To Tame a Fox Diary

totameafox

I will be 52 in April. I am disabled. I was born this way though I was much more able-bodied when I was younger.

I have a condition called Multiple Hereditary Exostoses which is where bone and cartilage tumors grow off bones. While not common, anyone can get one but I think the only bone not affected in my body is my skull. It also causes the skeleton to grow wrong which has a side affect of joints breaking down quicker. So imagine spikes in your muscles and limited mobility from deformed joints and bones.

No need to say I was never really into sports but I do wish my parents would have encouraged me to be more active. Now I have to figure out how to be active as I can be with my limitations so that I am not limited by them.

I have been diagnosed with diabetes for about 5 years now. My biggest worry with that is going blind because my friend has gone blind from unchecked diabetes.

I am also a very awkward personal socially. Trying to start a community here scares me but I am going to try.

totameafox

Start Date: January 5 2025
Start Weight: 238.4 lb
First Goal: 228.4lbs (start stretching)
Maybe end goal: 130 lbs (likely unrealistic but we will see)
Non scale goal - being comfortable in a size 2x shirt

01-06-2025 - 236.4
01-07-2025 - 235.2
01-08-2025 - 234.2
01-09-2025 - 232.8
01-10-2025 - 234.4
01-11-2025 - 233.4
01-12-2025 - 233.2

week 1 loss - 5.2 lb

I have learned that I cannot eat 2 salads in the same day. The volume of food is just too much.
I also went out to eat twice with my mother. I didn't track those two days. I just ate enough breakfast to have something on my stomach and didn't worry about the calories. I think the next time we go to waffle house I should take my own syrup for the waffles because my readings for those nights were above 200. But i do seem to be on a lowering trend.

01-13-2025 - 231.4
01-14-2025 - 229.4
01-15-2025 - 230.0

I knew I was going to bounce at some point because nearly 4 lbs in two days is just wtf... but I really wanted to say goodbye to 230.

totameafox

01-16-2025 - 229.4 lb

>.< so I used the wrong item on my recipe today and I didn't have the full amount of cheese that was required. nor did i want to do the math of find out what the calorie/nutritional info between 1/2 cup of milk and 1 cup of unsweetened vanilla almond milk is. I also divided the total by 4 instead of 3. So I think I am probably still around my estimated calories for the day.

edited to add: blood sugar this morning was 96!

totameafox

01-17-2025 - 229.4
01-18-2025 - 228.8

Decided not to live in the past... and changed the dates in my previous posts to reflect the current year. Yesterday was a bit rough. I wasn't hungry but then rarely feel the urge to eat. I normally say I am hungry when I realize that I need to eat, not that the desire is there. So I'm more of a bored eater. Yesterday all i was doing was watching tv and I wanted to mindlessly snack on something. I didn't. But time sure dragged. I wasn't even hungry by my designated meal time but I was damn happy when it came so I could at least complete the urge.

blood sugar yesterday : morning 91 and evening 98. just noting because this is likely the first time in a while that it has been under a hundred on both measurements.

This morning it was 86 Today i will be eating more carbs than normal though. so we'll see how the numbers go.

Bookphilosopher

I loved this line in your last entry "Decided not to live in the past... and changed the dates in my previous posts to reflect the current year" such an important reminder for us all

Also great job tracking your blood sugar! My mom has diabetes so I know it's super important.

totameafox

Yeah. It is a good line... Also good to focus on that than the fact that I didn't transition to the new year date smoothly.

So today is Week 2 current weight is 228.2lbs which is a lost of 10.2 lbs! Bye by 230. I will never see you again.

I was a little bad yesterday. I got ice cream... it was with my calories... but I did not stick with the plan. The plan was to eat half of it and give the rest to the boyfriend. He got one bite. If you need an ice cream fix. go HALO. It may not be as good as hagandaz but if you eat the entire pint it's not a big deal.

I've already talked about my misadventure in cooking in the little bumps section so I'm not going to repeat that here. But I do have dinner cooked for the next week.

Since i have them. Here are the pics for this week. I think my face actually looks fatter in this picture than the original so no point in doing a side by side yet.




And stretching starts today, so i am off to that!

totameafox

So I had a fight with my boyfriend Sunday night. It put me in a bad spot mentally. Monday is normally a day when I go out to eat with my mom. My usual routine is just to eat cottage cheese and chia seeds early in the day and then eat whatever I want when we go out. But this day I allowed myself a little comfort eating. I had some mozzarella cheese that had been in the fridge for a month so I grabbed that and my boyfriends ritz crackers. After the mozzarella was gone I switched to zucchini. I can't say it was satisfying in a taste way but it got me through. I didn't eat as much for dinner as I thought I would though. But i countered that by buying oreo ice cream on a stick.

So I have no idea how bad the calories went over. I am not going to weigh myself until Sunday. I already felt bad about sunday and the answers I got from talking to my mom don't really resolve the issue in a way that I want. There is no point in stressing myself about the day any more than I have already been through. That doesn't help healing or build my mental strength. I have always been a daily weigher but it is probably better just to go to once a week.

I will still post daily here. I slept until 11 am yesterday so I altered my meal plan to only have two meals. I had to use chia seeds to pad out the calories. But now that I think about it, I am not sure if I used the chia seeds for dinner. I probably need to start reviewing my food diary when I make the meal so that i get everything that I log.

i've been neglecting the stretching too - time to get back at it.

totameafox

Ok. so haven't exactly posted daily nothing really exciting when i am not weighting myself daily. Not quite sure which is worse... the disappointment when the scale goes up or the anxiety of not knowing the progress for a week.

I've been stretching. I know to expect a body ache as things get settled but I can't tell if my neck hurts from the stretching or just because it hurts. Oh well. the only way through is through.

And salads are over until the next big grocery hall! it took me two hours to eat the salad today and it's only about 2 more hours until time for dinner

Bookphilosopher

I agree with this line "Not quite sure which is worse... the disappointment when the scale goes up or the anxiety of not knowing the progress for a week." I also only try to weigh in once a week (usually on Mondays) but sometimes the weeks feel long in between weigh ins!

Takes me a long time to eat salads also!

totameafox

I wimped out and stepped on the scale... 228.0 at least it's not up. i can barely turn my head today at least i haven't had the urge to snack because I'm only watching tv.

totameafox

So this first weigh in this morning was 272.2. I was satisfied with that. But me putzing around the computer for 15 minutes allowed my body to adjust to being up right and decided it needed to return to the bathroom for a 1lb poo

so official week 3 weight 226.2lbs for a loss of 12.2 lbs!

yeah i'm not shy about talking poo. every one should strive for easy healthy pooing. Fiber is our friend especially when you are on meds that make the water in your body waked up.

The neck is still a pain though

Bookphilosopher

Great job on your progress so far! You're doing awesome.

I hope your neck feels better asap!

totameafox

Thanks book!

I won't say I had an 'off' day. But I likely used every calorie I burned. I probably should have taken a picture of the food. It was beautiful.

Anyways. It's a reminder that we don't have to feel guilty over what we eat when we are in control of what we eat. Today was a decision I made. Tomorrow will be another decision. I am going out with my aunt to get a pedicure but I will be eating at home.

Bookphilosopher

I love this line "Anyways. It's a reminder that we don't have to feel guilty over what we eat when we are in control of what we eat. Today was a decision I made. Tomorrow will be another decision." Such a good reminder! Every day is a new day to make a new decision also!

totameafox

I will definitely take a picture the next time I go and probably not order the bigger of the two hamburgers sizes.

I didn't go get my toes done. I won't say I am agoraphobic but I've grown too accustomed to being in my house day after day and didn't want to go out two days in a row. I did need to cook. So I did that instead. Now my meals for the next 5 days are taken care of. Except for breakfast. Still have to cook those eggs each day

I stretched. I'm still stiff periodically throughout the day. But I am getting breaks here and there were turning my head doesn't feel like an old door with 10 layers of paint and rust trying to open. I don't hold out any hope of ever touching my toes again but folding over does feel good for the back and I'm hoping at some point the back of my thighs won't protest me stretching the front of my thighs.

I hope everyone else is doing fine.

totameafox

It's been a lazy day. Though I am not 100 % certain I think my brain decided light nausea was hunger. Sometimes video games make me woozy. And since my sense of hunger is wacky, if I am 'woozy' it must be because I haven't eaten anything in a month... I didn't over eat but I did eat everything a bit early. I've been using cough drops to get through the bored part of the evening.

Though I didn't go adventuring into the wilds of mfp community threads, I decided that I should become a bit more structured with my stretching. So I started a thread for that. I also ordered a stretching band that should come in a couple of days. I don't expect to become as limber as I was when I did martial arts but who needs to kick a tall man in the face anyway? kick them in the groin and then knee them in the face... works much better.

Any who... hope you are all well.

totameafox

Welcome to all the new friends who have joined the group. I look forward to hearing your voices. I feel so awkward replying to threads. I've never been socially graceful. So I hope that seeing my words helps you as much as it helps me to write them.

Eating was still a bit weird today. I waited a little late to eat breakfast but then a couple of hours later I ate my main meal. Don't know why the body decided it wanted that much that early, likely the bored eating again. But I've been fine since i've had my veggies at 5:30.

I added shoulder stretches to the stretching thread. Did the neck and shoulder stretches. I definitely need the list. I don't know if I will do hands and arms or back tomorrow but eventually we will make it to the toes!

Hope all of you had a good day.

mucky1217

Your replies aren't awkward at all! It's encouraging and hopefully will help us all to stay on track. Thanks for starting this group!

totameafox

Thanks Mucky. That greatly helps with my social anxiety. You are welcome and thanks for joining my group. I get excited to come here every day and see who is new or what has been posted.

I did step on the scale this morning just to make sure it was going in the downward trend. Not going to record the weight but it was reassuring. I'm not picky about the number each week as long as it is at least 0.2lbs below the week before. Though realistically I know I am eating at a bigger calorie deficit to lose more than 0.2lbs but there is part of my brain going... it's not working. I guess more of a fear it won't work than anything. But I've never had problems losing weight so one would think my brain would have more faith.

I got to eat 9 slices of bacon. I think my brain was over the happy dance at the 3rd slice. But still.. bacon. Tomorrow I will finish the bacon. I would prefer it in a sammich or in grits but those are not things that I will bring into the house. I wouldn't even have bacon if my mom didn't send it home with me.

I added to the stretches thread and did all the stretches listed twice. I'll add back tomorrow. I have notice that my neck feels better. It was stiff in the morning so i had to use the heating pad. but during the day I have been fine and the pain that usually has me hating life is not there. My neck is deformed so sometimes a nerve gets compressed. I think stretching helps by my muscles not pulling so hard on my vertebrae.

I hope all of you are having/had a great day

megd44

It is so awesome that you started this group. Good for you for figuring out what you need and making it happen.

I am coming to the end (I think) of my weight-loss journey and moving into maintenance. This us an inspiring group and I am hoping we can all learn from each other.

totameafox

I am definitely looking forward to learning from you Meg.

i shouldn't have stepped on the scale this morning... I am forgetting it... it didn't happen . only tomorrow morning counts!

I managed to stand the entire way through cooking breakfast this morning. Normally it's just frying eggs. But I had to cook the rest of the bacon I wisely didn't cook last night (cause i would have eaten it.) it didn't feel great but I pushed through. so that's a win.

and I am soo out of shape. The stretching pushed up my heart rate and tuckered me out. But I did all the listed ones twice. Tomorrow I will add sides. Technically I should be looking at making a new goal for tomorrow but I'm going to stick with daily stretching and add a new goal once I've got a full body list and I'm doing it consistently.

being disable doesn't mean I can avoid exercising. but it will have to wait a little while longer.

I hope everyone is having a great day.

totameafox

ouch.. just post stretch typing this. one day I won't be exhausted from stretching. I don't even have my full routine set yet. But soon.

today is official. week 4. I need to remind myself I said I would be happy a 0.2lbs loss from last week. I got double!!!!
Starting Weight 238.4
week 4 weight 225.8
difference from last week 0.4
total loss 12.6

I got my walker and set it up today. Not that I have a need to go out. but if i do, I can access more places. Not sure I am going to walk for exercise yet. but if i do that, I will get my walking pad from my moms so i can take multiple short walks for the day.

I just purchased a mp3 player because I hate my current one. I just can't get the buds to stay in my ear and I've discovered that stretching to music that I was walking to just isn't the same. The boyfriend was off work today and my computer was clashing with his tv so I couldn't listen to external speakers... he was the one who suggested I get them

I didn't really have any issues with eating today. I think sugarfree hard candy will be enough to keep me from bored snacking.

Hope you are all having a good day and that your coming week will be all that you want it to be.

totameafox

So the weight that I was hoping that would be gone yesterday disappeared today.

224.6 - that is 13.8lbs unofficial

I cooked today. Had 4 days worth of meals made. Boyfriend ate one. I was supposed to go get a pedicure today but that didn't happen. So now that is supposed to be tomorrow. I'm going to try to convince my aunt to go eat pizza. I haven't had that in a while and we both prefer thin crust.

I decided not to stretch today. Will return to the torture routine tomorrow. I hope you are all having a great day.

totameafox

224.4 - that is 14.0 lbs unofficial
I ate out twice today. I managed to squeak under my tdee estimate but not intentionally. Breakfast definitely wasn't worth 710 calories. I will never do that again. But I will be finishing the rest of the pizza that was left over from dinner with my aunt. It's not in my food log because I'm not certain of the macros.

I didn't stretch today either. I've been out longer than I expected so I'm just going to start again tomorrow.

I hope all of you are well

totameafox

I stepped on the scale this morning and it was over 226... i'm sure that didn't happen and i was hallucinating. But it's all good. my boyfriend helped me out today by eating the largest slice of left over pizza that he said was 'all me' to take care of since it had bacon on it.

i finished my stretching list and did it from head to toe. I creak like an old set of stairs

anyway now to find some chair exercises videos so I can start moving more.

I hope all of you are well and achieving your goals!

totameafox

I got a little lazy yesterday evening. I wasn't home most of the day. Elder sitting. My aunt takes care of two old women. One bed bound the other prone to falling and she gets anxiety when she has to go on errands. So I stayed there and worked on cross stitching. My right arm wasn't happy from my 8 minute sad attempt at exercise. So when I got home I didn't stretch nor try to work out again. I definitely don't know how many calories I consumed yesterday. I didn't go hog wild but definitely said effit and ate dinner even though lunch was likely enough calories for the day.

Today both arms hurt. Imagine having nails embedded in your muscles when you move. That is me. As much as I like that video. I'm going to have to start with something more stubble or at least something that i an alternate with. I'm going to give it another day of rest and start stretching and find a seated tai chi video tomorrow.

I hope all of you are well.

mucky1217

Your progress is inspiring. Despite your physical limitations you are doing what you can!

totameafox

Thanks Mucky. That helps considering the day I had yesterday.

Starting Weight 238.4 lb
Week 4 228.8 lb
Week 5 227.2 lb
GAIN of 1.4lbs
Total official loss 11.2lbs

the only thing that kept me said was knowing I didn't eat enough calories for the 1.4lbs to be actual body mass

the plan for the day was to go grocery shopping at two different places and then to retire with my entire bag of Cheetos white cheddar puffs and chill out while watching a movie or playing a video game. Instead my boyfriend lost his phone and we spend most of the day looking for it and when that failed getting him a new one.

when we finally went shopping. I checked out before he did. Honestly my head was in my *kitten* but to me, it's not a big deal if I go through the check out once for each of us or once for us together. I went to the exit door to look and see if he was in the car. I called him. He didn't answer his phone but before I could turn around and look for him, he found me.

whenever my boyfriend gets mad, he acts like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum. It didn't matter that my mistake was easily rectifiable. I made the apology we could have gotten the groceries but he wouldn't hear of it. OH... his new phone was in the car.

So we went to walmart. I left him at the premade salads and told him I was going over to pick up stuff to make my salads. I did stop and pick up chicken and ground turkey and then went to get the lettuce, bell peppers and zucchini. When i scooted back to he salads. he was gone. I rolled back around the produce. didn't see him. Called him on the phone... he didn't answer because he left the thing in the car again.

finally he did pick up the phone because he went back to the car. Of course this was all my fault. The fact that we could have found each other if he had his phone didn't factor into it AT ALL. i left him. I could have stayed in one spot until he found me.

He also gets mean and petty. When we got home I told him to go inside, eat and watch the superbowl. I would take care of the groceries because I didn't want to deal with his pissy attitude. But he insisted on taking in the groceries. Mind you, when he pulled the cart out of the car, one of the wheels got caught. He then threw it on the ground. I just picked it up and pushed the middle. It's a black cart. It was dark outside. How the *kitten* am I supposed to see that the wheel is missing when he was the one that caused it to be missing in the first place? I found it in the car. gave it back to him. Got a hand full of bags and took those groceries inside. I went back out. Got more groceries while was still fiddling with the cart. Then I help put the groceries away.

I am exhausted and in pain. I go sit down at my desk and he 'oh what a surprise, you're sitting down the instant things are done'... what the *kitten* dude? I told him that sounded like a 'him problem' and I wasn't going to get into it with him while he was being an *kitten*.

but those cheese puffs that I didn't have anything to eat in over 24 hours for just wasn't as enjoyable after that nonsensical bull *kitten*.

I did do my stretching yesterday.

Today I weighed 226.8. Loss of 0.6lbs so -11.8 overall.
I cooked stuffed peppers and tuna casserole. So I have my meals for the next 8 days made all i have to worry about is breakfast.

I haven't done it yet but I plan on stretching and finding a tai chi video that I can get some movement in. I need to build some endurance in my arms before trying that first video I posted.

I just want to say that anytime anyone needs to vent about something. I'll be happy to listen. Don't bottle it up. And when someone gives you grief, don't engage in it. You take care of you how you need to take care of yourself.

Also happiness is a choice. It is something you can choose. Being miserable sucks. I refuse. I used to have severe issues with depression all the time. Now it's 2-4 times a year for a few hours.

I hope all of you are having a good day.

totameafox

I totally spaced on this yesterday. So much for a daily diary

Anyhoo
2-11-2025 weight 226.8, no change
2-12-2025 weight 226.2 total UNofficial loss 12.2 lbs

feels like I've been here before because it was the official weight of Jan 26
I almost didn't stretch today but I couldn't think of a reason not to other than being lazy. The pain from that first workout session is gone so it's just my normal aches that I can't do anything about. Got to admit my neck is a lot better now. It may be stiff for a few minutes after I wake up in the morning but I'm not hurting all day. so Yay for stretching.

I'm buying a swiveling shower stool to be my workout seat. The office chair I have is a bit too tall and i can't put my feet flat on the ground. I wish I had realized I needed one sooner because I bought a cheep stool for my boyfriend to smoke outside on. I'm 6lbs to heavy and I'm not sure i would trust it to move on but this one could have worked for both. oh well. can't reverse time.

I hope everyone is having a good day and achieving what they want to achieve.

pamelaory

Hi totameafox, thanks for the invite to your group/blog. I too, am disabled. I was hit by a drunk driver in my early 20’s. The resulting injuries have caused more and more chronic pain over time. It makes exercise more challenging but not impossible.

Thanks for being an inspiration! We can do this. 😊

totameafox

I completely understand the more chronic pain over time. It's hard to get medicated for it. I look forward to hearing about your progress. Thanks for joining!

I was a little lazy yesterday. I skipped stretching and my little 6 minute tai chi video. I probably shouldn't wait until evening to do everything. So today I've done the stretches and moved to a new video. Honestly the 6 minute one, while it did make me a little tired, was a bit too easy. I am so tuckered out now and all i did was wave my arms around in a circle.

The scale caught up with me I think. Or perhaps it's a grand illusion that will disappear tomorrow. My official week 5 weigh in had me gaining 1.4lbs

2-13-2025: 225.4 lbs -1.8lbs (-13 lbs)
2-14-2025: 223.2 lbs -4.0lbs (-15.2 lbs)

I have no idea where I misplaced 2 lbs over night so I'm expecting to bounce a bit in the morning. Feels good though! My boyfriend's favorite joke is how I am full of sh.it.e. It's always good to have a sense of humor.

I hope you are all having a happy valentines day. Remember to be your own valentine. You should always love yourself. You are worth that much. and I most definitely care for all of you.