveness and on Thursday or Saturday Lunch. Thursday is a meal and dessert which is now keto friendly each week. Saturday is roast. Do keto friendly gravy and we have cauli mash instead of roast potatoes. (tried roasting radishes last time. tasted nice like potatoes, but weren't crispy so need to try again).
Mum and her used to live the same bad lifestyle, but once mum switched to keto and lost weight, got healthier, I feel the jealousy kicked in. Instead of trying it for herself, she just knocks it down. She also can't see us continuing after goal weight. But we both agree that we prefer the keto way of eating.
She also likes to remark I have an eating disorder just because I'm strict with weighing the food and eating within a set time. If anything it's more if I allow myself to eat whatever I want whenever I want, I can't stop myself binging. Some can do moderation, I can't.
The restrictions have made me much healthier and happier.
Anyway, sorry for the very long post there.
Point of the matter is that if what you do makes you happy, don't listen to others opinions on what they think would make you happy. You know yourself much better than they do.6 -
@Larkspur94 thank you for sharing that with me. You definitely get my struggle. I guess since I'm just starting out and dont really have any progress to show, it's easier for them to be skeptical and negative.
I have to grow thicker skin and not let the negative nancies get to me. I think it's not so much what they say as it is who it's coming from. People whose opinions matter more to me than they should.
@KarlaYP you're definitely on to something, the people with the loudest voices are those who never even try to lose weight or get healthier. My husband though, thank God for him, he is my biggest supporter for ANYTHING I do. Im so lucky to have him. I wish he would join me in keto and working out, but I don't want to force it lol. Im hoping he will see the progress and join then.5 -
I get a bit of grief at work about it, usually if we are having a work shout and it is something I can't eat like pizza. They say dumb things like she can't eat it she doesn't eat sugar or shes on a stupid diet blah blah blah. They know nothing at all about keto and I have given up explaining things. I simply don't care what other people think. So just don't react as that is what they want. Do this for you and nobody else, you will be the winner in the end
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Haters gonna hate, not much you can do about that. I know for me at work, I have turned down treats and crap so much that most of the time people don't even ask me any more if I want some, so there is some hope that you will wear them down and they will move on to the next thing they feel the need to butt into.3
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I would do the same thing to them, pick on them for their bad eating habits, all sugar and processed grain, middle isle foods, preservatives. And all the health risks that come from those. Luckily most of my family and friends are not bullies, but my older sister was. She's not so much now, but I've learned that reflecting their behavior back to them shows them how irritating it is
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The best response I have found is "I'm sorry you feel that way."
You don't have to educate anyone, particularly if they aren't going to listen anyway. You don't owe anyone any explanation. You are the only person who gets to decide what you do with your body because you are the only person who lives in it. That is 100% all you. No one else gets a vote.7 -
I would do the same thing to them, pick on them for their bad eating habits, all sugar and processed grain, middle isle foods, preservatives. And all the health risks that come from those. Luckily most of my family and friends are not bullies, but my older sister was. She's not so much now, but I've learned that reflecting their behavior back to them shows them how irritating it is
Hahahaha I love this approach1 -
tcunbeliever wrote: »The best response I have found is "I'm sorry you feel that way."
You don't have to educate anyone, particularly if they aren't going to listen anyway. You don't owe anyone any explanation. You are the only person who gets to decide what you do with your body because you are the only person who lives in it. That is 100% all you. No one else gets a vote.
Yesss! Good advice, thank you!1 -
I agree with "I'm sorry you feel that way" !
Although, I really don't talk to people about it unless they ask and seem open. And even then I don't mention 'keto' because although it's common now, there are so many misconceptions and so many strong (& often misguided) opinions.
When people ask how I've lost weight I usually just tell people I have cut out sugar reduced my carb intake. You don't owe people explanations about your personal choices - especially the ones that work for you since you know yourself best! If prople are seriously searching for something that works, I give them more details, but stop if they are just looking to be critical.3 -
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KristinLeeD wrote: »
HAHAHAHAHA! 🤣3 -
Talk is cheap! What haters say and frankly what you say to them matters little. What matters is results. We are all experiments of ONE. Is it working for you? For me; I've lost about 30 pounds, gained mental clarity, my joints feel and work better, my mood and attitude are much improved and more...…. In short, I don't have to verbally defend keto. It works for me! I know it and I show it.3
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So many good attitudes and advice! I’m pumped from just reading all this!1
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Someone at the book group was starting a diet and was talking about her exercise program and the dietician, blah, blah blah. She had gained a few pounds after starting this complicated plan supervised by a personal trainer and the dietician, etc. One of the women there said she should talk to me because I had seemed to be successful in losing some weight and keeping it off.
She asked what I had done. I describe keto typically as a "low carb diet" so that people don't go crazy sending me links to articles saying I will drop dead if I don't get X% of my calories from fruit or something. "Low carb" is nebulous enough that they don't really know if I all I have done is stop eating white bread.
The response was classic. She said, "If you lose anything, it will just be water weight." I said, "I guess I have lost 130 lbs of water weight then." She said, "You will never keep it off."
FWIW, I have been in maintenance for 6 months now, and I seem to be holding steady. She does not come to book group any more, but I hope things are going well with the personal trainer and the dietician. I have found something that has worked for me.9 -
tcunbeliever wrote: »The best response I have found is "I'm sorry you feel that way."
You don't have to educate anyone, particularly if they aren't going to listen anyway. You don't owe anyone any explanation. You are the only person who gets to decide what you do with your body because you are the only person who lives in it. That is 100% all you. No one else gets a vote.
Absolutely the perfect response and I use it all the time...I don't owe anyone any excuses, reasons, explanations, or arguments. Unless they've made the Unbreakable Vow that they will take care of me for the rest of my life when I am morbidly overweight and unhealthy, then they can just carry on with themselves, and leave me be.
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Larkspur94 wrote: »
So comes second strike, our GP's. None of the doctors at our surgery support the keto diet. I've also faced the fire. 'You need more carbs in your diet. Body needs carbs to function. High fat is unhealthy, blah blah'. I don't believe her doctor knows she's off the statins and it's simply because she's afraid to tell him and get the backlash. Her blood work hasn't given her away.
I told my doctor I wanted to lose some weight, and he gave me some xeroxed sheets. I tried it, and I was eating in a healthier way before the xeroxed sheet "plate" version of SAD. I tried low carb and then lowered carbs to be keto.
I lost about a pound a week between appointments, and the doctor commented that it was so rare to have a patient actually take a doctor's advice with diet. He was pleased with my progress. I told him, I had been successful really because I had ignored his advice. I asked if he wanted to know what I was doing. He laughed and said I should just keep doing it. After he left the examining room, the nurse said, "You can tell me."
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I had more comments at first. It's easier now - possibly because they are used to me eating this way or possibly because keto is now more know. But even 4 years ago I did not get too many comments. Meat with a side veggie, passing on the bread, is not that unusual.... plus I am a celiac so I need to skip the gluten foods anyways.
A simple no thanks, or I'm not hungry, often works fine too. Although some people in your life need to be told to butt out. Sheesh. Rude. (Hugs)Larkspur94 wrote: »
So comes second strike, our GP's. None of the doctors at our surgery support the keto diet. I've also faced the fire. 'You need more carbs in your diet. Body needs carbs to function. High fat is unhealthy, blah blah'. I don't believe her doctor knows she's off the statins and it's simply because she's afraid to tell him and get the backlash. Her blood work hasn't given her away.
I told my doctor I wanted to lose some weight, and he gave me some xeroxed sheets. I tried it, and I was eating in a healthier way before the xeroxed sheet "plate" version of SAD. I tried low carb and then lowered carbs to be keto.
I lost about a pound a week between appointments, and the doctor commented that it was so rare to have a patient actually take a doctor's advice with diet. He was pleased with my progress. I told him, I had been successful really because I had ignored his advice. I asked if he wanted to know what I was doing. He laughed and said I should just keep doing it. After he left the examining room, the nurse said, "You can tell me."
LOL 2 -
The only way some can rise above the crowd is to try to mash down everyone around them. I talk freely about keto to those who ask and seem open-minded about it. The rest I ignore, for the most part.1
