What did you need to learn?
NovusDies
Posts: 8,940 Member
As I mentioned I would like to develop a better resource for new members. To do that more comprehensively I would like to ask for existing members to write SMALL paragraphs for important things you have learned. It can be things you have learned anywhere. Some of what you write may be too specific to you but as I can I will try to adapt it for general use. I will probably try to compile it below then copy and paste it into the final thread.
DRAFT:
Perception of Food:
Food is neither good or evil, junk or healthy, clean or unclean. Depending on the situation any food can be helpful or hurtful. People have gained weight eating a vegan diet and athletes sometime rely on sugar sources for quick energy. Understand that all weight loss comes down to eating slightly less calories than you need each day. They type of food you eat only matters if it causes you a medical problem like an allergy or causes you to eat more of it than you intend.
There is no reason to eliminate any food you can moderate. You may also find that some foods you struggle to moderate now may not be a problem in time so it may be worth trying them again after a few months.
You do not need to lose weight everyday just most days:
Eating more food than you need in a day is no reason to be down on yourself, think you have blown your diet, or worse quit. It is normal to have off days. It is abnormal to lose weight for months and months without making mistakes. Give yourself permission to be human.
Calorie Counting
If you intend to count calories start by counting all of them honestly. It is important to learn what your normal food habits are and how they translate to calories. After time you will learn what shortcuts you can take and still have a calorie count that helps you progress. Choosing to have an open diary is up to you.
Perceptions of Self
Weight gain doesn't mean you were weak, lazy, or bad. It just makes you human in an era of over-abundance. Your weight is one attribute of your total person. It may limit you in some ways but it doesn't define you. As you lose weight you may gain additional freedom and confidence which may may turn up the volume in your life but do not count on it curing unhappiness.
Eat to lose. Exercise to improve fitness.
DRAFT:
1. Don't assign morality to food. Weight loss REALLY DOES come down to a calorie deficit, and you can lose weight eating all of the things that the world tells you are "bad".
2. Learn how to move on from a high-calorie day without beating yourself up. One bad day does not mean you've failed. Get right back on track the next day (or even later the same day!)
3. Track what you eat. You don't have to share with anyone else, but be honest with YOURSELF and track everything.
4. Don't eliminate foods you love. Instead, strive to eat them less often, and eat smaller portions of them.
Perception of Food:
Food is neither good or evil, junk or healthy, clean or unclean. Depending on the situation any food can be helpful or hurtful. People have gained weight eating a vegan diet and athletes sometime rely on sugar sources for quick energy. Understand that all weight loss comes down to eating slightly less calories than you need each day. They type of food you eat only matters if it causes you a medical problem like an allergy or causes you to eat more of it than you intend.
There is no reason to eliminate any food you can moderate. You may also find that some foods you struggle to moderate now may not be a problem in time so it may be worth trying them again after a few months.
You do not need to lose weight everyday just most days:
Eating more food than you need in a day is no reason to be down on yourself, think you have blown your diet, or worse quit. It is normal to have off days. It is abnormal to lose weight for months and months without making mistakes. Give yourself permission to be human.
Calorie Counting
If you intend to count calories start by counting all of them honestly. It is important to learn what your normal food habits are and how they translate to calories. After time you will learn what shortcuts you can take and still have a calorie count that helps you progress. Choosing to have an open diary is up to you.
conniewilkins56 wrote: »I have learned that time is going to pass whether you diet or not...
” Dieting” doesn’t make you a “ good” person....overeating doesnt make you a bad person...
Thin people can be as unhappy as anyone else...being thin doesn’t necessarily mean you will be happy!
Eating healthy and restricting calories makes you lose weight....exercise makes you physically fit...
As you get older everything sags because of the force of gravity!
Perceptions of Self
Weight gain doesn't mean you were weak, lazy, or bad. It just makes you human in an era of over-abundance. Your weight is one attribute of your total person. It may limit you in some ways but it doesn't define you. As you lose weight you may gain additional freedom and confidence which may may turn up the volume in your life but do not count on it curing unhappiness.
Eat to lose. Exercise to improve fitness.
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Replies
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I probably don't have much to say that you won't already include, but here are a few for me. (Re-word and re-work as needed!)
1. Don't assign morality to food. Weight loss REALLY DOES come down to a calorie deficit, and you can lose weight eating all of the things that the world tells you are "bad".
2. Learn how to move on from a high-calorie day without beating yourself up. One bad day does not mean you've failed. Get right back on track the next day (or even later the same day!)
3. Track what you eat. You don't have to share with anyone else, but be honest with YOURSELF and track everything.
4. Don't eliminate foods you love. Instead, strive to eat them less often, and eat smaller portions of them.3 -
bobsburgersfan wrote: »I probably don't have much to say that you won't already include, but here are a few for me. (Re-word and re-work as needed!)
1. Don't assign morality to food. Weight loss REALLY DOES come down to a calorie deficit, and you can lose weight eating all of the things that the world tells you are "bad".
2. Learn how to move on from a high-calorie day without beating yourself up. One bad day does not mean you've failed. Get right back on track the next day (or even later the same day!)
3. Track what you eat. You don't have to share with anyone else, but be honest with YOURSELF and track everything.
4. Don't eliminate foods you love. Instead, strive to eat them less often, and eat smaller portions of them.
These are the kinds of things I am really likely to overlook though. I am always so anxious to get to the entree that I am often bad at dealing with the appetizers. I might have hit all of them or I might have missed something. It is hard to say. I know to say them when I see someone struggling but trying to write up something comprehensive takes me many tries. I really want to get something pretty complete this time around.
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I have learned that time is going to pass whether you diet or not...
” Dieting” doesn’t make you a “ good” person....overeating doesnt make you a bad person...
Thin people can be as unhappy as anyone else...being thin doesn’t necessarily mean you will be happy!
Eating healthy and restricting calories makes you lose weight....exercise makes you physically fit...
As you get older everything sags because of the force of gravity!2 -
Look to the long haul - you didn't put it on overnight and it isn't going to come off overnight.
Find a method that is sustainable and you can see yourself eating like for the rest of your life - short term gimmicks don't work.
Carb's are not evil, sugar is not poison, and everything in moderation.
Water weight stinks big time and can screw with your head, but you don't gain 2 lbs or more overnight, so calm down, breath, and repeat that its water weight; it will come off.
Weight loss isn't linear and sometimes your body just like to mess with you, so you have to be patient and stay the course and wait your body out.2 -
One thing leads to another.
First thing I noticed was that my portions were too big. Then I noticed that I was hungry a lot and that didn’t feel very good. Then I figured out that by making better choices I could get more than enough to eat without blowing up my plan.
It was some time later that I learned that the real important thing was the process.4 -
1. I think it's just as important to count and monitor the days you fall of the wagon (or just decide to stop dieting for a while) as it is to track while your dieting. You can catch yourself sooner if things get wildly off track...
2. Get rid of your too big clothes and things that remind you of the past as soon as you can, if you have to go back out and re buy larger clothing you feel that things are getting off track without stepping on a scale.
This action of monitoring not just your weight but how you feel is for life.
I learned the hard way not stepping on the scale for a few years, and 100lbs later... I know the fact that i kept my larger clothing didn't help, i just kept mindlessly pulling it out. If I was monitoring I wouldn't be so in shock.
Hope this helps someone not regain like I did.
Hugz, Lyn2 -
Ragamuffin14 wrote: »1. I think it's just as important to count and monitor the days you fall of the wagon (or just decide to stop dieting for a while) as it is to track while your dieting. You can catch yourself sooner if things get wildly off track...
2. Get rid of your too big clothes and things that remind you of the past as soon as you can, if you have to go back out and re buy larger clothing you feel that things are getting off track without stepping on a scale.
This action of monitoring not just your weight but how you feel is for life.
I learned the hard way not stepping on the scale for a few years, and 100lbs later... I know the fact that i kept my larger clothing didn't help, i just kept mindlessly pulling it out. If I was monitoring I wouldn't be so in shock.
Hope this helps someone not regain like I did.
Hugz, Lyn
Yup; the first time I lost a bunch of weight 8 years ago, I just put all my big clothes in a tub and shoved them in my closet as a "just in case" - so I was pretty much essentially setting myself up for failure, I suppose. Sure enough, I was digging them back out within 3 years.
This time around I did get rid of almost everything. I kept a top or two and I think a pair of pants to compare with, but everything else went when I had to finally get a new wardrobe. And now I find myself going down a few sizes again, so I'm working through my closet a second time!1 -
I can only think of two at the moment:
Make sure you always have food you like at home. There have been countless times I've been tempted to go through a drive through on the way home but knowing I had something good at the house made it that much easier to resist.
The first law of motion sums it up nicely: a body in motion tends to stay in motion. Exercise and stretching really do go a long way to help stay the course. It's such a good feeling to discover all the new things your body can do.
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An important thing I've learned is that it is ok for me to put my health first in my priorities.
For me to achieve greater health I need to eat at a calorie deficit each day, move my body with deliberation, and be kind to myself.1 -
Another thought I just had is that when you are figuring out what works for you, don't be afraid to challenge your own preconceived ideas. We pick up beliefs from all over the place (family members or friends, the internet, media, etc) about what is the "correct" way to lose weight, and they might not be the best plan for us.
If that doesn't make sense an example is that my mom was a perpetual dieter my whole life, and I picked up a lot of things from her. Quite a few years ago, I realized that I had a couple of food rules that I had picked up from her, and when I thought about it and told myself it was okay not to follow those rules, it made losing weight seem so much more sustainable to me.
I'm not sure if this is a new thought or just expounding on the perception of food. I'll let you decide if there's anything worth adding.
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I learned this week that things do get easier on the body!!!!
From January to March I said I would go to the gym because walks outside hurt my knees and I ended up overdoing it and not exercising at all for 4 weeks.
April I bought an elliptical and it took me until the end of May not to almost pass out after 15 minutes of exercise every 2 days. Now it's mid June and I try to get on the elliptical almost every day and i can do 30 minutes pretty easily and my knees are feeling good!!!
I am glad i increased steadily and slowly, I can't wait to see where I am come December.
Wohooooo!
Lyn6 -
A lot of what I learned I already kind of detailed, when I was blogging on my website, if any of it is any use to you, feel free. I feel like a bit of a hypocrite after piling all the weight back on after a year of maintaining, so I would also add that if dealing with emotional issues around food, they should be tackled before or as well as the physical act of weight loss because it's easy to slip back into old coping habits, if you haven't tackled them.
Some stuff here: https://blackwellange.wixsite.com/exercisenoextrafries/myfitnesspal-tips
https://blackwellange.wixsite.com/exercisenoextrafries/single-post/2016/12/27/The-Start-of-My-Journey
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bobsburgersfan wrote: »Another thought I just had is that when you are figuring out what works for you, don't be afraid to challenge your own preconceived ideas. We pick up beliefs from all over the place (family members or friends, the internet, media, etc) about what is the "correct" way to lose weight, and they might not be the best plan for us.
If that doesn't make sense an example is that my mom was a perpetual dieter my whole life, and I picked up a lot of things from her. Quite a few years ago, I realized that I had a couple of food rules that I had picked up from her, and when I thought about it and told myself it was okay not to follow those rules, it made losing weight seem so much more sustainable to me.
I'm not sure if this is a new thought or just expounding on the perception of food. I'll let you decide if there's anything worth adding.
I don't think it's a learning but more of a realization or a confidence that what I'm doing and the choices I'm making are right for me. We have all gotten tons of advice about how to lose weight and what to eat/not eat that it makes the head spin. If I didn't have aspecific plan of what I was doing it would have been very easy to be swayed or strayed off path. On the flip side having the awarness to change up things that aren't working.1 -
1. Planning ahead helps you to make good decisions and takes the guesswork out of what to eat.
2. Batch cooking/ having quick healthy meals or snacks on hand can help you to stay the course when you are otherwise too busy or stressed to cook.
3. Weight loss is not linear. There will be ups and downs, plateaus and setbacks, but if you stay the course you will get there.
4. When you fail (not if-we all do some days) be kind to yourself and get back on track the next day. One meal or day is not going to wreck your success.1 -
I needed to learn that I am still a strong confident and attractive woman!...I am doing things I could not do a year ago!....I am losing weight but I am gaining so much more....I love my pool workout, I like putting on make up and getting dressed every day instead of living in a night gown...I enjoy being able to shop without sitting in an electrical cart....all of these little things mean so much....7
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Right now I am learning patience!1
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I am learning patience right now too!1
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Thanks for this thread, it's really helpful. I think I needed and still need to learn that just to have a good day is enough, then repeat. Also that I don't need maximum willpower all the time, but I do need maximum willpower when I'm doing the supermarket shop.2
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Time goes by whether I’m working towards my goals or not. Every day piles up. Like each drop fills a bucket.1
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This is a great thread. So many things here that I did learn along the way - probably would have learned much quicker had I read about them (not right away, because I don't learn that fast.)
One activity/thought that I hold onto is that I can't control the day-to-day or week-to-week scale numbers, some days I don't even feel like I have full control over what I eat. But I do have full control of logging everything I eat and any exercise I do. So I am 100% committed to that - no matter how good or bad it is. I think that keeps me coming back and reduces the danger of falling off the weight-loss wagon. Because logging is manageable and I can always feel good about at least having done that, even if what I am logging isn't so great, even if I have to go back a day (or two) to complete my food or exercise diary.3 -
Find foods that you LOVE AND fit your calorie goals - make those staples and experiment in finding more. I found I love veggies and chicken - cooked in a little water with tons of sodium-free seasoning. I eat it most days, and when I need to keep calories low because I have indulged (or plan to indulge elsewhere in my day.
I have come to think of my calories for the day, much as I think about a budget for money. Plan ahead. Buy the best (yummiest and most) things you can buy and don't feel guilty - because you have the cash to buy it with (or calories in this case).
So in that vein, plan ahead (or at least) think ahead if you are going to eat out. You can find something tasty that fits your calorie goals anywhere. And remember you don't HAVE to order a MEAL. You can just order what you are really craving. i.e. If I want a burger, I will get a burger - no fries and a diet coke. I will track that burger and move on (and still eat yummy food the rest of the day). If I want pizza, I will have two slices instead of 6. If I want Olive Garden, I will eat the soup and salad and not the breadsticks - because they aren't "worth" the calories for me.
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I need to learn that when I do a lot of exercise that I really need to eat more of my calories that I used....if I don’t, the next day I am starving....three times I have over eaten the day after heavy exercise when I haven’t eaten enough the day I exercise....3
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conniewilkins56 wrote: »I need to learn that when I do a lot of exercise that I really need to eat more of my calories that I used....if I don’t, the next day I am starving....three times I have over eaten the day after heavy exercise when I haven’t eaten enough the day I exercise....
This is something I am learning too. And it is a tough one. Sometimes on those high exercise days I really don't feel hungry - and a very big part of my brain is so excited by that, and excited that my deficit is so high. But it just doesn't work out very well.1 -
As I mentioned I would like to develop a better resource for new members. To do that more comprehensively I would like to ask for existing members to write SMALL paragraphs for important things you have learned. It can be things you have learned anywhere. Some of what you write may be too specific to you but as I can I will try to adapt it for general use. I will probably try to compile it below then copy and paste it into the final thread.
DRAFT:1. Don't assign morality to food. Weight loss REALLY DOES come down to a calorie deficit, and you can lose weight eating all of the things that the world tells you are "bad".
2. Learn how to move on from a high-calorie day without beating yourself up. One bad day does not mean you've failed. Get right back on track the next day (or even later the same day!)
3. Track what you eat. You don't have to share with anyone else, but be honest with YOURSELF and track everything.
4. Don't eliminate foods you love. Instead, strive to eat them less often, and eat smaller portions of them.
Perception of Food:
Food is neither good or evil, junk or healthy, clean or unclean. Depending on the situation any food can be helpful or hurtful. People have gained weight eating a vegan diet and athletes sometime rely on sugar sources for quick energy. Understand that all weight loss comes down to eating slightly less calories than you need each day. They type of food you eat only matters if it causes you a medical problem like an allergy or causes you to eat more of it than you intend.
There is no reason to eliminate any food you can moderate. You may also find that some foods you struggle to moderate now may not be a problem in time so it may be worth trying them again after a few months.
You do not need to lose weight everyday just most days:
Eating more food than you need in a day is no reason to be down on yourself, think you have blown your diet, or worse quit. It is normal to have off days. It is abnormal to lose weight for months and months without making mistakes. Give yourself permission to be human.
Calorie Counting
If you intend to count calories start by counting all of them honestly. It is important to learn what your normal food habits are and how they translate to calories. After time you will learn what shortcuts you can take and still have a calorie count that helps you progress. Choosing to have an open diary is up to you.conniewilkins56 wrote: »I have learned that time is going to pass whether you diet or not...
” Dieting” doesn’t make you a “ good” person....overeating doesnt make you a bad person...
Thin people can be as unhappy as anyone else...being thin doesn’t necessarily mean you will be happy!
Eating healthy and restricting calories makes you lose weight....exercise makes you physically fit...
As you get older everything sags because of the force of gravity!
Perceptions of Self
Weight gain doesn't mean you were weak, lazy, or bad. It just makes you human in an era of over-abundance. Your weight is one attribute of your total person. It may limit you in some ways but it doesn't define you. As you lose weight you may gain additional freedom and confidence which may may turn up the volume in your life but do not count on it curing unhappiness.
Eat to lose. Exercise to improve fitness.
This is a GREAT post….there is so much good advice in our old posts!…if you have time, read through them….there will be lots of information to help you….2 -
This one is "What DO I need to learn"
(With a nod to Connie's Train topic from a few days ago.)
I need to learn - really learn - how to implement the "Get a solid night's sleep, everynight, rule."
Yesterday's hard earned getting back on track day went right sideways after a poor sleep the night before, and then I managed to stay up to 4 this morning, which led to a bonus meal (the other half of the remaining samosas and the rest of the watermelon in the fridge) that took me over maintenance.
I didn't need more food. I needed sleep.
SLEEP. Can't do this without a solid sleep to keep me anchored.6 -
I have found this thread to be really helpful and insightful; every hard-fought lesson helps arm us in our battle plan for victory! Thanks to all who contributed.
I have one lesson to add - look up nutritional values for a restaurant before ordering - was caught out on this one tonight, realising too late (when completing my food diary) that even the BLT would've been better than the salad I chose! Live and learn
Now, link arms, we shall overcome! 😉3 -
(many) restaurant salads are a crime that should be reported somewhere.4
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This is my MIL, enjoying her Campari and soda at her birthday meal yesterday. She doesn’t look 82, right? She looks younger than me, and I’m 26 years her junior. In the 32 years I’ve known her, I’ve never known her weight to fluctuate more than a pound or two. I used to think she’d won the genetic lottery, until I had two eureka moments.
The first eureka hit me like a thunderbolt. We treated her for lunch one day maybe a decade or so ago, and were excited to introduce her to a restaurant that served crispy homemade triple-cooked chips (her Kryptonite). I was really surprised when instead of ordering a portion with her smoked haddock fishcake, she ordered new potatoes and steamed broccoli. The following conversation ensued:
Me: Wow, I was sure you’d opt for the chips...they’re your favourite, right?
Her: Yes, they look delicious, but I had chips yesterday.
That simple sentence – and all it implied – was life-changing for me.
What, you’re not having chips today, because you had chips yesterday? But that was yesterday!
Astonishing as it sounds, up until that very moment, I had never realised that seemingly ‘naturally thin’ people make these sorts of micro-adjustments without conscious thought. Up to that moment, it had literally never occurred to me to not have lunch because I had (say) a buttered cheese scone for elevenses. I would never have even contemplated the idea of eating a salad for dinner because I’d had a 12” pizza for lunch. I would never have declined dessert at dinner because I’d had a slice of a colleague’s birthday cake mid-afternoon.
I didn’t make adjustments during the course of a day, when my memory of what I’d already eaten was fresh and vivid, let alone allow what I ate yesterday to influence my eating choices today.
Did people do that? Really? It was a total revelation!
After that, I paid more attention to MIL’s eating habits. It didn’t matter if all her favourite foods were lined up in a row – if she’d over-indulged a day or so before, she exercised iron willpower until she’d had a couple of counter-balancing days. Even at Christmas, birthdays or when we took her on holiday. It was an invariable pattern.
The second Eureka moment came a year or so later, when her second husband died and she came to stay with us for a couple of months while she downsized houses. The woman is a human dynamo! She never sits still! It drove me insane.
For instance, we’d all sit down to watch a movie she wanted to see, or an episode of her favourite show. Within 30 seconds, she was up getting the dog a biscuit. Two minutes later, she noticed a piece of fluff on the carpet and had to go over and pick it up. Five more minutes and she thinks it’s dark enough to close the curtains for the evening. Then she wonders if we fancy a cuppa. Back five minutes and the poor dog looks like it needs another biscuit. Or maybe it needs a pee, so she’d better walk round the garden and pull up a weed or two while it sniffs around the rose bushes. Oh, and perhaps she’d better get the watering can and water the hanging baskets so they don’t dry out.
Honest to God, it was like she had ants in her pants! She was on the go from daybreak until bedtime. Her NEAT burn must’ve been off the charts.
So that was the second Eureka moment. She was slim, seemingly without exercising, because she was constantly active.
Both revelations have had a huge impact on my approach to reaching and maintaining a healthy goal weight and lifestyle. She is the person I channel if I'm on the cusp of making a poor decision. If I look half as good as MIL when I’m 82, I’ll be pretty happy!
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Thank you for sharing. She looks amazing! - that skin that hasn't been stretched and expected to shrink a million times over.
So many lessons here.2 -
lauriekallis wrote: »Thank you for sharing. She looks amazing! - that skin that hasn't been stretched and expected to shrink a million times over.
So many lessons here.
I need to add that MIL isn't at all niggardly about pleasure - she loves all the good things in life, and enjoys them to the full. Good food, good wine, good sex, good friends, good times. She loves to cook and bake, to eat out, to paint and dance and go to the theatre, to curl up with a good book and a glass of wine and a plate of what she calls 'snicky-snacks'. She's an animal-loving, pleasure-enjoying bon vivant....but she also exercises moderation in all things. She's an inspiration!4
