Binge Eating

conniewilkins56
conniewilkins56 Posts: 3,391 Member
If you suffer from Binge Eating, you already know it is not a pleasant situation to endure...it is an addiction not unlike smoking, drinking or drugs...I am a Binge Eater...yesterday I easily consumed 7 to 8 thousand calories...I lost count somewhere between a huge bagel with gobs of cream cheese on it and my third slice of pizza that I almost hurled...but did that stop me?...nope...I ate an entire bag of Keebler’s fudge stick cookies and a quart of milk...feeling sick and knowing the guilt and shame I would suffer later did not deter me...I finished off someone’s doggie bag of food I found in the fridge and a stale chocolate cupcake....I also found some chocolate kisses on a shelf in the pantry...I think they were from Christmas...I also had lunch earlier....onion soup, onion rings and a quesadilla burger..an a few things I can’t remember... finally went to bed and literally passed out...I slept in this morning and had put on over 7 lbs....mostly excess food weight and fluid I am sure...today I went back to basics and I am watching every hour tick by...so far so good...this is my story...it is a struggle...thanks for listening and all of your support....my doctor is very aware of my addiction and my struggles...I am on a medication that does help with anxiety, stress, pain and depression but some days it isn’t enough...it is hard to share the horrible helpless feeling a binge causes...a binge is not just overeating...a binge is eating anything you can get your hands on and eating it mindlessly...sorry for the long whiney post....the last 24 hours have been hell..
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Replies

  • merph518
    merph518 Posts: 701 Member
    edited March 2020
    Sounds really frustrating Connie. I wish I was qualified to help more with this -- have you tried talking to a therapist about it? (You mention medication for meds for anxiety/stress/depression, so you likely have a therapist, but have you broached this particular issue with them?)
  • conniewilkins56
    conniewilkins56 Posts: 3,391 Member
    I went to a therapist years ago and he said he was glad I don’t do drugs or drink much because I have such an addictive personality...I am also somewhat OCD about really stupid things...I feel best when I am in control of everything in my life...my regular doctor has helped me so much and I am better than I was a year ago...it’s just a constant struggle and some days I get tired of fighting it....yesterday was bad...almost like a black out....my grandson goes to the cardiologist again today and a lot of stuff is going on at home right now with our daughter and her family that live with us....normal every day things but I am not handling it very well right now...Spring break next week will help with my daughters work load and her problems...
  • ConfidentRaven
    ConfidentRaven Posts: 1,428 Member
    Hugs to you Connie. I've had days like you've described and I wish I had great advice to you, but all I have is to try to keep the tempting foods out of the house. And yes I know that it's very weak advice, but sometimes it helps me if I don't have treat items in the house. If all I have is healthier foods I look at it and go meh I don't really want that. It doesn't work 100% of the time, but it's kept me from a binge or two.

    All you can do at this point is to move on and know most of the gain will be gone in a few days, and whatever doesn't will go eventually.

    It could also help if you keep track of your emotions, situations, food choices, macros, that occur in the day or days before a binge. This information could help you avoid or at least start predicting a binge and that could help you get some control of them.

    Hang in there.
  • Satisfiedwithbetter
    Satisfiedwithbetter Posts: 970 Member
    That dam Lizard! He runs around like a 3 year old, out of control, eating everything in sight. At times it seems we can’t reason with it. We just need to love it, and put it to bed early. I’m not sure my Lizard would binge on veggies and proteins, if that is what was available. As for your addictive personality, that could be seen in a more positive light!
  • Jackie9003
    Jackie9003 Posts: 1,096 Member
    I'm in the same situation so you're definitely not alone!
    But I really don't have any answers.
    I completely get how you feel, I bought a huge chocolate cake, because it was a bargain, and I've eaten most of it. I bought 3 bottles of nice vodka, because it was a bargain, I've already got 4 bottles so I've drunk one.
    Both times I knew I shouldn't be doing this but did it anyway. It's almost like an out of body experience.

    I don't feel deprived as I don't eliminate foods, I don't feel hungry, and I don't I have diet fatigue as I don't find it a chore.

    For me I think it's partly hormonal, partly job dissatisfaction and partly home life frustration around my son and husband.

    I'm off work for nearly 2 weeks now so I'm going to do loads of jobs and try for a sense of achievement and change to kick start my enthusiasm.

    I hope your doctor can help you and give you some advice and/or tactics. Hang in there you can do this!
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,982 Member
    ah, hugs!

    But don't let that guilt hold control you or hold you back; power through it and remember that there's always a new day following; the only way to actually fail is to give up and let the guilt win. As long as you keep trying, keep getting up, keep working through, you still have hope of victory.

    And take it as a learning experience; no one is perfect; one day is not going to destroy all your work so no need to feel ashamed and you've definitely not wiped out 10 months of work in 1 day; its completely impossible to eat THAT many extra calories in one day, binge or no.

    You can do this! 2 days over isn't going to blow the whole week either, if you were under 5 days.

    I do know that its hard to get past the guilt and shame, but truly, you can do it and get back on track. You've got a lot of people in your corner! :wink:
  • conniewilkins56
    conniewilkins56 Posts: 3,391 Member
    Thank you Jackie and bmeadows...I was up 6 lbs over my lowest this morning...I have to pick myself up and get back on the wheel...I know I can do this but my heart isn’t in it this morning...my life style isn’t that much different than before Corona...I am just tired, that is a lot of it...my husbands pain level with his RA and Spinal Stenosis has been raging the past week...I feel so bad for him and so helpless to help relieve his pain...I might sleep in the guest room a few nights so I am not constantly checking on him thru the night...I feel 100 years old this morning...I also have a huge birthday milestone looming in late July...I hate birthdays....I hate anything reminding me that my life is moving toward my last chapters...I am not middle aged...I am not in my “ golden years”... I am getting old...I do not want wrinkles and saggy splotchy skin...Jeez....somebody shoot me!...this pity party is not attractive...
  • conniewilkins56
    conniewilkins56 Posts: 3,391 Member
    Well, the latest binge has passed and I seem to be in control again....I gained a few pounds but I will take it off in a few days...being a part of this group helps so much....we all relate to so many of the same issues....I feel so much better when I eat healthy foods and stay on track!
  • michne16
    michne16 Posts: 538 Member
    I have not binged in a week. It’s constantly on my mind but I’m powering through it. Now if I can just fix my sleep schedule...
  • conniewilkins56
    conniewilkins56 Posts: 3,391 Member
    michne16 wrote: »
    I have not binged in a week. It’s constantly on my mind but I’m powering through it. Now if I can just fix my sleep schedule...

    Good job not binging!...it is a viscous cycle...
  • conniewilkins56
    conniewilkins56 Posts: 3,391 Member
    Pffft...I binged and it certainly didn’t help my broken toe....I am so pissed
  • kjaylah
    kjaylah Posts: 17 Member
    @conniewilkins56
    I’m very late to this discussion, but I’m a newbie here so please forgive me :)

    I feel your pain as I have been there myself! I’m having CBT now that is really helping how I’m responding to my binges and emotions. I have been 3 weeks now without any major binge. The most I’ve ‘binged’ in that time is really what I would describe as Normal- like having 2 of something instead of one. I feel much happier about my attitude towards food too :)

    I hope you’re getting on well :)
  • conniewilkins56
    conniewilkins56 Posts: 3,391 Member
    kjaylah wrote: »
    @conniewilkins56
    I’m very late to this discussion, but I’m a newbie here so please forgive me :)

    I feel your pain as I have been there myself! I’m having CBT now that is really helping how I’m responding to my binges and emotions. I have been 3 weeks now without any major binge. The most I’ve ‘binged’ in that time is really what I would describe as Normal- like having 2 of something instead of one. I feel much happier about my attitude towards food too :)

    I hope you’re getting on well :)

    I am really doing good right now...opening the pool,swimming and getting out more has really helped...I am glad CBT is helping you...I haven’t had a binge for a while...the binge monster is always lurking in the background but for now he isn’t barking at my shins!
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,982 Member
    @conniewilkins56

    your binge monster sounds more like a yappy little dog - maybe a rat terrier? *laughs* Though when I'm out walking, I hate coming across those little dogs especially if they are running loose - they are more likely to bite than the big ones!